Defective (The Institute Series Book 3) (16 page)

Chapter Fourteen

Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Waking in Jayce’s arms, I shake my head at myself – not only for letting it get this far, but for the effort now needed to get out of here without waking him. I went to sleep blissfully happy, not allowing myself to realise what I’d done was a colossal mistake. But now I know. Chewing off my own arm to get out of here is probably my best option.

It’s still early, the bedside clock says 5:22am. I manage to get up and start getting dressed with Jayce only stirring a few times. Each time he moves, my heart stops. I silently tiptoe to the door, making my way outside of the apartment. I flinch when the door clicks shut loudly behind me.
Now where do I go?

I step over the tray of food that must have been delivered while we were… busy. What the hell was I thinking? I know for a fact he’s lying to me, I know for a fact I can’t trust him, and yet I do that?
What is wrong with me?

Making my way down the hall to Drew’s apartment, I hesitate before knocking. I don’t want to wake him, but I have nowhere else to go.

It takes a while, but when the door finally opens, I’m shocked by the face staring back at me.

“Jenna?” I say, disbelievingly. Taking a step back, I look at my surroundings one more time, making sure I have the right apartment. “What are—” My eyes widen as I realise I wasn’t the only complete idiot last night.

“Why are you up so early?” she asks.

“Oh, umm…” ‘
Because I regret having sex with your brother and now I want to hide.’ Yeah, that’ll go down well.
“Never mind. I’ll just come back later,” I stammer before heading for the elevator.

Stepping into the elevator in my daze of astonishment, I press the button for the Crypt without really thinking. Was it a force of habit from visiting Tate in his cell all those days after training? Or was it because I haven’t been down there since Chad died?

Whatever the reason, I find myself walking towards it when the elevator opens. My feet are unsteady as they shuffle forward, my gut pinching at the thought of reaching the Crypt floor.

When I reach the top of the stairs leading down to the main prison area, I don’t know what I’m expecting to see. But whatever it is, I don’t see it. Perhaps I expected pools of dried blood where nine people lost their lives, or a blown light smashed from gunfire. Maybe some leftover shell casings, or the doors to the now empty cells open from the finality of being liberated. I thought I’d see something that tells the history of this room. I didn’t expect to see crisp clean floors, everything in order, nothing askew or out of place.

Before realising what I’m doing, I’ve descended the stairs and I’m standing on
the
spot. I’m taken back to when I was forced to say goodbye, when Chad’s firm grasp became limp in mine, the moment I lost my will to fight.

The urge to lie down takes over me. The cold concrete floor stings my back, while tears fill my eyes until everything becomes a blur.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper to Chad, trying to conjure him back into existence. I imagine his face, his body lying next to mine. I imagine his blond hair, his hazel eyes that bore into mine, and that smirk; his arrogant yet charming smile that made me both weak in the knees and annoyed because it usually meant he was mocking me.

Being brought back to the reality of here and now, I have to wonder why in TV shows, dead loved ones always visit in a time of need, they give you signs, they let you know they’re still there – but in real life, you find yourself lying on a cold, hard floor talking to yourself.

Footsteps approach and I don’t even bother turning my head. Drew lies down beside me, right on top of my imaginary boyfriend.

“What did you do?” he asks quietly.

“I killed him,” I whisper, choking on my words.

“You what?” Drew exclaims, sitting up.

“It’s my fault Chad’s dead.”

Drew clutches his chest, his breathing becoming even again. “I was asking about Jayce. When you said you killed him, I was trying to figure out what to do with the body.”

His distraction actually makes me giggle, but it’s a sad laugh. “I didn’t kill Jayce, but it’s good to know if I ever do kill anyone, you’ll have my back.”

“Always.”

“I slept with him,” I whisper.

“Geez woman! Do you have no self-control?” he asking, lying back down next to me. I know he means it in a joking manner, but it’s a little too soon for that.

“Apparently not,” I mumble. “Seems like I’m not the only one with self-control issues, though.”

“Nothing happened between Jenna and me.”

I wave my hand at him dismissively. “I don’t care if it did. I just can’t believe we were both so stupid.”

“Speak for yourself.”

When I don’t laugh at his playful words, he realises how dark a mood I’m really in.

“Come on. Let’s get up and get started on this Paxton thing. I’m already packed so let’s go back to the city.”

“You’re coming with me?”

“Of course. Now, get up,” he says, standing and reaching his hand out for me.

***

“Are you sure you can be away for a few days from this place?” I ask when we make a stop at his office before going down to the car.

“I’m sure they’ll manage without me. I’ve trained my assistant pretty well. You remember Licia, don’t you?” he says, smirking.

“Licia?” I exclaim a little too loudly.

Of course I remember Licia. She was my first and only assignment as an Institute agent. I saved her from being arrested. She was there when we took over the Institute, but I haven’t seen her since. We lost touch… well I guess, I lost touch. I stopped talking to everyone after Chad died. She’d be eighteen now. Eighteen and already Assistant Director of the Institute. I’m not really all that surprised. She always was motivated and up for anything. She wasn’t originally part of the plan to take over the Institute, she insisted and practically forced herself into it.

“She’s doing great. She’ll make an excellent director one day,” Drew states.

“In many, many years to come, right?”

Drew shrugs. “Maybe sooner, who knows?”

“You don’t like what you do? But you’re so good at it.”

Drew’s eyebrows perk up in surprise. “Really?”

I tilt my head to the side and give an apologetic smile. “I know I rip on you about it all the time, but I only do it out of love. I thought you were doing a good job even before I saw the projects you’ve been working on yesterday. Now I’m seriously impressed. You’re doing so well because you don’t have a hidden agenda like Brookfield and Paxton. You actually care what happens to us, to our world.”

“You don’t think Paxton cares?”

“I used to. I used to think a lot of things about that man. Now I don’t know what to believe.”

“Then let’s find out, shall we? I’m just going to leave Licia with a list of everything I’ll need her to do while I’m gone, and we can head out.”

I’m half-tempted to stay for a while, just so I can see Licia again. But I’m a coward and don’t want to run into Jayce. I wince at memories of last night.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.

“Stop beating yourself up about it,” Drew states coolly.

“I haven’t had to tune out my feelings from you in a long time, but I’ll do it if you don’t watch it,” I grumble.

It doesn’t take long for us to get out on the road. It takes even less time for the interrogation to start.

“Ok, spill,” Drew commands.

“Spill what?” I play dumb.

“What happened with Jayce?”

“What happened with Jenna?”

“Nothing happened. We were talking.”

I laugh. “Really?
Just
talking?”

“She didn’t want to be alone. That’s all.” I don’t miss the half smile he’s trying to suppress.

“You like her! Like,
like-like
her.” I sensed they were attracted to each other, but I didn’t think it would go beyond that.

Drew shrugs. “She’s alright.” He’s clearly trying to act nonchalant. It’s
so
not working.

“I wonder what it is about those damn Harrisons. Maybe they’re Defective magnets.”

Drew looks confused. “Why do you say that?”

“Oh, didn’t I tell you? Ebb is going out with their older brother, Jamie. Love at first sight apparently. Although it’s been almost a week, I’m not sure if they’re still together.”

“Well nothing actually happened between Jenna and me.”

“Then what did you talk about?”

“Stuff. The Institute, what I do, but mostly she just wanted to know about you and Paxton.”

“What? Why?”

“She’s worried you’re going to hurt her brother.” He raises an eyebrow at me.

Isn’t that exactly what I’ve just done? I can’t stop shaking my head at my actions. I know I’ve been sending Jayce mixed signals – telling him I can’t trust him and then sleeping with him?
I’m such an idiot.

“It may have been a mistake, but you can’t be angry with yourself for following your heart for once,” Drew says. I throw my head back on the headrest of the car seat, unsure of what to say to that. “I mean, look where following your head has gotten you in the past.”

“The last time I followed my heart – which, by the way, is a totally lame way of saying ‘did something stupid’ – was when I fell for an Institute agent.” I raise my eyebrows back at him.

“Yeah, that was pretty stupid of you,” he says with a smile.

“I’m scared I’m doing it again,” I admit.

“You don’t really think he’s some sort of undercover agent, do you? He doesn’t exactly act like a cop.”

“I don’t know what it could be, but there’s definitely something. Do you not care that Jenna is hiding something from you?”

“Jenna and I aren’t together, so it’s different.”

I grunt in frustration. “Jayce and I aren’t technically together either. Doesn’t make it any less hurtful.”

“You may not be together officially, but you’ve dated, you’ve been together, you’ve
slept together
, you clearly have strong feelings for him. It’s different.”

I sigh. “I’m done. I can’t talk about this anymore. It’s probably best if I just forget it ever happened to begin with. I’m leaving the clinic in a week, I won’t have to see him after that. I just need to make it through this week.”

Drew shakes his head. “Running away from him isn’t going to help.”

“Let’s just do what we set out to do, okay? We need to work out why these photos are being sent to me.”

“Fine, but this conversation isn’t over,” he says sternly. “So if Paxton was the one sending the notes to you, what would he hope to get out of it?”

“Well, the first note would be to make me feel guilty over Chad’s death, which I already do.”

“It may also motivate you to help try to fix the Defective community,” he adds.

“The photo of me and Jayce? Maybe he was hinting that Jayce is hiding something, too? That I can’t trust him? Which it turns out, I can’t.”

“It also made you paranoid about being followed, right?”

I nod. “The third one – Tate in his cell. What would that be about?”

“Turning you against your closest friend?” Drew suggests.

“But it’s not like we’ve been close lately.”

“You still feel you’d be able to turn to him in a crisis though, right?”

I shrug. “I dunno. Maybe. I guess Paxton wouldn’t have assumed I’d come to you instead. I don’t think anyone would’ve assumed that. Do you really think it’s him?”

“It could be. How do we rule him out?”

“He’s been out campaigning this whole time. He would’ve had to have someone follow me to take those photos and send the envelopes. If we can find out who he has on his payroll, maybe we can find the person he’s paying off to do it. If he’s doing it.”

“So what do we do until then?”

We both think for a while. “Give him what he wants. If we do that and the notes stop – it will pretty much prove it, right?”

“Are you seriously okay with marrying him?”

“It won’t get that far.”

“You’d better hope not.”

***

“I’m home!” I shout as we arrive back at the apartment.

Paxton appears from the hallway, taken aback when he sees Drew’s with me.

“Jacobs,” he says, curtly.

“James,” Drew replies in the same tone.

“What’s going on?” Paxton asks me.

Drew is the one to answer. “Well I thought I’d make an appearance at one of these benefit things. I get invited to them all the time, but I’ve never actually been. I thought I could tag along with you guys, if that’s okay?” Drew puts his arm around me and watches for Paxton’s reaction. Paxton gives him a scowl, and I think that’s the answer Drew was expecting. He removes his hand and takes his bag over to the couch. “It’s alright if I crash on your couch, right, Paxton?”