Finding Home (11 page)

“So,” Mike said, leaning over the table and grasping her hands, “spill. Who is this guy? Is it
luuurve
?” He emphasized the word in a joking manner, but Jessica’s expression sobered him. “Oh, shit,” he said. “It is.”

“Well, I wouldn’t go that far,” she hastened to explain. “I just…I don’t know. There’s something about him. Something hopeful, hidden beneath this exterior of stoic pain.” She laughed. “And sometimes not so stoic.”

“Oh, girl,” Mike chuckled, slapping the table softly. “Don’t get mixed up with a man-child!”

“He’s not, though, really,” she defended. “He’s just confused, I think. His life hasn’t turned out the way he’d hoped.”

“Have any of ours?” Mike asked. “Do you think I wanted to be a single, gay man walking dogs for a living at thirty-five?”

“Hmm, no, I suppose not. And I certainly didn’t want to be lugging groceries for Shaw’s for minimum wage or working on a farm in frigid temperatures.”

“Nobody’s perfect,” Mike said. “But if you think this guy is perfect for
you
then you need to stop moping around here, and go get him.”

“But the rings!”

“Forget the rings. They’re the past. Let your aunt and uncle get them back. You did what you had to do. Now, do what you have to do.”

“But I don’t know what that is!” Jessica sipped on her water, feeling torn. Who even knew how Ben felt about her? She could have been simply a holiday fling. “I could be blowing this whole thing out of proportion,” she admitted. “I don’t know how he feels about me.”

“Have you talked to him since you arrived?”

She shook her head.

“Well, that’s your first step, then. And I advise you do it in person. I’ll pay for the airline tickets if I have to.”

She almost spit out her water in shock. “Oh, Mike, no! You’ve worked really hard for your money. Don’t throw it away.”

“It’s not throwing it away,” he said in a firm tone. “It’s helping a dear friend the way I hope someone will help me.”

“Well,” Jessica considered, “let me find the number and call him first. Then you can go about being chivalrous, if there’s cause to be.”

Mike grinned and cut into his steak that had just arrived. “That’s my girl.”

* * * *

Ben walked into the brightly lit grocery store, his carryon bag still over his shoulder, and prayed this one would be the right place. He’d tried three other Shaws in the area, and none had ever heard of Jessica Deitermeier. He shook his head. He couldn’t believe that in all their time together, he hadn’t cared enough to ask her about the details of her life. He swore to make that up to her—if he ever found her. Walking to the service counter, he asked for her by name.

“Jess?” The young brunette’s head perked up. “She hasn’t been here in months.” She looked around nervously. “I’m her replacement. Is she looking for her job back?”

Ben smiled and reassured her. The girl was so relieved that she looked up Jessica’s information in the store staff directory without asking any more questions. Ben called her old apartment number, and the man who answered gave him the number of the landlord. The landlord had her uncle’s information, and Ben found himself on a train to Woodbridge within the half hour.

The ride was blissfully short, a mere twenty minutes and he found himself at the station, looking confusedly at the directions the girl had scrawled out for him. Who gave out directions based solely on Dunkin’ Donuts locations? He sighed, hailing a cab. He’d have better luck asking one of them.

“Where to, sonny?” the old man’s eyes glittered in the lights as he pulled his taxi to the curb.

“Do you know how to get here?” Ben asked, pointing to the paper.

“I know how to get everywhere,” the driver smiled. “But here…” He peered intently at the notes. “What do you want to go here for?”

Ben bristled. “It’s personal.”

The man laughed and stuck his hand out the window. “I’m Charlie,” he said. “Get in.”

As the cab slowly made its way out of the station, the man started right in on Ben. “You going after that girl?”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“That redhead. You know her?”

“Jessica?” Ben was incredulous. “Yeah, I know her. You know her?”

“Gave her a ride about a week ago. She had quite the Christmas story, boy.”

Ben gave a wry twist to his lips. “I’m sure she did.” He looked up as the cab came to a stop. “Hey, why are we stopping here?”

“I’ve just got a hunch, is all,” Charlie said. “I think you might look a little more impressive if you show up bearing the lady’s jewelry which she had to pawn here.”

Ben’s eyes widened. “How much did she get?”

Charlie shrugged. “Don’t know. Not enough. A few thousand.” He turned to Ben. “Can you afford ‘em?”

Ben nodded. “I can now.”

He got out of the cab and entered the shop, surprising an old woman at the counter.

“What is with these late night customers?” she muttered. “One on Christmas, now you on nearly New Year’s.” She looked up at him. “What you selling?”

“I’m buying, actually,” Ben said.

She gave him a suspicious glance. “I’m listening.”

“I need the rings a young lady sold to you a while back.”

She shook her head. “Can’t do it. Won’t do it. They’re not for sale.”

“I’ll give you a hundred thousand dollars for them.”

“No.”

“Two hundred thousand.”

She hesitated. “How do you know about them there rings, anyway?”

“I know the original owner. I owe her a favor.”

“Why isn’t she here, then?”

“Well,” Ben hedged. “I’m kind of surprising her.”

She hobbled around the counter, standing right in front of him, and peered into his eyes. “How do I know I can trust you? You might go running off with them.”

“I might,” Ben said. “But I won’t. I’m much more likely to go running off with her, if she’ll have me.”

The woman laughed. “Well, if that’s how it is, I suppose I’ll take my chances.” Her face sobered again. “But if you’ve lied to me, and that girl comes in here looking for her stuff, I will personally hunt you down and shoot you.” She pointed at a rifle hanging behind the counter, and Ben held up his hands in mock surrender before catching the woman’s gaze and holding her eyes.

“You’ve no need to worry,” he said, hoping his sincerity was shining through.

“We’ll see,” she said. “Two hundred thousand. Cash or credit?”

Chapter Ten

Ben shuffled his feet as he waited for Jessica to answer the door. When an older gentleman faced him instead, he took a step back. He should have expected her uncle to come to the door, but somehow, his anticipation of this moment had blotted out commonsense.

“Can I help you, young man?” The uncle looked kindly, though stress lines marred his gentle face at the lips and corners of his eyes.

“I’m looking for Jessica, sir,” Ben said, regaining his composure. “Is she in?”

“Who might I say this is?”

“Ben, sir.”

The older man’s face broke into a wide grin. “Ah, so you’re the one, then.” He stopped, looking mildly confused. “Was she expecting you?”

“Well,” Ben hedged, “not exactly.”

“It’s no matter,” the uncle said. “I’m sure she’ll be glad to see you. But she isn’t here right now. She’s having dinner on Newbury. Would you like to wait for her?”

Ben didn’t really feel comfortable waiting for Jessica in her relatives’ home. She had mentioned she hardly knew them herself. He would feel an utter intruder if he stayed. “Is it far to Newbury?”

Her uncle shrugged. “About twenty minutes. If you hurry, you might catch her.” He stuck out his hand. “I’m Travis, by the way. Pleased to meet you.”

Ben shook his hand then turned back to signal to Charlie to stay for a moment. “I think I’ll try my luck down there. Where is she exactly?”

“At the TGI Fridays,” Travis said. “Good luck! We’ll see you back here soon.”

Getting into the taxi, Ben asked if Charlie knew how to get there.

“I told you, boy, I know how to get everywhere.” The driver paused. “That’ll be my last stop though. I’m off-shift, and I want to get home to my family.”

Ben nodded, thanking the man for his kindness.

After a few harrowing turns and a quick tour of the botched “Big Dig”, Ben found himself curbside at the restaurant. The city was beautiful at night. The little sidewalk shops were lit up for the holiday season, and shoppers and lovers bustled past, bundled in their winter garb. A street sound system still played Christmas carols.

Ben took a few strides toward the place then stopped, peering diagonally into the large glass windows. Jessica sat across from a broad-shouldered man, his hands encasing hers.

Suddenly unsure of himself, Ben hesitated. He ducked behind a corner as the couple stood to leave. Had he completely misread her? He must have been right on the plane. She’d meant to leave all along. She had another lover here. She’d intended to permanently return to her old life, without so much as a proper goodbye.

Anger and embarrassment heated his ears against the night’s cold temperatures. Yet again, Ben had placed his faith in the wrong investment, had moved too quickly and without research, only this time it wasn’t money on the line, but his heart.

The couple emerged, the man casually draping his arm over Jessica’s shoulders to protect her from the stark winds. Ben strained his ears but couldn’t catch their conversation.

He turned in the opposite direction to call to Charlie to take him back to the airport but remembered the man had gone home. Just as Ben should. He should go back home. Back to the farm. Back where he belonged. No matter how much money he made, he would always be a small-town farmer boy. He should have known he had nothing to offer Jessica. She hadn’t even returned his calls. Frustrated, he started walking the glittering sidewalks until he found himself a bar.

* * * *

“He was here?” Jessica looked at her uncle in confusion. “He must have gotten lost or something, or we missed each other. I didn’t see him. Are you sure it was him?”

Travis waggled his eyebrows at her. “Dark, moppy hair, pale, brooding eyes, tall, well-built, with a slight Minnesota accent? Yeah, I’d say I’m pretty sure.”

Jessica settled back into the sofa as Sadie clicked channels on the television, settling on a kids’ Christmas movie, a happiness overriding her tired state. “Well, he’ll end up back here soon, then, won’t he?” She decided to wait up for him.

Travis and the kids eventually went to bed, and Stella came to sit by her on the couch. Anxiety surged within Jessica. She’d been avoiding her aunt, knowing she had to talk to her about Travis’ confession, and not wanting to. She let out a breath. She just couldn’t bring it up and she needed to make her own decisions, but this kindly woman knew the story and had forgiven her uncle. She had to know why.

“Did you want to talk about it, honey?” Stella asked with no pretext of introduction.

“I guess, kind of,” Jessica answered, huddling into the couch’s corner and turning to face her aunt. “What do you think about it?”

“Well.” Stella heaved a heavy sigh. “I think it’s all very sad. Travis is a good man, a good, good man. He’s got a heart of gold. He’s brave and kind, and I know if something like what happened to your mother were ever to happen to our daughters—” She broke off, emotion overcoming her. “Well, he’d kill the guy. He lives with guilt every day of his life. It’s this burden he carries around with him. And no amount of love I can give him will ever make it go away.” She looked at Jessica, her eyes glittering with hope. “I was hoping maybe if you could… Well, if you could love him, maybe that would help.” She paused, thinking. “But I know that’s a lot—no, too much—to ask. I think you even staying here after he told you has helped a great deal. He seems more whole, more at peace.”

Jessica nodded in thought. “He does seem like a very good man…and a family man. He was so young when it all happened. I mean, I can understand his confusion. He was a child—they were both children. Still, after what happened? I can’t blame my mother for not speaking to him. I can’t even imagine—” A sob broke through, stopping her words.

Stella moved over on the couch to place a comforting arm around her shoulders. “When Travis told me, I was shocked. I thought on it for a few days, but to me, he was still the same man. Afterward, I urged him to try to contact Jennifer, to make it right. I know why she never responded, but he had to at least try, you know?”

Jessica nodded again.

“Anyway,” Stella continued, “we’d all really love it if we could be family again. I know it’s awkward, and really, quite awful, but he’s not that twelve-year-old boy anymore. He’s a man, a man haunted by an unending sadness and regret over the part he played so very long ago.”

Jessica gave in to the feeling of comfort and hominess in the house. She fiercely hugged her aunt. “You are all so wonderful. It is a horrible, horrible thing, yes, but one mistake doesn’t make a person.” She paused, coming to a decision. “I’d like to be your family. I think my mom would understand. I almost wish she’d given you the chance in the flesh.”

“Me, too, honey,” Stella answered. “Me, too.” She straightened a bit, wiping a tear from her eye. “But you are enough, more than enough. We have been so blessed this Christmas.”

“Thank you,” Jessica said. “For everything. And especially for talking with me about this. I know it’s uncomfortable.”

“Well, the sooner we get it all out in the open, the sooner we can heal, right?”

The woman patted Jessica’s head. “I’m off to bed. Don’t stay up too late waiting for your Prince Charming, now.”

Jessica smiled. “Oh, I won’t.”

But three hours later, with no sign of Ben, Jessica dragged herself to bed, worried. What if something had happened to him? Or maybe her uncle had simply been mistaken, and it had been some old school friend who’d heard she was back in town.

Exhaustion overcame her, her last thoughts being that she’d call the Elkers first thing in the morning to check in. If Ben were here, she’d be able to turn down Mike’s generous offer. If he wasn’t, she’d at least be able to feel out if he wanted her back in Minnesota with him.