DUBIOUS (13 page)

“
You’ve got a point. We won’t let another sporting event pass us by like that.”

She laughed as I gave her a high five. We continued to look around the restaurant.

* * *

“
If someone had told me that this used to be Olive Garden, I would have called them a liar,” I said as we approached our table.

“
I know, right? These folks spent some mad money up in this camp.”

We took our seats and began going over the menu.

“
I see so much I want to try. Now I’m mad I wore this tight-ass dress.” I watched this fine brother walk by and realized I had an appetite for more than food.

“
Who you telling? My shit is so tight you can see air going through my lungs.”

“
Tight or not, you are rocking that dress.”

The lights started to dim.

She said, “If we don’t hurry up and order something, we won’t be able to see this menu.”

“
I know that’s right. I don’t know why they had to dim the lights now. It isn’t like we’re up in here trying to be alone.”

“
Yeah, they best not get that twisted.”

We laughed together again. I was enjoying my time out with Talisa. It seemed as if each of us had left our corporate personalities at the office and allowed our hair to hang loose. Talisa ordered fried catfish, and I ordered chicken cordon bleu. We also ordered some drinks to make the mood festive.

“
I just hope the men pack in here like the ladies.” I noticed that the place was filling up with ladies of different sizes and shapes. “Daaamm! Did someone post a ride-a-dick-tonight-only sign and we missed it?”

She laughed.

“
What?” I said, looking around for the source of her amusement.

“
You’re so funny. I had no idea you would be like this.”

“
Like what?” I scrunched up my face.

“
Aw, you know what I mean. You’re so cool.”

“
I just like to keep it real. You don’t ever have to worry about me saying one thing to your face and another behind your back. If I don’t like you’re ass, I won’t say anything at all.”

“
I hear ya. I ain’t got time to be trying to be no fake bitch. First of all, my face would give me away. Secondly, if I don’t like your ass in the first place, what would be the benefit to me pretending to be your friend?”

“
Exactly. I get tired of all these women all up in your face and shit knowing damn well they wish you would drop off the face of the earth.” I was glad she was able to relate.

“
Oh, and don’t forget the ones that will be standing in the dark ready to push you as soon as you turn your damn back.” She rolled her eyes.

I nodded absentmindedly “Yeah, those are the heifers that you keep close to you and always standing in front of you.”

“
We got two of them hoes in the office.”

“
Anita Williams and Desiree McCall,” we said together.

“
I call them Frick and Frack. Those bitches are trifling. If they weren’t so damn stupid, their asses would be funny,” I said.

“
I’ll admit it, I tried to be friends with Desiree when she first started working at the firm, but she’s got her head so far up Anita’s ass, I don’t know where she stops and Anita begins. She’s thrown me up under the bus a couple of times. Now I just serve her with a long-handle spoon.”

“
I know what you mean, Talisa. When I first started with the firm, Anita was already working there. In fact, she started out training me.”

“
To do what?” She raised her brow as if Anita wasn’t intelligent enough to teach anyone anything.

“
Exactly. She was working in the secretarial pool when I started. I was in my last year of law school, so I took the first gig I could get. She was cool until I started rising out of the pool. When I passed the Bar, the bitch sort of lost her mind.”

“
Damn. That explains the backbiting a little.” She nibbled on her catfish.

“
Not really. I never tried to treat her any differently. In fact, she was almost my secretary until she started doing little devious shit.” My chicken cordon bleu was slamming. I couldn’t eat it fast enough because of all the talking we were doing.

“
This sounds like it’s going to be good.” She smothered her fish with hot sauce.

“
Trust me, that heifer can lie her ass off. She didn’t know my background. So when I passed the Bar, she about peed in her pants. I was the firm’s token nigga, and she wanted to treat me like I was her slave.”

The waiter interrupted our conversation when he offered to refill our drinks.

“
Damn, I would’ve liked to have been a fly on the wall when she found that shit out.”

“
Oh, it was a classic.” I paused and took a healthy swig out of my glass. “She used to holla for me up and down the hall. That shit grated on my nerves. She knew she had me by the throat, and I wasn’t going to say anything that would cause me to lose my job.”

“
You’re better than me because her ass would have got told.”

“
It wasn’t easy, let me tell you. It was all a challenge not to haul off and bitch slap her. She dictated my every move. When she went on break, I went on break. For six months I ate lunch with that heifer. I was trying to pass my probation period, but on the last day, I switched my lunch and went by myself.”

“
I’ll bet that pissed her off.” She grinned.

“
Not as much as the announcement that I’d passed the Bar and would be joining the firm as an associate.” I started to feel the alcohol.

“
So how did she become an associate?”

“
That’s a good question. I’ve yet to see her college transcripts. I wouldn’t put it passed her lying ass to have concocted some shit. You know as good as I do, white folks will lie for each other.”

“
Ain’t that the truth!”

“
Hey, we came out to have fun … let’s not talk about them witches anymore.”

“
I’ll drink to that. But one day soon I want to finish this conversation.”

“
I don’t have a problem with that.” I looked around the room and licked my lips.

CHAPTER 14

I walked back from the bathroom disappointed that Felicia hadn’t answered the phone. I didn’t want to believe that she was still avoiding me. Honestly, I had assumed we’d gotten past that. But each time I tried to call and she didn’t answer, the less sure I was. I didn’t expect us go back to being friends like we were before we married, but I had hopes we would at least stay in each others lives. Thirteen years was a long time to be with someone.

Of course I had only myself to blame for what had happened in our marriage. I was jealous of Felicia. She had it so together at a time when my life was so confused. Ever since we were children, she knew what she wanted to be and she never wavered. She didn’t stress out about attending school and holding down a job. She made me feel inadequate. I didn’t want to be an accountant, but I had to pick something. Numbers bored the shit out of me. I could have gotten a degree in a lot less time than Felicia, so accounting was perfect.

The only problem was I couldn’t pass the damn classes. I had wound up spending more time and money on an education than my wife, and I still had nothing to show for it.

“
Damn, man, I thought you fell in,” Kelvin said when I sat down.

“
Ah, you got jokes.”

He passed me the menu and tried to read his in the dim light. I used my lighter to assist me.

“
I feel you, man. They got this place all dim and shit like the sex is ’bout to pop off up in here.”

“
Did you see your shorty?” I said.

“
Not yet; it’s still early.”

“
Well if you don’t see her, man, look around. You can just about have your pick.” I motioned to a group of attractive women. “Ain’t nothing but ladies up in this camp.”

“
Man, rollin’ up on a table full of ladies just ain’t for me.”

“
Why’s that? I thought you were a big baller.”

“
I am a big baller, but I ain’t no fool.” He looked at me as if I were his student. “You step to a table full of ladies you had better be prepared to pull out your wallet and buy them all drinks. If you don’t, man, they will talk about your ass like a damn dog.”

“
Damn, man, shit’s changed since I’ve been in the game. Back in the day, you just got the waiter to send a lady a drink and your number and you were in.”

“
Ladies ain’t like that no more. They wanna see what you working with before they give you any of their time.”

“
Sounds like you’ve been rolling with the wrong crew. I can’t believe things have changed that much.” I was so far behind, I wondered if I still had it.

“
Okay, don’t say that I didn’t try to warn ya.”

“
Since my pockets are about on empty, I won’t have the chance to find out if you are right or not. What are you going to have?” I considered the menu again.

“
I’m going try this seafood po-boy.”

“
That sounds good. I’ll have that too.”

We gave our orders to the waitress. Then we settled back and enjoyed the soft jazz playing throughout the joint.

Out of nowhere, Kelvin said, “Are you ready to talk about what happened to your marriage?”

“
Aw, man … I know I owe you an explanation since you’ve been a friend to me and Felicia for years. I’ve been wanting to talk about it but every time I start thinking about it, I keep thinking about how badly I fucked up.”

“
You still love her?”

“
I’ll always love her, but I’m not in love with her. We’ve been going through the motions for years … but I haven’t been happy.”

“
Are you happy now?”

“
You trying to be funny?”

“
Naw, dawg. I’m just trying to understand.”

“
Well … when you figure it out, please let me know,” I said.

“
Was there another woman involved?”

“
Hell no. I care too much about Felicia to do that to her.”

“
So what the hell happened? You weren’t happily married to her, and you’re not happy now.” He leaned forward and gave me all his attention.

“
I can’t expect you to understand something I don’t understand myself. We just grew apart. It got to the point I wasn’t even coming home.” I finished off my beer and ordered an Absolute on the rocks. I needed something stronger than beer.

“
That’s deep.”

“
Yeah, she tolerated it for a minute, but I knew it was just a matter of time before she kicked my ass out.”

“
Felicia wouldn’t do you like that. Despite how you felt, she still loved you.”

“
You’d be surprised what a woman will do once you reject them.” I thought back to the fight that had sealed our fate.

“
You’ve got a point. Hey, look, there’s the shorty I was telling you about. Ain’t she hot?”

I studied the twentyish, chocolate baby doll for a minute. “She’s good, but ain’t she a little young?”

“
What’s six years? As long as she’s over twenty-one, she can call my house anytime.”

My attention was drawn to the couple she was talking to. There was something familiar about one of the ladies, even though her back was to me. I was intrigued. But not enough to try to go over and talk to her and get my feelings hurt.

Kelvin’s girl came our way and recognized him. She acted as if she wasn’t surprised, but I could tell she was pleased.

“
Hey Shannan, this is my boy Randy.” He stood up and gave her a light peck on the cheek.

She blushed, showing off her perfect white teeth. “Hi. I didn’t expect to see you so soon.”

“
I’ve been seeing you all day long, you just didn’t know it.”

“
Dag, dawg, that was corny as hell.” I laughed.

She said, “I liked it. Are they treating you well here?”

“
We straight. Our food should be out in a minute. This is a nice spot.” Kelvin was rambling, a sure sign that he really liked this woman.

She pinched his cheek. “I’ve got to mingle, but I hope to see you before you both leave.”

“
Bet on that, shorty.” She switched her hips as she strutted away; Kelvin was practically drooling.

“
See what I mean?” he said.

“
Yeah, she’s straight. I ain’t mad at you.”

“
You want me to see if she has a friend?”

I shook my head. “Naw, I ain’t even ready for that yet. I’ve got to get my head on straight and pass this exam before I even contemplate dating again.”

“
I hear ya. Here’s our food.”

The waitress was arranging the food on the table when the woman that I had been admiring got up from her table. She still hadn’t turned around, but what I was looking at from the rear was alright with me. If only she had the face to match, I might have humbled myself and begged for her number.

She turned and walked in our direction. Kelvin could not see who had captured my attention, but my bugged out eyes were enough to make him swing around to take a look. He stood up, knocking over his chair, to greet her. I could not have moved if someone had pushed me.