Finding Acceptance in His Arms (7 page)

In
spite of this warning, she became powerless to stop from staring at the girl in
the cheval glass. This girl looked to be closer to eighteen years of age
instead of twenty-two. Her abundance of curly
ebony
hair hung well below the outward indentions of her breasts beneath the pink
pajama T-shirt. The sparkling gray eyes staring back at her lent the light
mocha tone of her pretty facial features extra pizzazz.

She
peeled off the long pajama T-shirt to d
rop it on the
floor. Her gaze wandered over her naked body.

She
loved how her breasts were naturally large in relation to her small waistline.
Also, the way the areolas were the size
of fifty cent pieces and nipples the size of thimbles.
The outward swell
of her hips enhanced her hourglass figure and let the dark
hair of her closely trimmed pubis stand out in relief.

Twisting
around in the mirror she saw her buttocks and legs weren’t bad to look at
either. There was no cellulite in evidence. The twin
bubbles
of her buttocks looked firm and toned, as did her thighs and calves.

She
began striking model poses. The stark beauty contained in the exaggerated
posturing of her body declared how glamorous and sexy she’d look on movie
posters plastered up on the
walls of every adult
store in America. The desire for fame and sexual recognition surged upward into
her conscious being.

In
a slow, methodical, fevered trance she retrieved the silicone lube and the
three graduated sized
buttplugs
from atop the nightstan
d beside the bed. She then went into the bathroom to draw a
pan of steaming hot water.

One
by one, she dropped the plugs and the bottle of lube into the water. She
carried the pan into the bedroom where she placed it atop the nightstand within
easy reach f
rom the bed. She pulled out the
nightstand’s lone drawer to withdraw her favorite sex toy from the horde
within. It was a pink lipstick-sized vibrator commonly called a pocket rocket.

With
thrills of excitement coursing through her veins, she twisted the v
ibrator on. It buzzed like a swarm of friendly bees. She
lay down on the bed with her knees bent and splayed wide apart. The blurring
tip proved delicious to her taut nipples. The placement of it on her clit
quickly followed. She opened her mouth to let lo
ose a
silent coo as she ground her hips along with the ecstasy threatening to consume
her.

Forcing
herself to withdraw the tip from her clit before it became too pleasurable to
stop,
she found the bottle of silicone lube
warmed by the water. She squirted a
generous amount
of the greasy substance onto the fingers of her left hand. The application of
the lube onto and into her anus became a time-consuming process with her slowly
working upward from a lone forefinger through the first two sizes of plugs. Only
one challenge awaited her now.

She
drew forth the largest plug from the hot water, staring in awe at its thick
circumference while thinking it looked way too big for her. Despite this, she
found it felt pleasingly hot as she began working it into her ass.

Through
controlling her breathing and making her lower body remain completely relaxed,
she experienced no pain, only a tremendous stretching sensation. Then, right
when she thought the ring of sphincter muscle couldn’t be stretched any
further, the plug wa
s suddenly sucked up into her
butt.

She
let loose a surprised gasp. A gentle moan followed as the plug settled
comfortably into place. It teased the delicate nerve endings inside her anal
canal to no end. She quickly decided she liked this enormous alien o
bject inside her body. It felt like it had always meant to
be there.

In
a short time she succumbed totally to the eroticism of her experimentation. She
picked up the buzzing vibrator she’d discarded earlier to once again press
against her clit.

An
intense,
building pleasure took control of her body.
She began trembling all over as she thrust her pulsating clit violently against
the vibrator’s reverberations. In less than a minute she covered her panting
mouth with her free hand in an attempt to hold in the
impending,
piercing scream. This tactic failed miserably as her whole body began writhing
under a prolonged, glorious orgasm.

Floating
high on a cloud of bliss and no longer possessing the energy to move, she lay
there listening to the buzzing vibrator, ha
ving once
again temporarily quenched her desperate sexual wantonness.

But
unfortunately, she’d found what goes up must always come back down.

And
as she came back to the reality of her situation, the thought of entering the
porn industry became frightening
to her. She knew if
she ever took that path her career in New York would be over. None of her peers
would want anything else to do with her. She promised herself she would not
permit any more lapses on the subject. Her future lay in New York, not in Atlan
ta, and certainly not in the porn industry.

Later
in the afternoon she described her day in detail to Jennifer, including her
experience with the largest plug. Proud of her accomplishment, she was not able
to hide her enthusiasm at having achieved the amaz
ing
feat.

“So
it really fit?” Jennifer sat across from Kara at the kitchen table sipping
wine. She shook her head, smiling. “You have one very unique asshole, girl. But
then, you could always take whatever us girls wanted to shove up it.”

“Yeah,
I’m just l
ucky like that.” Kara took a sip of wine
while trying her best to stave off an embarrassing memory involving their old
friends.

Jennifer
took another sip of wine before saying, “Speaking of which, I ran into Mercedes
today. She asked about you. I wish your
situation
didn’t prevent me from telling her and the old gang that you’re back in town.
They would like to see you.”

“You
promised, Jennifer.” She knew better than to show the least inclination of
wanting to see their old friends because that road would o
nly lead her into emotional turmoil.

“Don’t
worry.” Jennifer raised her hands in a defensive gesture. “I didn’t tell her
you were here. I only said I’d heard from you and that you were doing well,
though really busy with work. She said to tell you hello.”

“Whatever.”
Kara studied the fire engine red nail polish on her freshly manicured nails
(another accomplishment of the day). The color would match the red sundress she
had picked out for tonight perfectly.

“I
don’t get why you don’t want to see them anymor
e,”
Jennifer prompted. “They really miss you.”

“I
bet they do.” She continued to feign disinterest.

Jennifer
furrowed her brow, taking another sip of wine. “I also don’t understand you
thinking they
always
disrespected you in the past. I was
there with you
. Remember? I don’t recall seeing
anything of the nature ever happening except for that one time.”

“Let
it go, Jennifer.” Kara winced. “If you hadn’t noticed, things have changed for
me since I reinvented myself. I’m never going back to being that
insecure
little lesbian
ever again. Evan doesn’t make fun of
any unnatural thing that turns me on. I’ve even told him about liking you
pissing on me.”

“Why
are you bringing him and
that
up?”

“No
reason at all, except to let you know he always treats me with respec
t. Not like Mercedes and the rest of those girls always
putting me down so they could feel better about themselves.”

“Hey
now, every one of them stopped and apologized for disrespecting you that
one
time.
They meant no real harm, only thought it was a cont
inuation
of the game.”

Kara
stared Jennifer straight in the eyes. “They stopped and apologized only because
we threatened to whip their sorry asses if they didn’t. Anyone would have known
the game was over after I came. They deliberately kept going for the
ir own petty gratification.”

Jennifer
threw up her hands. “Why can’t you let that night go? I’m telling you, they
just didn’t know any better.”

“Maybe.”
She refused to relive that night again.
One time had been more than enough.

“I
promise you that they di
dn’t mean anything by it!”

“You
know something?” Kara drew her feet up into her chair to examine her freshly
painted toenails. “On the night I first met Evan, he promised me that he would
never make fun of me for anything I like to do sexually. He proved i
t to me last night when he didn’t make any judgments about
me wearing my anal plug. The girls would have made a very big deal about it.
Like them not wanting to wear one somehow makes them better than me.”

“Okay,
Kara, you don’t have to believe me if you d
on’t want
to.” Jennifer pouted. “I won’t bring up the subject of getting back together
with them ever again. I’m very sorry for taking you back down that road.”

“Thank
you!” She swilled the rest of her wine. “Now I have to go get ready for my date
with Eva
n.”

An
hour later, Kara and Jennifer traded a tentative hug before she stepped out the
door to thread her left hand inside the crook of Evan’s right arm.

Chapter Five

“So
what’s going on with you tonight? You don’t seem yourself.”

Kara
shrugged at
Evan from across the same table where
they’d eaten hot dogs the evening before. This time he’d bought them grilled
cheese sandwiches. She’d barely touched hers.

“Come
on, Kara.” He wiped his mouth with a napkin before placing an elbow on the
table to rest
his chin on the palm of his hand. “Tell
me what’s wrong. I don’t like this emotional disconnect between us. It seems
weird to me after feeling so close to you last night.”

After
glancing around at the other patrons of the sidewalk café, she sighed. “Jennif
er and I had a disagreement this afternoon. It was about
something that happened in the past with our old clique of girlfriends.”

“And…”

“Now
I’m ashamed of how I let them treat me back then.” She looked down at her lap,
biding for time, not wanting to rev
eal how little
self-respect she used to possess.

“Go
on,” he gently prodded.

She
toyed with the napkin she’d laid over her grilled cheese to hide her lack of
appetite. “Back in the old days on Wednesday nights Jennifer, I, and three
other girls used to all
get together for what we’d
aptly dubbed Sexual Wednesday Night. In all honesty, it was just an excuse to
drink, gossip, and make fun of men before we all got down and dirty together.

“Anyway,
on this one particular Wednesday night the subject turned to th
e telling of sexual fantasies. One of the girls suggested
we turn it into a game. The rules were simple—the most exciting fantasy of the
evening would be reenacted to the best of our collective abilities for the
person relating it. Of course, all the other
girls’
fantasies were normal and pretty boring. You know the kind, two women inveigle
a third into a ménage trio, sex with a stranger. I’ve forgotten what all they
were. Anyway, when it came my turn to tell, I related a dream I’d had about
being tied up a
nd made to eat all these different
women’s pussies while they called me dirty names. Afterward, when we voted and
my fantasy won, I was quickly tied up and made to lie on the floor like in my
dream.”

Kara
paused to glance up at Evan. His gaze was glued to
her
face. She lowered her head and hid her face behind her hands.

“I
can’t for the life of me fathom why I thought it was a good idea to reveal a
real fantasy. I remember loving the helplessness of being tied up for real and
given orders as they all took t
urns grinding their
pussies on my face. It was really hot. But afterward, once I’d gotten them all
off and Jennifer got me off, they didn’t want to stop treating me like I was
their bitch. Jennifer and I had to threaten to whip their asses to make them sto
p. Why couldn’t they have just stopped on their own? Anyone
in their right mind would have realized the game came to a conclusion as soon
as I reached orgasm.”

When
Evan made no immediate reply, she peeped through her fingers to see his
expression had beco
me extremely dark. She took this
as a sign to continue her narrative.

“The
disagreement between Jennifer and I stems from her trying to convince me to get
back together with them because she thinks the girls meant nothing by it. But I
know differently. Ano
ther thing, out of all of them,
I am the only one with an anal fetish. They’ve always slyly put me down for it.
Sometimes, I hate myself for being turned on by all that I am and really wish I
had normal sexual desires so I wouldn’t be so different from eve
ryone else.”

“Don’t
ever wish that.” Evan shook his head. “People with normal sexual desires will
never know the tremendous heights of experiencing a vulnerable orgasm. And the
reason for this is they won’t ever let anyone have that much control over them.
Of course, they’ll tout themselves as being kinky to
prospective sex partners but then insist on having a safe word and several code
words to make sure the power never really leaves their hands. The old guard
BDSMers
call it ‘topping from the bottom’ and
it’s all the rage these days.”

He
gave up a wan smile before continuing, “So don’t be generic like them. Stay
true to yourself to get exactly what you want out of your sex life. Besides,
they probably only treated you badly because they were jealous of you
having the courage to embrace who you are as a sexually
mature woman. I’ve found most people are afflicted by that kind of jealousy.”

“Until
they treated me like that, I thought they really were my friends.”

“I
completely understand what you’re saying.” E
van
nodded. “After they revealed their true selves you felt deceived by them. And
nothing is worse than being deceived by someone who you believe is your
friend.”

“Yes.”
She nodded back. “That’s the worst feeling ever. And now that you’ve mentioned
it, I t
hink you might be right in thinking that I was
too sexually mature for them. They certainly didn’t understand my wanting to be
humiliated in sexual situations or my anal fetish.”

“Then
do yourself a favor and don’t get back together with them, no matter
how much Jennifer tries to get you to. If they didn’t
accept you as you were back then they certainly won’t accept you now. Not
everyone has the ability to accept sexual anomalies in people. And those kinds
of self-righteous individuals usually wax worse i
n
their prejudices as they get older.”

“Thank
you for listening and understanding.”

Evan
shrugged, and then presented her with a charming smile. “Don’t give it another
thought. I think you just needed someone to see it from your perspective.
Jennifer can’t
see it like you do because it didn’t
happen to her. She still stood up with you against them though. She’s obviously
a good friend, so don’t judge her too harshly. She just doesn’t understand
where you’re coming from.”

“Okay.”

“Now
do yourself another fav
or. Call Jennifer right now
and tell her exactly what you just told me. I’ve found her to be a very
intelligent woman. Maybe this time she’ll understand where you’re coming from
after you explain it from your prospective. Then, once you get your emotional
equilibrium back—because misunderstandings between best
friends can affect such things—we can get back to our date.”

Jennifer
picked up on the third ring.

“I’m
sorry,” Kara blurted into the phone.

“I’m
sorry too,” Jennifer’s voice cracked.

And
from there,
what should have been only a five-minute
conversation turned into fifteen minutes. Never once did Evan appear impatient
or bored with having to sit idly by for them to get it all talked out.

The
moment Kara ended the call she beamed her gratitude onto him.
“Thank you again for being a true friend to me.”

“Feel
better now?”

“Yes.
We’re finally on the same page about the incident, although I don’t think she
sees it entirely from my perspective. She thinks the amount of alcohol we all
drank is mostly to blame.
I also think she really
misses Sexual Wednesday Nights. After the incident, I refused to participate
any longer.”

Evan’s
countenance brightened. He chuckled. “Well, I can’t really blame her. Because
who wouldn't miss attending a weekly orgy once they dipp
ed their tongues in that kind of debauchery? I, for one, would not, could
not, go back to normal Wednesday night after experiencing such a thing. Now I
have two questions I need answered. Where exactly do these girls congregate?
And do I bring my own bottl
e or is the liquor
provided free of charge? You and I will definitely not be going out tomorrow
night after all.”

“Ha!
They’d eat you alive, and definitely not in a good way. They believe if women
ruled the world then peace would reign supreme, poverty wou
ld no longer exist, and everyone would receive the same
opportunities in life.”

Evan
raised his eyebrows, cleared his throat,
then
abruptly straightened up in his chair. “I want to take you
somewhere and introduce you to something you might appreciate.”

“Okay.
So where are we going and what exactly do you want to introduce me to?”

Excitement
danced in his eyes. “It’s a surprise so you’ll have to wait and see. All you
need to know right now is there’s absolutely no danger for you in where we’re
going. No o
ne will touch you in a sexual manner or
accost you in any way. And if all goes well, then you and I will go out again
tomorrow night. I’m finding I really enjoy spending time with you.”

“Okay.”

A
short cab ride later to an ordinary apartment building and u
p three floors in an elevator, Kara let Evan escort her
down a hallway to knock on an apartment door numbered 310. She held onto his
hand, impatient to see whatever he was going to show her.

After
a short pause the door opened. A young nude woman of Asian
and African descent, who wore only a rhinestone slave
collar, greeted them with a deep bow. “Hello Mr. Lars and esteemed other
person. Please do come in. You are both honored guests here.”

Kara
did a double-take, almost not believing the sight before her e
yes.

She
looked to Evan for emotional support. He didn’t acknowledge the slave woman in
any way, shape, or form as he stepped over the threshold, physically pulling
Kara along behind him. She followed his example by tearing her gaze away from
the slave to
hold her head up high as if she were
also oblivious to the injustice of human servitude.

She
let herself be led past a kitchenette of stainless steel appliances into the
living room. She glanced about in hopes of restoring faith in that she hadn’t
stepped
into some alternative dimension. But like the
real-life slave, this room resembled something out of an erotic novel or movie.

Rich
hardwood floors complemented the crimson-colored walls. In the center of the
room an oriental rug acted as a focal point und
erneath
a crystal chandelier. Erotic sculptures sat on the end tables bordering the
antique leather sofa, loveseat, and matching armchair. Explicit erotic
paintings of women in submissive poses lined the walls. A mini-bar rested
against the back wall next
to a short hallway that
she presumed must lead to a dungeon playroom. Because every BDSM freak had a
playroom, didn’t they?

Why
yes, she was absolutely certain they did.

The
slave hurried around in front of them to graciously indicate the sofa. “Would
you
like to have a seat and a drink while Master
finishes his shower, Mr. Lars?”

“Yes,
I’ll have a seat but please leave off the drink for the time being.” He
released Kara’s hand to continue forward into the room and sit down in the
middle of the sofa.

With
E
van releasing her hand, a subtle disconnection took
place between them. She didn’t like this loss of security and thought it
paramount to reestablish the connection. She made it as far as the sofa when
the slave grabbed her by the wrist and shook her head
the
moment she attempted to sit down.

“Excuse
me?” She looked the slave in the face and then turned her eyes onto the hand
grasping her wrist.

The
slave whispered, “Even esteemed other persons sit on the floor here. Only the
Masters are allowed to sit on
the furniture. It is
the natural order of the hierarchy and you must abide or I will have to ask you
to wait in the hall until Mr. Lars concludes his business with Master.”

Shocked
by the implications behind the woman’s words, Kara immediately looked to Ev
an for him to negate the natural order of the hierarchy for
her. He only stared back from the sofa, obviously waiting to see what she was
going to do.

“I
will sit on the floor,” she conceded. The turmoil of emotions she was
experiencing threatened to overw
helm her. She tried
her best to believe this was only a roleplaying game and there would be no
long-term psychological consequences for her.