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Morning, Susi. I trust you are well. I have been trying you and Simon but keep getting voicemail. I know you are both awfully busy, so I thought I would send you a quick e. David wants to review the creative work for Coke at 11:30. I know it is a pain, giving us all such short notice, so let me know if there’s anything my temp can do to help set it up.

	Daniel Westbrooke – 1/5/00, 9:32am
to:	David Crutton
cc:
re:	an early review is a good review!

My temp passed on the message about the Coke review. Excellent! I agree, we should have the work on the table ASAP. I hope our creative
wunderkinder
do not let us down. I do not think any of them
are in yet – knowing them, they will have been toiling away until the cock crowed. Let me know when we are on. I am ready and waiting.

	debbie_wright@littlewoods/manchester.co.uk 1/5/00, 9:45am
to:	[email protected]
cc:
re:	Salford replying

We have contact! Well done, girl! They pay a ton in advertising don’t they? What you on – twenty grand? Higher? Salford’s the same old, but you’ve only been gone a week, so it’s hardly going to change. Did see Terry at Pizza Hut looking wounded/pissed – couldn’t tell really. Got to go. This isn’t like your new job – we actually have to work. Call soon. Love, Debs.

	David Crutton – 1/5/00, 10:04am
to:	Daniel Westbrooke
cc:
re:	an early review is a good review!

I was informing you that I wanted to review the work. I wasn’t asking you to be there. Please pay attention.

	David Crutton – 1/5/00, 10:09am
to:	Simon Horne
cc:	Susi Judge-Davis
re:	are you alive?

I’ve e-mailed you once already this morning without response. In fact, it seems my entire workforce has tried to make contact with you, with no success. I don’t expect any trouble today, Simon. You and I are going to review Coke at 11:30 on the dot.

	Brett Topowlski – 1/5/00, 10:20am
to:	Liam O’Keefe
cc:
re:	Shit, meet Fan

Susi says Crutton has gone fucking apeshit. She doesn’t know why, but he wants a Coke review.
11:30 TODAY!
Shit! Got anything? Me and Vin have bugger all. We were slaughtered last night. Where the fuck were you? You were spot on, Lol wasn’t wearing knickers – had to drop my lighter half a dozen times to be certain. Anyway, only just got in, and the one line we had on Coke went up Vin’s nose last night. I have a bad feeling.

	Liam O’Keefe – 1/5/00, 10:27am
to:	Brett Topowlski
cc:
re:	Neck, meet Noose

Coke, today? What the fuck is going down? Sorry I didn’t make it last night, but Pinki flew back in from her clairvoyant with one of her creative auras, so we did a late one. Reminded me why I put up with her and her Melissa Etheridge albums. She was brilliant and came up with a blinder for Mako.

And stuff your problems. Think about me. I’m a fucking fire officer!

	Nigel Godley – 1/5/00, 10:50am
to:	Accounts Department
cc:
re:	let’s make this the best fire drill ever!

As your designated fire officer, I’d like to draw your attention to the diagrams I circulated to all of you. These set out your starting positions for the drill. Can you log off your PCs at 11:23 hrs and take your marks at precisely 11:25 hrs? This will ensure that when the alarm sounds at 11:30 hrs, you will be in the optimum state of readiness to make a safe and rapid evacuation.

And perhaps this time we will beat our previous best of 3 minutes and 21 seconds. Good luck, Team Finance!

Nige

	David Crutton – 1/5/00, 10:52am
to:	Susi Judge-Davis
cc:
re:	sort it

I’ve e-mailed your lord and master twice this morning, to no avail. You have also fobbed me off on the phone. You’ll know me well enough by now to appreciate that patience doesn’t figure in my genetic make-up. So let’s keep this simple. The Coke review
will
happen at 11:30. If it doesn’t, I’ll fuck your boss so badly, he’ll never get another job in advertising. In fact, he’ll be so shafted, even McDonalds would think twice before hiring him. I trust you’ll pass on the message.

	Susi Judge-Davis – 1/5/00, 10:54am
to:	Simon Horne
cc:
re:	PANIC STATIONS!

Darling, your door’s locked, and you won’t answer your phone or e’s. I’m sure you’re only having one of your “can’t-be-disturbed-creative-inspiration-moments,” but you should know that David is going mental and is saying some beastly things. He’s insisting that the Coke 11:30 happens. You are OK for that, aren’t you? I’m going to tell him you are anyway, before he explodes . . . Sx