Ever the Same (31 page)

The kids
were exhausted and had crashed and burned five minutes after they’d checked in to the hotel. He and Dix had given the kids the bedroom in their suite for tonight. That way they could sit at the wee dining table and talk.

Audie knew they had a lot to talk on.

Dixon looked…. Audie stood there and stared. Dix was rumpled, red hair all coming out of the braid he wore it in, dark circles under his eyes. Still, there was a determination, an intensity that Audie had never seen in his lover’s face.

“You want something to drink, honey?” Audie asked.

“What did we pick up?”

“I got Cokes, that coconut juice you like, a couple of waters, and some beer.” They’d stopped at the Sigel’s and got some stuff after supper.

“I’ll take the coconut juice. I’ll save the beer for after, huh?”

“Good deal.” A Coke and a juice in hand, he sat down across from Dix at the table. In his family, all major decisions were made there.

“So, um.” Dixon found the lid of his drink, twisted it. “Can I start?”

“Sure.” Audie watched Dix lick his lips, a gesture of nerves.

“We… I know that the Austin house is great, the space, the pool and everything, but… Audie, I can’t live there. I’m sorry, I just can’t. It’s too far from public buses, it’s two-story, it’s so….” He shrugged, searching for words.

“Oh thank God.” Audie rushed right in. “I know it’s your place and all, but I don’t think I could live there.”

“Yeah? I just…. It’s not the right place for us. All four of us.”

All four of them. Fuck, yes. He wanted to stand up, just holler with joy instead of being a grown-up.

“I need a studio space, and I’m not opposed to a pool, but I want to live closer to the city, somewhere one-story and easy access to land for you.”

Relief left cold sweat on his skin. “That sounds perfect. Seriously.”

“Yeah? You’re not disappointed?” Dixon looked like the world had lifted off his shoulders. “We could make good money off the old house. Plenty of money to buy something more kid-friendly.”

“Honey, I don’t care if you keep the house for Randi. I just think we’re better off someplace smaller, all on one floor.” Audie should have just said something from the beginning.

“Why would I keep the house? She’s going to be with us for thirteen more years and then college. She’s not going to want some weird deserted house.” Dixon had a point.

“I just don’t want to take away where she grew up or anything.” Audie snorted. “Then again, I’m moving Grainger, and I ain’t worried about that.”

“Yeah. We’ll figure it out. We have a place to stay until we find something new. What about the horses?”

“Well, I’ll want to bring Skamp and Sarge, and I have three mares that are really promising, and that I bought with my own money. Grace will keep the mares up for me until I get some land, but I’ll bring the kids’ horses down and board them.” He took a deep breath. “I’d like to go ahead and get some land. I’m not too proud to let you loan it to me, but I’d want to treat you like an investor, just in case it never pans out.”

“Okay. I’m good with that. I believe in you. I have all the equipment I need to work, but I’ll need you to make sure I get a studio. That’s important to me, and it will be to Grainger.”

“We can do that.” There had to be a ton of places with workshops or guest houses in Austin.

“So, what’s the plan? We’re here tonight. Do you want to get the horses tomorrow? Stay here another day or two? Go down into Austin?” Dixon reached out for him.

He got it. This needed touch, so he rose and grabbed Dixon’s hand so they could sit close on the couch. Superior, that closeness.

“Oh. Better.” Dixon pushed against him, then took a hard, happy kiss. “Now. Do we have a plan?”

He was supposed to make a plan? With his lover pressed against him? “Mmhmm. We’ll stay here another day and let me call around to some friends to find a place to board the horses. Are we gonna bring the dogs?”

The kissing was about to start. Audie was ready.

“Need my dogs. Your dog. Need school records. Now, though. Need a kiss, now.”

Audie hummed happily and turned slightly to press his lips to Dixon’s. Stress made a man forget the simple things, the ways of connecting.

Dixon crawled into his lap, pressed close. “Tell me that you’re happy, that this is what you want.”

“I’m happy, honey.” Audie kissed Dix’s chin. “I was stressed, trying to think too much and not enough. Now I know none of that shit matters if you and me and the kids are together.”

“Okay, I want to make sure you remember that I’m blind, before we go on. That means I can’t see, okay.”

Audie was going to pinch him. Hard.

“I think I figured that out when my mom said you were useless. I’m a cabana boy, remember?”

They got to laughing, one of them setting off the other.

By the time the laughter died down, they were leaning hard against each other, holding each other close. “You think we’ll ever get to make love again, babe?”

Dixon shrugged. “Maybe when they both have cars.”

“When they go to college,” Audie agreed. “Uh, what’s up with Damon?” He vaguely remembered Dix mentioning his other younger brother earlier.

“His girl’s pregnant. We’re going to be uncles again.” Dix looked tickled as fuck.

“Oh man.” Audie shook his head. “Well, at least he’s what, twenty-two?”

“Fixin’ to be. He’ll be fine. He’s a good guy. If his girl is cool, they’ll make it.”

Dix looked perfectly at peace with the world. Audie got it. From now on they needed to remember to talk, not stew and worry. They could stand together so easily.

Dixon reached for his face, removed his glasses, then started to touch him, exploring his face.

“Whatcha doing, babe?”

“Looking. Just looking at my man. Indulge me.”

He could do that. Audie was sort of built for it. They always did say love was blind.

Strangely enough, that was perfectly okay with him.

Epilogue

“Audie! Audie,
where the hell did the Cokes go?”

There was a sound of evil children laughing, then the dogs—all four of them, assholes, started. “Boomer! You’re supposed to be on my side.”

The big lab came and pressed against his leg, immediately ready to work, even if he didn’t have on his harness. Boomer was his eyes, and the pooch took it very seriously.

“Damn, old man. You blind or something?” Daniel’s booming voice filled the air. “Audie’s out in the back with Dalton, Damon, and Dad, man, taking barbecue.”

“Yeah, Bubba? Cokes, please. The duo of evil are playing with me.” Dan was in on leave, coming to admire Damon’s new baby and meet Audie, if by “meet Audie” he meant giving Audie a constant raft of shit. Dan adored his lover.

It was cute as fuck.

“They hid the Cokes?”

“They’re ‘helping me’ learn to discover by touch.”

“Did they learn that in school or something?” Dan began opening and closing cabinets. Then something heavy landed on his foot, Duke the border collie nudging his hand. A can of Coke, he’d bet.

“Good boy!” He picked it up, rubbed Duke’s ruff. “We all had to take training together. It’s a thing.”

“I got to say, old man, you…. Damn. I’m proud.”

“Yeah?” Dixon was trying. He was trying so hard. Some days sucked, but those were backing off, and he was figuring shit out, him and Audie.

“I am.” Dan hugged his shoulders.

“You should be.” Audie came in from the back. “Duke get you that Coke?”

“He did. He’s determined that Boomer not be the smartest dog in the house.” He reached out, touched Audie’s arm. “I am going to have you beat the kids, though.”

“Uh-oh. Beatings.” Audie gave him a kiss easily, something that had taken a while in front of his family. Grace had been easier, Audie’s sister happy for them. Audie’s mom, well, she loved Randi, he guessed.

Hell, Ron’s folks had decided to come up and rent a guest house for their month with Randi so Grainger could go too. Dixon and Audie had walked bowlegged for a week.

Something must have shown on his face when he thought about it, because Audie chuckled and patted his ass. “Behave, honey. Your folks are taking the kids to the hotel tonight.”

“Thank God my room’s on the far side of the house…,” Dan muttered under his breath.

“No shit on that, you giant pervy wingnut.”

Oh, nice. Audie was getting better at the comebacks.

“Pervy wingnut? Seriously? Bubba, you need to teach your man how to do it.”

“How does pathetic dick-munch work for you?”

Dan hooted. “Better. Not that I’m getting any. Y’all need to get with making new friends so I can get some ass.”

“Yeah, yeah. Everyone Dixon knows is a musician or a blind dude.”

“Daddy? Are the hot dogs done yet?” Grainger asked.

“I want one too, please, Daudie.” God, Randi had to be four inches taller than Grainger. Either that or she was in heels. She did love her princess heels that Ron’s mom had bought her.

“Did you ask Poppy? I left him in charge of the grill. Don’t hide anything else today, okay? Too many people in the house.”

“Yeah. Sorry, Dix. We were playing.”

“Suck-up,” Randi muttered.

“Miranda!”

“Sorry, Daddy!”

“Am not,” Grainger muttered.

“You can both do without hot dogs if you don’t behave.” Audie was so good at stern.

Dan leaned close. “That’s pretty hot, man.”

“Be nice.”

“I am. Do cowboys come in a leather-daddy model?”

“Remind me to tell you about Les, the guy Audie bought his current obsession from….”

Audie snorted. “Les raises amazing horses. His social skills suck.”

“I don’t mind suck….”

“Dan.”

Oh yeah. Audie could totally do stern. Then he ruined the whole effect by making gagging noises.

“Audie! Fire!” His dad hollered from outside, and Audie took off running.

“Dan?”

“I’m on it.” He heard footsteps, then a soft chuckle. “He dropped the burgers into the grill.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah. Hopefully he’s better at raising llamas, although Dalton says he’s good with them.” Dan came back and took his arm. “Want to head out and be social? Damon brought Heidi and Daria.”

“Absolutely. I need my baby time.” Audie and Dixon had discussed more babies. Once. For about ten seconds before bursting out into hysterical laughter.

Then they decided between two kids, four dogs, a blind guy and a cowboy with nearly fifteen brood mares to care for, they had enough on their plates.

“Come on, then. Let’s go. We got family waiting.”

Dixon snorted. “Always. Eternally.”

He could hear the kids laughing in the backyard, hear Audie talking to his dad, and he had Boomer to herd him out where he could sit with his brother’s new baby. It wasn’t perfect, but it was his and he’d take it.

Was it the life he’d always seen for himself? No, but hell, he couldn’t see anything these days. He’d just have to make it up as he went along.

He had Audie, the kids, his memories of Ron, and his music.

No matter what happened next, Dixon knew he had learned the most important lesson, which was to appreciate what he had every minute. The rest would work itself out.

About the Author

BA Tortuga
, Texan to the bone and an unrepentant Daddy’s Girl, spends her days with her basset hounds, getting tattooed, texting her sisters, and eating Mexican food. When she’s not doing that, she’s writing. She spends her days off watching rodeo, knitting, and surfing Pinterest in the name of research. BA’s personal saviors include her wife, Julia Talbot, her best friend, Sean Michael, and coffee. Lots of coffee. Really good coffee.

Having written everything from fistfighting rednecks to hard-core cowboys to werewolves, BA does her damnedest to tell the stories of her heart, which was raised in Northeast Texas, but has heard the call of the high desert and lives in the Sandias. With books ranging from hard-hitting GLBT romance, to fiery menages, to the most traditional of love stories, BA refuses to be pigeon-holed by anyone but the voices in her head.

http://www.batortuga.com

http://batortuga.blogspot.com

https://www.facebook.com/batortuga

@batortuga on Twitter