Everything Changes (21 page)

Later that night
Addy
came over, and I couldn’t have been more excited. I needed my
bestie
to talk me through this.
Addy
had always been there for me in ways no one else could. Like the time I kissed
Trey
Keading
when I was thirteen and I was mortified
when he stuck his tongue in my mouth and slobbered all over me.

She was there when I tried to get Jake Colts
attention my freshmen year and walked right into an open locker door, nearly
knocking myself out. I ended up needing two stitches in my chin. And she was
there the day Parker and Justin showed up when I was sure I loved Parker at
first sight.

Now we were here, lying together, reminiscing
about our trip to Moab.

She brought Jelly Belly jelly beans, and I loved
her even more for that. She always knew what I needed.

“You’re going to get fat from those,” she said,
snuggling up together, both our heads on the pillow, staring at each other like
we did when we were kids.

I smiled, picking through the jelly beans to find
the coconut ones.

“Your teeth are going to rot too.”

I chewed, not listening but smiling.

“I’m jealous that you can eat that and not have a
diabetic seizure,”
Addy
said, sitting up a little to
reach for her water bottle.

I shrugged popping the last one in my mouth. My
teeth felt like they were wearing cozy socks.

Addy
sat
back, crossing her arms over her chest, and grinned. “Was it good?”

“Not the first couple times.” I remembered the
pain and burning. “It hurt.”

“I hear
ya
,”
Addy
said, snuggling back in the bed. “I thought he was
going to split me in two…and then it felt good but still hurt.”

“Did you cry?” I hoped that I wasn’t alone in
that part.

“Yeah, a little, but not until after when I was
lying against him, wishing I could run into Parker’s room and talk to you.”

“What did Justin say when you cried?” I wondered
if his reaction was the same as Parker’s when I cried.

“He wrapped his arms around me but didn’t say
much of anything.”

We were quiet for a while, my head on her
shoulder and her head next to mine. Then we started talking about the cute
things they said or did and how it was the best vacation either of us had ever
been on. Then the conversation shifted to Parker.

“What are you going to do if he leaves?”
Addy
asked after she said Justin indicated he was staying
through the end of the year but didn’t know if he could stay longer than that
with Parker’s career up in the air. Justin was Parker’s mechanic and if Parker
intended to race again, Justin would go with him. That scared both of us.

I shrugged as tears pricked my eyes. I hated the
feeling of dread that crept into my bones and the way it tugged at my heart. “I
guess I would have to let him go. I wouldn’t want to get in his way. His dream
is Supercross.”

“Yeah, Justin mentioned that he’s only ever
wanted to ride.”

“How come Justin didn’t ride professionally?”

Addy
shrugged indifferently, reaching in the bowl of jelly beans for the green ones.
She popped two in her mouth and chewed slowly. “He said he raced up until he
was thirteen and then decided it wasn’t for him. He didn’t like the competition
and said Motocross is full of assholes.”

“Do you love Justin?”

She smiled brighter, reminding me of the child
inside. “I do…it seems hard to believe that after only a month or so that I
can, but I think you just know that you do…and I do.”
Addy
took a big drink of her water before asking, “Do you love Parker?”

My dad chose to walk in my room then. He took one
look at
Addy
and I and shook his head. “I probably
don’t want to know what you’re talking about, do I?” he asked, smiling at
Addy
and the hair stuck to the side of her face.

“No, keep walking, dude.”

He did. He usually wanted no part of these
conversations.

When he kept walking,
Addy
looked at me again. “Do you love him?”

I didn’t want to hide anything from
Addy
so I told her. I told her that I loved Parker and not
just any type of love. It was the kind of love that would break me if he left.
The kind of love that had wanting to do anything to make him stay, but I also
wouldn’t stand in his way.

Addy
understood too. If anything, she understood over everyone else because she was
right there with me, in love for the first time.

July
20, 1997

When Sunday came along, I found myself at work
and surprisingly not as overwhelmed as I thought I’d be. It turned out Mia did
a good job keeping everything up to date, filled, and in order.

Parker came in around ten that morning dragging
his feet. He looked exhausted so I kept my distance since he didn’t seem like
he was looking for any socialization. It’d been three days since we stood in my
driveway. He said he wasn’t ready for this to end, but now I wasn’t so sure.

I passed his toolbox to give Sean the purchase
order for the Chevy truck he had parts for, and Parker looked up from the
Impala engine he was working on.

Avoiding his penetrating gaze, I began to walk
back into the office when I felt his warm fingers grasp my arm securely. He led
me down a long, dark hallway to the parts room.

“What are you doing? I have to answer the
phones.” I giggled as he continued to pull me inside. Whatever he had in mind
seemed urgent.

The large metal door slammed shut behind him as
he reached over his head and pulled his T-shirt off in one quick motion. “You
really have no idea what you do to me.” He growled before pushing me completely
inside the parts room. His lips greedily sought out mine, desperate for
contact.

The only sounds beside the faint hum of the
generator running were the air tools and the clanging of Parker’s belt as he
freed himself. I didn’t wait for any invitation before I was shedding my own
clothes.

His mouth returned to mine as he moved one of his
hands above my head and pressed forward. His other hand pulled my thigh up for
access. I was completely surrounded by him as he pushed me harder and harder
into the wall.

I couldn’t focus. He and I were both sweating. He
grunted, pushing and pulling me against him, holding me close but not nearly
close enough. Crawling inside him seemed like the only logical answer. He
seemed so different from the shy Parker in Moab. This Parker seemed focused on
one thing
—
me.

“Fuck,” he drawled out breathlessly, throwing his
head back when he pushed inside me. His hands roughly pulled my shirt off. His
mouth caught mine, hungry, wet, and forceful.

I was overwhelmed with emotion. The first two
times, though awkward, were gentle, slow, and emotional. This time it was all
about need,
our
need. Nothing about it was controlled. We were barely
able to keep our footing without falling.

I was so turned on by his sudden, frantic need,
the warm tingling in my belly intensified, spreading throughout my entire body
in a burst of white pulsing lights.

“Oh God, Parker!” I screamed as the first orgasm
I’d ever experienced while having sex rushed to the surface.

Parker jerked forward, his body tensing as he bit
into the skin covering my collarbone. “Fuck, Rowan.” He moaned against the
skin, his tongue following a path towards my neck. “I missed you so much.” And
then with two more quick movements, he moaned as his orgasm shook him.

His hand squeezed my thigh, pulling me into his
hips one last time as the last of his orgasm ebbed.

It took us a good five minutes of heavy breathing
before we finally spoke, my fingers tracing the indentation on my shoulder from
his teeth. Part of me hoped it left a mark.

“I couldn’t take watching you strut by like that
any longer,” he said sheepishly, dragging his fingertips of the mark on my
shoulder. “I had to have you.”

“It’s okay.” I smiled, reaching up to kiss his
lips. “I enjoyed it. It felt really good.” I tried to hint that I finally had
an orgasm during sex, but I think he could tell.

Parker groaned, his head falling to my shoulder,
and then he smiled. “Don’t say that unless you want me to attack you again…I
am
seventeen after all,” he said with a twinkle to his beautiful features.

“In that case…” I silenced his lips with another
passionate kiss, one that had the seventeen-year-old in him ready for more.

We spent a good hour in that parts room, and it
wasn’t awkward anymore. There was no accidental junk punches or hair pulling.
However, when he did it on purpose, it was rather enjoyable.

“Not that I really want to get back to work with
you here…tempting me...” He paused to kiss along my jaw, his hands cupping my
face, forcing me to look at him. “But I need to get that Impala delivered
tonight or Rick will have my ass. And I don’t have any more condoms.”

I only nodded. You couldn’t have wiped the smile
from my face even if you scrubbed hard. I spent the rest of the day that way.

Parker and I avoided each other the rest of the
day. Like he said, he was seventeen and he didn’t have any more condoms.

After work, I went home and had dinner with my
parents. Just around the time I was getting ready for bed, I heard a familiar
four-stroke coming up the trail behind our house. Peeking out my bedroom
window, I saw the flash of yellow that I loved so much. He came to see me.

Fist pumping the air took place.

My dad came into my room when he heard it, and I
knew Parker was in the driveway waiting for me. He leaned against the door
frame with a smile. “It’s late you know.”

“It’s not that late,” I said, throwing a
sweatshirt over my tank top and sliding a pair of flip-flops on. “I won’t be
long.”

“Okay.” He smiled. “But be back inside by
eleven…all right?”

It was only nine so that gave me two hours alone
with Parker. I was all for that.

We made it out to my tree house in the woods. I’d
never been out there at night because for one, I was scared of the dark, and
two, I was scared of the dark.

Parker had a good time with that and every few
minutes his eyes would dart around the thick forest surrounding us. “What was
that?”

I would elbow him, slide a little closer, and
then bury myself in his arms.

Parker smiled down at me, pulling my T-shirt up a
little. His cool hands found my heated skin. “How sturdy is this thing?”

“Sturdy enough.” I laughed, straddling him. Then
I had other ideas and wanted to try something different. Something we hadn’t
done yet.

With our clothes scattered around the weathered
wooden floor, I moved down his legs and knelt before him. Tiny rocks dug into
my knees, but the look on his face was what kept me going.

“What are you doing?” He looked up at me
curiously.

When I moved forward so my mouth was on his hip,
I think he understood, but there was an internal war waging between
sheepishness and lust. When I wrapped my hand around his length, his eyes fell
closed, he and bucked into the tight circle of my hand.

“Fuck, Ro…” he whispered, immediately opening his
eyes. I briefly met his gaze steadily before I leaned forward and pressed a
kiss to the trail of hair beneath his belly button. He groaned.

When my tongue flicked out and traced his
hardness, he breathed again and I looked up at his face. He was watching me.

“Is this okay?” I asked, my hands rested on his
upper thighs.

“It’s more than okay.” Parker nodded, his cheeks
flushed. “Can I…” He paused and swallowed again.

“What?” I coaxed, wondering what he wanted. My
hand wrapped around him again.

He licked his lips and his eyes widened slightly.
“Can I…when I…come…”

I saved him the mortification of having to ask
“Can I come in your mouth?” and nodded yes to his unspoken question.

He looked at me, mildly uncertain for a beat
before his eyes closed again.

When I finally took him in my mouth, I felt his
fingers tighten around the back of my neck. I slid my lips slowly along the
length of him, memorizing the texture, the heat, and the taste of him. He was
too big to fit all of him in, but I still tried and ended up gagging.

Parker was so caught up in the moment I doubted
he even noticed. Glancing up, I saw that he was watching everything, his eyes
heated and heavy-lidded, his chest rising and falling with each ragged breath.

As I watched his face, his headed dropped back
against the floor of the tree house. “God, Ro,” he gasped, and his voice was
rough and needy, exactly what I was going for.

His hips rocked to meet my movements, and from
his posture, his face, and his movements, I could tell that he was nearly lost
to his need.