Ever the Same (17 page)

“You want a brush, man?”

“I do Randi’s hair without hurting her.” That must be one hell of a thing, the way the man was stuck on it. Hell, he’d seen Randi’s hair. It was thicker and curlier than Dix’s. It was probably way easier to groom a llama.

“Well, this is way easier than your kid.” He grabbed a brush and went to Dixon, helping him slip his hand through the strap.

Then he helped Dixon brush, long, slow strokes that made easy patterns in the mare’s hide.

“There’s nice rhythm to that,” Dixon said.

He nodded, knowing Dix could feel him move. It was surprisingly intimate. Not crazy-hot or anything, just close and good and happy-making. He could feel Dixon move against him, muscles shifting, rolling. They breathed together some, the scent all sweat and hay and horses.

“This is good. Am I doing okay?”

“You’re doing great. I bet she’s ready to hire you full time.” That was a hell of a fantasy, having Dixon there, all day every day.

“Maybe I have a chance, huh? Something I’ll be good at?”

“There you go. Groomer extraordinaire.” They still had to rub Skamp down too. He wanted to scream a little bit, though, because Dixon wasn’t fucking worthless, right? Blind folks did shit all the time. Hell, there’d even been movies about it.

Audie honestly didn’t care if Dixon never worked another day in his life as long as he was happy. He wasn’t thinking Dix was all that happy.

Right now they were all happy. Daisy especially. The little mare was possibly in love.

Audie didn’t say much else, just helped Dix brush that little gal out, moving them around to her other side.

“She’s very still. Are they normally still?”

“No, hon.” They swayed when Daisy flicked her tail because they’d stopped. “She’s a little mesmerized, I think.”

“That’s pretty cool. Randi’s going to be so jealous.”

“You’ve got good hands.”

“That’s something for you to be jealous of, not Randi.”

“I totally am.” He wasn’t proud.

Dixon chuckled, and Daisy’s head bobbed, like she was nodding along.

“See? She knows she’s got a good thing.” The words slipped out of his mouth before he even thought, and Dixon chuckled at him.

“Uh-huh.”

“Laughing at me.” He pinched Dixon’s ass.

“God, yes. I totally am.”

“Shit, you go on like you’re blind or something….”

Dixon hooted so loud that Daisy whinnied, which made them both laugh harder.

Christ, he was so bringing Dix out again to play. The man needed to laugh, to smile. To live.

Dixon deserved that. Audie’s gut clenched. It just wasn’t fair, this whole thing. Oh, he knew life wasn’t fair, but damn it, he loved Dixon so much.

Oh damn.

“Audie? Honey? You okay?”

“I am. I’m good.” He was, even if he was having heart palpitations.

“Your heart is going a million miles a minute.”

“Sorry, babe. I’m fine.” He kissed Dixon’s neck, right at the nape.

“Good deal. Do we need to do the other horse too?”

“We do. This will give you muscles.” He slid his hand down Dixon’s arm to grasp the lean wrist.

“I can feel it. I do sit-ups, but this is a different motion.”

“Yep. They’re spoiled too, and will try to convince you to keep going.”

“How?”

“You’re about to find out.” He led Dixon past Daisy, who nose-bumped the man.

Dixon jumped, touched Daisy’s forehead. “Oh. Oh hey.”

She snuffled at Dixon’s arm, then his pockets.

Dixon blinked. “Help? Are there carrots?”

“I’ll get you a handful of feed.” Carrots were up at the house.

“Fingers out, right? That’s what Randi says. Fingers out.”

“Yeah, palm flat.” Audie grabbed a little sweet feed and put it in Dixon’s hand. He loved how trusting Dixon was, how Dix believed Audie knew his stuff when it came to horses.

“That smells sweet… molasses?” Dixon reached to touch, and he grabbed Dix’s wrist before Daisy could bite him.

“A little, yeah. Don’t get in her way, now. She’s greedy.”

“Sorry. It’s all yours.” Man, Dix could go from relaxed to tense in a second.

“No, man, I just want for you to not get bitten.”

“Me either. They have big teeth.”

“Big,” he agreed. “She’s a good girl, but temptation is hard for her.”

Dixon seemed to think that over. “I guess I can get that.”

“It’s tough for me to get past temptation too.”

Dix tilted his head, a grin blooming. “You gonna bite me?”

“I might. If my mom doesn’t show up again.” He chuckled.

“Yeah, that’s a little deflating….”

“A little? Yeah.” More than that. More like downright ball inverting.

They groomed Skamp, Dixon more comfortable this time, initiating the motions. Audie supervised, loving how Dixon’s body moved against his.

Dixon began to sing, the sound deeper than he’d have imagined. Rich. He liked it a lot, in fact, that sound.

He let his hand wrap around Dixon’s hip, fingers barely tracing the outside of Dixon’s cock.

Dix stiffened up some, but never stopped working or singing. They found a rhythm, really, just rocking. It was like magic. The little things, those were important. He wondered a lot if that was what Dixon missed the most about his man. Dixon had to miss Ron, but he didn’t talk about the man much.

Maybe that was okay. Better for Audie, for sure, even if it made him feel selfish.

He didn’t want Dixon to feel like he couldn’t talk about Ron, after all. He just… shit, how the fuck could he compete with a rich, smart man? He was a cowboy, and he’d made it through high school, but only by the skin of his teeth.

Dixon had fucking met Ron in college. How intimidating was that?

“Penny for your thoughts?”

“They ain’t worth that much, I bet.” He chuckled, willing to admit to them, though. “I was thinking how smart you are.”

“Me? Shit. I’m a musician, man. A shiftless musician.”

“Feels like you’re wearing a shirt.”

“Shiftless, not shirtless, dork.”

“Oh right.” Laughing, he swatted Dixon on the ass.

“My shirt isn’t down there….” That was so playful, so fun.

“No? Are you sure? You’re blind and all.” Audie had to tease, because otherwise it felt too careful by half.

“Oh my God. Really?” Dixon’s eyes went wide, the look of shock patently awful.

“That’s bad, babe.” He kissed Dixon’s cheekbone.

“Yeah, isn’t it? I’ve always had a weird sense of humor.”

“I like that about you, actually.” Hell, who was he kidding? He was stupid over this man. Truly idiotic. He liked everything.

“Can we go somewhere? Your house? We don’t have to have sex if you don’t want to, I just….”

“Sure. Sure, honey.” He could so do that. The main house had lemonade and Momma. His little place should be quiet, easy.

“Sorry. My legs are tired and… tired, I guess.”

“No worries at all.” He put Skamp away, fed both the critters, and then went to get the four-wheeler. His house was a bit farther down the track.

Dixon stood in the barn door, head tilting, listening.

“You okay? You want to walk instead?”

Dixon shook his head. “I’m good. I was just trying to orient myself.”

“Cool. Well, come on and get in. It’s a Gator, not an ATV, so we can sit side by side.”

Dixon stepped forward, feet dragging on the ground, searching for obstacles. Audie waited, not wanting to offer too much help. He knew Dix needed to do shit for himself.

“How far?”

“About another three feet. Just some straw on the floor.” It hurt his heart to watch Dix like this.

He wanted to know who Dixon had been before, to see the man whole, right. Just once. The urge damn near painful.

Still, if that was how it had worked Dixon would never have been his. Was he selfish enough to be glad for that? Jesus. He didn’t know. He just knew he would take Dixon’s hand when the man reached for him.

Dixon flailed a little, found the hood of the Gator. “Oh, there.”

“There you go.” He did grab that hand when Dixon offered it, helping the man into the passenger seat.

“Cool. Let’s go!”

He took off, knowing Dixon trusted his driving these days.

Dixon hooted, held on. “Faster!”

They bumped down across the pasture, the track pretty much a wash these days. He put on speed once they hit the one curve and got through.

Dix’s eyes were wide open, but there wasn’t a bit of fear in them. No, his man was a brave one. Audie whooped as they went airborne for a few seconds.

“Do it again!”

He’d thought Dixon would be scared….

“You got it, babe.” He could so loop around and do it again.

He took a wide corner, then they tore across the pasture like hellions. Whoosh, right into the air. Dixon was laughing for him, and he was laughing, and damn, it was cool. He took them the long way around, hesitant to end the fun.

“Man, we should do that again!”

“We will, I swear.” He parked at his little house, kinda glad Dix couldn’t see how it needed painting.

“So, tell me about your place.”

“It’s small. A little run-down outside, but I think you’ll like the inside. It’s comfy, not too crowded with furniture.”

“There’s just you and Grainger, right?”

“Yeah. Hell, he spends half his time up at the big house.”

“Is he around today?”

“Nope.” He took Dixon’s hand. “He’s with his cousin in Fort Worth.”

“Oh wow. Look at us, together alone.”

“Alone together.” He kissed Dixon’s knuckles. “Whatever will we do?”

“Tiddlywinks?”

“With manhole covers.” He laughed. “Come on. Inside.”

Dixon nodded and stood up, waiting for him to come around, get him. Audie walked around to put Dix’s hand on his arm. He couldn’t make the man do it on his own.

“Thanks. I don’t have my cane.”

From what Audie had seen, he wasn’t sure the cane had a purpose. Maybe Dix needed more training on it.

“Did they show you about the cane?”

“Show me what?”

“Like how to use it to get around shit. To figure out obstacles.” Right? That was what canes did.

“A doctor showed me a little in the hospital, but….” Dixon shrugged.

“Oh. Three steps.” He got Dixon up and inside. He’d google it. Figure shit out.

“Thanks.” Dixon stopped still, inhaled deeply. “Oh God. I would know you lived here.”

“Is that bad?” He kinda thought it smelled like Duke. Leather. Grainger’s crayons.

“No. No, it’s… it’s you.”

“That’s cool, then.” He chuckled. “Gonna kiss you now, okay?”

“That would fucking rock, Audie.”

He moaned, bending to press his lips to Dixon’s. He’d needed this so bad. God, he had Dix here, with him, alone behind locked doors. About damned time. He pushed Dixon back against the closed front door.

“Uh-huh. Good. Want.”

“Yes. Good.” Look at that. Incoherence already.

He wanted Dixon naked, all the way, spread out and pretty. Hell, he wanted all night, and he thought maybe tonight he’d have that chance. Mmm. Dixon. Oil. His hands.

They could have burgers out on the grill, even.

For now he wanted more skin.

He worked Dixon’s shirt out of his jeans, and his fingers reached to stroke that sweet, fuzzy belly. Dixon shifted up against him, going on tiptoe, which Audie took as a good sign. He eased it up, hunting more skin, more ink.

Oh, he did love those tattoos. They fascinated his fingers, his eyes. He stroked a vine, following the design down into the top of Dix’s jeans.

“I feel that in my soul, man.”

“Good. I mean it that way.”

Dixon reached for his face, found his gimme cap, his glasses. He laughed when his hat went flying.

“Careful with the glasses now.”

“I know. I promise. I won’t break anything.”

“I believe you.” He let Dix down and took his glasses off, then set them on the table by the door. Then he took Dixon’s dark glasses off and placed them down too. “There. We’re even.”

“The nearsighted leading the blind?”

“You know it. I think we can make it to the couch.” His couch was old, deep, and comfy.

“Oh good. Where is it? How weird is it that we’ve been naked and I can’t describe your sofa?”

Audie snorted. “Well, given our two kids and nosy parents and the fact that you can’t see my couch, not weird at all.” He sort of two-stepped Dixon to the couch.

“Don’t forget my brothers….”

“No kidding. Dalton has some amazing timing.”

“Dalton? You should be grateful Dan is deployed. I swear, he has walked in on me on purpose. On. Purpose.”

“Ew.” Grace wouldn’t do that. Audie had no idea if the other sisters in the brigade would.

“No shit. He’s evil. I adore him.”

He sat Dix down, stroked the long, curly hair. “I hope I get to meet him someday. Not now.”

“No. Not now. That feels good, Audie.”

“I want to shower with you. Is that weird?” he asked.

“Soapy and naked are a fabulous combination.”

“Cool. I just didn’t want it to be weird for you.”

“Is your shower terrifying?” Now Dixon was just laughing at him.

“No. No, it’s clean, and it’s big. I took the tub out and filled the whole space with a walk-in.”

Dixon grinned, eyes moving wildly. “No shit?”

“None at all. I like showers. Once Grainger decided he hated sitting in the tub, I renovated.”

“That’s cool. Did you do it yourself?”

“Some. I got a couple friends who do plumbing and all. I did the tile.” He led Dixon to the bathroom.

Dixon explored the sink, knocking his razor into the bowl. “Shit. Sorry.”

“No worries, babe.” He let his lover touch anything he wanted.

“It’s all so different, like this. So weird.”

“I bet. You get so used to using one sense, huh?”

“Uh-huh. I feel like a little kid, helpless.”

“You’re not a kid. Trust me.” He needed to remind Dixon why they were here.

Oh now. There was his smile. “No? You don’t think so?”

“Not a bit.” He turned Dixon toward him, hands on those narrow hips. He’d never done this before. Never taken a shower with another man. He hoped they didn’t kill themselves or something. He looked at the tile, making sure it looked clean.