Dreams~Shadows of the Night (11 page)

“She hid it well.” He felt emotion jam its way into his chest and settle there like an unwanted intruder. There would only be memories of her now, but memories were often lonely reminders of what might have been, and God knows, he did feel alone. He took a long sip of tea wondering what more he could say to this woman who looked at him with Marie’s eyes. He shifted in his seat trying to think how best to remind her of the reason he’d come when Jenny saved him the trouble.

“Thank you for bringing her things
personally. I know you’re a busy man.”

“I would never be too busy to do something like this. I have the bags in the car. Let me go and get them and then I’ll be out of your hair, Mrs. Rabb.”

She looked at him with a sad little smile.

“Douglas, you’re the man
who
wanted to marry my daughter. Don’t you think it’s about time you call me Jenny?”

Douglas actually felt himself blush
–
something he hadn’t done in a very long time. It was a bit embarrassing to remind himself that she was more suited to him age wise than Marie had been.

“Yes, I suppose you’re right.” She walked with him to the door, but he stopped before she could open it. “Would you happen to be free to join me for dinner this evening, Jenny?” he asked surprising himself with the impulse.

“As a matter of fact I am, but why don’t you let me cook something here? It’s the least I can do to repay you for coming all this way.”

“Thank you, that’s very generous of you,” he said and felt the grip of loneliness lessen its hold. She wasn’t Marie, but she was nice and he couldn’t deny that he’d like to have her talk to him about Marie. It might even bring them both a measure of comfort.

She cut into his thoughts.

“I’ve wanted to ask you, did your people ever
find the man that was taken with Marie?
I’d like to meet him if possible.
”

“So would I, but unfortunately he was never found.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine the heartache his family must be suffering not knowing what happened to him.”

“Yes. It makes one wonder how they’re managing to cope.”

>>>>dreams<<<<

Nancy stood next to Tom and watched the hospital entrance. “Mom and I are worried about Catherine. She’s so down. Except for work, she stays home all the time.”

He kissed her on the end of her nose. “That’s why we’re here, remember?”

“I know, but she’ll probably refuse to let us take her out.”

“We won’t let her. Here she comes, put on your best smile.”

Catherine hung back a moment before going to them.

“What brings you here?”

Nancy linked their arms. “Taking you out to pizza, you lucky girl.”

“I can’t,” came her ready reply. “I’m too tired.”

“We won’t be late and you have to eat.”

“I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but I’m really not fit company.”

Tom put a fingertip lightly over her mouth. “Humor our efforts to be useful.”

She looked at their hopeful expressions. “Oh all right, but no anchovies.”

>>>>dreams<<<<

Weeks turned into months and Catherine continued to dream about Josh. In one he appeared to be wandering through a maze of green. She reached out to hi
m, but no matter how hard she tri
ed, she couldn’t make contact. Her depression dug in and clenched with an iron fist.

Nancy
helped Tom cope
. Mere weeks after their first meeting they’d eloped and were now
expecting their first child.
They were creating a new life for themselves while she clung to the old one.
He’d encouraged her to stop pining for what might have been and give someone else a chance. Catherine hadn’t been very enthusiastic, but had promised to try.
She was leaving work one evening when a masculine voice called
to
her
.

She stopped and smiled, recognizing the man coming toward her.

“Dr. Wade.”

“I’d say it’s acceptable for you to call me Ryan when we’re not working.”

Her face flushed a pretty shade of pink.

“Habit,” she mumbled.

“Mind if I walk with you to your car?”

“Not at all.”

Catherine liked Ryan. So did everybody else who worked with him. His easygoing manner also made him popular with patients. She remembered seeing
his
wife
a few times
before her death from ovarian c
ancer a little over a year ago. The staff had
rallied
around him
while he struggled through the painful pro
cess of his devastating loss
.

He tilted his head and looked at the sky.

“
It’s a beautiful night.”

“It must be nights like this that
make people sit out on their front porch swings counting the stars. That is if there’s anybody around who still does that kind of thing.”

“Oh I’m sure there are.” They arrived at her car. “I realize we’ve only conversed on a professional level and my dating skills are
a
bit rusty, but I have a couple of tickets to a pla
y for this Saturday evening.
I wondered if you’d like to go with me and maybe have a late supper after the performance.”

He looked so endearingly self-conscious that Catherine made her decision before she could change her mind.

“I’d love to.”

He wiped imaginary sweat off his brow.

“I’m glad that’s over.” He glanced at his watch. “Would you be free now to pass another half hour or so over a cup of coffee?”

She dreaded going home to an empty apartment and guessed Ryan was probably suffering the same predicament. She knew he had a young daughter, but there was only so much you could talk about with a child. She remembered her vow to Tom. Josh was only a hazy figure in her dreams now, but Ryan was here.

“A cup of coffee sounds great.”

>>>>dreams<<<<

Hamilton
stared at
Douglas
. “You’re leaving us?
Isn’t this rather sudden
, sir
?
”

“Actually, no. I’ve been thinking about it for a while. I just had to make a few more arrangements before I could trade in my three piece suits for beachwear.”

“Beachwear?”

Douglas got up and walked around to stand in front of his desk.

“I’m going to try and put the past behind me and start fresh.
There’ll be n
o more regrets for the things I can’t change.”

Understanding dawned.

“You’re moving to Hawaii.”

“I am. When a man gets a second chance at love he’d be stupid to turn it down.”

>>>>dreams<<<<

Douglas
came into the living room and saw Jenny sitting on the sofa slowly turning the pages of a photo album. “What do you have there?”

She looked up, eyes bright with unshed tears.

“Family pictures.”

He sat down and put his arm around her.

“Marie?” he asked, pointing to a photo.

“Yes, she was seven. It was taken after a dance recital.”

“She was beautiful even then.” He pointed to another photo of a man standing with Jenny and Marie. “Is this her father?”

“Yes. It’s one of the rare times he bothered to come to one of her
performances, or anything else she was involved in for that matter.”

“She never talked about him.”

“There wasn’t much to say.
They didn’t have a good father/daughter relationship.
He spent most
of our marriage ignoring her
– a
nd
tossing his affairs in my face
.”

“How sad he couldn’t appreciate what he had. Didn’t you realize what kind of a man he was before you married him?”

“I was young and quite naïve. I thought he loved me. It didn’t take long to realize
I’d made a mistake, but I did try to make the marriage work
while it lasted
.”

“It must have been very hard, but at least he gave you Marie,” he said gently.

“That’s the one thing Alan did right.”

“Does he live here on the island?”

“He did, but he was killed a couple of years ago in a car accident. I suppose it makes me sound bitter, but I didn’t mourn his death – nor did Marie.” She set the book aside. “She’s been gone for months and I still feel so hollow inside. Maybe if there had been a burial things would be different. I need to have some kind of closure,
Douglas
.”

“I know it’s been hard. Do you have something in mind you’d like to do?”

“Yes, I’ve given it a lot of thought. I want to go to the place in the Amazon where your people had their base camp. I need to see the last place where my daughter was doing what she loved before everything ended for her. I’ll understand if you’d rather not go with me, but I’d appreciate it if you would set up the trip.”

He pulled her fully into his arms.

“On the contrary, I have a few ghosts of my own to bury, and I think it’s only fitting that we make this pilgrimage together.”

She leaned her head against his shoulder.

“Thank you. I know it isn’t going to be an easy trip for either of us, but I’d appreciate having you go with me.”

“I felt like I should have gone with the rescue team, but was politely told I would have been in the way. Since we’re going, I’d like to make inquiries about Josh Dallas. Perhaps something new may turn up. It’d be nice to have some news for his family.”

Chapter Ten

Josh’s recovery was agonizingly slow.
There didn’t seem to be any part of his body that hadn’t
suffered from his ordeal. His shaggy hair and beard along with his drop in weight made him look worn and haggard like an old man whose vitality had long been used up. But regaining his physical health was only part of his battle to be well again. He also had to fight mental and emotional demons, and the wors
t
part was not knowing who he was and why he’d come to be in the Amazon.

Vague fragments of wild ramblings flashed in and out of his weary brain with tidbits of information that teased, but never told him enough. Josh thought he’d seen a woman
in his delirium; beautiful and delicate with pale hair that shimmered like a light in the dark corridors of his mind. He remembered finding comfort in the vision and reached out, wanting to hold onto the image.
At
other times
another woman
appeared
. This one had red h
air
,
and in
his
fog of confusion
always seemed to be cowering and weeping.

Raymond
felt Josh had subconsciously blocked out an ordeal so horrible his brain had buried it along with his identity to protect himself. Since he didn’t know his name, they called him Paul. Raymond approached Josh and asked him the same question he asked every day.

“Has anything new come to your mind yet?”

“No. It’s like swimming in a murky pool of water. I know something’s there and I’m going as fast as I can, but whatever I’m supposed to find stays just out of reach.”

“I confess I thought you would have regained your memory by now. You’ve been with us almost six months and I’ve made inquiries, but communication is sporadic at best here. I’ve been thinking you could have been sent to do some type of field work.”

“Another one of your theories, Raymond?” he asked, not unkindly. “If th
at were the case then why has
no
one come looking for me in all these months?”

“They may very well have been, but this is such a vast area it would be rather like trying to find the proverbial needle in a haystack. I suspect by the state you were in when you came to us that you could have been running away from someone. Or, you might have wandered off and gotten lost from your group.”

Josh snorted with self-disgust.

“If the latter is true, it makes me sound stupid.”

“Not at all. Even experienced people have lost their way here. The vastness of the Amazon is a whole world of its own within the greater picture. Hannah and I haven’t approached you about leaving our house because you’ve been so long in your recovery. But you won’t find what you’re looking for by staying here. Do you feel strong enough to travel now and go seek out some answers?”

“Yes, I’m more than ready. As long as I was so weak I was content to stay here in this protected environment you’ve provided, but I’ve been feeling restless lately.”