Everything Changes (15 page)

Thank God we weren’t in plain view of anyone. It
would have looked pornographic to say the least. Although, I did wish the
sticks were watching. I had half the mind to moan real loud just to call
attention to us, but I didn’t. Instead, I enjoyed the time alone in his arms
without watchful eyes.

“You are so pretty, Ro.” His voice was a little
husky as his hips shifted once again. This time I moaned when I felt the bulge
through his shorts. The friction from his was delightful as his hungry lips
searched for any spot of bare skin I had.

He let out a low laugh that shook his chest when
I moaned again, this time he pulled back. “As much as I want to hear those
moans get louder…and as much as I want you...” he kissed along my collarbone,
his hands grasping the sides of my face “…we can’t do this on my bike. For one,
it’s not really safe…and two…
well,
there are people all around us. I’d
rather them not see you naked.”

Naked? Holy shit!
He had
plans. Plans I was more than happy finalizing. The excitement running through
me was enough to make me lightheaded. Just thinking about it made my stomach
tie in knots, my legs tingle, and my insides feel needy and impatient.

“You want to see me naked?” I vocalized. It
seemed I was on a roll with embarrassment. I wasn’t about to stop now.

Parker quirked a questioning but amused brow at
me. “That’s all you picked up from everything I said to you?” He smiled.

Oh God, that smile.
It
sent me hurtling over the edge of control every time and was also the only
thing that brought me right back.

I wasn’t sure whether it was the smell of the
night air, but I felt such a strong connection with him in that moment. There
were about a hundred people around us but all I saw was him
—
smiling.

Kayla found us in this awkward position, and I
made absolutely no attempt to move. Parker seemed okay with that as well when
his hand traced circles along the band of my jean shorts.

“Hey, Parker, me and Anna were heading out. You
wanna join us?”

“No thanks,” he answered quickly, tightening his
grip on me. “I’m fine here.”

“Suit yourself,” she said, turning away to walk
back towards the other sticks. I could see Justin and
Addy
off in the distance by the pool watching us.

Parker nudged my knee with his and gave me a
crooked smile, shaking his head. “You’re beautiful…they’re superficial.” I knew
why he said something like that. Wasn’t that what all men were required to say
when they felt their girlfriends were jealous?

“You don’t have to lie to me.”

He was looking at me, really looking at me as
though he was trying to make me understand. “I would
never
lie to you.”

My breaths were slow and deep. The world slowed
and I didn’t know what to do or say.

He seemed to have the same problem.

It also seemed to take him a moment to find his
voice. “You want to take a walk with me? There’s a fireworks display starting
soon.”

My eyes that were once focused on my hands looked
up at Parker grinning in front of me, his cheeks flushed.

I just nodded eagerly. After that teaser and
display of skills on his bike, I was ready to show him my own display. Thinking
about it sent me into this hot flushed and prickly panic attack. I was panting
so much as I removed myself from the bike I sounded like I had just finished
ran some marathon.

His hands caught me just before I was about to
throw my leg over the bike to climb down. “Stay, let’s take a ride instead.”

If he said ride one more time, I was actually
going to ride him whether he let me or not. I was done waiting. I was done
playing this seventeen-year-old virgin. I had plans. Riding plans.

So I stayed on his bike, only I moved behind him,
clinging to his back as we rode through Arches National Park to find a quiet
spot to watch the fireworks. Before we left, Parker grabbed some water and
blankets for us along with a few snacks that I carried in a backpack.

By the time we reached a quiet spot that wasn’t
swarming with people, the fireworks were starting.

When we got off the bike, the sky lit up the
canyons with each burst of color. The loud cracks echoed through the town. I
smiled watching them when I sensed Parker’s eyes on me.

He laid the blanket on the ground next to his
bike, motioning for me to come near him.

My heart pounded in my chest so fast it made my
entire body hurt. I was sure this was the night we’d finally have sex. And then
that just made me prickly and hot all over again. I was sweating like crazy and
could barely catch my breath.

Once I was beside him, it didn’t take long before
we were pawing at our clothes, fireworks going off in the distance as my back
pressed into the rocky ground. His skin glowed under the light, illuminating
just enough so I could see his eyes shining down on me.

Soon only our shorts were left, and I was working
on that quickly. We stared at each other while he removed mine. It was all
happening so fast that I was getting nervous. It was like my heart was beating
in my toes, and I was dizzy. I could even feel my scalp sweating.

Parker’s gaze broke from mine first as he watched
me unzip his shorts, pulling at his belt. It took him a minute, but he got them
all the way off and tossed them next to mine in front of his bike which was
parked next to us. I could smell the gas along with the burning of the
fireworks mixing with the honey and pine smell of Parker.

“I’ve never…” he murmured against my hot skin,
nudging my legs apart with his knees. Beads of sweat from my scalp ran down my
neck. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.” He shifted slightly at his
admission, his hands trembling. His eyes,
oh those eyes
, told me with
trepidation that we both felt the same in that moment.

I brought my hands up, running them over his
back, feeling the contours of his muscles as he hovered over me. I kept
thinking about how jealous I was all day and how silly that seemed now with his
gaze fixated on me.

He moaned into my mouth when my hand reached
between us to grasp him. I tensed when he settled between my legs, our skin
meeting with no barriers for the first time.

“Me either,” I finally whispered, looking up at
him.

The desire between us was mutual, a need that
could only be met by this.

It felt unfamiliar to have him this close, but I
took comfort in knowing this was us
—
perfect. Parker took a deep, shaky breath before
reaching for the condom in his shorts beside us. After a moment, he relaxed
above me but made no attempt to move or push forward.

Sometimes my naïve side scared even me, but I
knew nothing about sex, aside from what we’d done so far felt wonderful. I also
had no idea if this would be the same.
Addy
said it
hurt when she and Justin did it, but then she liked it after the initial shock
of it all.

Parker wasn’t moving, instead it seemed as though
he was waiting for me to tell him I was okay with it. I was more than okay with
it. Or maybe it was that he didn’t know what he was supposed to do next. I
certainly didn’t, but I gathered that we needed to move in some way.

“Please try…” I whispered against his cheek,
kissing along his jaw before finding his lips. He sighed when our lips met, and
he pulled my right leg up his hip.

“Rowan…” he began and then his breath caught as
he pushed forward. He seemed to forget what he was about to say. His muscles
tensed as did his grip on my leg. His right hand tangled in my hair. I opened
my eyes to see him focused on my face watching me, and I managed to reach my
hand up and stroke his cheek. We stared at each other letting the sensation of
our connection consume us. I’d never felt so alive as I did right then, burning
with nerves, excitement, and fear of what this would mean.

It was clumsy and awkward as we tried to figure
out what we actually needed to do, but when we did get it together, we both had
entirely different reactions.

“Jesus,” he moaned, sliding inside me. His
stomach muscles flexed and then tightened, arms shaking.

“Holy shit!” I screamed in a sound that echoed
off the boulders around us. My thighs automatically squeezed around his waist,
and my back arched as my body recoiled from the contact.

Like I said, we both had completely different
reactions.

Parker stopped immediately, panicked, and pulled
out completely.

“I’m so sorry, Rowan,” he said frantically. Even
in the shadow that concealed his expression, I could see the fear radiating
from him. Staying between my legs, I could feel his erection against the inside
of my thigh, his body trembling.

“Don’t stop,” I pleaded, reaching for his
shoulders, trying to pull him back inside. “Please, Parker.” I didn’t want him
to stop in fear this would never happen again. I waited and waited for him to
notice me. Now here we were,
together
.

Holding himself above me, he looked down, his
brow furrowing with uncertainty. He wanted this but he didn’t want to hurt me.
“I hurt you
―
” he wanted to say more but stopped when I placed
my fingers to his lips.

“I know but please…don’t stop, Parker. I
want
you.” I felt his stomach muscles contracting steadily with each breath he took.
“Please…I’m begging you.”

His expression was one of sadness mixed evenly
with want. I felt him move, his erection sliding along my inner thigh until he
was there, waiting.

Taking in a shaky, nervous breath, his hips moved
again. It hurt and burned but was soothing all at the same time.

Parker gasped, his breath catching in his throat.
“Fuck…” he shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut “...Ro, I’m not gonna last
long.” He moved again, this time sliding with ease. His breathing intensified
and I wasn’t sure if I was breathing. My eyes were wide, my body tense. Maybe I
was in shock from the pain, or maybe it was the overwhelming feelings surging
through me, as though every nerve ending was exposed and on fire, sending
signals to my brain. Except my brain was on lockdown, too scared to move, too
scared to feel.

Parker breathed against my neck, wetting me with
his hot breath. His arms tightened around my body, pulling me into his
movements. They weren’t forceful but they weren’t gentle. Each movement was
easier but also more confusing. It was all happening so quickly I just wanted
to stop him. But I couldn’t in fear he’d pull away again. Instead, I hung onto
him as tight as I could, desperately clutching to anything he gave.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered and then squeezed me
again. This time his grasp on my hips sent a wave of pain radiating through my
body and I whimpered. Parker didn’t seem to notice this time, and now he moved
even faster, grunting and pushing into me harder, each one of his movements
causing the blanket to slide against the sand.

I realized then what he was sorry for when his
body began to jerk in erratic movements. Shaking, he let out a soft grunt, and
my name fell quietly from his lips.

It was all over in a matter of minutes, and I
realized this was not the kind of sex I read about in books. Maybe it was
because it was our first time, but I didn’t focus on that so much as I did on
the fact that he finally gave in. Out of all those girls hanging on his every
word tonight, it was me he was so intimate with. It was me who he shared his
innocence with.

I ran my hands through his hair as he lifted his
head and gazed down at me. “I’m sorry. That probably sucked for you,” he said
quietly, shifting to the side. With another shaky breath, he fell back to the
rocky ground with a groan.

I smiled. “It was great.”

“You’re so full of shit right now.” He laughed
breathlessly, his bare chest shaking with the movement. His hands came up to
his face and he scrubbed them over his eyes. Only problem was that he had sand
on them. “Shit…” He laughed, trying to blink away the grains.

We lay there until the fireworks dwindled down
and Parker wanted to try again.

“I need redemption,” was his answer for wanting
to try again so soon.

So we did. This time he made sure I found
pleasure first before he even tried entering me again. I also cried when he
pulled out this time. I felt the tears the first time, but this time I couldn’t
control it. Parker knew. He had to considering I was soaking his arm and
shaking in broken sobs, but he never said anything at the time. He just held me
tight against his chest.

“Did I hurt you?” he finally asked after my tears
slowed.

It took me a minute to formulate a response that
wouldn’t sound like a seventeen-year-old emotional train wreck. “No, it wasn’t
that.”

We were quiet again after that, just taking comfort
in each other’s arms and watched the colors light the sky around us.

“I hate to end this but…we’re in a state park.
Once that sun peaks over that rock…” he gestured towards the east, titling his
head to the side, and then kissed my bare shoulder “...that hill will be
swarming with photographers.” His eyes met mine again. “I’m not sharing this
view.”