Fiendish: A Twisted Fairytale (66 page)

“Most times the music that filled the house was very melancholy in nature unless she was giving me lessons, or if he had done some arbitrary nicety. As I got older and needed her less, she found herself alone more because he was either busy with work or one of the maids. Her music got sadder and darker. I would come back for visits on break and would see the dus
t that had settled on her piano, she wouldn’t play while I was gone. The maids were not allowed in that room, and he allowed her that space. It was hers; the one thing he did respect.” He gave a slow exhale, but still refused to look at me. “You’ve been lying to me.”  

“Will you please let me explain?” I asked, resting my head on his shoulder. When he didn
’t respond, I took a deep breath then continued, “When you left me after our argument over Patrick, I didn’t take it well. It was hard on me you know that, but what you don’t know is the stress…well it messed with my hormones. Long story short I thought I was pregnant.” I looked up at Seth to see his reaction, his jaw was clenched tightly and those eyes of his stared at me intensely. “I wasn’t. I promise you. I took a test, three actually, and all were negative.”  I paused, scooting back from him a little. “Anyway, after that scare, I decided to get the prescription I was given filled. When…when I went for my check up, the doctor wrote me one just in case, and with the slip ups we’d had, I just needed…I’m sorry for not telling you but…”

“But you rather keep secrets,” he said, getting up from the bench suddenly.

“It wasn’t like that, Seth. You don’t understand.”

“I don
’t understand?” he shouted. “I do understand. I understand you lied to me, and have been lying to me for months. I told you I would take care of things, but you felt it was better to ignore what I said and disobey me!”

***

Calida scrambled to her feet as I approached her.

“Seth, please listen to me,” she cried, putting her arms out in an attempt to stop me.

“Listen to you? How do you expect me to believe anything you have to say right now?”

“I know you are mad at me for lying, but please understand it was a precaution, just a back up to make sure…”

“To make sure what, Calida?” I asked, grabbing ahold of her.

Fear was etched on her face and tears streamed down her cheeks.

“Answer me!” I yelled, shaking her.

“I was scared!” she screamed. “I was scared of getting pregnant. I was scared of how you would react that you would…”

“That I would what?” I asked, pushing her against the wall.

She shook her head
, not wanting to keep going.

“Answer the
fucking
question, Calida!”

She looked at me with sadness in her eyes. The tears she cried today didn
’t move me like the others.

She lied to you.
She had lied, every day, for months.
That is unacceptable, she must be punished
. I looked at her, admiring the beauty of her sadness. She flinched when my hands came up to her face. My thumbs wiped the tears from her cheeks before slowly moving down to rest lightly around her neck.

It would be so easy to squeeze
. Leaning down, I rested my forehead on hers, stroking the length of her neck with my thumbs.
Squeeze!

I took a deep breath, fighting against the urge that was quickly overtaking me. “You are testing my patience, my Pet,
” I whispered.

Her eyes closed, and silent tears streamed down her face. She took a s
tuttered breath before talking. “I was scared,” she whispered. “I was scared that you would be angry. That you wouldn’t want our baby, that you would want me to…” She choked on the word, unable to say it out loud. “And…and I couldn’t be faced with that reality. Not again,” she added softly.

I let her go then, stepping back
, putting space between us. Calida wrapped her arms tightly around her body, she was trembling. I picked her up and carried her over to the couch.

“Tell me,” I whispered, stroking her hair tenderly.

She cried quietly into my chest for a little while, and I held her, comforting her, as she composed herself. After a few minutes, the cries became sniffles. She kept her head on my shoulder as she began to speak.

***

“It wasn’t planned. I was on the pill, but had been sick with an ear infection. What I didn’t know at the time was that some antibiotics can interfere with birth control. It’s rare and depends on your body chemistry and generally may affect only one percent of all women taking both at the same time. My…my doctor later explained to me. I was in that one percent,” I said, hesitating before continuing. “Anyway, we hadn’t had sex in about two or three months, and normally I tried to insist on him also using a condom because, well, he was a cheater, but he didn’t always, and since it had been a while we didn’t have any in the house.”

I looked up to gauge Seth
’s reaction. He was again clenching his jaw, and even though I suspected continuing my story would anger him, not continuing would anger him more. I placed my head back on his shoulder; it was easier to talk if I didn’t look at him.

“He came home in a really good mood one night. He
’d been out with his friends and had been drinking, but he wasn’t drunk. I’d seen him drunk, and this wasn’t the same. He just seemed really relaxed and happy. Anyhow, he was being all nice he told me how beautiful I was and that he was lucky to have me. He even told me he loved me, which was something he hadn’t said in a year or more.”

Seth
’s arms tightened around me as I told my story. I was sure he’d rather not hear all those details, but I couldn’t help it. I’d kept this story locked away for so long; it just all came pouring out of me once I opened that door. 

“He had been so distant before that night, and I thought that finally maybe things were getting back on track. Needless to say, we had sex. He was patient with me, sweet and loving;
it was different and nice. He didn’t immediately get up to go do other things when he was done, he held me, we talked. It was the best time, at least for me, we had ever shared. However, that night was a fluke, a byproduct of him not only drinking, but also having something other than a cigarette to smoke. Afterwards, he started staying out later, claiming it was work, but I felt like he was avoiding me, almost as…as if he was ashamed he’d slept with me that night. Fast forward six weeks. The day I told him I was pregnant didn’t go well.”

I stopped
, recalling the look on Paul’s face that day. Fresh tears welled up in my eyes. Seth’s fingers lightly caressed my arm, encouraging me to continue. 

“First
, he accused me of lying because I was on the pill. When I explained to him what my doctor explained to me about the antibiotics, he was pissed. I sat on the couch as he ranted, trying to figure out how we would make it work. Then he said the word. I didn’t think he was serious, but then he kept talking about us not having the money and the strain it would be on us to have a baby so young. I had to admit what he said made sense, but people did it every day. I thought we could make it work somehow, but he was so adamant. So…so angry. Then he made me feel bad about him being held back, stating a baby right now would have a negative impact on our future, and that we had plenty of time to have children. I tried to convince him otherwise, but two weeks after finding out I was pregnant, I was sitting in stir-ups…He didn’t even come in the room with me.” 

I stopped unable to control my voice as I cried over the memory
of that day, the cold, sterile room, and the nurse’s words of comfort that sounded more rehearsed than genuine. The sound of that machine they’d used haunted me for months. I cried harder feeling that sense of loss all over again. Seth held me, not saying anything. His hand caressed my back, comforting me until I could pull myself together.

“Afterwards
, he drove me home, put me to bed, and told me I made the right decision then left. Something came up at the office he said. He didn’t come back until the next morning. It was about a week later when I walked in on them having sex on my couch. Two months or so after that, I saw them on the street, and she was pregnant. She looked to be about as far along as I would have been. That’s when I made the decision to move. I couldn’t live there with the memory of that and run the chance of seeing them as the happy family.”

I finished my story and sat listening to the steady thump of Seth
’s heartbeat, waiting on him to say something. The longer the silence dragged on the more uneasy I became. I eased myself out of his arms, and moved to the other end of the sofa.

“Will you say so
mething please?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

“Would you do it again?”

“Once was enough. It still bothers me, so there is no way I would again. Which is the reason for the pills,” I added softly.

“No,” he said, turning to face me. “If you could go back to that moment, when you made that decision
for him
, would you do it again?”

“Oh, no,” I replied, shaking my head to emphasize my point. “I wouldn
’t. It would have been hard, but I would have opted instead to become a single mother.”

Seth got quiet again
. I could tell he was still angry about me lying, but I hoped at least he understood my reason for doing so.

“Seth,” I said, crawling towards him.
I linked my arm through his and rested my head on his shoulder. Hoping, needing, to get back some of the comfort he’d offered me earlier. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but it is something that is still really hard for me. I’ve never talked about it.
Ever
. Not even to Macy. I tried to put it behind me and move on, and I was okay until the pregnancy scare. I just didn’t want to find myself facing that kind of rejection again.”

Seth pulled away from me and got up off the couch. He started pacing around the roo
m. I sat silently watching him, waiting, and wondering if he would have asked the same of me.

“Who am I?” he asked, giving me a fiery look that made a shiver run down my spine.

“Seth,” I responded, not understanding why he asked that.

He kneeled down in front of me
, pulling on my legs, yanking me off the couch onto the floor. I landed hard on my ass, but had no time to recover from the shock.

“Again.
My name,” he commanded. “The whole damn thing,” he growled, pulling me up so we were face to face.

“Se.
..Seth Damien Jokobi,” I stuttered.

His lips
claimed mine, and he wasted no time forcing his tongue into my mouth. One hand fisted in my hair while the other held me securely by the waist.

“Again,” he said, breaking from the kiss.

My body trembled from the look he gave me. “Seth,” I whispered.

He nibbled little trails down to my neck where he roughly sucked on the flesh there.

“You have made a bad habit of thinking I’m someone I’m not. You need to be reminded of who the hell I am, so you will scream my name until your throat is raw.”

I drew in a ragged breath hearing his words, my stomach clenched with a mixtur
e of fear and excitement. I don’t know how we got to this place, from me telling him my darkest secret to his demand for sex, but somehow it seemed to make sense. It was necessary for both of us in this moment. Kissing was a sacred thing for him, but sex also seemed to be a major form of expression. The buttons on his shirt that I wore went flying when he ripped it open. His teeth lightly clamped down onto my nipple, causing me to cry out.

“My name!” he said, releasing my first nipple, and clamping down harder on the second one.

“Seth!” I screamed as the confusing mixture of pain and pleasure coursed through my body.

My panties were soaked as my body eagerly anticipated what he was about to do to me. Lowering me down to the floor, he unceremoniously removed them by ripping them free from my body. I tried to close my legs to hide my arousal, but he pulled them open more. A devilish smile played on his lips when he saw what I was trying to hide. Slowly
, he slid two fingers up my opening, then leaning forward, he ran his fingers against my lips teasing me until I opened my mouth. Never taking my eyes off of him, I closed my mouth around them, sucking on his fingers as he deliberately moved them in and out of my mouth. Gradually, he removed them then leaned forward, claiming my lips again. He caught my bottom lip between his teeth, tugging on it gently before letting his tongue run across it.

“Mmm,” he moaned softly.

Slowly, he started trailing kisses down my body, leaving me quaking with desire. His lips barely made contact with my aching clit causing me to whimper. 

“Do you want something?” he asked, blowing gently across the throbbing nub.

“Oh, yes, please,” I begged.

“Oh, yes, please…who?” he teased.

“Seth! Please, Seth, Seth, Seth, Seth,” I cried.

His tongue made one circle around my clit, and I was screaming his name as the orgasm ripped through me. But he didn
’t stop. He dipped his head down, running his tongue up my slit, dipping it in and out of me. When he closed his mouth around my clit, sucking on it gently, I saw stars in the back of my eyes from the force of the orgasm. My back arched, and I gripped his hair so tightly I was certain I would rip it out as I screamed out his name.