Equivocal Death (27 page)

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Authors: Amy Gutman

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6

The tendentious writing was beginning to annoy her.

7

The point is that it is the very qualities which men find sexually at-8

tractive in the women they harass that are the real qualifications for the
9

jobs for which they hire them. . . .

10

Sudden allegations of job incompetence and poor attitude commonly
11

follow rejection of sexual advances and are used to support employment
12

consequences. . . .

13

Men believe that whenever women are advanced on the job, an ex-14

change of sexual favors must have occurred. . . .

15

Kate could hear the bathtub filling. Still carrying the book, she 16

went to turn off the tap. While it didn’t do much for her, she had 17

to wonder what this book had meant to Madeleine. Had it perhaps 18

called to mind her own career? Kate thought about what Justin had 19

told her at the Harvard Club, how Drescher had argued that 20

Madeleine had slept her way to the top. Kate hadn’t really given 21

the attacks much thought. Now she wondered if they’d contained 22

a grain of truth. Of course, Madeleine was a very good lawyer. But 23

had she really been so outstanding that partnership was a foregone 24

conclusion? Had it been her abilities that set Madeleine apart from 25

her less successful peers? Or was it her sexual relationship with 26

Mills?

27

As the thoughts circled in her mind, Kate peeled off her clothes.

28

She could feel the steam floating up from the tub, smell the bub-29

bles’ flowery fragrance. Suddenly, she was tired of thinking about 30

Madeleine. Couldn’t she just relax for one night? Still naked, she 31

walked back to the bedroom, where she returned the book to its 32

place. What she needed tonight was something soothing. She 33

34 sh

35 re

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A M Y G U T M A N

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pulled out a dog-eared copy of
Sense and Sensibility
and headed 2

back to the bathroom. She’d read and reread each of Jane Austen’s 3

six novels, and this was her favorite. An elegantly orchestrated 4

moral fable that preached the eighteenth-century virtues of bal-5

ance in life and love. Book in hand, she slipped gratefully into the 6

tub. She closed her eyes and let herself drift, let the water’s blissful 7

warmth enfold her. The strains of a violin floated in from the liv-8

ing room.

9

This really was a perfect evening.

10

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ort 34

reg 35

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Sunday, January 10

1

2

Kate tried to stifle a cough. She’d awakened that morning with the 3

beginnings of a cold, and the drafty church sanctuary wasn’t help-4

ing. Furtively, she shifted in her seat, trying to find a more com-5

fortable position on the hard wood pew. Her throat was raw, and 6

her head felt as if it were stuffed with cotton. Pulling her cape more 7

closely around her shoulders, she wondered if she might have strep.

8

It seemed as though the service would never end. Arthur Daw-9

son had begun to speak. Dawson, who’d long since retired, was well 10

over eighty by now. As his reedy voice droned on, Kate’s eyes 11

roamed through rows of black-clad figures until settling on Carter 12

Mills. Mills had been one of the first speakers, delivering a careful 13

and detailed account of Madeleine’s career. Her arrival at Samson & 14

Mills as a newly minted attorney, her rapid ascent in the Samson 15

hierarchy, her election to partnership. As the words flowed out, 16

mellifluous and measured, Mills referred obliquely to challenges 17 sh

faced, to obstacles surmounted. Kate had eagerly awaited Mills’s 18 re

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turn at the podium, but once he’d started to speak, she’d found 2

herself fast losing interest. The day after Madeleine’s death, she’d 3

seen real emotion in his face. By contrast, today’s offering seemed 4

artificial, prepared for public consumption.

5

Mills sat toward the front of the church, surrounded by other 6

partners. As she studied the somber group, Kate realized that this 7

was the first time she’d seen the thirty-seven partners all in one 8

place. To an unknowing observer, they would hardly seem a re-9

markable bunch. A collection of middle-aged white guys — the 10

few women seemed beside the point — barely distinguishable one 11

from the other. The occasional bald head or goatee did little to 12

alter the effect. Samson’s partners were like tract houses, where 13

occasional unique “features” only underscored a basic sameness.

14

Tara was constantly getting them confused. Even the names, she 15

claimed, sounded alike.

16

And yet, these ordinary figures were the stuff of legend. Mythic 17

heros of an oral epic passed down through associate generations.

18

There, behind Mills, was Colin Barfield, a litigator known for his 19

single-minded vision. Barfield had once dragged an associate to the 20

airport with him because she hadn’t yet finished explaining a 21

memo. When departure time came, and she still wasn’t through, 22

he’d taken her with him to Japan. With his tortoiseshell glasses 23

and bow tie, Barfield looked like a gentleman lawyer. Who would 24

guess that this courtly man made associates pack his clothes?

25

Everything — underwear, shoes, shirts, and suits — had to be 26

neatly stowed in his suitcase before checkout time arrived.

27

Next to Barfield was David Kirkpatrick, a man with strange 28

habits of his own. Kirkpatrick insisted that associates telephone 29

restaurants in advance to ask that any vegetable he ordered be 30

served in its pureed form. Kirkpatrick couldn’t be bothered with 31

making the request himself. Nor did he want his associates dis-32

tracted while they ate, interrupting the flow of his instructions.

33

(“Ever try eating escargots and taking notes at the same time?” one ort 34

of Kirkpatrick’s associates had once asked a group of his peers. “It’s reg 35

tough.
”) A favorite Samson story was The Time That Kirkpatrick 9858_02_153-356_r6jm.qxd 9/28/00 3:59 PM Page 155

E Q U I V O C A L D E A T H

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Ordered the Artichoke, the agonized deliberations among associ-1

ates on his team as to whether artichoke puree was in order. It 2

went without saying that they couldn’t ask. They were simply ex-3

pected to
know.

4

And on the other side of Kirkpatrick was . . . Martin Drescher.

5

With a shiver, Kate snapped her head back toward Dawson, still 6

rambling on up front. The time she’d spent under Drescher’s desk 7

still made her dizzy with remembered fear. But after taking a mo-8

ment to collect herself, Kate shot another glance across the aisle.

9

She’d hoped that something in Drescher’s face would give insight 10

into his emotions. But try as she might, she could discern no clue 11

from his politely expressionless features. After a time she gave up; 12

she looked back to the front of the room.

13

But while her eyes now focused on Dawson, Kate’s mind con-14

tinued to wander. As she picked at a hangnail, it occurred to her 15

that it was strange to be here on a Sunday. This was a church, after 16

all. Didn’t they have services? Maybe someone had pulled some 17

strings. It was a beautiful space, though.

18

A prism-like flicker danced on the floor. Kate tilted her head to 19

the right, trying to locate its source. When she saw what it was, she 20

rolled her eyes: Angela Taylor’s ring. Angela was seated just across 21

the aisle with several other third-years. Julie Whiting, Margo 22

Price, Irene O’Shaunnessy. Out of Angela’s conversational orbit, 23

Kate could appreciate how pretty she was. Shiny blond bob, high 24

cheekbones, a finely turned nose. And she wasn’t the only one.

25

The women clustered around her shared the same patrician good 26

looks. Clear skin. Elegant profiles. Straight, gleaming hair.

27

If you ever go to the top floor of an office building, you know the
28

women look a certain way.
There was, perhaps, something to this 29

observation. They were definitely a good-looking group, the fe-30

male lawyers of Samson & Mills. Good-looking in a certain way.

31

For the first time it occurred to Kate that Catharine MacKinnon 32

might just be right. Not that women were hired based on looks 33

alone. Of that, she was very sure. But was beauty perhaps a sort of 34 sh

threshold test? A way to limit the pool? What about a smart 35 re

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woman who wasn’t much to look at? Would she still be in the run-2

ning at Samson & Mills? Kate realized that she didn’t know.

3

A brief shuffling up front and Dawson relinquished his post.

4

Kate saw that the minister, a stocky man with a neatly trimmed 5

beard, was again assuming the helm. A good sign. And then she 6

heard the words she’d been waiting for. “And now, in closing, 7

please join together in our final hymn.” The song was Cat 8

Stevens’s “Morning Has Broken.” Kate had to stifle a laugh — she 9

couldn’t imagine a song less in keeping with Madeleine’s persona 10

than this classic sixties anthem. Still, as the voices surged around 11

her, Kate felt a lump in her throat. Andrea, seeming to sense her 12

distress, gently squeezed her shoulder.

13

And then the service was over. Gathering up coats, the mourn-14

ers began to file out. On the other side of the church, Bill McCarty 15

hurried toward the door, dodging clusters of people who’d stopped 16

to talk en route. Peyton Winslow huddled with Chuck Thorpe and 17

a woman in a fur-trimmed suit. Kate couldn’t suppress a wry smile.

18

Even at Madeleine’s funeral, Peyton was in networking mode. And 19

Chuck Thorpe, what would he be thinking? Again, Kate wondered 20

about the chain of events. Chuck Thorpe claimed that Madeleine 21

had stood him up. But had it really happened that way?

22

“How’re you doing?” Justin asked, curling an arm around Kate’s 23

shoulders.

24

“I’m all right,” Kate said. She was a little embarrassed by the 25

wave of sadness that had hit her as the service ended. “I think I’m 26

coming down with a cold. You know how it is when you’re feeling 27

sick. Everything gets to you more than usual.”

28

“Right.” Kate was glad that Justin didn’t loosen his grip.

29

“Do you guys want to grab something to eat?” Kate asked.

30

Justin consulted his watch. “Wish I could,” he said. “But believe 31

it or not, I have to get back to the office.”

32

“Hey,” Andrea whispered, grabbing Kate’s elbow. “Look — com-33

ing down the aisle — Madeleine’s family.”

ort 34

Kate turned as a nondescript threesome made its way toward the reg 35

door. They were nothing like she would have imagined. Made-9858_02_153-356_r6jm.qxd 9/28/00 3:59 PM Page 157

E Q U I V O C A L D E A T H

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leine’s mother — it must be her mother — was slack-faced and 1

maternal. Beneath a stiff arrangement of gray-blue hair, her fea-2

tures were a baffled blur. She was propelled forward by a tall, thin 3

man — Madeleine’s father? — who grimly forged through the 4

crowd. Both wore the shell-shocked look of unwitting tourists.

5

Trailing after them was a harried-looking woman in her mid-forties 6

tottering in black high heels. Behind the younger woman’s pan-7

cake makeup, Kate made out a fleeting resemblance to Madeleine.

8

She must be Madeleine’s sister.

9

“Listen, I’ve got to split,” Justin said, pulling on his coat. “I’ll 10

call you later on, Kate. See you, Andrea.”

11

As Justin disappeared in the crowd, Kate caught sight of a dark-12

haired man who seemed to be watching her. But before she could 13

try to place him, he’d already looked away. Briefly, she wondered if 14

he was someone she knew. He didn’t really look familiar. Still, 15

she’d met so many people since moving to New York. It was hard 16

to remember them all.

17

“Hungry?” Andrea asked.

18

“A little,” Kate said. Her nose was starting to run, and she 19

reached into her purse for a tissue. “You know what I’d really like?

20

Some kind of chicken soup.”

21

w

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