Ever the Same (7 page)

“You’re not. We’d rather know than have you sit and be uncomfortable, right Gracie?”

“God, yes.”

He heard the scrape of a tray close by, and when he put his hand out, he felt the smooth wood top. Oh good. Sturdy.

“There’s no standing on formality with us. We’re hicks.”

“You’re very kind.” He said it and he meant it. They were the least awkward people about his sight. Maybe because they’d never known him when he had it.

“That’s us. Kind hicks.” Audie’s voice was full of laughter.

“If you say that fast, Brother, it sounds like rednecks.”

Audie whooped. “Red-red-red-neeeeeck.”

Dixon snorted, then gave in and cracked up.

“Here, Daddy, I made you a plate. I got you brisket and cornbread and some potato salad.”

“Thank you, baby. A little help?”

“Brisket on top, potato salad on the side.”

Audie sat next to him, the man’s heat palpable. “Salad on the right side, the cornbread on the left.”

“Thanks. Right and left are still hard for her.”

“Yeah. Grainger is not so good with that either.”

“We’re right here,” Grainger said, voice plaintive.

Randi sighed. “Left makes an L and right makes a… a….”

“Backwards L.” Grainger helped.

“Right. A backwards L.”

Dixon rolled his eyes. “When you figure out which L is backwards you tell me, okay?”

“Daddy!”

“Sorry.” He had to grin. “Love you, baby girl.”

“Uh-huh.”

Dixon grinned. It had turned out to be a better day than he’d expected, that was sure. He caught the dog, Duke, trying to sneak around to get to his plate, and shoved away the fuzzy head gently.

“Good catch, man.” That was Audie, and he could hear the smile.

“Y’all cheated, not warning me he was a mooch.”

“Aren’t they all?” Grace asked.

“Well, we have dachshunds. They’re too short to get up like that.”

“And old. They’re so old.” Randi sounded disgusted.

“Randi. Your Daddy Ron loved those dogs.”

Everything went quiet and he bit his lip. Shut. Up.

“I’m sorry.” Randi touched his arm. “I just mean they don’t play much anymore.”

When no one else said a word, he just patted her hand. “Yeah. Yeah, I know. Eat, huh? It’s so good.”

“It is.” She fell to her food, and mostly the conversation went to “pass the sauce.”

Just when he thought the coast was clear, little Sara piped up. “Mommy, how can you have two daddies?”

Oh great. Just what he needed, for Randi to lose another friend.

“Well, I reckon there’s lots of ways.” Audie was the one who answered. “Sometimes parents don’t stay together and marry other people, so you have two mommas and two daddies. And sometimes moms or dads like someone like them, instead of the other way. Either way, it’s more people to love, right?” That voice stayed calm, even, never a bit awkward.

This guy was too damned good to be true.

“I’m glad I have a mommy.”

He felt Randi stiffen. “I don’t need one.”

“Hey, every family is different, Bumblebee.”

“I don’t have a mom either, Randi.” Grainger didn’t sound too upset about it. “It’s okay.”

“No?” It was sad, how she sounded so relieved. He hated that her life was in complete upheaval.

“Yep. Sounds like both of your dads love you. My mom dumped me when I was born and hit the road.”

“Grainger. That’s enough, huh?” Audie was starting to sound like Dixon felt.

“What? It’s true. She don’t love me.”

“Hey, buddy, can we talk about this later? If you still want to, I promise, we’ll sit and really go over it, okay?”

Dixon guessed every family had its issues. Audie must be pretty used to this, if he could be so calm, only the tiniest impatience creeping into his voice.

“Yeah, okay. Did you know your dad was going to teach me guitar, Randi?”

“I heard. He’s super good at it.”

The kids switched subjects like a flock of birds changing direction.

He guessed it was good. Meant they were healthy, basically normal. He was the one sitting in front of a plate of barbecue thinking too hard.

Barbecue.

Right.

Brisket. Potato salad. Bread. He could do this. In fact, after his first bite, his body told him he was starving. It was good.

Normal.

Just right.

Chapter 7

T
HREE
WEEKS
.

Dixon White had been coming to his house every Saturday for three weeks. Audie usually drove. Then he left Dixon and Grainger to guitar lessons while Audie gave Sara and Randi riding lessons.

He liked the guy. Dixon had dry humor, talent, and good looks. And he made Audie feel like a huge perv. The guy had lost his partner and his sight how long ago?

Not long enough.

No way.

Dixon was mourning. Mourning and unavailable. Mourning, unavailable, and hotter than the hinges of hell.

Audie sighed, rolling his head on his neck. He could hear Duke howling along with whatever Dixon and Grainger were doing. The girls were in the ring, both Sarge and Sara’s little mare Dinah attached to the little hot walker he’d improvised.

Grainger had gone to bed in tears the first night from his fingers being sore, but the kid wouldn’t stop practicing. Hell, Audie had to force him to play outside, even to go see the horses.

The guitar thing was an obsession, but Audie got it. He was pretty obsessed himself.

“Heels down, Sara. See how Dinah stuttered just there? Your feet got sloppy, and she couldn’t feel your knees.”

Hell, these girls were so damned tiny neither horse could feel them at all, but he needed them to learn good form.

“Yes, sir.”

Randi was doggedly determined to learn, to get this right and get off the walker. She was damn near as stubborn as Grainger. He grinned. Those two had bonded over not having a mom, hadn’t they? The other day he’d gotten a call from the school saying the two of them together had been fighting someone else. Lord.

Grainger had been all up in arms. “Daddy, they called her a b-word! I had to.”

While he’d praised his son for protecting a lady’s honor, he’d been pretty stern about ganging up and bloody noses.

Little shits.

He grinned, eyes flashing up to the front porch, Grainger stubbornly learning, Dixon laughing.

Audie allowed himself to sneak glances between watching the girls, watching the set of Dixon’s shoulders, always so tight when he arrived, so much more relaxed after half an hour with Grainger. It felt a little perverse, to be stealing glances, to keep looking.

If he admitted it, only to himself, if felt good too. Even if Dixon somehow found out he was staring, no one would get their asses kicked. The worst Dixon would do was tell him no thanks.

“Unca Audie? Are we done? I have to potty.”

“Sure, baby.” Sara could only hold it so long. Her poor bladder was the size of a pea. “Randi, do you think you can hang on while I take Sara in to her mom? I know you want to help me brush these guys out.”

“I promise. I can do it.”

“Okay.” He trusted her. She never kicked, never tensed up, a natural. “You know what to do if he gets a wild hair, right?” He’d trained her. Don’t curl over his neck, don’t flail. Dig into the stirrups, sit up, and hold the saddle horn.

“Yes, sir. Hold on and sit up.”

“Good girl.”

He plucked Sara off the horse and hustled.

She made it. Barely. “Gracie! Your daughter needs you in the bathroom. I need to get back to Randi.”

“You got it!”

Dixon looked up at him, or at least seemed to. “She okay?”

“She’s great. I just don’t want to leave her longer than I have to. Sarge would never go against the hot walker, but Dinah is riderless now and might get bored.” He tousled Grainger’s hair on the way by.

Randi was talking to Sarge, just jabbering away, but she had her shit together. Her little body was perfectly aligned and rocking with Sarge’s movements.

Audie chuckled. “Hey, you want to go a little outside of the ring?” He would lead Sarge around for her, but she might like that now that Sara was gone.

“Oh. Can I? I’ll be good.”

“I know you will. Okay, hang on while I get Dinah unhooked, and we’ll go.” He stopped both horses, got Dinah turned out into the pasture. He’d take Sarge the other way.

Sarge nickered a little, but he was a good guy, solid and trustworthy, even if he was a bit of a head-tosser. Audie figured Sarge would teach Randi what to do about that, and then he’d move her up to Skamp, whose big problem was pulling down on the bit to have some grass during a ride.

Randi looked at him, beaming, that mass of red hair pulled back through the hole in her gimme cap. “Oh, Mr. Audie. I love Sarge so bad.”

“He likes you too.” Sarge would follow Randi around like a dog, given the opportunity. The big old gray thought that girl was magical. “He’s just your guy until he’s too old to ride, okay?”

“Okay. I’ll love him, though, even after. I’ll love him forever.”

“I think you will.” Such passion. Sarge was just old enough to last her until she was ready to move on as far as her age and all.

“Did you hear, Sarge? I’ll love you forever, and I’ll always bring you carrots and apples and brush you and….” The happy little song went on and on.

Sarge just swished his tail and tried to lip Audie’s fingers where he held the halter. Someone had said carrots.

He walked Randi out. Was there a little girl alive who didn’t love horses? He hoped not. Cowboys needed cowgirls. Or their daddies. He stole another look at Dixon.

The man was in a T-shirt today, the colorful tattoos right out in the open, long hair in a messy tail. He wore John Lennon dark glasses, and those were new.

“Daddy looks happy.” Randi sounded pleased, but Audie was embarrassed she’d noticed him looking.

“He does. He likes playing his guitar.”

“Yes, sir. Daddy says it’s the best part about him.”

“Yeah? Not his smile?” He thought Dixon’s smile must have rivaled the sun back when his eyes echoed it.

“Nope. Daddy doesn’t smile so much now. He misses my daddy Ron.”

“I bet he does. I’m so sorry, honey. I know that has to be so tough.”

“I…. Can I tell you a secret?”

“Of course you can.” He would never tell a kid no.

“I don’t ’member Daddy Ron so much. I want to, but I don’t.”

“Oh, honey.” He patted Sarge’s neck. “My Granny died when I was little. Maybe your age. You know what helped? My Pops talking about her a lot. I bet your dad would be okay if you asked him to remind you.”

“Yeah? I don’t want him to be sad.”

“You’re a good kid, Randi. You know what, though? I bet since he can’t see to look at pictures of Daddy Ron, it’s hard for him to remember too, and it would help.” Fuck, he hoped he wasn’t steering her wrong.

“Yeah. Daddy banged his head and busted his eyes.”

“That sucks, huh?” That he didn’t know how to answer, so he fell back on sympathy.

“Yep.”

And that was that, wasn’t it? It sucked. “So, when is your birthday, Randi?” Audie headed back for the barn.

“July thirteenth. I’m the oldest one.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re like a year older than almost everyone, huh?” She had a hard row.

“I am and my birthday’s in the summer. Daddy’s birthday is tomorrow. Did you know?”

“Tomorrow. No, I didn’t.” Damn. Damn, he needed to do something for the man. Maybe take him out to supper over in Rockwall or something. Away from the prying eyes.

“Uh-huh. I made him a picture.”

He didn’t point out that a picture might not be the most logical choice ever. She was trying so hard. Maybe he’d see if he could get a card at the Walmart with sound, something she could record a message into.

“That’s great, kiddo.”

“Uh-huh. I cut it into a heart so he could tell.”

“Oh.” She was so smart. “That’s really good. He’ll love that. You ready to work some muscles, brushing out Sarge?”

“I am!” She sounded so happy. A real little cowgirl.

“Good deal.” He helped her down and handed over Sarge’s lead. “I’ll get that saddle off, and you can walk him out a bit.” She needed confidence, to know that she was in charge.

“Yes, sir. Thank you.”

“No problem, kiddo.” Once they got Sarge crosstied for safety, he reminded her not to get too close to those rear hooves and went to round up Dinah so he could give her a little water and get her unsaddled and groomed. Such a good girl, Dinah.

A half hour later, they were joining Dixon and Grace and the kids for iced tea and cookies.

“Now, Mister Dixon?” Grainger was looking at Dixon with huge eyes.

“Yeah. I think you’re ready.”

“Daddy, I learned a song.”

“Did you, kiddo? Lay it on me.” He settled into a chair, smiling at his kid. God, Grainger looked so nervous but pleased.

Grainger started playing a John Denver song, tiny voice clear.

He tapped his foot, nodding along with the music, even when it slowed and stumbled. Grainger didn’t start over, just plowed through. Look at his boy. He was so damn proud it hurt.

The end came with a little flourish, and Audie clapped, cheering. “Good job, kiddo.”