False Regret: Pikorua - Book 1 (5 page)

“Oh,
thanks. It’s Cade, right?” I asked, and he nodded. “You can sit with my friends
and me. My name is Ellia Meyers.”

“Okay,
thank you, that’d be great. Nice to meet you, Ellia.”

He
followed me to the lunch table where two girls and a boy watched us approach. I
smirked like I had a secret as their inquisitive faces stared.  

“Hey,
guys, meet Cade Cantrell, he is new here. I told him he was welcome sit at our
table.” I pretended to be cool and nonchalant as I sat down next to my
boyfriend.  Cade took a seat on the other side of me, our elbows touching,
giving me goose-bumps.

“Cade,
this is Maria,” I said pointing to the girl across from him. Maria had long
black hair and a permanent tan thanks to her Latino heritage. “This is Ashley.”
I gestured to the heavy-set blonde next to Maria who sat stiffly smiling at
Cade like she’d just shit her pants. “And this is Will.” I put my hand on
Will’s arm. He tossed the dark brown curls off his forehead and addressed the
new kid.

“Hey.
How’s it goin’? I’m Ellia’s boyfriend. Are you in her third hour class or
something?”

Will
was always jealous of any attention other boys gave me, but Cade was so good
looking, I had no doubt his presence provoked Will worse than usual.  It was a
futile emotion, in my opinion.  A guy like Cade would never be into a nerdy
girl like me, anyway, but it ticked me off that Will felt the need to blurt it
out in a way that seemed out of context, like he was laying down a claim on me.

“Yeah,
so far, I have had every class with her.” Cade smiled and took a bite of his
food as I watched the information process on Will’s face. He didn’t like it,
and he would grill me about it later, even though I had no control over Cade
Cantrell’s class schedule.

Will
and I began dating our freshman year, and we managed to stay together until the
start of our senior one. Everyone assumed we would get married someday, but I
knew better. My plan after high school was freedom, not only from Will, but
from my small town life. It wasn’t crazy love that kept me with him, I simply
liked having a boyfriend, even if he was tedious at times. He was a body to
take me to dances and listen to my troubles.  He was comfortable and familiar.  I
loved the stability he offered.

Maria
had on and off boyfriends all the time, guys that used her and then left her. Poor
Ashley had never been out on a date. The closest she’d ever come to a romantic liaison
was a brief
sexting
relationship with a douche-bag in California who
turned out to be a forty-year-old, married man. She went to prom alone the year
prior and sat in the bleachers crying for most of the night. I protected myself
from those things by staying with Will.

My
heart hurt for Ash, and I usually invited her to tag along on my dates.  It annoyed
Will, but I didn’t care. Her presence made me happy, and it also kept him from
pressuring me about sex. After three years of dating, he believed we should be
going all the way, but I was still refusing him.  I never let him do anything
with me, always making excuses for not accepting his advances. It seemed wrong
to give up my virginity to someone I liked, not loved. I wanted to be in love
for real, but I couldn’t tell him the truth. It was a point of contention
between us, but I continued to hold firm on the subject.

Someday,
after we graduated and moved on to college, I figured the relationship would
just melt away, naturally. He was on his way to State on a wrestling
scholarship, and I was planning to attend the University of Tennessee on an
academic scholarship. I hoped the distance of separated states with twelve
hours of travel between would be the end.

“Where
did you move here from?” asked Maria, smiling and licking her finger at the
same time. Overt flirting was always her thing.

“Detroit,”
he answered, and we all nodded as if that explained his appearance.

“Why
would you move up here to hicks-ville in your senior year?  That seems crazy,”
said Ashley. Her plump cheeks turned red, and I knew a crush was developing.

“It’s
a long story, but I moved up here to live with my Aunt and finish school. My
cousin goes here, but I don’t have him in any of my classes. Do you guys know
Jimmy Ferguson?” asked Cade. 

We
all knew his cousin. Our school was small, and Jimmy was a popular jock,
fitting every stereotype that word implied. I didn’t like him. He was mean to
me in fourth grade when I’d moved there.  The jerk put a wad of sticky
bubblegum in my hair that led to a haircut I hated.  In high school, freshman
year, he called me ugly and fat because I wouldn’t give him the answer to a
test question in social studies. The nasty remarks and obscene gestures had
continued all through school, so I avoided him. Lucky for me, he was basically
an idiot in remedial classes so I didn’t have any periods with him. Not wanting
to offend Cade, I kept my mouth shut about his asshole cousin.

“I
wrestle with Jimmy,” offered Will. “He also plays football and baseball. Do you
play any sports?”

“Nope,”
stated Cade. “I used to play football but got tired of the bullshit. Now I stick
to playing my guitar.”

“Do
you sing, too,” asked Maria, even more interested in the rebel.

“Yes,
I play and sing lead in a band, but obviously I am here now, so that’s on
hiatus for the time being.” He pushed his food around with his fork and exhaled.
He didn’t want to be there, it seemed obvious.

His
potential story piqued my interest further.
What brought him to our town?
Why is he living with his aunt? What genre of music does he play? Does he have
a girlfriend?

“What
kind of music do you play?” asked Ashley, reading my mind, at least partially.

“Rock
and a little rap, but mostly rock. I write my own stuff and don’t do covers of
other people’s music very often. My band and I were working on a record deal,
but since I am here now, that has to wait awhile.” He took another bite of his
food while we all stared at him, trying to decide whether he was being truthful.

“Bullshit,”
said Will. “I wouldn’t go around making shit up and bragging to make yourself
look like somebody if you want to make any friends here, Cantrell.”

“I
wasn’t making anything up or bragging. You guys asked about it so I told you. I
don’t give a crap if you believe me or not.” He calmly continued eating, his
comment not laced with anger or defensiveness which convinced me he was being
truthful.

“Well,
I believe you,” said Maria, reading my mind again, and Ashley nodded. “I think that
is so freakin’ cool. We have a talent show coming up to raise money for student
council projects. You should sign up for it. You could win fifty bucks. It’s
not much, but it would put gas in your tank for a week.” Maria giggled, which
seemed unnecessary based on the conversation.

“We’ll
see,” he replied, and smiled at her. It was the first time I’d seen Maria
redden under her warm skin tone.

 The
discussion moved onto gossip, but Cade sat and listened as if genuinely
interested. Being seated next to him, I couldn’t view his face, but I imagined
an amused smirk. Our lives probably seemed small and pathetic as compared to
the enormous school district from which he’d come.

After
lunch, Will walked me to my next class. He stood in the door frame with his
forearm resting on the metal casing, blocking me from entering as Cade slid by
us to talk to the teacher. “I don’t trust that guy,” said Will. “Stay away from
him, Ellia. He looks like a total loser, and I bet he is here because he got in
trouble or something. If he says or does anything, I will knock his head off,
Jimmy’s cousin or not.”

I
touched his arm to reassure him, hoping to diffuse a situation. “Don’t be so
judgmental, Will. I promise if he is a jerk, I won’t talk to him, but I know
what it’s like to be the new kid. It sucks, especially in this cliquey little
town. I won’t be mean to him just because he has tattoos and earrings. I won’t
be that kind of person.”

Will
rolled his eyes and sighed while leaning in and giving me a peck on the lips.
This was not a common act, and I knew it was for Cade’s benefit. Public
displays of affection were grounds for Saturday detentions. “See you after
class,” he said. 

I
told him goodbye and proceeded to my assigned seat. Cade got his book and took a
desk at the back of the classroom. I felt disappointed I wouldn’t be able to surreptitiously
ogle him.

The
rest of the day continued much the same. He wasn’t in my sixth period, which
left me a little downhearted. After school, I headed to my little red truck
which was waiting next to Will’s big red pickup. Everyone thought it hysterical
that we both drove red trucks; my truck a mini version of his. We didn’t plan it;
it was just a quirky coincidence.  Will always stayed late for weight lifting,
but we had plans to meet up at my house later. I waited for Cade to exit the building.
He emerged with a back-pack full of books, and he walked toward the black and
chrome Harley parked near the teacher’s row. I watched him swing his long legs
over the seat and put his helmet over his spikey hair. There were no helmet
laws anymore so I was happy to see he was smart enough to wear one, anyway.
Of
course he rides a motorcycle.
I chuckled to myself.
The stereotype could
not be complete without it.
 He pulled out of the parking lot, and I followed
him. Not wanting to look like a stalker, I turned the opposite direction.

The
next day, Cade asked if he could sit with us again, and I agreed, though I knew
Will would not be happy about it. He had spent most of the previous evening
bashing the new kid instead of paying attention to the movie we’d rented.

“I
found out his dad is in prison and his mom is dead,” Will said while perched on
the edge of my bed. He’d hit Jimmy up for information. “Nobody wanted to take
him in because his dad is majorly bad news, but Jimmy’s mom, who is Cade’s
mom’s half-sister, agreed. Jimmy never even knew about this kid before he came
to live with them. His family avoided them because the dad was into really corrupt,
illegal shit. I mean like murder, and drugs, and stuff, Ellia. He was the head
guy in a motorcycle gang. Cade probably isn’t much better. It wouldn’t surprise
me if he’s dealing drugs or some kind of criminal bullshit. You need to stay
away from him. Seriously, who tats and pierces themselves up at our age? He
walks around like he thinks he’s somebody; pretty pathetic if you ask me. He
did play in a popular Detroit band, though, that part was true, but I doubt he
had a recording contract.  Don’t look at me like I am lying, Ellia.”  The look
on my face gave me away. “I Googled everything Jimmy said, just to see, and
sure enough, it is all there on the internet.”

Refusing
to take the bait, I wouldn’t judge the guy based on having a terrible father.
My own dad was no gem himself, at least in terms of being a parent.  Just
because Cade Cantrell came from bad stock, didn’t automatically make him a
rotten person. I changed the subject and made Will finish watching the movie.
After he left, though, I couldn’t resist. I searched the internet for
information about Cade and his family, curious about this mysterious new boy.
Will was right, Cade fronted a band called,
Unraveled
.  They had won a
bunch of local awards in the metro area, and they even opened for a few fairly
popular bands that played the Detroit arenas. He impressed me. The unflattering
family stuff was also true, though. His father was in prison for murder, and
his mother had committed suicide. My heart ached for this beautiful, sad boy.
He’d lost his entire immediate family. I didn’t give a crap what Will said, I wouldn’t
shun him because of his familial ties.

Cade
followed me to the lunch table as Will’s face turned a deep red. He was angry, just
as I figured he would be. The girls were thrilled, and they chatted him up
while I listened and Will pouted. 

“So
do you like to party?” asked Maria seductively working her tongue around the
straw in her milk. She wasn’t shy about showing whatever she was thinking.

“If
you are asking if I drink or do drugs, the answer is no. That’s not my scene.
Are you guys into that?”

“No,
not really.” Maria was known for going to parties and drinking, but I didn’t call
her out on it. “I have to be pretty good or Momma Ellia will disapprove.” She
laughed and tossed her straw at me. I wiped the milk splatter off my face and
smirked at her as she kept talking “Miss goody-two shoes doesn’t go to parties
or do anything fun, but Will does, don’t ya Will?” She winked at him as if they
had an inside joke.  Will went to the occasional party with his friends, but he
had never mentioned seeing Maria there. I wondered what I was missing.

“I’ve
gone to a few,” he said but refused to meet my eyes. The distinct feeling a
significant secret lay between my boyfriend and my best friend, plagued me. I
looked questioningly at Ashley, who averted her gaze and shrugged.

“Hey,”
Maria said to Cade. “I brought you something.” She pulled a yellow form out of
her back-pack and handed it across the table to him. “It’s a sign up sheet for
the talent show. We really need some good people. This school is lacking in a
lot of things and talent is a big one.” She laughed heartily, again. “Ashley
and I are going to perform a dance or something, but trust me; we don’t have
any talent either.”