Finding Acceptance in His Arms (17 page)

“What
if I told you that I never had any real intentions of entering the por
n industry and that I don’t want either of us to ever stop
fucking other girls?”

Evan’s
eyes narrowed. “From everything that you told me about yourself so far I’d
think that you were lying about the first part.
And maybe lying about the second part too.”

“
It’s the honest truth.” Kara’s voice dropped to a whisper.
“I have no intentions of ever entering the porn industry. After Jennifer told
me about what she did with you I wanted to experience it for myself. I just
never expected to fall in love with you. Th
at part
was a wonderful surprise. And for the record, I’d love to fuck other girls with
you for the rest of my life.”

He
snorted. “I once told you that matrimony will never be in my future. Not with
anyone. I’m very sorry for both of us on that account.”

In
a last ditch effort to get him to believe her and change his mind, she blurted
out, “I’m really Karan Gibbs. It’s the stage name I chose for myself when I
landed my first big role in Chicago. The girls in the donut shop weren’t
mistaken.”

“I
already kno
w that,” he stated with conviction. “I
recognized you the moment I laid eyes on you last Saturday night from having
seen you a few months ago on entertainment news.”

“You
knew all along?” Kara stepped back to better stare at him in shock.

“Isn’t
that what
I just said?” The undeniable truth was
revealed in the sorrow on his face.

“Why
didn’t you bust me on it? I would have run away as fast as I could and saved
both of us this heartache.”

Evan
shrugged. “You intrigued me. And the more I talked to you, the mor
e I didn’t want you to run away. But, in my defense, I did
try to convince you to go back to your normal life. You outright refused. Why?”

Kara’s
motivations seemed so petty now that he’d put her on the spot. She hung her
head in shame. “You are my one cha
nce to live out one
of my fantasies in a safe environment before I become famous and start living
in a fishbowl.”

Evan
leaned back against the wall of the elevator to let out a sigh of frustration.
“Well, come Saturday, you’ll get what you were really afte
r. But don’t expect me to profess my love for you today or
any other day. I just can’t be the guy that you fly in to see only when you
want to have sex, no matter how many women I’m fucking on the side.”

Searing
pain shattered Kara’s heart into a thousand
pieces.
She couldn’t stop the tears from welling in her eyes. “It wouldn’t be like
that. I really do love you and want to be with you.”

“Just
take a moment to think it through. As soon as the paparazzi see us together in
public they’ll do some digging and
guess what they’re
going to find out about me?”

“But
I really do love you and want to share my life with you.”

“I’m
sorry. But I just don’t believe you’ll want me for the long term, Kara. You
love the limelight too much to ever jeopardize your career. And
I’m okay with that. It’s not a problem in the least. Just
don’t ever ask me again to love you back when you know you’re going to
eventually choose your career over me. This way saves both of us some heartache
down the road.”

He
released the emergency stop
to let the elevator
resume its ascension.

“But
I have a solution that will allow us to stay together permanently.” She punched
the emergency stop button to make the elevator jerk to a halt again. “And it’s
foolproof.”

Annoyance
flitted across Evan’s face.
“Listen to me and
understand. I’m fine with only getting to spend a week with you before you go
back to your amazing career in New York. I’m even sure I’ll forget all about
you once you leave. So let’s just stick to the plan and see this thing to its
inevi
table conclusion on Saturday. Okay?”

Kara
quickly determined she wasn’t going to let him dismiss their one chance for a
happily ever after so easily. “What if you start writing mainstream scripts?
You definitely have the talent if the script you wrote for
us is any indication, and I’ve got the contacts to get them
read by prominent people in the movie studios.”

“Why
don’t you just go ahead and castrate me?” Contempt filled his face. “I don’t
want to write mainstream scripts. I love what I do, every aspect o
f it, every new sex scene that I write. So what other
solution do you have lurking around inside that pretty head of yours, Problem
Solver?”

The
nickname hurt Kara this time. Tears spilling down her face, she slumped against
the wall. “That’s all I have.”

“Well
then, we’re right back to where we started, aren’t we?”

She
reluctantly nodded, knowing it was time to embrace reality. She resolved not to
cry anymore. Besides, Evan had already made up his mind so what would it really
help.

He
released the emergenc
y stop. A tortured sigh escaped
his lips. “I really do appreciate you trying, Kara. But it’s useless. And it
always will be with impossible relationships. So let’s just enjoy each other’s
company for what it really is and forget all about trying to stay to
gether afterward.”

Withdrawing
a tissue and a compact from her pocketbook, she dabbed her tears away and
quickly touched up her makeup as best she could in the short time it took them
to reach the sixth floor.

Before
stepping from the elevator, Evan took h
er hand in
his. Directly before them was a small vestibule with a door. He rang the
doorbell, saying, “Just
be
yourself and Bethany will fall in love
with you, Kara. Same as I did.”

The
sentiment in those words threatened to grind the jagged bits of her
broken heart into nothingness. She sniffled, determined not
to break down.

The
moment the door opened she put on her best smile. But the pretty red-headed
woman, who wore a burgundy pants suit and looked nothing like Evan, didn’t
spare her a single glance.
She only stared at Evan
with fear and anxiety displayed on her pasty white face and in her bloodshot
eyes.

“What’s
wrong, Bethany?” Evan demanded. When his sister didn’t make any reply, the
blood slowly drained from his face and his shoulders slumped as i
f he might crumple to the floor any second. He shook his
head, whispering, “No. It can’t be. Please tell me it isn’t happening again,
Bethany.”

The
woman staggered into his arms to succumb to wracking sobs. Underneath her sobs,
she murmured, “The doctors t
hink the leukemia is
back. I go for more tests in the morning and should know for certain by late
tomorrow afternoon.”

Blindsided
by this unexpected turn of events, Kara watched in growing horror as Evan
wrapped his sister up inside his protective embrace.

Within
seconds he seemed to gain enormous strength. His back straightened, his chest
swelled, and his expression became determined in spite of the tears threatening
to spill from his eyes. His voice took on the property of grinding metal. “We
kicked its a
ss last time and we will again.
Whatever it takes.
I’m not going to let you die on me,
Bethany. You’re all I’ve got left in this world.”

“I’m
so glad you’re here, Evan,” Bethany mumbled, still clinging to him. “I’m so
scared.”

“It’s
going to be all right,”
he assured. “I promise it
will.”

Kara,
feeling uncomfortable and very out of place, knew there was nothing to do
except wait until they acknowledged her presence. Afterward, she would politely
excuse herself so as to give them the privacy they needed.

“Wh
o’s your lady friend?” Bethany stepped back to wipe the
tears from her face with the sleeve of her jacket.

“Uh…her
name is Kara.” Evan glanced around as if trying to get his bearings. “Um…she’s
someone I like very much and I just wanted to introduce you tw
o to each other.”

Kara
took a step backward towards the elevator. “I’m really nobody and I’ve just
remembered that I have somewhere else I need to be right now. I really wish I
could have met you under better circumstances, Bethany. Evan, I suppose I’ll se
e you tomorrow evening, maybe?”

“Yeah,
I’ll try to make it,” he said. “Uh, do you want me to escort you down and hail
you a cab?”

“Not
necessary. You two need some time alone together and I don’t want to impose any
more than I already have.”

“Thanks
for un
derstanding, Kara.” Evan presented a hollow
smile. “I’ll be with Bethany all day tomorrow but I should be able to drop by
to see you tomorrow evening for a few minutes. If for some reason I can’t, I’ll
call you or text you tomorrow night.”

“Okay.”
Kara nod
ded before entering the elevator to head home
so she could cry her heart out inside Jennifer’s arms at all the unfairness of
life.

Chapter Ten

The
hours of Friday passed by as slow as a snail crawls. Kara tried to keep her
mind occupied so as to
not fixate on the terrible
ordeal Evan and Bethany were certainly going through. She did all the laundry,
cleaned the apartment, texted with friends in Chicago and New York, requested
well-wishes for Bethany on social media, anything she could think of to
keep from getting sucked down the rabbit hole of despair.

Come
five o’clock, she’d never been more relieved to see Jennifer walking through
the front door. She rushed to give her best friend a hug.

“Any
news?”
Jennifer hugged Kara back tenderly, as if she
was
scared she might break her.

A
sense of calm flowed into Kara, quelling the anxiety wanting to overwhelm her.
“I haven’t heard a thing. Something may have delayed the results. Or maybe Evan
doesn’t want to talk to me about it. I’m kind of torn as to wh
ich it might be.”

“Let’s
make supper and afterward a pitcher of margaritas,” Jennifer suggested. “We’ll
save the pitcher to celebrate the good news or to commiserate the bad news
after Evan calls or comes by. Okay?”

Kara
nodded and followed Jennifer into
the kitchen. Supper
didn’t take long to prepare as it was nothing more than two TV dinners heated
up in the microwave. Eating supper though, proved impossible. They both just
picked at their food.

“She’s
already beaten it one time. I’m sure she’ll beat it
again
if it turns out she has it,” Jennifer offered.

“I
really hope so. I can’t even begin to imagine what she and Evan are going
through.”

“Me
neither.”

The
very next moment Kara’s phone rang. She snatched it up without ascertaining the
caller’s identity.
“Evan?”

“Karan?
Who’s Evan and who’s this anonymous
friend you’re asking well-wishes for on social media? And when did you leave
Fiji for Atlanta?”

Kara’s
disposition soured even more at recognizing her manager’s voice since it meant
more lying on her par
t.
“Hi to you too, Linda.
For your information, Evan is the
brother of an old friend of mine. I cut my vacation short to visit when I heard
she was possibly ill.”

“Oh,
I see. By the way, the Good Samaritan act on your part has elevated your
numbers. So it’
s proving to be very good for your
growing popularity. And you know how much the movie industry loves popular
people.”

“What
do you want, Linda? I’m waiting to find out if my friend has leukemia right
now. So please make it short, sweet, and to the point.”

“I
was calling to ask how you might feel about cutting your vacation short. The
producers of the movie want to put you in a room with two possible choices for
your co-star to see if you have any chemistry with either of them. Both are
hotties
, girl, so yo
u
might want to double up on your panties.”

“When
and where?” Kara bristled at Linda’s juvenile joking, which, under different
circumstances she would have found somewhat amusing.

“Monday
morning at the Ritz Carlton in New York City.
Yes or no?”

“I’ll
catch a flight out on Sunday evening and meet you at
your office first thing Monday morning.”

“And
that’s why I love representing you, Karan. You’re a people pleaser who always
knows what’s best for you and your career.”

“Is
that it?”

“See
you first thing
Monday morning. Oh yeah, I’m sorry to
hear about your friend and hope everything turns out all right.”

“Bye,
Linda.”

“You’re
going back early.” Disappointment marred Jennifer’s pretty features.

“I’ve
got to help pick out my co-star for the movie apparently
. The producers want to see if I have chemistry with either of their
first two choices.”

“That
sounds really fun. Will there be any kissing involved?”

“Don’t
know and don’t really care right now because neither of them will be Evan.”

“I’m
not going there w
ith you tonight, Kara.” Jennifer
shook her head for emphasis. “I just can’t handle you sobbing on me again like
you did last night. It was heart-wrenching and I can’t stand to see you like
that. So please don’t go there. Not tonight.”

Kara
nodded her acqui
esce, knowing her friend was right
and that crying one’s heart out never solved anything.

“So
how about helping me fix that pitcher of margaritas?” Jennifer gathered up
their uneaten dinners and threw both into the trash. “I don’t know about you,
but I’m r
eally looking forward to getting drunk
tonight.”

Kara
retrieved the ice, alcohol, and margarita mix from the fridge. After Jennifer
poured all the ingredients into the blender, Kara let the concoction whirl
around until the ice cubes were nothing more than
slush. At the very moment she shut off the blender, her phone chirped.

Darting
to the phone, she stared at the words on the screen as relief flooded her body.
She reread them a second time to be certain she hadn’t missed anything.

Not leukemia!
Borderline anemic instead.
Doctors insist it isn’t life-threatening at this point. Relieved beyond words
but completely wiped out from the stress of today and too exhausted to drop by
this evening. Sure you will do fine tomorrow morning.
Will pick you up a
t nine.

“What
does it say?” Jennifer demanded.

She
twisted the phone around so Jennifer could read the text.

“That’s
wonderful news, Kara! I’m so happy for Bethany and Evan.”

“Me
too.”
Kara let loose a pent-up breath of anxiety. All day long she had walke
d around the apartment on pins and needles, and now that
the suspense was over she felt physically and emotionally drained. Taking a
deep breath and slowly letting it out, she said, “I need a tall drink.”

“I
agree.” Jennifer fetched two glasses out of the
cupboard.
She filled the glasses to the brim from the blender.

“To
Bethany’s continued health.”
Jennifer raised her glass in a toast.

Kara
picked up her glass to clink Jennifer’s as she repeated the phrase before
taking a large gulp. Since Bethany was out
of harm’s
way, her thoughts turned to Evan not dropping by to see her this evening. She
wanted to see him. If only for a few minutes to make sure he was doing all
right.

“You
want me to run lines with you since Evan isn’t coming?”

“No
thanks.” Kara took an
other large gulp, wanting
nothing more than to embrace the relaxing properties of the alcohol.

“You
want to watch a movie?”

“Not
really.”

“Do
a run-through of the script’s sexual parts?”

“No.
I want to see Evan. I need to see if he’s all right.”

Jennifer
t
ook Kara’s free hand into hers. Sympathy filled her
eyes. “He hasn’t changed his mind, sweetie, and he won’t. You remember last
night, don’t you? I held you as you cried yourself to sleep in my arms. I don’t
want you going through that again tonight. Let h
im
go. It can’t work out between you two. It just can’t.”

“But
I
love
him,” Kara despaired as all the pain and anguish she
suffered welled up as tears in her eyes.

“I
know. And it breaks my heart to see you like this. But some things are simply
not meant t
o be.”

“Now
I wish you would have never told me what you did with him,” Kara recanted the
proclamation she’d declared to Jennifer several days ago.

“I
do too. It was very irresponsible of me.”

“No
it wasn’t. Not really. I shouldn’t have wanted to do it
too. So actually, it’s really all my fault instead of yours.”

“I
suppose I’ll take your word for it since you’re exactly right in this
instance.” A faint smile curled the corner of Jennifer’s lips. “I still love
you though, if it’s any consolation.”

“It
is
. And I love you too. Now let’s get sloppy drunk
like in the old days when we had so few problems and all the time in the world
to sort them out.”

By
seven o’clock the alcohol had done its job and Kara was no longer tormented by
Evan not coming over, or by
his rejecting her
proposal last night, or by having to go back to her life in New York early. Oh
no, nothing bothered her now as she was passed out on the couch inside
Jennifer’s warm embrace.