Defective (The Institute Series Book 3) (19 page)

“I know I lashed out at a few people, but I don’t think I was that bad, was I?”

“You don’t remember how bad you were,” he states calmly.

He really
does
know what happened between me and my parents.

“Let’s just say there were quite a few times that you blamed me for everything that went wrong in your life, even though I never asked you to come rescue me. When I would argue that Chad was right, that you shouldn’t have risked everything to save me, you’d call me many names that I don’t care to repeat right now in front of a lady.” He raises his eyebrows at me.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“I was getting frustrated because I know Chad would’ve hated seeing you like that. I think you knew it, too, but you just couldn’t see what you’d become. You needed that push, but even when you started to do things – attending benefits with Paxton, working at the clinic – you never really smiled. Not a real, genuine smile. It was like you were going through the motions of doing what a normal adult does, without actually investing yourself in it. I could see your pain, and so I kept trying to get you out of your comfort zone. I’m sorry things have been so bad between us, but I thought I needed to be cruel to be kind. I didn’t know how else to help you.”

He’s right. I wasn’t helping myself.

“Clearly you just needed to get laid. That seemed to fix you right up.”

“I know you did not just say that!”

“I was never angry with you,” he repeats himself, turning serious. “I’m just glad to have you back. I’ve missed you.”

I try to inconspicuously wipe a stupid tear that has escaped.

‘I saw that
.
’

Tate drops me back off at the apartment with the promise of helping me find out the truth. If Paxton truly is guilty of what Cyrus says, it changes everything.

When the elevator opens and I step into the apartment, I’m met by Paxton, looking weary and annoyed, and a man I’ve never met. He’s mid-twenties, tall and broad. His long dark hair is tied in a ponytail at the nape of his neck.

“Allira, this is Thom. Thom, Allira,” Paxton introduces us. I step forward to shake his hand. “He’s the man you almost killed tonight.”

I raise my eyebrows in surprise. “Oh. Sorry about that.”
Although, technically it was Tate who almost killed him,
I want to say. “Why were you following us?” I ask, taking back my hand.

“He’s your bodyguard,” Paxton explains.

“Well if we’d known that, I’m sure Tate wouldn’t have done what he did.”

“Who did you think was following you?” Paxton asks.

“Uh… I don’t… we weren’t sure.”
Come on, Allira, lie!
“A journalist, maybe.”
Lie better!

“And you thought the best way to deal with a journalist would be to run him off the road?” He turns to my new bodyguard. “Thanks for tonight, Thom. I’m sure Allira will be more cooperative tomorrow.”
Why did that sound like a threat?

“Sorry again,” I say bashfully.

Thom just gives me a curt head nod and proceeds to leave. I realise he hadn’t spoken a single word while he was here.

Paxton looks less than pleased. “Okay, you need to tell me what’s going on. You said you were going for coffee, why were you heading into the city?”

“We just went for a drive. We were talking. You know how it’s been with Tate lately, I thought we should keep going while we were on a roll. Then we noticed we were being followed.”

He tilts his head. “What’s really going on?”

“Nothing’s going on. I’m going to go to bed. We have a big day tomorrow.”

“Allira,” he says in his fatherly voice he uses when Nuka’s in trouble.

“It’s nothing, really, but I just can’t shake the feeling that someone’s following me. Turns out I was right. Are you sure today was Thom’s first day?” I raise my eyebrow at him, wanting to see his reaction.

“This again? I’m sure it’s nothing.” He doesn’t give anything away with his tone or body language.
Nothing.

“I know, I’m just being paranoid. I’m going to go to bed.”

“Goodnight. I’m just down the hall if you get scared.”

I put on my winning fake smile to save me shuddering with contempt. “Goodnight.”

***

Looking at the giant diamond on my finger, the way the kitchen light shines off it, I raise my glass to take a drink, wondering if the diamond is even real. It’d have to be at least sixty years old if it was. It would have to be one of those lab-diamonds, not that they’re much cheaper.

Placing my glass back on the sink, my stomach churns at the idea of yet another evening campaigning, another formal political event to attend. Apparently this one is rather important. Then again, Paxton seems to think all of these silly parties are important. This one is actually
for
Paxton, though. Some campaigning party or rally… or something. I should really pay more attention when he tells me things, but I’m struggling to concentrate on his words while trying to figure out what he’s hiding from me.

Funnily enough, in the past week since we got engaged, I haven’t had a single note or photo sent to me. So am I meant to believe that my mystery person has just vanished? Does this mean Cyrus was right?

I haven’t been able to get away from Paxton, or the goon squad he has following me around all day and night. I haven’t seen anyone from the clinic, I haven’t seen Jayce or Drew. My life has basically been filled with Paxton, Shilah, Tate, and my new constant shadow, Thom. I’m starting to think he wasn’t hired to protect me, but to keep tabs on me and report back to Paxton. I haven’t been let out of his sight.

Ebb did call once, left a screaming message for me to call her back. I’m assuming she’s upset with me because the last time she saw me I was off on a date with Jayce, and then two nights later I was suddenly engaged to Paxton. I’m too chicken to call her back – I don’t want to be yelled at, and I don’t want to explain why I’m doing this.

“You look beautiful,” Paxton says, startling me out of my daze. “Are you ready to go?”

“Uh, yeah. I’m just…”
What was I doing? Oh right, drink.
“I’m just getting a glass of water.”

Paxton has been remarkably affectionate and kind this week. He’s back to his normal self. Or is it his fake self? I can’t be sure.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

“Yeah. I guess I didn’t realise standing still and looking pretty would be more exhausting than working at the clinic.”

He laughs. “It can get pretty tiresome.”

I shyly nod and try to move around him to exit the kitchen when he gently grabs hold of my arms. He brings me in for an unexpected hug that feels stiff and awkward, not at all how Paxton and I used to be.

“I realise I haven’t thanked you for doing this for me,” he says in my ear.

I pull away, glad that Paxton isn’t Defective with an ability like Tate’s or Drew’s. If he was, he would know that there’s no chance in hell that I’m doing this
for him
.

I manage a half-smile before walking off to grab my gold clutch that matches my dress, and then head for the elevator.

Getting into our limousine, I feel like I’m forgetting something, or missing something. It isn’t until I climb in and slide across the seat that I find what I thought was lost, sitting in the seat opposite me.

“Thom,” I nod in his direction.

“Miss Daniels,” he replies cordially.

I open my mouth in mock horror. “It speaks!”  It’s a rare occasion that he does open his mouth, but when he does, it’s usually only a few words. “I know you’re smiling on the inside,” I remark at his stone-like expression that he always seems to have.

“Stop teasing the man,” Paxton says lightly, settling in next to me. “He’s just doing his job.”

“Where’s
your
bodyguard?” I ask Paxton. “Why is it that only mine seems to be always two feet away?” I talk like Thom isn’t even here, but he doesn’t seem to care. Is that part of his job? To pretend he can’t hear private discussions?

“He’s up front, as usual. I would’ve thought you’d appreciate Thom being so close seeing as you’re being ‘followed’,” he says condescendingly and using air quotes.

I refrain from showing my anger, but find myself shifting in my seat uncomfortably. Is Thom the real reason the notes have stopped?

We ride in silence to the convention centre where tonight’s event is being held. Once we make our way through the throng of media outside and the dedicated voters and supporters inside, we find our table, which is right in the middle of the room. I’m assuming this is so Paxton can be on display all night. I’m bodyguard-lite now that I’m inside, but I can still see Thom lurking along the wall on the other side of the banquet room.

The night seems to drag. This is evident by the fact that when I look at Paxton’s watch I realise we’ve only been here for twenty minutes. I sit, staring at the floral centrepieces, telling my mind not to wander. But it does. It wanders over Jayce’s soft lips, strong arms, and his firm touch. I think of the night we spent together, and about the fact that he hasn’t even tried to call or get in contact with me since. Not that I
could
talk to him if he did, but it would be reassuring to know he still wanted to. Is he really that angry at me for leaving him? I sigh at myself – that was a pretty shitty thing to do. I guess getting engaged didn’t help much either. Actually come to think of it, I’d be amazed if Jayce ever spoke to me again.

I’m brought out of my… I guess I could only call it wallowing, by someone whispering in my ear. “Cheer up. It will all be over soon.”

I stand and throw my arms around Drew, relaxing a little at his presence. Then I see who he has with him.

“Licia!” I exclaim, moving away from Drew to wrap her in a hug. She looks the same, just as energetic and peppy as she always was.

Paxton stands to shake Drew’s hand while swiftly grabbing me around my waist with his left hand, pulling me away from Licia and back into his side.

“I’m surprised you could make it,” Paxton says with a smile, but I can hear the grimace behind his voice.

“Wouldn’t have missed it,” Drew replies with an obviously fake smile.

“Licia?” We’re interrupted by Shilah screeching.

He approaches with Tate, Shilah wrapping Licia in a hug while Tate comes to me. When Shilah finally pulls himself away from Licia and turns to me, I scowl at him.

“Should I be offended that you went to Licia before your own sister?”

“I haven’t seen her for months. I see you all the time these days,” he says, leaning in and kissing my cheek.

“So what made you tag along?” I turn back to ask Licia, taking a few steps closer to her as the others break out into their own conversations. Paxton moves with me as though his hand is now fused to my hip.

“I’ve been trying to get Drew to bring me to one of these things for ages. When I found out he attended one last week, I got all pissy at him for not bringing me. He doesn’t like it when I get mad.” She smiles proudly. “He promised he’d take me to the next one.”

“So you’re enjoying working with him then? You seem pretty close,” I ask, one eyebrow raised. I’m surprised Drew could be affected by Licia pouting at him.

“We are. He’s such a great teacher, and he has high hopes for me.” She looks at me and realises what I was implying. “Oh, yuck. Nothing like that. He’s like a brother to me. Besides, he won’t stop talking about some girl he’s met. I’m yet to meet her, but apparently she’s captivated him – his words, not mine.”

“Oh really?” I grin. “She wouldn’t happen to be tall, blonde, and gorgeous would she?”

Drew’s voice comes from behind Licia, “Nope. She’s short, brunette, and a pain in the arse. Stop talking about me.”

“Word at work is he’s had a late night visitor a few nights this week,” Licia says scandalously, ignoring Drew’s request.

“Really? Jenna would drive all that way just to see you?”

Licia’s jaw drops in excitement. “Allira knows her?”

He groans, making us both laugh. “And I always begged my parents for a sister,” he says shaking his head and making his way over to the bar.

“I just have to go check on a few things. You’ll be fine here, right?” Paxton asks me.

I nod. “Of course.” I’m actually relieved he’s leaving, I don’t feel pressured to be the person he expects me to be.

“I’ll make my speech in about half an hour. You need to be up on stage with me when I do,” he orders. He kisses my cheek, then walks away in a hurry.

Drew comes back with a beer and takes a seat at the table.

Sitting with the four of them, I realise I haven’t felt this good in a long time. The conversation starts flowing easily and I find myself smiling, joking, and truly enjoying myself. I think it’s a first for a political event.

“If someone had told us while we were with the Resistance that this was going to be our life, would you have believed it?” I randomly blurt out mid conversation.