Equivocal Death (25 page)

25

Moments later, Douglas was handing over the tickets to a freck-26

led young woman standing guard. She glanced at the tickets briefly 27

before looking up again.

28

“These tickets are for the 9:45 show,” she said. “We’re not seat-29

ing for that show yet.”

30

Douglas was a picture of polite confusion. “But —” he looked at 31

the tickets as if he’d never seen them before. “That’s not right.

32

We’re going to the 7:45 show.”

33

“The 7:45 show is sold out,” the woman patiently responded.

ort 34

“But I got these tickets
much
earlier today.”

reg 35

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The woman looked at the tickets. “It says here that you bought 1

them at 6:30.”

2

Kate focused on the floor, trying not to laugh. She quickly edged 3

away from the entrance, with Douglas trailing in her wake. “This 4

has
never
happened to me before,” he said in plaintive tones. “It’s 5

an
outrage.
”

6

To her surprise, Kate was enjoying herself. After the high se-7

riousness of her day at Samson, there was something appealing 8

about playing cloak-and-dagger games over movie tickets. She was 9

amused by Douglas’s good-humored bravado. With a pang, she re-10

membered that life, small things in life, could be fun. Suddenly the 11

prospect of spending a few hours with Douglas didn’t seem all that 12

bad.

13

“We could just get something to eat,” she ventured.

14

“Absolutely not.” Douglas’s face was set in mock-determination.

15

“We are
going
to that movie.”

16

Back on the main floor, Douglas returned to the ticket line. His 17

eyes scanned the illuminated timetable posted above the ticket 18

counter. On reaching the ticket sales desk, he proffered the once-19

spurned
Cold Justice
tickets.

20

“These tickets are for 9:45, but we can’t stay that late. We need 21

to exchange them for two 8:30 tickets for
Gunslinger.
”

22

Kate frowned. “But I don’t want to see —”

23

“Don’t worry.” Douglas pocketed the new tickets and grabbed 24

her hand. She tensed at his touch and then relaxed as he pulled 25

her back toward the escalator. He was probably just in a hurry.

26

Upstairs again, they handed over the tickets and easily made it 27

through. Now they were standing on the edge of a vast concession 28

area that led to the individual theaters. “We made it,” Douglas said 29

gleefully. But as he scanned the marquee lights above the various 30

theater doors, his smile began to fade.

31

“I don’t get it,” he muttered. “Something is wrong. Something is 32

very wrong.” He approached an usher. “
Cold Justice?
” he asked in 33

hopeful tones.

34 sh

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A M Y G U T M A N

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“Downstairs. Lower level.”

2

Douglas and Kate exchanged blank stares. Then Kate started to 3

laugh.

4

“She told us that they weren’t
seating
for the 7:45. What she 5

didn’t tell us is that it’s
downstairs.
”

6

They were back on the run. “This is what we’ll do,” said 7

Douglas, as they again descended the escalator. “We’ll tell the guy 8

downstairs that we need to go catch some friends who are going to 9

Cold Justice.
That it’s an emergency.”

10

“Right. A
movie emergency.
That’ll work. Why don’t you just tell 11

him that the popcorn popper is broken upstairs? Or that they’ve 12

run out of your favorite snack treat. Or that you just want to
see
13

what it looks like
downstairs.”

14

Douglas looked reflective. “The popcorn thing isn’t bad . . .”

15

Reaching the main floor, they raced to the escalator leading to 16

the lower level. Kate hung back as Douglas pled their case. “It will 17

only take a minute. We’ll be
right back,
” he assured the blank-faced 18

kid who stood guard.

19

“No.”

20

“
No?
” Douglas’s eyes widened. “But can’t we just — we just 21

need to —”

22

The line was getting longer, but Douglas stayed put. For a mo-23

ment the attendant seemed confused. “Well . . . , okay. Just as long 24

as you’ll be right back. ”

25

Unbelievable,
Kate thought. Douglas gave her a surreptitious 26

thumbs-up sign.

27

7:35. They took the steps on the downward escalator two at a 28

time from the main floor to the lower level. The
Cold Justice
mar-29

quee was straight ahead. They slipped into the packed theater just 30

as an action-film preview began. The few empty seats were scat-31

tered singles.

32

“We’ll have to split up,” Douglas whispered. “I’ll meet you after 33

the show. Why don’t you take that seat up to the left? That looks ort 34

like the best one.”

reg 35

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1 4 1

A brief flicker of compunction passed over Kate. What if the 1

rightful owners of these seats arrived and found no place to sit? At 2

the same time, there was something fun about this minor trans-3

gression, so alien to her by-the-book life. Kate headed for the 4

empty seat.

5

“Hey, Kate —” Douglas called softly. She turned, made out the 6

engaging grin, the warm brown eyes.

7

“What did I tell you? I’ve
never
been kept out of a movie.”

8

w

9

It was Friday night, just before midnight. He was seated alone in 10

the brightly lit pastry shop. Around him couples chattered over 11

dessert and coffee. He tried to ignore them, to block out their grat-12

ing laughter.

13

On his plate was the flaky confection known as sfogliatella. He 14

picked it up and bit down. The crisp top layers gave way, and he 15

tasted the sweet cheese inside. He chewed slowly, with concentra-16

tion, focusing on the texture, the flavor. And then he waited. It 17

was one of his few good memories, this thing that he used to love.

18

She’d brought them to him as a special treat. When he was a good 19

boy. It had flashed into his mind last night, a picture of her watch-20

ing him eat, her face suffused with love. She had been, was still in 21

his mind, the most beautiful woman in the world.

22

He was sitting in front of a window. Outside, he saw people 23

rushing past, hurrying toward light and warmth. And beyond 24

them, across the street, was the place where it all began. He stud-25

ied the square brick structure. Only four stories tall. That always 26

surprised him. It seemed so much larger in his mind. His eyes wan-27

dered toward the top floor, to three dark windows on the right. He 28

wondered who lived there now. Did they know what had hap-29

pened there? Or were they utterly oblivious, concerned only with 30

their own small lives?

31

“D’you mind if we sit here?” A woman was pointing to two 32

empty chairs. She was fat as a pig, with curly bronze hair. Her date 33

stood behind her, a pimply geek with a ridiculously large hooked 34 sh

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1

nose. Both of them were disgusting. But the shop was filling up. He 2

didn’t really have a choice. Grunting an assent, he tried to edge 3

closer toward the wall. Then his eyes returned to the building.

4

“And then, when I was ten, we moved to Scarsdale.” The fat girl 5

was nattering on. “I had this imaginary friend named Lulu. I was 6

sure that we’d left her behind. I was driving my mother crazy. Fi-7

nally, she drove me back into the city one day. She parked outside 8

the building where we used to live, and went inside. When she 9

came out, she said Lulu was with her. And you know what? I be-10

lieved her. After that everything was okay.”

11

It was a stupid story, he thought. Still, when he heard things like 12

that, he was amazed at what others remembered. Childhood 13

games. The names of teachers. The type of sandwich they’d eaten 14

for lunch. While for him, whole years were blank. For the first 15

decade of his life, he had only a handful of memories. The pastry 16

he was eating now. The scene of her death. His old friend Ricky, 17

holding out a small flask.
It’s cool, man. But you gotta drink it fast.

18

But that was all in the past. Before he’d come up with the plan.

19

He laughed to himself about the Ph.D.’s who claimed to under-20

stand what he’d been through.
Trauma. Dissociation.
The fact was, 21

they didn’t know shit. Still, he’d let them believe that they’d 22

helped him. What did he care after all? The only thing that mat-23

tered was the plan. That was the beauty of it. Every action could be 24

put to one test: did it help or hinder the plan?

25

He’d come here tonight to reassure himself, to seek strength for 26

his coming ordeal. He’d thought that being here would bring her 27

closer. But it wasn’t working out that way. Still, he had no doubt 28

that he was on the right track. She’d sent signs telling him so. If he 29

had any doubts at all, he just had to think of Kate. Only the glasses 30

were wrong. It still annoyed him, to see her like that. But perhaps 31

it was better this way. Better that others couldn’t see what he saw.

32

Kate was there, waiting. That was the important thing.

33

Then, without warning, he felt her presence.
The most beautiful
ort 34

woman in the world.
He felt her all around him, loving and urging reg 35

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E Q U I V O C A L D E A T H

1 4 3

he was not alone. He could feel her confidence in him, feel it fuel-1

ing his resolve. Doubts fell away, dissolved into space, until they’d 2

never existed at all.

3

Everything was just as it should be.

4

Nothing could stop him now.

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1

Saturday, January 9

2

3

The phone rang. Barely awake, Kate rolled over and picked it up.

4

“Hi!” It was Tara, sounding energetic and alert, as if she’d been 5

up for hours.

6

“What time is it?” Kate asked groggily.

7

“A little after ten,” Tara said. “You weren’t asleep, were you?”

8

After ten.
Kate couldn’t remember the last time she’d slept this 9

late.

10

“No, no.” Propping herself up on an elbow, Kate tried to focus 11

on Tara’s words.

12

“You
were
asleep. Go back to bed. I’ll call you later.”

13

“No, really, I’m up now.”

14

“I just wanted to know how things went last night.”

15

Kate found herself smiling, though she’d never in a million years 16

tell Tara. “Fine,” she said coolly. “Things went fine.”

ort 17

“Did you like Douglas?”

reg 18

“I liked him fine.”

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“Liked him fine,” Tara repeated. “Well, coming from you that’s 1

pretty close to a declaration of love.”

2

“Don’t sound so smug,” Kate said. “It was just a movie.” No rea-3

son to tell Tara about the lingering conversation over coffee that 4

followed, about Douglas’s fascinating tales of his recent trip to the 5

Himalayas, about his promise to be in touch. She didn’t want to 6

get Tara’s hopes up. Besides, she wasn’t sure how she felt. She’d had 7

a much better time than expected. Even the crazy ordeal with tick-8

ets had somehow added to Douglas’s appeal. Still, he wasn’t her 9

usual type. She’d just have to wait and see.

10

“So what are you up to today?” Tara asked, letting the subject 11

drop.

12

“Haircut, housecleaning — the usual Saturday entertainment.”

13

“And tonight?”

14

“I’ll probably order in sushi and watch a video. The perfect Sat-15

urday night.”

16

“Hmm,” Tara said. “I can see that I have my work cut out 17