Fandango in the Apse! (24 page)

You see, every day in the weeks we had been together, I wondered if that
was the day it would all come tumbling down around my ears.  I worried that I
was too happy.  Robbie and I got on so well, it almost seemed too good to be
true.  Being the contrary cow that I am, I couldn’t just enjoy the moment, I
was preparing for the time when it all came to an end.  That’
s
why I was
so angry with Alison.  She was voicing my fears, while I, given a sniff of
happiness, was ignoring them.

After a sleepless night, I was up early and on my way to see Alison.  I
couldn’t leave things the way they were, I had to apologise.  I was reversing my
car down the drive when she pulled in behind me.  We both got out and stared at
each other for a moment. 

‘I was on my way to see you,’ I said at last.

‘Oh, Katie, I’m so sorry, I had no right to say those things…’

‘No, nor me either, I couldn’t sleep last night… I wanted to ring you,’

‘Oh, come here,’ Alison said, as she pulled me in for a hug. ‘What are we
like, squabbling like a pair of schoolgirls.’

Over tea and muffins, which Alison had brought, she told me how Mark had
torn her off a strip the previous evening.

‘The trouble is, we’ve been friends for so long, you’re more like a
sister to me,' she explained.

            With the crisis over and studiously avoiding any mention of
my relationship with Robbie, we continued working hard to get the shop open. 
We decided on the first of December in order to catch the Christmas trade.  I
worked on the financial side, dealing with the utility companies, getting bank
accounts opened and lines of credit in place with the suppliers Alison had
found.  As well as flowers, we decided to include gifts, cards and trinkets in
our stock.  Mark, a computer whiz, designed a website and then finally, after
an all hands on deck flurry of activity, we were open for business.

            ‘Can you believe it?  We own a business,’ said Alison after
our first week.  ‘People are actually coming in here to buy things from us.’

            ‘Well,’ I reminded her, ‘that was rather the point.’  Alison
rolled her eyes, as she stuffed the takings into a bag to deposit in the bank’s
night safe on the way home.

            ‘Duh! I know that…I suppose I’m just a little in awe of what
we’ve achieved.’

I put my hand round her shoulder and squeezed. ‘I’m only kidding, I know
what you mean.  I was terrified we wouldn’t get a single customer on the first
day.

            The argument was long forgotten and when Alison issued an
invitation  to Christmas lunch, she  included Robbie.  Although he and I now
spent nearly every night together; either at his house or mine, I felt peculiar
about sleeping with him once Sam came home for the festive period.  Sam was
eighteen now and no doubt a man of the world, but you know how it is… kids really
don’t want to be confronted by their parent’s sex life, and I had a feeling all
three of us would feel uncomfortable.  Robbie understood and we agreed to stay
in our own homes. 

            I was amazed at the changes in Sam when I picked him up from
the train station.  Someone had stolen my boy over the previous three months
and replaced him with a grown up version.  He was at least three inches taller
and was now filling out into his full potential.  His boyish face showed signs
of the chiselled features waiting to appear to dazzle the unsuspecting opposite
sex.  With his blond good looks, I suspected many a lovelorn female in the
offing.  My god, I loved my boys so much.

            Christmas morning found us both leaning over the phone
sharing a loudspeaker call with Toby. 

            ‘You should see the shop Tobe, they’ve made a great job of
it,’ Sam was saying.

            ‘A shop and a man, Mum… what’s happening to you?’ Toby
laughed. ‘Seriously though,’ he continued, ‘it’s about time…and with Robbie
too, it certainly took you two long enough.’

            ‘I like to pace myself,’ I kidded.

            ‘Well, so long as you’re happy…’

            ‘I am…’ I admitted.  And I was, I had finally put my fears
behind me and now couldn’t imagine my life without Robbie in it.

            ‘I love you, Mum.’ 

            ‘I love you too, sweetheart.’

            ‘Lurve ya, bro,’ Sam piped up.

            ‘Hey, you too man!’ Toby replied, and then they both laughed
until Toby remembered something.

            ‘Oh, damn, sorry Mum, I meant to say thanks for the dosh.’

            ‘Well, you know how I hate giving money as a present, but I
couldn’t think what else to do.’

            ‘No honestly, it’s always good to have extra spends, Dad and
Ethan sent me some too.’

            ‘And thank you for the beautiful scarf.’ He had sent a surprisingly
well-wrapped, silk scarf he had picked up on his travels.

            ‘You like it?’

            ‘I love it, it’s beautiful… I’m going to wear it today.’

            We finished the call a while later and headed off to Alison’s
in Sam’s Christmas present.  He had passed his driving test the month before
and I had decided to surprise him with a car.  It was second hand, but Robbie had
helped me to choose it, so I was reasonably sure it would provide a few years
of good service.  Sam was beside himself with excitement when he found it after
I had sent him out to the garage for logs first thing.  He had been chomping at
the bit to drive it all morning.

Three days after Christmas, Robbie and I were sitting in his kitchen after
eating an Indian meal.  Sam had left earlier in the day in order to spend New
Year with his friends.

            Robbie was taking a call from his sister, Julie, and by the
sound of it, agreeing to go to Cornwall.

            ‘OK, I’ll ask her, hang on a minute.’  He placed a hand over
the receiver and turned to me.  ‘Seeing as I missed the usual family Christmas
– which now seems to have been a crime – Julie wants us to go down there for
New Year.  What do you think?’

            ‘Both of us?’  Robbie nodded.

            Good grief, Robbie wanted me to meet his family?
‘Umm…well,
if you’re OK with that, then fine, I’d love to go.’

            This was a huge surprise to me. What did it mean?  Was it in
any way significant?  I was still thinking about it when Robbie hung up.

            ‘You know, you’d swear I’d killed a puppy instead of just
missing one Christmas,’ Robbie said, as he started clearing the dishes from the
table.

‘Oh dear, are they blaming me?’ I asked, while taking the rinsed plates
from him and placing them in the dishwasher.  It had become our usual ritual,
which we did automatically.  We seemed to have morphed into one of those
couples that instinctively knew what the other was thinking.

            ‘Nah, but they are intrigued to meet the woman who kept me
here.  That’s the first family Christmas I’ve missed in twenty years,’ he
replied, with a devilish grin.

            ‘Robbie… don’t wind me up, I’ll be nervous enough as it is.’

Right, listen up, dear friends.  I have pinpointed this trip as the exact
point in time where I made the mother of all mistakes.  If you get the urge to
feel sorry for me… please don’t, it was all my own, damned fault.  I was
merrily putting the cart before the horse, blithely writing my own script
without giving a thought to my leading man, who it turned out, was actually
reading a different play entirely.  The reality of that hit me with the same
force as a sucker punch to the solar plexus and I never saw it coming.

I’m not going
to waste your time with a description of what was, for the most part, a boring
drive to St Austell.  Well, there were highlights like when Robbie would reach
across for my hand and hold it on his knee as he drove.  It’s pretty pathetic
for that to be a highlight, but all these things meant something to me.  Shared
intimacies were a fundamental part of a relationship, as far as I was
concerned.

            Robbie’s parents lived in a small village about five miles
south of St Austell, but his sister, Julie, with whom we were staying, lived in
a large town house right in the centre.  We had to park on the road outside and
climb up three flights of stone steps to get to the path in front of the house.
 Julie, presumably watching for our arrival, was now standing at the door
waiting for us.

            ‘You’re here at last… how was the journey?’ she asked, as she
enveloped Robbie in a sisterly hug.

            ‘Oh, fine most of the way, bit of a hold up at Birmingham,
but we made good time,’ Robbie replied, hugging her back.  Then they both
turned to me.  As Robbie made the introductions, I noticed friendly curiosity reflected
in Julie’s eyes, which incidentally, were the exact same golden brown as her
brother’s.

            ‘Well,’ she said, linking her arm to mine and taking me
inside. ‘You are very welcome, we’ve been dying to meet you.’  I turned  around
to glance at Robbie and was rewarded with an encouraging wink.

            ‘David?  David, where are you… they’re here.’  Julie was
calling from our position in the spacious hall of what looked like a beautiful
home.  The next minute a jumble of people and two black Labradors converged on
us from various doors on either side.

            ‘Uncle Robbie!’ A young girl of about six shouted, as she
launched herself at Robbie.  He held onto the wriggling bundle of chestnut
curls and swung her round.

            ‘Did you bring me a present?’ she asked, displaying a pair of
irresistible dimples, once he had set her back on the floor.

            ‘Poppy!  Where are your manners?’ said another woman, who I
presumed to be Robbie’s second sister, Pamela.  ‘Sorry, Robbie,’ she smiled and
kissed his cheek.

            Twenty minutes later, with a happy Poppy playing with her new
Barbie Princess, I had met everyone present.  David was Julie’s husband and
they had the two teenage boys, Robert and Justin,  I tried to remember.  Pamela
was married to Geoffrey and they were Poppy’s parents. 

            Over a noisy lunch, I learned Geoffrey was an inspector in
the police force and David was the local GP.  Julie and he had met when she had
been working in the same hospital some years previously.  When I enquired as to
whether she had been a nurse there, I almost choked on my bread roll when she
revealed she was a psychiatrist.

            ‘Oh, Robbie never said,’ I replied.

Julie laughed.  ‘There’s a very good reason for that…’

            ‘Yes,’ Robbie interrupted.  ‘As soon as people find out, they
start trying to convince her they are completely normal, which makes them seem
like complete nutters.’

            Everyone laughed, including myself, but I was silently vowing
to avoid close scrutiny if at all possible – not that I thought there was
anything wrong with me, of course – no, it’s just that if there was, I’d prefer
Julie not to know.

            ‘I can’t believe you never told me your sister is a
psychiatrist,’ I told Robbie later that evening.  We were in the guest room at
the top of the three-story house.  As with everything else in the home, it was a
lovely room.  But for me, the magnificent view over the town’s rooftops and
then still further, the sea, was the most beautiful part.

            ‘Is it bothering you?’ he asked.

            ‘No, not really… but I do find myself wondering if I’m being
analysed,’ I laughed.

            ‘Well, you’re not.  If Julie started analysing everyone she
met she would be a nervous wreck.  She’s done the job for a lot of years and
knows how to leave it in the office.’

            ‘OK,’ I said, from my position at the window.  Robbie came up
behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.  I leaned back into the solid wall
of his chest.

            ‘You know you worry too much about what people think,’ he
said, resting his chin on the top of my head.

            ‘Do I?’

            ‘Mmm…look how worried you were about coming here, and they
all love you.’

            ‘They may just be being polite.’

            ‘They might… but I don’t think so.   Anyway, it’s my opinion
that counts.’

            ‘Oh really… is that so?  So tell me – what
is
your
opinion?’   It was a leading question and I shocked myself by asking it.   I
held my breath waiting for his answer.

The slight pause before Robbie spoke, was enough to illicit the first
twang of embarrassment.  Jesus, I thought, me and my big mouth…
again.

            ‘I think…’

‘Yes?’ I asked, without turning around.

‘You are fishing for compliments,’ he laughed, as I let out a breath that
was a mix of both disappointment and relief.

‘Anyway,’ he said, whacking my bottom with the back of his hand.  ‘Come
on, it’s time we got changed.  You have yet to have the pleasure of meeting
Granny Collins and that…trust me on this…is not to be missed.’

That was neatly done, I thought.  I had to silently congratulate Robbie’s
powers of distraction as I dressed for the party, which by the sound of it was
already starting.  I tucked the slightly bereft feeling our conversation had
left to the back of my mind to examine later.

Granny Collins, the diminutive matriarch of the family, who had arrived
with Robbie’s parents, was ensconced in an armchair in the lounge, receiving
hugs and kisses from all in her vicinity. Robbie had me by the hand as we
crossed the room to her.

‘Granny… how are you?’  Granny Collins almost disappeared beneath the
hulking body of her grandson as he kneeled to hug her.  It struck me how demonstrative
the family was.  As you know, it wasn’t something I had grown up with and I
found it a tad overpowering.  Don’t get me wrong, of course I hugged and kissed
my boys, especially when they were younger, but that and the odd hug with
Alison and her mother was about it.