Cruel Summer (16 page)

Also, I’m determined to hold my position as Petros’s #1 customer. Which pretty much requires me to spend some serious time (and money!) right here in his café!

And even though I know it probably sounds crazy, especially since I spent the entire first month pretty much hating every single thing about this place (I mean, Tinos, not the café), now that it’s almost time for me to leave, I’m actually kind of sad.

So with that in mind, I’ve been spending less time in my room, and more time at the beach and exploring the island, sometimes with Tally and Tassos, sometimes just out on my own, taking pictures of everything I experience—a few of which you can see here:

Enjoy—

Colby

August 17

To: NatalieZee

From: ColbyCat

Re: Arizona?

Hey Nat,

I wish I could answer your question, but I can’t. Because the truth is I have no idea whether I’ll be going back to Harbor, moving to Arizona, or enrolling in Cyber School (and no, I have no idea what that is, but I heard my parents mention it once during one of their many fights, so I can’t go ruling it out). Because as my mom recently explained, she had no idea the house would sell that quickly, and to quote her directly, she is now—“Doing my best, meeting with agents, frantically searching and putting the word out for a nice, affordable place for us to live, so
DON’T
go accusing me of not looking, or caring, or taking this seriously, Colby!”

She also assures me that she will let me know the moment she secures something, so I really need to “stop bugging her, stop second-guessing her, and just let her handle it.”

Whatever.

Anyway, it’s really nice of you and your mom to offer to let me use your address so I can stay at Harbor, but I really don’t want to impose, or get you guys in trouble or anything, and besides, I still don’t even know if I’ll need it. But thanks anyway.

Also, to answer your question,
NO,
Amanda has not offered to let me use her address. So, feel free to draw your own conclusions.

Okay, Petros is closing up shop for siesta—so, gotta go!

Colby

Colby’s Journal for Desperate Times

August 19

So yesterday started like any other day. I woke up, I ate breakfast, I showered, I checked all around the house, both inside and out, to see if Holly had come back (he hadn’t) and then I headed out the door and down to the café, taking my usual route, and enjoying the nice, sunny, slightly windy day, but also thinking how it wasn’t really so different from any other day I’d spent here. I mean, I actually remember thinking those very words.

But as it turns out, I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Because by the time I’d made it to the café and was reaching for the door handle, I was no longer thinking about much of anything, no longer noticing my surroundings, because I was back on autopilot, expecting just to go inside, say hi to Petros, order my frappe, and sit at my usual table where I’d log on and start blogging away.

Which is why I was so surprised to find the door locked.

So surprised that I immediately tried to open it again. Only it was still locked. And even after I’d taken a step back and gazed at the sign in the window, clearly seeing how it read
CLOSED
and
NOT
OPEN
, it was as though I still couldn’t quite make my eyes believe it. So I cupped my hands around my face and peered inside. And even though I didn’t see anyone in there, that didn’t stop me from tapping hard on the window, and yelling for Petros to come out from the back room and unlock the door and let me in already.

And even after he still didn’t answer, I just continued to stand there, gazing inside, wondering if it was some kind of holiday I wasn’t aware of.

But after awhile, when my laptop bag started carving a nice, deep wedge into my shoulder as I gawked at the locked and empty room, I finally decided to just let it go and was turning to leave when I spotted Yannis, coming out of a shop, just a few doors away.

Well, my heart started racing, and my palms started to sweat, and I felt so suddenly panicked (not to mention suddenly ridiculous for feeling so suddenly panicked) that I looked all around, frantically searching for somewhere to hide, someplace I could duck into, where he wouldn’t see me.

Only there was no place. Because I was trapped in plain sight, and he was heading straight for me. And left with no other option, I took a deep breath and ordered myself to just grow up, relax, and deal with it already. And just as I was doubting I could even do that, it occurred to me that he probably wasn’t coming toward
ME
at all. He was probably just trying to get to the end of the street, a street through which no fault of his own, I happened to be on.

So then just as he got that much closer, I turned really quickly and started walking away, the soles of my sandals slapping the pavement as though I had somewhere to be.

And even after he started calling my name, going, “Colby! Hey! Please wait!” I just kept going. Even when I started to feel pretty winded, I pushed on. Because no way was I going to stop to see what he wanted. I mean, I’d barely gotten through our last little meeting, so I definitely wasn’t up for a do-over.

But apparently, all that construction work has left Yannis in way better shape than me, because the next thing I knew, his hand was on my shoulder, and he was pretty much forcing me to stop, turn, and face him. And when I finally gave up and gave in, when I finally turned and looked, his face seemed so sad and so serious, my heart skipped a few beats.

Because in that exact moment I
KNEW
he was about to apologize. I was
POSITIVE
he was going to take it all back, everything he’d said, including the horrible way he’d laughed at me/us. I mean, it was so obvious, the proof was right there before me, all I had to do was look into his eyes and see it.

And the only thing left was for me to decide whether or not to accept.

But instead he said, “Colby, I’m so sorry, but Petros is dead.”

I stared at him, for what felt like the longest time, but was probably only a few seconds, and then I said, “No he’s not.” Then I started back down the street.

Though I’d barely taken two steps before he was right on top of me again, and this time he put both hands on my shoulders, looked me right in the eye, and said, “Colby, Petros had a heart attack. He didn’t make it.”

But I just shook my head and pulled away. “You’re wrong. I just saw him yesterday, and for your information he was totally fine,” I said, trying to understand why he’d even attempt to do something so cruel. I mean, what did he hope to get out of it? Why was he trying so hard to hurt me?

But even though he was shaking his head, saying, “Colby, please listen, it’s true. They were even going to airlift him to Athens but he did not make it. I’m very sorry to have to tell you this,” I just turned back around and headed home.

And when I saw Tally and Tassos that night, they confirmed it was true. But even though they fussed all over me, asking if I was all right, insisting that it’s perfectly okay to cry, I just couldn’t. I mean, it’s not like I knew Petros all that well. It’s not like I’d let myself get all attached. He was just some guy who provided coffee and an Internet connection. That’s it, nothing more.

Just like Yannis was a guy I once skinny-dipped with.

And Holly was just some cat I rescued until he was well enough to go off on his own.

And if at any time in the past, I was careless enough to think that any of those things had any more value than that, well, I was over it now. Because the truth is, it’s just a whole lot better to not let yourself get too involved with anyone, or anything.

Because in the end—everything comes to an end.