Every One Of Me (29 page)

My heart stuttered thinking about spending the rest of my
life being handled by him.

He kissed me again, slow and tender, exploring my lips and
mouth like he wanted to savor me. His hands dropped down to the hem of my shirt
and his fingers slipped underneath, sending a jolt through me at the touch of
his warm fingers. I wrapped my hands around the back of his neck and deepened
the kiss.

He growled against my lips and his hands became frantic,
lifting my shirt up and over my head. He bent his head to the hollow at the
base of my throat and pressed his lips against the sensitive skin, inhaling
deeply and murmuring things that I couldn't make sense of because my head was
swimming with heat.

He deftly unhooked my bra and his body covered mine as he
laid me back on the bed. His lips came back to mine greedily while his
calloused hands found my swollen breasts and rubbed over the stiff peaks, sending
liquid heat down to my core.

A moan tore from my throat, unable to control myself, and he
smiled and lifted his head to gaze at me. "We can't be loud here,
baby."

Shit.
I completely forgot where we were. My mom was
probably just down the hall.

He saw the moment the thought registered and buried his face
in my neck as he laughed. I would have laughed, too, but his hands were still
roaming over my body, worshipping me and making me crazy aroused.

"I can be quiet," I whispered, shutting my eyes
tightly so I could concentrate on getting the words out instead of where his
hands were.

"You sure? We can go to my place…"

"I don't think I can wait, Charlie."

He kissed my neck and made a path up and across my jaw to my
swollen lips that were aching with the need to be kissed again. I moved my
hands down his back until my fingers slipped under his shirt and scored his
skin with my nails.

The growl that came from deep in his chest was so sexy, my
skin flushed as the rush of blood scorched my veins. No way I could wait now.
Not with his taste on my tongue and his perfectly sculpted body touching my
skin.

He didn't say another word. He just tugged at my jeans while
I struggled to pull his shirt off so I could get my hands on his hard chest. By
the time we were both naked, all control had been stripped from us as well.

Our bodies ground against each other and our arms couldn't
hold each other tight enough. The feel of his skin against mine was almost too
much and I had to close my eyes to compartmentalize the pleasure and keep my
head on straight.

He hitched my knee over his hip and pressed the tip of his
erection against my swollen core. When he didn't move any further, I opened my
eyes to see what was taking him so long. I needed him inside me or I think my
heart would burst.

His piercing green eyes had darkened and filled with so much
heat, I felt like I was being held against the licking flames of a fire.

"I need to see you, Tess.
All
of you. Don't
close off any part of you because it's too much. I'll take care of you."
His eyes softened and my body relaxed. "I promise."

He kissed me so softly, if I hadn't had my eyes opened, I
wouldn't have known it. When his heated eyes found mine again, he thrust into
me slowly, stealing my breath and making the pressure in my core build.

He pulled back, then thrust forward again, going deeper and
making my toes curl. He did it again until he was buried to the hilt. His jaw
clenched as he fought for control, but his eyes never left mine. I tilted my
hips, urging him to move, and he gasped at the movement and pressed against me,
pinning me down with a hand gripping my hip tightly.

"Please, Charlie."

He once again buried his face in my neck and ground his hips
against mine, not making any move to pull out, just pushing to reach deeper
inside of me. He inhaled my scent and groaned, the vibration sending goosebumps
across my skin.

Then he began to move. Slowly at first, finding a rhythm
that sent me soaring.

"I love you, Tess," he breathed.

This man
could
handle me. He could handle
every
one
of me.

Charlie

I never thought, in a million years, that I would wake up
next to Tess in her bed, at her mother's house, completely naked, with her
mother standing in the doorway smiling like a cat who ate the canary.

It was very strange.

"Do I need to make breakfast?" she asked quietly,
not wanting to wake Tess who was pressed against my chest with my arms around
her.

For a moment, I thought I was having a nightmare. Like we
were back in high school and I had been caught doing naughty things and needed
to jump out of the bed and out the window before I got the shit kicked out of
me. The smile on Sarah's face threw me off and it took me a moment to realize
that she was just happy and not itching to pummel me.

"No, thank you, Sarah. I'm going to take Tess out for
breakfast today," I whispered groggily, shifting to make sure the blankets
were covering both me and Tess so maybe she would think we were just in bed in
our pajamas and nothing else had happened.

"Good. I'll bring some boxes down from the attic so you
guys can start packing up her stuff."

She laughed at the shock on my face. How could she possibly
know that Tess was going to move in with me when I had just asked her last
night?

"Don't look so surprised, Charlie. I know you better than
you think. You aren't one to wait too long to make your move anymore,
especially now that you finally got her back," she said with a dismissive
wave. "Plus, I know my Tess. She may be slow on the uptake sometimes about
you, but she loves you."

With that, she walked out of the room and quietly shut the
door behind her.

I looked over at the clock and saw that it was already 8
o'clock in the morning. Apparently, we were both exhausted from the last few
days. Tess stirred in my arms and I kissed the top of her head and rubbed my
hand over the soft skin of her arm.

"Mmmm, ça fait du bien."

I froze.

Shit.
I don't think I would ever get used to that.

"Jessi?"

Her entire body went rigid and she slowly pushed herself up.

Seeing her blue eyes looking back at me was like watching a
ten car pile-up happen right in front of you and not being able to stop your
car from smashing into the fray.

"You? What are you doing in my bed again?"

Okay, but the accent was definitely sexy and I could
possibly
get used to it.

We both sat up and she scrambled to find her clothes,
picking them up and scowling at them as she examined them. Watching her move
around the room, completely naked, with no shame whatsoever, made me nervous.
Jessi shouldn't be comfortable with a stranger watching her.

"Jessi, remember what Benny and I talked to you about
last time?"

"Yes, I do," she snapped and jerked her pants over
her legs angrily. "We need to talk, no?"

I sighed, feeling the happiness from seeing Tess in my arms
after a peaceful night float away to be replaced by that heavy, sinking feeling
of anxiousness. This woman wasn't anything like Tess, and I had to get through
to her.

"Yeah, we need to talk." I pulled my pants on and
slipped the t-shirt over my head. "I'll go get everyone. Come downstairs
when you are ready, okay?" I automatically moved to kiss her forehead, but
she jerked away from me and I realized what I had done. Still, my heart sank at
the rejection and I backed away to the door. "I'm sorry, I just… we'll see
you in a few minutes."

I heard her huff of frustration just before I shut the door
behind me. I squeezed my eyes shut and pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to
chase away the coming headache that was prodding against my eyes.

"It's still Tess," I muttered to myself.
"Don't forget that."

***

Sarah did not like Jessi. Benny was still just fascinated by
the fact that her eyes changed so dramatically. I felt like my heart was being
torn from my chest. Not just because this woman didn't want anything to do with
me, but because it would tear Tess apart to know what this woman had told me.

I had been waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs after
telling Benny and Sarah what was going on. They were waiting in the kitchen and
I felt like my shaking knees were going to fail and my body would crash through
the floor.

I was terrified.

After finally getting to a good place with Tess, this was
going to force a huge jump backwards.

When she finally emerged from the bedroom, my heart raced
impossibly faster. She climbed down the stairs and stopped, inches in front of
me, glaring.

"I do not want you interfering in my life," she
warned me. "I am happy with way I live."

Her accent was thicker today and she was angry. The two
seemed to go together really well.

"I do not commit," she bit out, then walked away
from me and into the kitchen.

If Tess hadn't told me she loved me already, that right
there would have been the thing to chase me away. Failure would have been the
only
option. But Tess
did
love me. Of that, I had no doubt, and even though
her words cut right through me and left me bleeding, failure was
not
an
option.

An hour later, after Sarah decided she better make breakfast
since we weren't going anywhere, we had figured out who Jessi was. It made
sense actually.

Tess had always been worried about giving herself to anyone.
Almost every single one of the guys she dated before had broken it off with her
because they realized they could get easy action elsewhere. She never knew this
of course. Overhearing locker room banter forced my hand a few times and those
ex-boyfriends had ended up with a black eye. After that, the jerks stayed away
from her. I had never been a concern to them before, I was just known as
Tessa's scrawny best friend, but after I first met Camryn without realizing it,
I was no longer going to fade into the background. I needed to protect her and
that included keeping horny boys who couldn't keep their mouths shut, away from
her.

We had spent one night going through the tortuous
conversation of why she wanted to save herself - tortuous for me because
picturing her with anyone else was like a knife to the heart. I wouldn't have
objected to
any
reason, I was just glad that no other guy had taken
something like that from her. I wanted to be the one she gave it to, but back
then, I
knew
it would never happen. The reason she did give me,
surprised me. A lot. And it made me want to pummel those guys all over again
for hurting her.

"Giving that up would be like handing over my heart to
someone and hoping they see the 'handle with care' label before they dive in to
tear it open. I'm not the kind of person that can separate those two things at
all."

I fell in love with her even more when she told me that, but
I never told her. I just stood off to the side and watched her continue on with
her life without knowing how I felt. When she decided to give that away, she
was going to give
everything.
I wanted everything from her.

Now, sitting at the dining table listening to Jessi tell
Benny the same things, but pointing out that she - after a long line of broken
hearts - could separate sex and love, and said that she
had
many times, tore
me apart. Benny stole glances at me as we listened, pity flowing from her eyes.
I felt my shoulders slump further and further until Sarah grabbed my hand
underneath the table and tried to squeeze some hope back into me.

She leaned into me so no one could hear her, "Jessi may
be Tess, but Tess isn't Jessi."

It was a good reminder, but it did nothing to help my
anxiety. Tess was committed to me. She would never be anything but loyal and I
trusted her with every fiber of my being, but… I couldn't trust Jessi. Not just
because she had no sense of commitment to me, but because she had no sense of
commitment to
anyone
. By the look in her eyes, she would sleep with the
first man that she came across just to prove it to me.

I hadn't spoken a word the whole time we had been sitting
there afraid it would release the nausea that had bubbled up in my stomach. I
couldn't sit there any longer, though. I was slowly losing my mind and my
confidence in my ability to keep calm, so I shoved away from the table and made
my way to the door.

"Charlie, where are you going?"

"I need to go home. I have some… things to do. Let me
know when Tess is back."

I hated leaving her. I hated walking away from her without
saying goodbye, without kissing her. But I hated the look on her face more.
Smug and heartless.

On Jessi's face. This wasn't my Tess.

I looked at her for several long moments, unable to tear my
eyes away from her. She was my life and this woman - this alter - was going to
tear her away from me if I couldn't straighten things out and I didn't see that
happening anytime soon.

Then something happened that made my shoulders rise up in
hope, just slightly. Her eyes flickered with heat as she looked back at me, the
smug grin on her face faded to concern and the words that - a few minutes
before - I thought I would never tell her, slipped out.

"I love you and I won't give up. Whether your name is
Jessamyn Rainier, Lydia Cooper, Camryn Garrett, or John Smith, you are still
Tess, and Tess is staying with me whether the rest of you want to or not."
My voice came out harder than I had intended, but she needed to understand that
I wasn't going to waiver. Tess was mine. Every single one of her was
mine
.

***

My house was a disaster.

I had spent the last two hours ripping it apart. I needed to
get to the gym and hit the bag over and over until every knuckle had broken and
the pain took over. That kind of pain was better than this kind.