Every One Of Me (24 page)

She was so soft, small and fragile in my arms. I felt like I
could crush her if I held on too tight. That thought didn't pass through
lightly either. I had to hold onto her tightly, I could lose her if I didn't,
but at the same time… would I crush her? Would holding onto her the way I
wanted make her lose herself?

Benny's words came back to me. I was shaking Tess up more
than she had ever been shaken before, but it could be a good thing.

"I'm sorry ahead of time, Charlie," Tess muttered
against my lips.

I pulled back, confused and a little anxious. "For
what?"

She kissed me lightly before entwining our fingers and
pulling me into the bedroom. "For whatever happens tonight that might not
make sense to you. I've felt really… off, since this afternoon.
Disconnected."

Disconnected.

She had used that word before, but where?

"You seem to keep me grounded so I'm not too
worried," she said quietly and kicked off her heels.

I decided not to worry either. Actually, the sight of her
hands reaching back to unzip her dress made the decision for me. I stepped into
her space and grasped her upper arms, pressing for her to turn her back to me.

"Let me. Please."

Her skin flushed the most glorious shade of pink as she
turned around and dropped her hands to her sides. Sliding a zipper down had
never been so erotic. I couldn't help but slip my fingers inside her dress and
run my fingers down her spine as I separated the metal teeth. She shivered,
very noticeably, and that sent a surge of pride coursing through my veins. I
affected her and knowing that gave me the confidence I needed to understand how
my shaking her up could really be
great
.

I let the dress fall to the ground to pool at her feet and
helped her step out of it. She turned back to me as I got a good look at what
had been underneath that bit of fabric all night.

"So, I-I was right," I breathed.

One dark, perfectly sculpted eyebrow rose in question.

"You
are
trying to kill me. I know it."

The bra she was wearing was black lace, but just barely. It
looked like whoever made it, forgot to sew a couple of things together. I could
clearly see the hard peaks of her nipples and the rosy skin surrounding them.
Her panties matched perfectly and I suddenly realized why Benny had taken my
credit card earlier.

I would have to let her borrow it again for a few hours to
pay her back for this.

"Benny forced me," Tess replied with a giggle.

Maybe I'd let her borrow it for a whole day.

I don't know how much time had passed as I took in every
detail of her. She was exquisite. Her skin glowed with her bashfulness and it
reminded me of how innocent she truly was.

 She was perfect.

When she started to squirm under my stare, I realized that
holding still was no longer an option. Neither was talking. I pulled her
against me and kissed her tenderly, conveying every emotion I was feeling into
that kiss. She responded immediately and I was lost.

I made love to her, slowly, savoring the feel of her around
me. The scent of her arousal nearly zapped my control, along with the softness
of her skin against mine. She was breathless as I thrust into her, holding
tightly to the last threads keeping me from consuming her. She was hot and
tight as her body gripped mine.

"I love you, Charlie."

I heard the snap of those threads just before I lost myself
all over again. Those words coming from her mouth were my downfall. She gasped
as I lifted her hips off the bed and thrust harder.

When she came, I crushed my mouth to hers and swallowed her
cries as I followed after her.

Disconnected? No. I had never felt more connected in my
life. Connected with the woman that I would spend the rest of my life
worshipping.

Tessa

Have you ever woken up from a dream that was so real you
felt the effects of whatever happened in the dream? For example, I had a dream
once when I was in the 7th grade that I had gone sledding down this giant hill
and crashed into a snow drift and went flying through the air and landed in an
ice cold river. When I woke up, it felt like I had been run over by a train and
my fingers and toes were freezing to the point of pain.

I hate those kinds of dreams. Always have. They always made
me question reality. Did it really happen and I was just suffering from some
memory loss, or was I just going crazy and needed to see someone about it?

Then I learned that apparently, this was very common. Lots
of people have really vivid dreams and feel the after effects of it. It's just
part of the whole workings of the mind.

The only difference? It was when they were actually asleep
and dreaming.

I never realized until now that my mind was doing this to me
more than just at night and being the naïve and unknowing girl that I was back
then, I wrote it off to being under too much stress. After all, I was always
told that I suffered from anxiety attacks and that I had to learn to manage
myself better. Why would I assume any differently?

As I laid there in Charlie's arms, after having been
thoroughly loved and sated, I remembered that feeling. Those moments when I
'woke up' and felt strange while immediately forgetting what I had just dreamt.

They weren't dreams, though. It was reality. I would be at
school and all of a sudden snap out of some reverie that had taken over. I
would be sitting in class and the teacher would be in the middle of a lesson
that I had missed half of. Charlie always helped me out back then. I would tell
him that I had just dozed off and missed half the class and he would laugh at
my supposed laziness and lend me his notes or help me with the material. I could
never make myself question it.

Maybe some part of me - a deep part of me -  knew that it
would open a door that would change everything, and I wasn't ready for that. I
could analyze it for days and probably get absolutely nowhere and that wasn't
something I couldn't waste my time on at the moment.

I smiled as Charlie ran his fingers up and down my arm,
forcing goose bumps to rise at his attention. He chuckled at the full body
shiver that ran through me.

I don't know exactly what happened after the sound of his
laugh, but it would end up changing everything I thought I knew.

***

Charlie

It happened so fast, so suddenly, I couldn't quite take her
seriously at first.

Tess sat up with a jolt, the sheet held to her breasts
tightly to cover herself. She looked at me incredulously and for a moment, I
thought I might have said something awful without realizing it.

Her voice was normal, but lazier. "Qui diable
êtes-vous? Pourquoi êtes-vous dans mon lit?"

"What?"

"Qui êtes-vous?" She ran a hand through her hair
and huffed, "Je dois être ivre."

"Tess, what the hell are you saying?" I put my
hand on her shoulder and she flinched away from me with wide eyes.

Her eyes.

They were
blue
. A really light blue.

"What the hell?" I shut my eyes tightly and shook
my head to clear my mind. When I opened them again, her eyes were still blue. I
leaned in closer.

"Pas possible! Partir! S'il vous plaît." She
smacked me on the face just as I got close enough to tell that I was definitely
not seeing things. Her eyes were definitely blue.

Oh shit!

You know those moments when you realize that something
significant just happened that could possibly change the entire course of your
life and you are leaning more towards the 'not good' side of it? This was one
of those moments.

My stomach dropped and the blood that was coursing through
my body sounded as loud as a jet flying directly over my head. This was an
alter I hadn't met before and I knew that Tess was going to be furious. I had
to think fast before the situation got out of control. If it was even
in
control
in the first place.

"I'm Charlie. I don't know any French so if you can
speak English…"

She narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips, seeming to take
in my face and trying to figure out who I was while making sure I knew to keep
my distance.

"Anglais?"

I nodded vigorously, "If that means
English
,
then yes."

"I am sorry. I speak English, I just… who are
you?"

She spoke English very well for having just spoken like a
true French woman. She had an accent of course, and to be honest, it was sexy
as hell.

"I'm Charlie. Your boyfriend. Well, I'm Tessa's
boyfriend and you are… well, Tess, but I guess you may not know that. Oh
God," I dropped my head into my hands and told myself to wake up. This
wasn't happening. Tess was already worried about having two alters and I have
no idea why or how this one could be missed. I was going to have a serious talk
with Dr. Geoffrey. Or Tess was.

"Tessa?" she asked, still clutching tightly to the
sheet and starting to move away from me.

I hurried to the edge of the bed and stood, bending to pick
up my jeans and pull them on quickly. I needed Benny.

"I will be right back. Why don't you get dressed and
then we can talk. Please, don't leave." I pulled open the door and looked back
at her. It didn't look like she was going anywhere anytime soon if the lost
expression on her face was any indication.

Leaving her in there alone probably wasn't the most well
thought out thing to do. I had no other choice, though. I ran down the hall -
shirtless and freaking out - and started pounding on the door to Benny's hotel
room. I prayed to God they were back from the club.

"Yeah, yeah, just a minute!" I heard Benny shout
from the other side.

"Hurry up, Benny. We got a problem."

She opened the door and I almost flew back to the wall
behind me. Her hair was an absolute mess and she looked like she was going to
strangle me with her bare hands. It was terrifying.

"What the hell could possibly be happening that you
need to wake me up--"

I didn't wait for her to finish. I grabbed her arm and
pulled her down the hall. She was only wearing a skimpy tank top and the
tiniest shorts I had ever seen, but after seeing the look on my face, she
didn't protest.

"What the hell, Charlie? What happened?"

I dragged her into the hotel suite and found Tess just
stepping out of the bedroom and pulling on some pants. I kept my voice low as I
spoke to Benny while closing the door. I didn't know what it would do if I told
an alter that she was uh… well, an alter. "Tess switched. But, I don't
know who it is. It's not Lydia and it's definitely not Camryn."

Benny's eyes widened as she stared at Tess who was now
standing in the bedroom doorway looking confused and a little wary. "I
knew it," she said under her breath.

"Who are you?" Tess asked.

"I'm Benny. Who are you?"

I flinched at Benny's no nonsense attitude. Maybe she wasn't
the correct person to welcome this new character into our lives.

"My name is Jessamyn Rainier. I am sorry if I wandered
in here… I must have had too much to drink tonight."

"She's French?" Benny exclaimed and turned her
wide eyes back to me. The disturbing part of it? She was smiling.

"Yes, I am French, but I speak English fluently. I apologize
if my accent makes it hard to understand."

"No! No way. You sound hot!" Benny laughed and
took a step closer to her. "You have just enough of an accent to seriously
make me consider switching teams."

I smacked Benny on the arm and tried to look like a scolding
adult. I should have known better than that by now because Benny was her own
person and she didn't take to scolding well at all.

"Ow! Fuck, Charlie! That hurt." She rubbed her arm
and glared at me. "I'm telling Tess."

"What the hell do we do, Benny?"

"There's nothing we
can
do, Charlie. Except, get
to know her." She took another step toward Tess - or I guess Jessamyn -
and gestured for her to sit on the couch. "We have a lot to talk about,
Jessamyn."

"Please, call me Jessi," she said and smiled widely
at Benny while her eyes flickered over to me nervously.

"Don't you worry about him. He is new to this stuff,
but he's a good guy. Hopefully you fall in love with him," Benny said with
a shrug.

I rolled my eyes. How the hell did Tess get along with this
woman?

"I am confused. Charlie said he was my boyfriend, but I
do not have a boyfriend."

I leaned against the back of the couch, closer to Benny, as
Tess - Jessi - sat down. Scenarios were flying through my mind. The one that
was causing the most turmoil, though, was the thought of telling Tess that she
had another alter. She had talked to me about the time it would take to find
integration with the two she knew about. This was going to make her feel less
hope than she already had. How would I tell her that?

"He
is
your boyfriend. Well, he's Tessa's
boyfriend. You are Tessa
and
you are Jessi."

Her brow scrunched up and she looked like she was about to
bail.

"Holy shit! Your eyes are blue. Physiological changes?
Tess is going to freeeeak."

I rolled my eyes again and was starting to get a headache,
"That's what I have been trying to tell you."

"Okay, so I will give you the short version and then we
can get into details in the morning because I am exhausted. Theresa Marshall
has dissociative identity disorder, or multiple personality disorder. Do you
know what that is?"

She nodded hesitantly, then shrugged, "A little."

"Good enough. Anyway, the personalities that are not
Tess are called alters and you, my dear, are an alter."

"Is this the right thing to do, Benny?" I asked
anxiously as I saw Tessa's face twist. She probably thought we were insane.