Dreams~Shadows of the Night (25 page)

“I’d say you’ve shown remarkable restraint considering the damage that’s been done. I hope Catherine will understand.” He squeezed Josh’s shoulder. “Good luck, son.”

“Thanks, Dad. I have a feeling I’m going to need it. I’ll be in touch.”

He stared at Ivy for a few seconds. She reached out her hands to him, but he shook his head and walked away without allowing her to make contact. As soon as the door closed, she whirled around to lash out at John with the wrath that boiled inside her.

“
Well,
I hope
you’re s
atisfied
now
tha
t you’ve turned Josh against me.”

“That was not my doing
.”

“You think not? I didn’t notice you doing anything to help defend my position. That’s what a good husband would have done for his wife. I’ve only been trying to protect Josh. Am I to be condemned for wanting what is best for him?” she demanded.

“You need to give that question some serious thought. Josh knows what he wants and it’s about time you realized it. Instead of casting blame on others, you should try examining your own motives. If you don’t want to kill whatever love Josh still has left for you I suggest you don’t abuse that love because he wants to share it with others.”

“I don’t care if he shares it with others; just not Catherine.”

“Because she represents competition for you? That’s pretty pathetic, Ivy. Did you really believe you were going to be able to keep Josh as your own exclusive pet forever?”

Her cheeks brightened with a surge of color. “That’s a disgusting thing to say.”

“Call it what you will, but you had better get used to the idea that you either learn to share Josh, or not have him at all. In the meantime, you owe Catherine an apology.”

“I don’t owe her anything. She deserves to be punished for causing all this.”

“You’re never satisfied until you’ve squeeze out every last drop of pain, are you? You thrive on making people your victims. How sad that you’d do it to your own son. Well know now that I’ll not support you in continuing to drive Catherine out of his life.”

She watched him go and shoved his words
aside. She neither needed nor wanted his help. Her anger was coupled with frustration at Josh’s rebellion. Despite his threat, Ivy was confident he would never push her out of his life, but Catherine was definitely swaying his judgment on where his priorities should be, and that she could not allow. No one had ever bested her and no one would; certainly not a little nobody like Catherine.

The annoying girl was like an unwanted weed in a garden. Some were more stubborn than others, but Ivy had always prided herself on knowing how to get rid of weeds. She went back to her pie dough, her brain a whirlwind of activity, and by the time she’d slid the pastry into the oven the expression on her face was positively
evil.

Chapter Twenty-two

Catherine roamed restlessly around the
empty house. She felt unsettled
, but she reminded herself it had been her idea to have her aunt take the baby away for a few days. Although, like Priscilla, she doubted if Josh could legally take little Tommy, she didn’t want to risk him coming here and upsetting her aunt.

She hadn’t realized how much she’d taken for granted her aunt’s friendly chatter and the baby’s presence
.
Now,
the quiet was beginning to close in around her. Feeling the need for some fresh air, she wandered outside to the patio. A light breeze ruffled her hair while the mélange of scents tickled her nose. Her aunt loved gardening and had planted a profusion of flowers in the yard and around the patio in various pots and tubs.

This had always been a special place for her; and now with Josh’s latest cold attitude toward her, Catherine needed the warmth of happy memories. Her father had helped her uncle pour the cement here. She’d only been five years old at the time, but Catherine could remember how the two men had insisted on having her and Nancy’s small handprints pressed into their handiwork before the concrete dried.

She couldn’t help smiling as she recalled how their mothers fussed over them afterward making sure all the thick grainy mixture had been thoroughly washed off.
Special
attention
had also been
added to be sure their tiny fingernails were spotlessly clean again.
The
father
s
had allowed
each girl
to print her name
next to
her own
handprint. Catherine recalled complaining that it had taken her longer than Nancy because of
the
extra letters
in her
name
.

She stretched and inhaled deeply. The morning sun was a bright yellow ball in the sky and felt good on her skin. She turned her face upward to catch the warm rays and closed her eyes. Her aunt’s gardening had produced a cornucopia of color and fragrances. Catherine opened her eyes when she heard the sound of bees busily humming nearby, as they flitted among the flowers.

She gradually grew tired of her own company and went inside again. Wondering what she could do to fill in the time, she decided it was a perfect opportunity to shop for her aunt’s birthday gift. She enjoyed the annual ritual, and the thought of getting out around people was suddenly very appealing, especially when visions of Josh kept intruding in her thoughts.
Reenergized, she retrieved her purse from the bedroom, approving the sexy image peering back at her from the full-length mirror on the closet-door, and headed for
her car.

Although there were several malls to choose from, she drove to the one closest to their house. She knew from past experience there were some shops there her aunt favored. As soon as she entered the shopping center she filled herself with the sights and sounds so unique to such a busy place.

She wove her way around people with pleasant memories
guid
ing
her steps directly to Pricilla’s favorite shopping area
and the first store of choice. Although it carried some other types of merchandise, it specialized in music boxes. If there was anything her aunt enjoyed as much as flowers, it was her collection of music boxes; the more whimsical the better.

Catherine took her time strolling around the shop and doing her best to ignore the hovering saleswoman while she made her selection. It wasn’t easy. There were dozens to choose from, each one quite distinctive. She finally chose one she hoped would please.

Its dusty rose exterior was decorated with dozens of miniature flowers in various colors and topped with a smiling fairy. Catherine touched a fingertip to the delicate coil of blonde curls and the wispy looking wings. But it was the tiny creature’s mischievous smile that caught her attention.

The artist had painted the
little mouth in such a way that the fairy seemed to be conveying the idea that whoever looked at her was in for a special treat. When she lifted the lid and heard the first notes of, “You Light Up My Life”, she knew this was the right one.

As soon as the box had been gift wrapped, she headed for a bath shop where she purchased a trio of lotion, bath spray, and soap in the raspberry scent her aunt preferred. From there she made her way to a candy store and added a brightly wrapped box of chocolates to her medley of gifts.

Catherine strolled back to her car feeling happy with her success. She toyed with the idea of having lunch at a little bistro near the mall, but decided instead to wait for another day when her aunt could join her. By the time she arrived home and carried the bags inside, she was in a better mood knowing her shopping trip had been a success.

She stashed the gifts in her bedroom closet and changed clothes before padding barefoot into the kitchen for something to eat. She’d just opened the refrigerator and was looking over her choices when she heard footsteps. She immediately let go of the door and felt her pulse leap when she saw Josh standing there watching her.

“Don’t you ever knock?”
Her happy mood vanished in a flash.

“I did, but I guess you didn’t hear me.  I hope you don’t mind that I let myself in.”

“As a matter of fact I do. You are no longer welcome to come and go here as you please; and if you came for the baby you’re too late.” She braced her body in a gesture of defiance. “I made my aunt take him away for a few days.”

“You didn’t have to do that. I’m not here for him and it was wrong of me to suggest such a thing. I’m sorry you felt they
needed
to leave. I didn’t come to cause trouble.”

“Unfortunately trouble seems to follow you around.”

S
he fold
ed her arms over her chest.

“Just why are you here, Josh?”

He stepped forward, reached into his pocket, and set a small frog made from thi
ck green glass on the counter next to
her. She looked at it and let her arms fall to her sides.

“What in the world is that for?”

“I read somewhere that the Japanese believe the frog is a symbol of good luck for things like keeping travelers safe on their journeys.”

Instinctive compassion softened her expression for a moment. “It’s too bad you didn’t have it with you in
South America
.”

“Maybe I would have if I had known about it then, but now I’m about to embark on another, more important journey and I need all the help I can get.”

Disbelief turned her heart to stone.

“Some things never seem to change. You still think running away is the answer. So where are you off to this time?” she asked, not bothering to hide the bitterness she felt. “Outer space?”

He shoved his hands in his pockets.

“Not quite, although I’m sure that’s where you’d like to send me. I’m taking the uncertain road to my future, but there could be problems along the way because I’ve thrown up some formidable roadblocks.”

“Yes, as I said, you do seem to excel at that kind of thing.”

“I know. That’s why I need your help. I want to get it right this time.”

“What is it you want me to do, take you by the hand and lead you? You’d be better off getting yourself a good compass.” The sarcasm in her tone had deepened.

“I was hoping you’d walk beside me,” he said watching her with a steady gaze.

“I’m not in the guide business. You’d be better off recruiting Robyn.”

“I don’t want Robyn; I’ve never wanted her. There are all these empty spaces inside me that only you can fill. I want us to be together again, Catherine.”

“Seems to me I’ve heard that before. There was an imbalance in our relationship from the very beginning, but I thought we could eventually work things out. I was wrong. We obviously have different needs and too much has happened for things to ever be right between us now. You must know we can’t go back to where we began.”

“I told you before I’m not interested in the past.” He pulled his hands out of his pockets and let them hang loosely at his sides. “I want to go forward with you – only you.”

“That’s what you say now, but experience has told me it would only last until the next time your mother comes up with another one of her fabricated stories and brainwashes you. No thanks, I’m not interested in running her gauntlet again.”

“There won’t be any more of that kind of thing.”

She rolled her eyes toward the ceiling.

“No? You believed all the lies she told about me before. How do I know you won’t be swayed once more?” She held up her hand before he could answer. “You don’t seem to be able to see her for what she
is or the
vicious tales she spin
s. I refuse to subject myself to
her mendacity ever again.”

“You won’t have to. I’ve stepped outside the realm of her influence for good.” He paced a few steps back and forth before facing her again. “Please try to understand how it’s been for me. I had to accept that someone I loved and trusted all my life was deliberately lying to me. I realize it doesn’t change what she did or justify her motives, but my mother really believed she was doing what was best for me.”

“Anything to keep her baby boy close to her,” Catherine scoffed.

“It was wrong of her and it makes me sick to know what she’s done to us.” He dragged long fingers through his hair. “If only I could make you understand what I’ve been going through. You told me to go away and grow up. That’s what I’m trying to do.”

“I believe I said
learn to
be your own man.”

“Seems like the same thing to me. Ryan Wade told me I’d probably changed in
South America
and both you and I need to learn to get to know the person I’ve become.”

Her brows instantly snapped up in surprise.

“You talked to Ryan?” She shook her head. “You couldn’t have, you don’t even know him.”

“I introduced myself. I’ve been so mixed up about everything I needed to talk to someone who might be able to set me straight. He seemed to think given time you’d be able to accept me again. I know I treated you badly, but I’ve hurt myself, too. I can’t erase any of the foolish things I said or did, but I’m willing to do anything to have you forgive me. Can’t you see the power you’re capable of wielding over me?”