Find You in the Dark (8 page)

 
My stomach buzzed again.  “I'm just...I don't know...bored, I guess.  Everything, every day is the same.  It gets tedious.”  I made a face and Clay laughed.  “I don't know.  I could use a little monotony in my life.  Spontaneity is exhausting.”  He gave me another little splash and I looked at him in warning.

 
He laughed, a deep sound that made my breath hitch.  “You don't have fun with your friends?  I mean, I see you hanging around with some people.  You always seem to be laughing and having a good time when you're with them.”  Clay said.

 
He had just admitted that he watched me.  OH MY GOD!  I wanted to do a little tap dance, I was so happy.  I looked at him and he ducked his head shyly, as if he realized what he had just admitted.  God, I wanted to touch him so badly but didn't know if I should. 

  “
I love my friends.  I've known Danny and Rachel my entire life.  Our mothers were best friends growing up.  But even that seems a little trite.”  Clay raised his eyebrow at me.  “Trite?”  I nodded, swimming closer to the shore so I could sit down on the dirt floor of the river, the water lapping at my chin and keeping me warm from the quickly cooling air.

  “
Well, you know, our parents were best friends so of course we're best friends.  And we have this vanilla life with vanilla conversations and the occasional vanilla party on the weekends.  Nothing crazy.  Nothing to rock the boat.  I feel like I've been doing the same thing for so long I don't know how to be anything different.  Like I said, I'm just so bored.  And anytime I try to talk to Rach or Danny about it, I just don't think they hear me.  I mean.  I feel almost...depressed with it all.  I want to feel energized,
passionate
about something.  Anything.”

 
Or
someone
.  I thought to myself, looking at Clay who still tread water a few feet away from me.  I had said more to him about my feelings than I had to anyone in a very long time.  And Clay didn't look at me like I was crazy.  In fact he seemed to take my words very seriously.  And I swear it was in that moment that I began to fall in love with him.

 
The way he listened to me and actually heard me.  And what I was saying wasn't stupid.  At least not to him.  He only nodded.  “I understand.  I do.  But trust me, you are anything but boring.”  I harrumphed, not believing him.

  “
Yeah, I'm so interesting.  Maggie Young, with her happily married parents and her average A minus GPA, average afterschool activities, talking about average topics everyday with her average friends.  How can that
not
be boring?” I blew air out of my nose in frustration.  How could I think I had anything to offer this interesting and amazing guy?  I was seriously deluded.

 
Clay swam over to me and sat beside me.  Our arms brushed under the water and then stayed like that, touching, like even our skin couldn't get enough of each other.

  “
Maggie.  What you just described to me sounds perfect.”  I rolled my eyes and Clay grabbed my hand.  “No, listen to me.  You are beautiful and smart and you have this fantastic life all laid out in front of you.  You are kind and open minded, plus you're sarcastic and sexy as hell.”  I couldn't help but smile at the girl he was describing.  Me, sexy?  I had never thought of myself that way.

  “
I would give anything to have what you have.  Parents and friends who love you.  Knowing you have that kind of unconditional love is unbelievable.  You don't understand how lucky you are.”  He sounded sad and I leaned into his shoulder.  “And you don't have that, Clay?”  I asked him softly.

 
Clay looked down at me with his deep, dark eyes and all I saw was this aching loneliness that tore at my heart.  I knew without him having to answer me that his life had been a hard one. And that whatever was going on with him had forced him to create this giant wall that effectively kept everyone at a distance.    As though he couldn't handle any more personal admissions, Clay suddenly dove back into the water, shutting the door on our confidences. 

 
I was more than a little disappointed.  I felt like I was just starting to understand him a little bit and then he had to go and throw the wall back up.  But before I could pout or get in a huff, Clay pulled me by my ankle back into the water, starting our water fight all over again.  And after a few moments of his playfulness, I had forgotten why I was irritated.

 
We must have been there for awhile, because I suddenly realized it was getting dark and the air had started to cool.  Without thinking about the fact that I was only in my bra and underwear, I got out of the water and went to my cell phone, where I had left it on a tree stump.  “Crap, it's 6:30. I've got to get home.” 

 
Now that I was out of the water, I was freezing.  And like idiots, we didn't have towels.  I heard Clay get out of the water.  I didn't want to look at him, feeling suddenly embarrassed by the fact that I was practically naked in front of him.  I gathered my clothes and held them to my chest. 

 
Suddenly, I felt Clay's hands on my arms, as he rubbed them up and down to try and generate some warmth.  I turned around and looked up at him.  Something flashed in his eyes and I felt like there was a definite moment going on.  We had been slowly building toward this all day and I knew that something was about to happen.

 
He moved toward me and his hands stopped, but stayed on my bare skin.  Slowly, he pushed my wet bangs out of my face and looked at me with the most intense expression I had ever seen.  I felt rooted to the spot, thinking only of how close our bodies were.  He wanted to kiss me.  I could tell.  His eyes fell to my mouth as I nervously licked my lips. 

 
His expression seemed to heat up and he ran the ball of his thumb along the curve of my bottom lip.  The pull between us was tightening and I felt sucked into his orbit. 

 
Then my phone rang. 

 
Talk about a mood kill.

  “
Sorry.” I murmured, looking down at the display and seeing my mom's number.  I hurriedly answered it.  “Hey, Mom.”  I looked at Clay, but he had moved away and was putting on his jeans.  “Where are you, Maggie?  We've had dinner waiting for almost forty-five minutes.” 

 
I couldn't help but stare as Clay pulled his shirt over his head, his stomach muscles taut.  My mouth went dry and i had a hard time swallowing.  “Maggie!”  My mom said tersely on the other end and I realized I hadn't answered her.  “Sorry, Mom.  I met up with a friend.  I have to get my car from the school and then I'll be home.”  I told her.  I prayed my mom would be cool and save the thousand questions for when I got home.

 
No such luck.  “Friend?  What friend?”  She asked.  I walked a bit away and dropped my voice.  “Clay Reed.  I was just showing him around town.”  I said quietly into the phone.  I heard my mom tapping her fingers on something on the other end.  Great, she was pissed.  “I don't like the idea of you out with some boy we don't know.  I'd like to meet him.  Particularly if you're going to be going out with him.”

 
I tried to not groan into the phone.  “We're just friends, Mom.  Not a big deal.”  I tried placating.  Well, my mom wasn't having it.  “Well, regardless.  You know how we feel about you getting into cars with boys we don't know.  I want to meet him.”  She was going to be unyielding about this.  Just fan-fucking-tastic.

  “
Fine.” I said curtly.  I heard my mom sigh.  She knew she had made me mad.  “We just worry. It's a scary, scary world out there for a girl.”  I didn't say anything.  “Just get home.  But be safe.  We'll talk when you get here.”  My mom said and then hung up.

 
I turned around and saw Clay standing there, looking at me.  “Your mom?”  He asked.  I nodded and realized I was still in my bra and panties.  If my mom could see me now, she'd have a heart attack.  I tried to discreetly slide into my skirt and I noticed Clay respectfully look away. 

 
After I was dressed he and I walked back to his car.  I rang my hair out but shivered as water made it's way down my back. Clay reached over and pulled my heavy, wet hair over my shoulder, his fingers skimming the back of my neck. 

   “
Was she mad you weren't home yet?”  He asked after we had gotten in and were backing out of the field.  “She's just majorly over protective.”  I said, watching him change the gears on the gear shift.  There was something seriously sexy about his hands.  

  “
Understandable.  I'd be over protective too if you were my daughter.”  He smirked at me and I smirked back.  Okay, how to broach the subject that they wanted to meet him, without sounding incredibly lame?

  “
Well, um, Clay.  They sort of want to meet you.”  Clay cocked his eyebrow and gave me a quick look.  “Okay.”  He said slowly.  I hurried on. “It's just they're weird about me being in cars with guys.  And I told her we're just friends, but she still wants to meet you and I promise you it'll be cool.  It's just that they want to make sure you're not a serial killer or anything.”  I was rambling to try and cover my complete mortification.

 
Clay reached over and squeezed the hand that sat clenched in my lap.  “Mags. It's okay. I understand. I want them to be cool with us hanging out.  I'll meet them.”  He assured me.  I let out a breath and sighed with relief.  He made me feel like less of a tool, and I appreciated that. 

  “
Thanks.”  I said quietly.  Clay smiled.  “No, thank you, Maggie.  For today. I can't remember the last time I had so much fun.”  I felt warm at his compliment.  He took a deep breath.  “The last few months have been really tough and sometimes I forget that it's okay to let loose and just live life, you know.  I have a feeling, you'll be really good for me.”  The look he gave me made me tingle to my toes. 

  “
I hope so.”  I said.  Clay gave me a coy smile.  “Oh, I know so.”  He replied.

                                              
Chapter Five

 
If I could have cut off my legs, I would have.  Every muscle from the waist down ached and I couldn't suppress the groan as I sat down at my usual lunch table.  Rachel looked up from her phone and tried to hide the smile on her face. 

  “
What?” I growled, slowly swinging my legs around as I situated myself oh, so carefully.  Rachel spooned some pudding into her mouth and shook her head.  “Nothing.”  She mumbled around her food.  I glared at her.  Daniel wasn't so discrete.  “Why are you moving like an old lady, Mags?  You look ridiculous.”  I picked up a potato chip and chucked it at him.

  “
Coach Kline made me run this morning because I didn't show up for practice a couple of days this week.  He was kind of pissed.”  I leaned down and rubbed my calf muscles, trying to alleviate the burning sensation.

 
I understood why Coach was mad.  I was his star runner and I had disappointed him.  We had our first meet coming up on Friday and I had blown off practice three times this week.  I felt guilty for shirking on my responsibility.  But, I couldn't regret using the time to get to know Clay instead. 

 
We had gone “exploring” a few more times.  We had gone hiking at Crooked Run National Park, played mini golf in Warminster and seen a movie at the IMAX theater in Charlottesville.  I loved spending time with Clay.  For the first time, my life felt interesting, exhilarating even. 

 
I found myself doing things and trying things that I never would have done before.  Like eating Thai food and watching a foreign movie with subtitles.  Okay, that may not seem like a lot...but I would never have thought to do any of that stuff until Clay came along. 

   “
You blew off practice?  Seriously?”  Daniel asked incredulously.  Rachel looked out the window behind her.  “Is it snowing?”  She asked in mock surprise.  “Hardee, har, har, you two.”  I got what they were saying.  Me doing something outside of my norm was unheard of.  I went along, doing my thing, not deviating.  Which is why until three weeks ago, I was hopelessly and utterly bored. 

 
Now...well, I looked forward to getting out of bed. 

  “
Where the heck have you been slinking off to then?”  Daniel seemed really confused by this.  I understood his surprise.  Typically if I wasn't at a) school, or b) home, I was with he and Rachel.  Me developing a life outside of them was just weird.  Like the earth had been thrown off of it's axis.

  “
Well, I...” I started, but was cut off by a voice behind me.  “Mind if I sit with you guys?”  I turned around- (very carefully of course, sore muscles here-) and saw Clay standing there with his lunch tray.  He gave me a small smile, his eyes flicking to Rachel and Daniel. 

 
This was the first time I had seen him in the cafeteria since the Paul Delawder incident.  I quickly looked at my friends.  Rachel had her mouth hanging open and Daniel was frowning.  Neither of them spoke.  Geesh.  Rude much?

 
I pulled out the chair beside me.  “Have a seat.”  Clay sat down and put his tray on the table.  He looked at me.  Just like every time our eyes met, I felt my face flush.  I swallowed and then turned to Rachel and Daniel.  “Rachel, Daniel, this is Clay.  Clay these are my friends Rachel Bradfield and Daniel Lowe.”  Clay gave them a shy smile.  “Hey.”