Everything Changes (20 page)

“God she’s a bitch.” Kurt huffed, sitting next to
me. I kept my place by the pool and settled on watching rather than mingling.
Parker was talking with Russ Reynolds who had just shown up.

“Who’s a bitch?” I asked Kurt who laughed at
Addy
as she picked apart her hamburger, eating all the
pickles off the table next to us.

“What’s with you and those pickles, squirt?” he
asked
Addy
.

She quirked an eyebrow at him before stuffing
another pickle in her mouth. “I like pickles,” she mumbled.

Kurt laughed again and looked at me.
“Kayla...she’s a bitch.”

“I thought you guys were all friends?”

“No, we are not. She and Parker are friends.” He
pointed to himself. “
I
am friends with Parker, not her.” He shivered as
though he was disgusted by her very presence.

I can’t say I felt any different.

Once again, I watched his every move around these
girls the entire time we were Anaheim. He didn’t act any different than he did
back in Moab, but they did. It seemed as though since they were on their own
turf flirting with him was easier. Kayla even brought her clan with her this
time. All of which hung on
every
word Parker, Justin, and Russ were
saying.

Kurt stayed close to
Addy
and me that night, laughing with us and making fun of the other girls that
showed up. He gave us dirt on everyone.

We found out that Kayla slept with half the area
code and spent more time in the tanning booth than she did in school. If you
talked to her for more than two minutes, you understood completely.

When Parker came by, he kissed me passionately
before moving inside the house with Justin.

That was when Kayla made her way over to us.
Thankfully, Kurt stayed with me.

“Well there’s a pair,” she said in that voice
that sounded like a porn star.

“Yeah, well...” Kurt threw his arm around my
shoulder and the other around
Addy
“...I have to
guard my girls.”

“From who, Kurt?” Kayla seemed annoyed at his
very presence as she adjusted her shoe. She was wearing these three-inch high
heels with jean shorts and this top that left nothing to the imagination.

“You know, Kayla, they make clothes outside of
the toddler section at the Gap.”

“Shut up, Kurt,” she snapped. “So, Rowan...” her
vicious gaze turned to me and then softened “...how are you and Parker?”

“They’re good,” Kurt responded as though I wasn’t
there.

“I was talking to Rowan,
not you
.”

Before they started attacking each other, I
replied. “Good, we’re good.” I chuckled at Kurt’s pure hatred for her.

Parker stuck his head out the sliding glass door.
“Kurt, can you come in here for a second?”

Kurt looked from me to Kayla and then at Parker
but got up. “I’ll be right back, Rowan.” He seemed to think he needed to
protect me from her.

Kayla wasted no time at all in cornering me.
“There’s a lot to him, Rowan. He’s complicated and he needs someone to
understand that.”

“Who? Kurt? He seems normal enough.” I stalled
knowing exactly who she was talking about.
Addy
, who
was still beside me, was now talking with Lucy again and seemed to be oblivious
to the conversation.

Kayla laughed sarcastically. “I’m not talking
about Kurt. I’m talking about Parker.”

I decided to be brave for once in my life. “What
about Parker?”

“He needs someone who can understand him,” she
said flatly, looking the direction of the house behind us. I had a feeling she
was keeping watch.

“Are you saying I can’t do that?” My brave front
faded when the seventeen-year old emotional and hormonal girl shined through.

“Yes, I am. You’re young.”

“We’re the same age.”

“Yes, but I know Parker. The one that went into
depression for years after his dad died.”

I thought for a moment, thinking about what Dusty
said to me. I really wanted to know the
real
Parker. He said I did, but
was he lying to me?

“He moved away after his dad died. How do you
know?”

“Rowan...” She smiled and if I didn’t know any
better, I’d say it almost looked tender. “Parker and I talk every day. I know
him better than you think.”

“So what is it that he needs then, Kayla? Do
tell!” Kurt said, sitting down next to me. I smiled, feeling at ease once
again.

“Yamaha wants Parker back, and I’m determined to
make that happen. He belongs on a bike. Not in some passive town messing around
with a farm girl.”

Wow, why doesn’t she just stab me in the chest
while she’s at it?

Parker walked up right then and noticed my mood
change. The emotional seventeen-year-old in me ran off to the bathroom in
tears. I hated her, both Kayla and that seventeen-year-old hormonal girl. Both
brought out a side of me I despised.

I didn’t wait around to hear what was said next,
but I heard Kurt and then Parker talking outside with Kayla. All I knew was I
wanted to go home now.

Anaheim wasn’t for me that was for sure. Anaheim
was for girls like Kayla.

Kayla Lucas had money. She was heavily involved
with the AMA because of her dad. She was a better for Parker and I knew that.
Parker’s dream of racing in the AMA again wasn’t a pipe dream, and I didn’t
want to stand in his way.

When he found me later, all I said was, “Can we
go home early?”

He never questioned me and said, “Anything you
want. We can leave first thing in the morning.”

I was in the bathroom again when
Addy
found me after everyone went home, and we decided to
spend the night and then leave in the morning.

“Why are we leaving early?”
Addy
asked, concerned, but I could tell she was more worried about me than the fact
that we were leaving early.

“I don’t want to be around those girls any longer
than I need to be.” My eyes were still watering, but I managed not to break out
in any sobs.

Addy
moved
inside the bathroom and closed the door behind her, leaning against it. “Parker
stuck up for you when you came inside. They’re only friends, nothing more.”

“What did he say?”

“I don’t know everything he said to Kayla, but I
did hear him say that he would pick the farm girl over it all.”
Addy
smiled and ran her hand over my shoulder for comfort.
“He loves you, Ro, let him love you. Don’t run from this.”

Parker and Justin had plans to spend some time
with their grandmother but canceled that because of me. I felt like an ass and
not any better by leaving early, especially after what
Addy
told me.

That summer brought out the best and worst of me.
I learned a lot about myself, Parker, and life in general. It may not seem like
it but in the pale moonlight in the valleys and steep canyons of Moab, Utah, I
found that girl inside of me. The girl that not only pushed aside the
insecurities but let in a boy.

I’d like to believe that Kayla and Dusty were
wrong. I
knew
Parker. I knew that boy that was afraid and the boy that
was strangely determined in his own way.

He was complicated, but not to me. To me, he was
that
boy. The one that held me under the moon, told me he loved me, and looked at me
as though I was a breath of fresh air—his breath of fresh air.

But everything changes eventually.

CHAPTER 10

Rowan
Jensen

Bottoming

Bottoming is when the
suspension reaches the end of its travel. The ideal situation occurs when you
almost, or very lightly bottom out – meaning you’re using all of the
suspensions travel and reducing the impact as much as possible.

July
11, 1997

Sometimes I thought when my mom forgot things it
was her brain’s way of protecting her, shielding the bad from the good in a
sense. It was kind of shitty to think like that because I was sure she would
give anything to have the ability to remember where she set her glass down
earlier in the day or that she put an apple pie in the oven. But not
remembering a certain part of your life could be a blessing.

For instance, I wanted to remember everything
that happened under the moon but forget things that were said to me from people
like Dusty or Kayla.

Why?

Because I was a girl that hung on every word.

Those were the things I thought about the entire
drive home. As the sand and dry weather rolled into thick, overshadowing pine
trees of the northwest, the steady mist of rain washed away some of my fears. I
felt like I was home again, a place where I was comfortable with myself.

Once we arrived in Shelton, Parker and Justin
dropped off
Addy
and then me. That was when Parker
walked me to the door while Justin stayed in the car.

My dad came outside with a wide grin, noticing we
were home. I hugged him and then my mom who ventured outside as well.

“Thank you, Rick, for letting her come with me,”
Parker said politely, his hands concealed deep in his pockets, his head bent
forward as though he was uneasy at the interaction with my dad.

He was probably thinking,
“Yeah, so I took
your only daughter's virginity too. Thanks for that.”

Okay, well knowing how shy Parker was, he wasn’t
thinking that. I was.

The way his cheeks flushed innocently reminded me
of the way they looked the morning after we finally shared ourselves. I could
see it clearly, the sun rising as his lips slowly moved over my heated skin.

Rick smiled, but before he could say anything, my
mom was out the door and pulling me into a hug. “Oh my God! How was Christmas
break?”

Parker furrowed his brow and then smiled,
confused but amused by her.

Rick wrapped his arm around her, his smile warm.
“Sarah, honey, remember, they were on summer break?” She tucked in under his
arm, leaning into him. “They went to Moab.”

My mom smiled. “Right...” she waved her hand
around dismissively understanding her memory had failed her “...I knew that.”

Parker shifted his weight to one side as though
he was uncomfortable with their interaction. I noticed and decided to make this
less painful for him.

We had barely talked since we left Anaheim, and
now it didn’t seem much different when he smiled at me. “I guess I’ll see you
at work,” I said after Mom and Dad excused themselves.

Parker handed me my bag he was holding after he
unloaded my bike and gear. “Can I see you sooner than that?” he whispered with
his head bent looking at his feet. “Maybe tomorrow?”

“Well I work on Sunday, so I guess,” I replied
just as shyly.

His hand came forward to touch the side of my
face before he pulled me into a hug. “I had a good time with you, Ro. I don’t
want that to end just because we’re back,” he said this with such sincerity
that I looked up at him. His expression was conflicted, mixed with both want
and sadness. He wasn’t sure how this would work either. Sure, we had something
special in Moab, for a few weeks, but this wasn’t Moab.

Where did that leave us?

The thing was I wasn’t stupid. I knew if Yamaha
wanted him back, they’d get him. And that’s exactly why we were both confused
as to what this really was or would be now that we were back. What would it be
come September when school started or November when he was supposedly leaving?

I just smiled and nodded. Nothing more was said
and he left with a kiss on my cheek.

I had a nice dinner with my mom and dad that
night and told them everything that happened. Well, not everything that
happened. Sure, I left a few details out, but I think they knew what would
happen when they allowed their daughter to go on summer break with a
boy...especially my mom. When I took a shower later that night, she strolled in
to sit on the sink like she usually did. She reminded me of
Addy
in that regard. It was if they thought I couldn’t shower alone and needed their
company for moral support.

“So was it good?” Mom asked and giggled very
similar to the way
Addy
did.

“Yeah, the trip was good,” I replied with
reserve, not really wanting to reveal any details.

She ripped open the shower curtain. “That’s not
what I was talking about. You’re glowing. You had sex with him, didn’t you?”

I never kept anything from my mom because she
wouldn’t remember tomorrow what I told her today. What was the point in
not
telling her?

At least I waited until I was out of the shower,
but I did tell her while we sat on my bed and discussed everything that
happened those weeks in Moab in detail.

My mom was cute and giggled with me when I told
her how shy he was. She sympathized with me when I told her how much it hurt.
It was nice to have that time with her. Though her memory was gone, her
personality and the bond between us was still there and that was all I needed.