Every One Of Me (27 page)

The blush on my face hadn't faded until we arrived at the
airport.

"So, what else? Is she crazy or anything?" I asked
Benny who was looking like a kid who had just unwrapped the coolest birthday
present ever.

"Don't know, but she seemed pretty composed, didn't
talk too much, but didn't freak out like I expected her to."

"So she isn't co-conscious of any of us. Lydia or
Camryn?"

She shook her head and pursed her lips, "Kind of sucks,
but it's nothing we haven't dealt with before. It will probably be just like
what happened at the beginning with you. Kind of starting over, I guess."
She shrugged and looked at Charlie. "Did you tell her the coolest
part?"

"I haven't had a chance to talk to her about it
much," he said with a wide grin and looked at me, making me blush all over
again. He chuckled and kissed my forehead. "Besides, I'm not sure what you
think the coolest part is."

"The eyes, duh!"

"Ah," he replied with an exaggerated nod.

"What about the eyes? What happened to the eyes?"
I asked with a shaky voice.

"Blue. Her eyes are
blue
," Benny exclaimed.
"So freaking cool. I mean, at first, I thought there were some
physiological changes with Camryn because, well, you know. She's crazy
sometimes. But then I realized that was just because she
looked
crazed.
Nothing else was really different except her expressions and posture and stuff
like that, but Jessi… she has light blue eyes."

I shook my head. "How is that possible? Did you see
them change?"

Charlie responded to this question and his answer was
actually not what I was expecting. "I noticed your eyes were a little
lighter when we got back from the club, but I thought it was just because you
were tired or something. They were more hazel than the usual chocolate color.
It wasn't until you started speaking to me in French that I really noticed the
change."

"Holy crapballs!"

"Yeah."

"So, tell me what she said."

"She didn't really say much, Tess," he said and
squeezed my hand. "We didn't really talk to her much, but she must have
been a little freaked when she realized she was in bed with me. Naked."

"Ha! Freaked? No, I think she might have been a little
happy about
that
," Benny muttered. "I know
I
would
be." The wink she shot to Charlie probably would have pissed me off if it
was anyone else. But this was Benny. She was born to make people feel
uncomfortable just for the fun of it.

"Anyway," I heard Trevor say from his seat next to
Benny.

She rolled her eyes. "Okay, okay.
Anyway
... I
was hoping to speak with her this morning, but you switched back. Dr. G will
have to fill you in on the rest when he pulls her out."

"I just don't understand how she hasn't come out before
now. I mean, what could have triggered her? Am I just going to start turning
into a bunch of different people now? A man who only speaks Swahili? Maybe a
kid who has a habit of picking his nose?"

Benny laughed loudly and shook her head, "I don't think
so, T, but you never know. There may be a lot of things you haven't experienced
yet that an alter might be necessary to help you through. I hate to bring it up
because it definitely isn't my business, until we have a girl's night in with
plenty of wine and junk food and you fill me in on everything, but you just
lost your virginity. That's a big deal. Jessi seems to handle waking up naked with
a man very well. Maybe that's her purpose."

My mouth had gaped open when she had mentioned my virginity.
She was the only person who would talk about that so frivolously and not really
care that maybe Charlie and I wanted that to be between
us
. What could I
do, though? This wasn't unexpected.

"Benny! My brother doesn't want to hear about that kind
of shit."

"Ding, ding, ding! No. I don't," Trevor said, then
put in his earphones and turned up the music on his phone to drown us out.

"Well, it's true. Jessi was probably triggered by the
sex."

"Okay, that's enough, Benny," Charlie said with a
chuckle. "Let's talk about something else." Then he leaned into my
ear until his lips were pressed against the skin behind it, "Not that I
don't enjoy your blush, but I think that the zipper on my pants might tear
apart if you keep it up."

Then his tongue darted out to touch that sensitive skin and
I shivered.

Yeah, I definitely think the sex was a part of this. He was
just too good and my mind didn't seem to handle it very well. He could make me
crazy with only a touch. Only problem was that I didn't want Jessi to pop out
whenever I was feeling overly emotional about it. This was
mine
.

Jessi would just have to learn to back off.

***

Mom seemed to handle the news well.

Benny was good at making the strangest things exciting, and
she
was excited about this. She loved Lydia and Camryn and always told me
that I was lucky to have such close companions that could 'throw down' when I
needed it. Her words, not mine.

Thankfully, Benny didn't tell her that we were assuming that
the new development between me and Charlie could be the reason. The way she
eyed me when we were all sitting around the table talking and Charlie kept
touching me, told me that she knew enough without anyone saying a word. She
seemed to be smiling a lot, too.

I had lost track of the time and next thing I knew, it was
after midnight and Mom and Benny had gone through a bottle and a half of wine
and were laughing at everything that came out of the other's mouth.

Charlie and I didn't have anything to drink and I know he
did this to support me. I didn't really like to drink because it made me feel
out of control, he didn't drink much because it could affect his fighting, but
a beer or two at dinner on occasion was not unusual for him.

Trevor had taken off shortly after dinner to go and find
Ellie. We had spent the first hour discussing some kind of plan to get rid of
Ellie, but none of our ideas would be possible without the high probability of
losing Trevor. Benny was quiet for the majority of this conversation and the
look she gave me when I asked her what she thought was enough to let me know
she was interested.

If only.

"Well, I'm off to bed," Mom said and stood from
the table. "You staying the night, Charlie?"

It took a few seconds for me to actually process her
question, and by the time I did, it didn't matter. I was speechless and hoped
that Charlie had a response that wouldn't embarrass the hell out of me.

He didn't.

He just squeezed my knee under the table and smiled shyly.
That smile was my undoing. He was adorable when he smiled like that and the
pink on his cheeks didn't help, so I was instantly turned on, which told me
that he needed to leave.

I didn't say it, I think because I actually really wanted
him to stay the night. This was my mom's house, though, and with her and Benny
present… I wouldn't be able to handle the awkwardness in the morning if he
stayed. Unless he slept on the couch.

"I think I'll head home tonight, Sarah."

"You sure?"

He glanced over at me and squeezed my knee again,
"Yeah."

I felt a slice of disappointment, but the relief that
accompanied it was soothing. I needed a little space after tonight. I needed
time to process how I was going to handle a new alter.

"Alright, well, come for breakfast if you can."
Then she was gone.

"I'm off. See you in the morning," Benny said
quickly and followed after her, leaving Charlie and me alone.

"I better take off, too," he whispered and kissed
the tip of my nose.

"Okay," I croaked. Why the hell did my voice give
away everything I was feeling? I cleared my throat and tried again. "Okay,
see you in the morning?"

He smiled and nodded, then pulled me out of my chair and
walked to the front door holding my hand tightly.

"Sleep well, Tess."

He pulled me against his chest and wrapped his arms around
my waist with his forehead resting against mine. We stayed like that for a long
moment, just breathing each other in, then he dipped down and kissed me, long
and soft, making sure I wouldn't dream of anything else but him tonight. I was
breathless when he pulled away. He murmured his goodnight and walked out the
front door, waving when he got to his car. I watched him drive away before I
shut the door and banged my head against it. I wasn't going to get any sleep
tonight.

"Let it happen, T," Benny's voice rang out from
the stairs.

I turned to see her in her skimpy pajamas, her hair braided,
and a shit eating grin on her face.

Let it happen.

"It's already happened, Benny."

"Not all of it," she informed, then hurried up the
stairs.

"What the hell does
that
mean?" I shouted
after her.

Her response was the sound of her door shutting, then
nothing.

"What the hell does that
mean
?"

Charlie

That had been the longest night of my life.

By the time dawn arrived, I had debated with myself enough
to determine that I wouldn't spend a night without Tess from now on and she
would just have to deal with it. I know she needed a little time to pull
herself together, but she wasn't going to get space anymore. We were in this
together and we were going to stay in it
together
.

I had an argument all planned out that I was sure would be a
winner, but when she opened the door for me, and she was standing there in her
tiny shorts and tank top with her short black robe hanging open revealing that
she was again
not
wearing a bra, I forgot what I had planned out and
just kissed her. Hard.

"Good morning," she breathed when I finally let
her go.

"Yes, it is a good morning. Awful night, but great
morning."

She blushed, but rolled her eyes at me. "Don't remind
me."

We made our way to the kitchen where the smell of bacon and
pancakes made my stomach grumble loudly.

"What time is your appointment?" I asked,
remembering that it was Monday and Dr. Geoffrey was expecting her.

"They called me this morning and moved it to 2 o'clock.
Wanted to make sure we would both be there."

I smiled proudly, but felt a little pang of regret that this
wasn't
her
decision. "I'll be there. If you want me to."

She sighed and looked down at her feet.

"Hey," I whispered and moved my hands to each side
of her neck with my thumbs lifting her jaw so she would look at me. Her skin
was soft and warm and I was itching to feel the rest of it against mine again.
"I know this isn't what you had planned for yourself, but I won't let you
do it alone. Nothing will scare me away."

"I know that."

"Then what's wrong?"

She squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath, held it
in for a few seconds, then let it out as her muscles relaxed. "What if
there is another one?"

"Then there's another one. There could be twenty, but
I'll still be here."

"What if another one turns out to be a psycho and a
murderer like on that movie with John Cusack?"

I laughed because we had watched that movie together a long
time ago and she had always thought it couldn't ever really happen, though she
loved every minute of the psychological thriller.

"I don't think that will happen, love, but if it does,
I'll still be here."

"Well, what if one of them turns out to be a guy
who--"

I pressed my thumb against her lips and she whimpered as if
she had a million concerns and no way to push them out of her. Which was
probably true.

"Baby, I'm not going anywhere. As long as you still
love me and let me love you, I'll be here for the next 60 to 70 years. The
others won't have anything to throw at me."

Her eyes widened and the color drained from her face. She
wasn't expecting that I guess. How could she not know how badly I wanted to
spend the rest of my life with her?

"Don't," I warned her. "Don't freak out. It
won't change anything."

I leaned down and kissed her forehead, her cheeks, her nose,
and finally her parted lips. I didn't hesitate to slip my tongue through and
taste her. She let me, which made me groan and promise myself to be a better
man, for her. To be the only man who she
could ever
love.

A part of me hoped that there were more alters, just so I
could prove to her that she was stuck with me. As her mouth moved against mine,
I felt my determination spike up a notch. This woman was mine and letting her
go would be the worst mistake I could ever make.

"Will you two stop sucking face and get in here
already? I'm starving my ass off," Benny shouted from the kitchen.

Tess pulled back as she rolled her eyes and turned away. I
watched her walk through the door, admiring the sway of her hips and her long
legs that had been wrapped around me not 24 hours before.

I groaned again, and she looked back at me over her shoulder
and winked.

Benny wasn't getting my credit card anymore.

***

Trevor was in the kitchen when we walked in and after about
30 minutes of playing question and answer, we all found out that he caught
Ellie last night with her maid of honor's boyfriend. They were making out in
her living room and he had walked in on him attempting to remove her shirt and
her attempting to unzip his pants.

Apparently, she was dumber than we all thought, which was
really bad. She tried to convince Trevor that the guy had gotten her drunk and
forced himself on her. Instead of giving a response that wasn't worth his time,
he tossed her key onto the coffee table, climbed the stairs to the bedroom and
stuffed the few things he had there into a bag - along with the engagement ring
he had given her that was sitting on her dresser - and walked out the door.

She wasn't happy about it and had been calling and texting
him relentlessly. He showed up here at about 2 o'clock in the morning and
crashed on the couch. No cell phone, no extra things, no regrets.

Pissed off, but no regrets.

"I'm sorry, Trevor," Sarah said sincerely and
kissed him on the cheek, "But this is good. Better now than when you were
married and ended up with an even bigger disaster." I could tell she was
fighting a smile. She was ecstatic and wanted to jump for joy and clap her
hands. She restrained herself, though.

Benny, on the other hand, said what everyone else wanted to.

"Glad you pulled your head out, Trev. Now you can enjoy
life without a demon bitch breathing down your neck."

Tess gasped, then coughed because she was in the middle of
taking a drink. I tried not to laugh as I pounded on her back to help her.
Sarah just stood frozen to the spot, staring at Benny like she had just grown
another head.

Trevor? Well, I think he fell in love with Benny right then
and there.

She was bent over her plate, devouring the eggs and bacon,
without looking up to see anyone's reaction. She didn't care. She had spoken
the truth and no one could chastise her for it.

Trevor was smiling and watching her, then he stood from the
table slowly and looked at the rest of us. "Thanks guys, for caring enough
to let me work things out on my own time. Benny?"

She looked up at him innocently. Tess snorted and buried her
face in my shoulder, shaking with laughter.

"Yeah, Trev?"

"I'll pick you up at 7 o'clock tonight. We're going
out. Wear pants."

She smiled at him, winked, and said "Alrighty."

Trevor waved to the rest of us and left.

I still don't think Sarah had moved an inch, but when Benny
just kept eating without making any eye contact with the rest of us, she
couldn't take the silence anymore.

"Someone tell me that really happened."

"It did," I replied.

"Thank God!"

Benny finished up her food and carried her plate to the
sink, "Thanks for breakfast, Mom." She kissed Sarah on the cheek and
disappeared through the door.

Tess was still laughing into my shoulder. "You see why
I love her so much?"

Both Sarah and I responded at the same time,
"Yes."

***

Dr. Geoffrey looked like he was about to burst with
excitement when Tess told him that another alter had manifested over the
weekend. She wasn't as freaked out by the idea anymore and I was proud of her
for taking it so well.

"Tell me exactly what occurred over the weekend,
Tessa," he demanded gently.

She told him about flying to New York, the baggage stress,
the fight. Everything except what happened between the two of us. He knew she
was leaving this out, of course, because the look on her face told him so. She
was bright red when she answered his question about spending the entire time
with me.

"You don't have to give me any details, but I'm
assuming you two have… entered into a sexual relationship?"

She nodded as I responded with a firm, "Yes."

"Good. That gives me something to go on then." He
picked up his notepad and read through a few notes before looking back at Tess,
eyes narrowed. "Have you ever been in a sexual relationship before,
Tessa?"

She shook her head and her skin burned redder. I felt awful
that she had to answer questions like this and I wanted to slap the doctor for
make her feel uncomfortable, but at the same time, I felt pride in knowing that
I was the first… and last.

"Alright, let's see what we can find out."

He proceeded to put Tess under and explained to her that we
were just going to speak with Jessamyn for a minute and find out for sure if
she was co-conscious of Tess and the others or not.

She didn't seem to want to show up, though, so he spoke with
Lydia instead.

It would always surprise me to see the changes that occurred
as the switch to Lydia was made. Things that would seem so subtle to someone
who didn't know Tess were extremely evident to me. She was still Tess, but she
sat straighter, arranged her face in a knowing expression - almost mischievous
- and constantly pulled at the hair around her neck.

Tess would look beautiful, short hair or long, no matter
what, but I really hoped Lydia would cooperate and not chop it off on her own.

"What's up, Doc?"

"Hello, Lydia. How are you doing today?"

Her eyes flicked over to me and a playful smile stretched
her lips as she looked down at her hands. "I'm doing amazing."

Her response surprised Dr. G, but he didn't dwell on it.
"Do you know anything about Jessamyn?"

She shook her head and spoke very clearly, "Not a clue.
I didn't even know she was around until Charlie told Tess. And Tess only knows
what I know, so…"

Dr. Geoffrey looked confused for a moment before Lydia
clarified for him, "She was aware of the last switch, but I don't think it
will stick, although she seems to be handling some things better now that she
has a little more incentive."

She looked at me again and winked. I winked back at her and
her quick intake of breath told me that made her happy. I liked Lydia. She was
playful, blunt, and not afraid to go after something she wanted. Much like
Tess, but not as subtle about it and there were only a few people who knew that
about her.

"I think maybe it's time to start some form of
communication then."

I nodded, "Tess wants that. She has decided that maybe
it's time to cooperate with… everyone."

"Good. I'll have to talk to
her
about that, but
it's good that she has shared that with you. She is making steps in the right
direction and I think it will make things easier to handle."

"What about Camryn?" Lydia asked. "I mean,
I
am very willing to communicate and I know that Camryn wants to, but I don't
think she will get much of an opportunity. She gets distracted."

"You are right, Lydia. Maybe we should try talking to
her again." He hesitated a moment, then seemed to come to a solid decision
after glancing between me and Tess a few times. Guess he felt it was safe for
him. "Yes, let's talk to Camryn."

After directing her with a few words, Tessa's shoulders
dropped and her face was tight and controlled. Her eyes wary and her hands
balled into fists. I immediately moved to sit closer to her. My sudden movement
made her flinch, but she stayed in her seat.

Dr. G didn't make a sound until her gaze met his.

"Hello, Camryn."

She nodded stiffly and clenched her fists tighter.

I was watching her closely and noticed the tremble in her
lips, the dilation of her pupils that made her eyes look almost black. She was
terrified, but was doing her best not to show it. Much like Tess, but much more
extreme.

I turned to see what was taking the doctor so long to talk
to her, I didn't think she would be very cooperative for much longer. She
looked like she was about to burst into a million pieces. He was watching
me
.
I was puzzled until he nodded and gestured for me to go ahead.

I looked back at Tess/Camryn. She was still absolutely
beautiful even with the anger in her eyes.

"Camryn," I whispered and covered her small hand
with mine. She was cold and stiff, but I squeezed gently and she looked at me,
cautiously. "I won't let anything happen to you or Tess. We need to talk
to you, though. Can you talk to us? It will only help her."

Her eyes softened infinitesimally, and she jerked her head
in a nod.

"We need to know if you are willing to communicate with
Tess in some way so she can know what exactly you need, what is important to
you," Dr. G asked slowly and quietly.

"I don't need anything. I don't want anything but for
her to be safe. For
me
to be safe," she said, her voice hoarse and
shaky.

I opened my mouth to speak, but she cut me off and glared at
me.

"Don't think you can promise
me
anything.
She
is the one you have to promise
that
to."

I paused for a moment, letting that sink in. I hadn't told
Tess that I would take care of her. Protect her. Erase the memory of the man
who was supposed to give his life protecting her, but instead, hurt her more
than anyone else ever had. It took her years to really be herself. To
find
herself. I was there when she finally did and I wouldn't let anyone take that
away from her. Not even me.

"You
are
her, Camryn. A part of her that is just
as important as the rest," I informed her.

She blinked a few times, in fact, I didn't remember her
blinking at all before that. She kept her eyes open, not missing a thing, but
my statement seemed to make her question everything she thought she knew.

I still held her hand in mine and squeezed again, running my
thumb over her silky skin. Her muscles relaxed and her fingers opened, allowing
me to slip my hand under hers and cradle her palm. Her eyes never left mine.