Feels Like Home (17 page)

It was one thing to suspect she was conceived out of wedlock and quite another to find out she was unwanted. She'd imagined her parents as passionate lovers, unable to keep their hands off each other. It was certainly the picture Daddy had painted. Now she realised she was the product of one sordid night. Unwanted and, if the truth was told, unloved by her mother. She was the cause of her mother's bitterness. Katherine's conservative Catholic upbringing gave her no choice but to carry the child and marry its father.

Jo choked back a sob. Any way she looked at it she came to the same conclusion. Her mother had never wanted her. Katherine resented having to give birth to her and raise her.

As the kettle whistled and clicked itself off Jo took a few deep breaths and used the sleeve of her jumper to dry her eyes — another thing Katherine would not approve of. As hard as it was going to be to walk back into that room and make polite conversation with a woman who wished she didn't exist, she didn't have a choice. No matter how confronting this was, she was responsible for Katherine's health and comfort today. She wasn't sure she could manage to have her for a whole day, as she'd originally planned, but she could make her some more tea and perhaps a sandwich before bundling her back off to the nursing home.

She took two fresh cups from the cupboard above the sink and then remembered the teapot was still in the dining room. Two more deep breaths and then she forced herself to face Katherine once more. ‘I'm a silly billy. I forgot to take the teapot —'

Katherine's chair was empty. Jo's heart began to pound, but she told herself not to panic. Her mother was probably in the bathroom. ‘Katherine?' she called.

No answer.

Jo scuttled down the hallway towards the bathroom. ‘Mum! Are you okay?'

The silence was deafening.

CHAPTER

16

‘Look at me, Daddy.'

Ryan grinned and snapped a shot on his iPhone as Ella trotted past on Tinkerbelle. ‘Well done, pumpkin. You're doing great. Remember, sit tall like a soldier.' He watched her closely as she continued to trot around the exercise yard. Ella had a great seat for someone so young. She was born to ride and had a natural affinity with horses. Even Mack, who could be skittish at times, was gentle as a lamb around Ella. She reminded him a little of Joey when they'd first met. Back then she preferred spending time with her horses rather than with people.

He winced and rubbed his temple. The dull thud in his head — the result of last night's overconsumption — was intensifying by the minute, and thoughts of Jo did nothing to help.

Why the hell had he kissed her like that after promising himself he wouldn't get involved? Sure the booze had loosened his inhibitions, but it wasn't as if he was blind drunk. He shook his head at his own stupidity. Seven years and nothing had changed. He still wanted more from her than she was willing to give. The minute he'd discovered that there was no fiancé, he'd got his hopes up, then, when she'd thrown that ring out the window, he'd thought…well, he'd gotten ahead of himself and started to think they might have a future together. But her confession that she didn't want kids poured cold water all over that idea.

There was no doubting the chemistry between them. Jo was still attracted to him and was clearly happy to engage in some sort of physical affair for the time she was here, but she couldn't offer anything more. She didn't seem to understand that it was more than a roll in the hay to him. Being with her, feeling her soft velvety skin against his, drinking in her sweet vanilla scent, all of those things just made the knowledge that she would leave even more impossible to bear. He wouldn't do it to himself. Not a second time.

He clasped his hands behind his head and craned his neck in an effort to release some tension. Coffee and some painkillers would go down well, but supervising Ella's ride came first. They had to make the most of the break in the weather. The rain had stopped for the moment but by the look of the sky it wouldn't be long before it came down again.

‘Give Tinkerbelle a rest, honey. Let her walk for a couple of laps.'

‘But I love trotting, Dad.'

‘I know. You can have another go in a minute, but I think poor old Tinker is a bit tired.'

‘Okay.' Ella reached down and gave her pony an affectionate pat on the neck. ‘Sorry girl. I was having so much fun I didn't realise you were puffed.'

The smile on Ryan's face disappeared as he realised his mobile phone was ringing. He had heard the clinic phone ringing about five minutes ago but ignored it. He didn't work Sundays unless there was an emergency. The clinic answering machine listed his mobile number, but made it clear that this was for emergency situations only. He glanced at the screen to see who was calling but the number was unfamiliar. Great. Whatever the emergency was, he hoped it didn't take him away from his lazy Sunday with Ella for too long. He answered with a sense of trepidation. ‘Ryan Galloway speaking.'

‘Ryan, oh thank god you picked up.' Jo's voice had an edge of hysteria.

‘Jo? What's wrong?'

‘I've lost Mum,' she sobbed. ‘I'm so sorry. I didn't know who else to call. I tried Steph's place but no one's picking up. Her mobile is going straight to voicemail and I just don't know what to do.'

‘Hey, hey, slow down. I can barely understand you. Tell me what's happened. Where are you?'

‘At home.'

‘At Yarrapinga?'

‘Yes. I brought Mum home for a visit. I only left her alone for a minute and now she's gone. I've looked everywhere but I can't find her. She's just vanished. I don't know what to do. Oh god, Ryan, what if she's in the dam? Or the creek?'

‘First of all stop panicking. That's not going help. How long has she been gone?'

‘I don't know. Fifteen, maybe twenty minutes.'

‘Look she can't have gone far. She'd have to negotiate several fences to get to either the dam or the creek, so I wouldn't worry too much about either of those.'

‘What should I do? Who should I call?'

‘Don't worry. I'll take care of all that. I'll notify the police in Belly. They'll call the SES and organise a search party if they think it's necessary. In the meantime I'll call a few mates to come and give us a hand.'

‘Thank you. I'm just so worried something terrible has happened to her.' She broke into sobs again.

‘It'll be okay, Jo, I'm sure. Just keep looking. I wouldn't mind betting she's still pretty close to the house. I'll be there as soon as I can.'

Jo slid her mobile phone back into her jeans pocket and went back inside the house to get her coat. It was raining again and Katherine was out wandering around in it. They had to find her soon or she'd be soaked through. If she didn't end up in the dam or under a car, she'd end up with hypothermia. How on earth had she let this happen? Her one go at showing she was capable of showing some care for her mother and she'd stuffed up. Maybe fatally.

No.
She wouldn't let her thoughts go there. Talking to Ryan had calmed her enough for her to realise she needed to start thinking clearly if Katherine was to be found. She went back to the last place she'd seen her mother, the dining room. She sat in the chair Katherine had used and looked around. What was her mother looking at before she left? Had something caught her attention?

The dining room adjoined the formal lounge, which opened onto the hallway leading to the front door. Had Katherine slipped out that way? Nobody ever used the front door. To Jo's knowledge it hadn't been opened in years. It was kept locked, but with the key in it in case of fire. She got up and raced to the door. It was closed, but the ‘sausage dog' draught stopper was out of place. She tried the handle and found the door unlocked. Katherine had definitely left the house this way. Jo pulled the door open and walked out onto the front verandah. Her eyes slowly scanned the surrounds, looking for something, anything, that might give a clue to her mother's whereabouts. She took in the white gravel path lined with the heritage roses Katherine had always been so proud of. The path led to an arbour of climbing roses, which framed the front gate. Her father called the arbour ‘Katherine's folly' because it was so much work to maintain and useless in his eyes, but her mother had always insisted that creating a good first impression was essential.

Beyond the gate was the road, and on the other side of that hectares of untamed bush. No matter how calm Jo forced herself to be, how clearly she thought, she wasn't going to work it out. She'd never known what was in Katherine's heart or head, even when they'd shared a home. What hope did she have now? Given her mother's current mental state it was impossible to know what choices she would make.

The sound of a car diverted her train of thought.
Please let it be Ryan
. Seconds later Ryan's Patrol came into sight. She raced around the verandah to the back of the house so he'd see her as soon as he pulled up. As he began to slow the car she waved her arms and he tooted the horn in response. It was only when he came to a complete stop that she realised he wasn't alone. She squinted into the mist. Who was that sitting in the passenger seat?

‘I've got her,' Ryan called as he jumped down from the driver's seat.

‘What? How?' Jo's hand flew to her chest and she ran down the verandah steps. Could it be true? Had Ryan found her mother?

Ryan walked around to the passenger side and held out his hand to help Katherine down out of the four-wheel drive. ‘Easy does it, Mrs Morgan,' he said. ‘Take your time. There's no hurry.'

Jo rushed to her side and threw her arms around her mother, in an uncharacteristically heartfelt embrace. ‘Mum,' she said. ‘I was so worried. I thought something dreadful had happened.'

Katherine's skin was icy, much like her response to Jo's embrace. She did not return the gesture and her body stiffened as Jo pressed herself against her.

‘Mr Galloway,' Katherine said. ‘Who is this woman? Do we know her?'

Ryan smiled his most charming smile. ‘Yes, Mrs Morgan, we do. This is Johanna.'

‘What a coincidence.' Katherine said. ‘I have a daughter called Johanna.'

Jo burst out laughing and crying at the same time.

By the time Jo had finished showering her mother and helping her into some clean, dry clothes, the kitchen was full of volunteers who'd arrived to help with the search. She feared the crowd of unfamiliar faces would be too much for Katherine, but she wasn't letting her out of her sight again. She set her mother up in a chair by the fireplace, where she could still see her from the kitchen doorway.

‘Would you like a cup of tea, Katherine? And a sandwich, perhaps? It's about lunch time.'

‘No tuna. I don't care for tuna.'

Jo smiled. ‘What about tomato and cheese?'

‘Lovely.'

‘Right then. You stay put. I'll be back in just a tick.' Jo didn't take her eyes off Katherine for a moment as she moved to the kitchen entrance.

‘Hey Jo. Glad your mum's okay,' said a bloke whose face she recognised but couldn't quite place.

‘Thanks. Thanks to all of you for coming out to help. I'm so sorry to have spoiled your Sunday.'

‘No worries,' one of the volunteers said. ‘It's what we do when someone needs a hand. We look after our own. You know that.'

Jo nodded and smiled at Ryan, who had found the leftover scones and some biscuits and was now handing them around to go with the cups of coffee he'd apparently made.

Ryan grinned back at her. ‘Good scones, Jo. They're worth coming out for, search or no search.'

‘Ryan, would you do me a favour? Can you sit with Mum for a moment? I need to make her a sandwich and a cup of tea and I don't think she should be left alone. She seems to like you.'

‘Yeah, how about that, eh? Seems I've grown on her. Look, why don't you go sit with her and I'll bring in a sandwich and a cuppa. You look like you could use one yourself.'

‘Tomato and cheese.'

‘Sorry?'

‘Katherine wants tomato and cheese on her sandwich.'

‘Righto.'

Jo cast her eyes around the room and smiled at all the kindhearted souls who'd given up their Sunday afternoon. ‘Thank you all again. My shout at the pub on Friday night.'

The room buzzed with laughter and murmurs of ‘get out of here' and ‘happy to help'.

‘No, I'm serious. I so appreciate you all showing your concern. I'll put a tab on the bar Friday night. Everyone's first drink is on me. But right now I hope you won't think I'm being rude if I spend a little quiet time with my mum.'

Katherine seemed to have suffered no ill effects from her little adventure. In fact she looked a little more like the mother Jo remembered as she sat patiently waiting for her cup of tea, admiring her new clothes, or more accurately her old clothes. They were items Jo had hurriedly retrieved from one of the donation boxes she had packed up earlier in the week.

‘How are you feeling? Are you warm enough?'

‘Yes, thank you. It's lovely and warm in here. Not like our dorms at school. I can't stay much longer I'm afraid. Sister Bernadette gets peeved if any of her girls are out past curfew.'

Jo reached over and patted her arm. Katherine could no longer be held accountable for the sins of the past. There would be no explanations, no pleas for forgiveness, no joyful realisation that there was a gaping hole in Katherine's heart that only Jo could fill. Her mother was gone and only glimpses of her remained, like sepia-toned photographs found in an old shoebox. ‘Don't worry,' Jo said. ‘I promise I'll get you back before curfew.'

CHAPTER

17

Jo checked her phone for messages and missed calls. Nothing. Two days had passed since Ryan had come to her mother's rescue, to
her
rescue, but she'd heard not a word from him since. Her efforts to contact him had gone unrewarded. She'd made the mistake of phoning his home number rather than the mobile, calling early on Monday morning to catch him before he left to take Ella to school. Unfortunately, Beth answered the phone.