False Regret: Pikorua - Book 1 (16 page)

“Not
at all,” I said. I’d never been inside his house before, so he explained where
to find his bedroom. I kissed his forehead and left him.

When
I reached his aunt and uncle’s home, I parked in the driveway and retrieved the
key. Once in the big, old colonial, I found Cade’s room, which was tidy for a
teenage boy. There were a few articles of clothing on the floor and sheets of the
music strewn about, but it was otherwise spotless. I went through his drawers,
looking for something that would be easy for him to get over the cast and
decided on a pair of shorts, despite the cool weather, not knowing if the leg
hole on his sweats would accommodate the cast. A clean T-shirt and hoodie seemed
appropriate as well. When I got into his sock drawer, my hand landed on a photo
album. Curious, I couldn’t resist the urge to snoop. Inside were pictures of
Cade and his parents. His mother was stunning, with long black hair and Cade’s
eyes. His father was handsome, with perfect facial angles like his son, even
with his long hair and array of tattoos. He was a big man and stood at least
seven or eight inches taller than his mother. Cade had kept newspaper clippings
about his mother’s demise and his father’s arrest. It made me sad, but I was
glad I could put faces to the people who gave him life. His mother had been a
stay home mom, and Cade was her only child. They had raised him well, with the
morals his father seemed to lack. I went to put the book away when a note
slipped out and sailed to the carpet. I picked it up and opened it. The letter
read:

Dear
Cade,

I
am so sorry they are making you move away. I hope you will visit me as often as
you can. You know how much I love you. We have been through so much together,
and I hope our relationship will survive this move. You are my world, babe, and
there are not words to express how much I will miss you. I will always cherish
the songs you wrote for me and those special moments we shared. Call me as soon
as you get there.

All
my love forever,

Love
Jenna

I
was upset--really upset. He had never mentioned having a serious girlfriend in
Detroit right before his move. He’d never told me about this girl at all. I was
hurt and started to wonder if Cade was playing me. Maybe I had wasted my love
and my virginity on a pretty face and a good line.  He’d been awfully adept
with me in the bedroom, much more so than I’d been with him, which made me wonder
if he’d lied about it being his first time. I angrily stuffed his things into a
bag and headed back to the hospital. He was dozing again when I walked into the
room.

“Hey,”
he said, with a lazy smile as I sat the bag on the chair.

“I
will get the nurse to help you get dressed, and I’ll take you home,” I said,
without a hint of emotion. I walked out of the room and motioned for the nurse.
She came immediately and helped Cade into his clothes. He met me in the hallway,
his bag of torn, bloody clothes on his lap.

“I’m
ready,” he said, looking intently at me, not understanding my mood. I took over
for the nurse and pushed the wheelchair into the elevator, not saying a word.
Once we were in the truck, he finally asked, “What is wrong, Ellia? You are
acting strange. What happened? Are you mad at me for something?”

I
decided it best to be honest. If he was angry that I’d been snooping then we
were definitely far from where I thought we were. “When I was getting some
socks for you, I found your photo album.”

“Okay,
I still don’t understand why you are mad at me. Was there something about my
family that upset you?” he asked, still unaware of what I’d found in the album.

“Who
is Jenna?” I finally asked.

“She’s
an ex-girlfriend, why?” he asked and put his hand on my arm.

I
pulled away, too furious to accept his touch. “Why didn’t you ever tell me
about her? She obviously thought you two were going to continue your
relationship when you moved here, so it’s not like it was all that long ago.
The note made it sound like the two of you were in love. I’m upset that you
didn’t tell me you were seriously involved with someone.” I struggled to keep
my voice calm.

“I
was no more seriously involved with Jenna than you were with Will. I broke up
with her when I moved here because I didn’t want to try to maintain some long distance
thing. My and aunt and uncle forbid me to go into the city, remember? In fact,
I am in serious shit now for disobeying them. Jenna believed she was in love
with me. She used to tell me so me all the time, and I admit, I said it back because
I didn’t want to hurt her feelings.  I never really loved her though, not the
way I love you. I didn’t even know I still had that letter, and I’ll toss it as
soon as I get home. If you want to ransack my room looking for more
accusations, feel free.”

“Do
you say you love me because you don’t want to hurt my feelings? Was I really
your first or was that just another thing you said?” We pulled into the
pharmacy so I could fill his prescriptions and get his crutches. He stared at
me like I had a grown a second head.

“How
could you say that to me? How can you think that? I’m not just fucking around
with you, okay?  I really love you. What do I have to do to make you believe
me? You know I dated other girls before you, so why are acting like this? I
didn’t lie to you about anything. This weekend would have never happened if I
didn’t care about you, Ellia, I am not like that. I thought you knew me better.”.

I
sighed, believing him. “I’m sorry. I just got a little freaked out, okay? This
is new to me, and I just am so afraid of finding out something that’s going to
ruin it. I am scared to death of losing you.  Snooping in your things was
wrong, but sometimes I worry I don’t know enough about you. The note fell out,
and my mind started going into overdrive.  You are so gorgeous and talented, I get
insecure about why you would be with me.” He took my arm and pulled me across
the seat, wrapping me so tightly in an embrace it was hard to breathe.

“Don’t
do that. I have never known someone so unsure of herself. You are beautiful,
inside and out, and any guy would love to be where I am. You just never gave
them a shot. I feel grateful and honored that you gave me a chance to love you.
I sure don’t deserve you.  You could be with the most popular guy in school if
you wanted to be, but you chose to take a chance on a loser like me. If anyone
should feel insecure it’s me, and sometimes I do. I know you are going to go
away to school and meet lots of guys that are way better than me.  I worry that
I will just be a high school memory for you, and I can’t stand the thought of
it.” He looked me in the eye. “I love you, and I want to be with you forever.
That is a promise.”

I
kissed his bruised lips, but he didn’t seem to mind. “I love you too, and I want
to be with you forever, too. But if you ever get back on that damn motorcycle I
will break your other leg,” I said, lightening the mood.

“My
motorcycle is toast,” he said. “It slid away from me once I hit the pavement.
It crashed into a power pole. Thank God for insurance.”

“Thank
God, period,” I said. “You could have died. I just don’t think I could go on if
something happened to you.” My voice caught again and tears filled her eyes.
“Promise me you won’t get another bike.”

He
used his thumbs to wipe my tears away. “I won’t buy a bike right away, but I
can’t promise I will never ride again. Bikes have been part of my life since I was
old enough to straddle one.  But for now, I will play it safe, fair enough?” he
asked, smiling at me.

I
took him to his aunt’s house and got him tucked into his bed. I lay with him
for a while, and we talked until I got a text on my phone. “Shit,” I said and
sat up.

“What’s
wrong?” He propped himself up on an elbow.

“The
school called my mom because I ditched my classes to come see you. She is
pissed, and, of course, automatically thinks the worst. I am apparently
grounded from you because you were not in school in either. She probably thinks
we are off doing it somewhere.”

 Cade
laughed. “Well, now, that actually sounds like a good idea,” he teased.  He
pulled me down and kissed me.

“Stop
it,” I said, laughing, and pushing him away. “If I go home all flushed from rolling
around with you, I will be in more trouble. Do you need anything before I go?”

“Maybe
just a glass of water so I can pop a pill later if my leg gets hurting. I
really don’t want to tackle those stairs again anytime soon.”

I
ran down the stairs and entered the kitchen just as Jimmy walked in the back
door. “What are you doing here?” he asked.

“I
brought Cade home from the hospital. He wanted a glass of water, and the stairs
are tricky with his crutches. Can you tell me where your cups are?” He dropped
his backpack on the kitchen island and got a glass down for me.

“There’s
ice in the fridge door if you want it,” he said. “Does my mom know he’s home
yet?”

“I
don’t know. He told me your parents were working and wouldn’t pick him up until
they were done, so I brought him home. Do you think you could call your mom and
let her know not to bother?”

“Sure,”
he said, but stood there like he wanted to say something else. “Ellia, you know
about him, right?”

“What
do you mean?” I asked, looking at him with a clueless expression.

“I
know we haven’t exactly been friends in school, but you’re an okay chick.  I just
don’t really get why you’d be with someone like him. You know his dad is in
prison for murder, and that his mom killed herself, right? I mean the guy has
got to be kinda fucked up don’t you think?” He grabbed a bag of chips out of
the cabinet and shoveled a few in his mouth.

“I
know about his family, but I think he’s handled it all really well. You and
your family might like him if you got to know him,” I said, filling the tumbler
with cool tap water.

“There’s
bad blood, Ellia, and you should probably stay away from it. He is a really
good musician and stuff, but are you just gonna follow him around and be his
roadie when we graduate? You’re our valedictorian, right? He just seems beneath
you. I know it’s none of my business, but I just think you should steer clear
of him. He’ll end up into drugs and shit if he is not already. Lonnie Bench has
it bad for you, ya know. He’s been waiting for you and Will to break up
forever. He’d be a good guy for you.”

Lonnie
Bench was Jimmy’s best friend and the quarterback of the football team. I
almost laughed when I remembered what Cade said earlier.
You could be with
the most popular guy in school if you wanted to be
. He must’ve known of
Lonnie’s interest in me. Too bad for Lonnie, my heart belonged only to Cade.

“Actually,
Jimmy, Cade is our valedictorian. His GPA and SAT scores are higher than mine.
Have you ever seen him at a party? No, because he doesn’t drink or do drugs. I
doubt very much he would ever touch any of that stuff. His father’s
transgressions do not define him, and it sounds like your mother’s sister was a
pretty exceptional mother to him. He has goodness and morality that came from
somewhere.  You need to give him a chance and stop judging him. He feels so
awkward here, and it’s not fair. It would be nice if you all could treat him
with a little compassion.”

“Who
are you to tell us how to run our household, young lady?” asked a woman’s voice
from behind me. I turned to see Cade’s aunt. She looked eerily similar to
Cade’s mother, but with short hair, even though they were only half-sisters. I
wondered if it was hard for Cade to see her every day. “Who the hell are you?”

“Mom,”
said Jimmy, pointing at me. “This is Cade’s girlfriend. She brought him home
from the hospital.”

“Well,
I will be sure to thank Cade for letting me know he had a ride. I just wasted
my gas driving up there to find out he had left.” She slammed her purse on the
counter. “I don’t know why I even agreed to take that kid into our house.”

“I
was taking him a glass of water. Is it okay for me to do so?” I asked, so angry
I didn’t trust myself to stay in the same room with the horrible woman.

“Fine. 
Whatever. Tell him I will be up shortly to speak with him. I need to know how
he intends to pay for his medical bills. His parents didn’t bother with health
insurance or any other damn thing,” she complained.

I
took the water upstairs and Cade was propped up on his pillow, notebook in
hand. “Hey,” he said when I came in. “You look pissed, what did I do now?” He
grinned at me.

“I
am pissed, but not at you. I had a run in with Jimmy and his mother. That woman
is a total bitch. I swear if I had a bunch of money, you and I would just get a
place together and not have to deal with all the bullshit. Just a head’s up,
she is going to make you pay for your medical bills. It’s like she’s mad that you
got in an accident. I am so freaking pissed right now.” He took the water from
me and set it on the night stand, before reaching out his hand to me.

“Come
sit a sec,” he said. “I have a little spending money set aside, Ellia, I will
pay the medical bills, don’t worry about it. My parents did not leave me
totally destitute like she makes it seem. I am fine. This is just a temporary
situation. It’s what my dad wanted, and I don’t intend to make him worry about
me.  It’s not forever, and I can handle it, okay? I am not as fragile as you think.”
He pulled me in for another kiss as my phone went off again.