Cruel Summer (19 page)

August 26

To: NatalieZee

From: ColbyCat

Re: Thanks for the earrings

Hey Nat,

You’re not going to believe this, but I’m totally campaigning to get my parents to let me stay in Tinos! I have no idea if they’ll actually go for it or not, but I just sent them a very detailed letter making the best case I possibly could, so now I’m just crossing my fingers and hoping for the best.

I mean, it probably sounds weird and all, especially since I started out really hating it here, but even though I’m not sure exactly when or how it happened, I’ve somehow really grown to like it. And it’s NOT just because Yannis and I are back together (though I’m not even sure you knew we were apart, I guess we have a lot to catch up on!), because in just a few weeks he’ll be going back to Athens to finish up his last year of high school anyway, which means we’ll only be able to see each other on the occasional weekend. But the truth is, I really like this simple, uncluttered, island life. And even though I’ve made a mess of so many things since I got here (I promise to fill you in on all of that too), somehow my life feels a lot less complicated HERE than it does THERE. No yelling, no fighting, no domestic upheaval, everything’s just tranquil, quiet, and peaceful—three things I didn’t appreciate until I came here. Not to mention how there’s really not much for me to return to, so I guess I just don’t see the point in returning at all.

I mean, of course there’s still YOU—that is, if we’re back to being friends???

But other than that, there’s really not much for me to miss, since I’m pretty much over that whole Amanda and Levi scene, so allow me to take a moment to say—You were right! You were right! You were so very right!

Not to mention how I don’t even miss any of my “stuff” as much as I originally thought I would—which is pretty weird, since I really, really thought I would.

So anyway, if they let me stay here, then I’ll be enrolling in some kind of Cyber School, not sure which one, since there’s plenty to choose from. But if not, then it’s anyone’s guess where I’ll end up.

Okay, well, I’m meeting Yannis soon—so, e-mail me back when you can!

Colby

P.S. Oh yeah, I’m so glad you liked the earrings! I made them myself! Though I probably already told you that!

Colby’s Journal for Desperate Times When She’s Desperately in Love and Doesn’t Care Who Knows

August 29

So yesterday, when I went to the beach with Yannis, I finally worked up the nerve to take off my top! But only because neither Tally nor Tassos nor any of his three hundred cousins were there, which meant we were completely alone (well, other than the other tourists and beachgoers), but even then, I only had it off for like ten seconds, before I put it right back on.

And the second after I did it, Yannis rolled onto his back, squinted at me, and said, “Did you just flash me?”

But I just laughed as my fingers worked at retying my straps. And once everything was secured, covered, and stowed away safely again, I leaned in and kissed him and said, “Baby steps. You know, one small baby step at a time. That’s how you do it. That’s how all great change begins.”

And as he pulled me down on top of him and started kissing me back, my mind went straight to the pack of condoms I had stashed in my beach bag. And I wondered if we’d end up using them.

Ever since we got back together, it was like I’d become obsessed with the idea of sleeping with Yannis. I mean, not that I hadn’t thought about it like a million, gazillion times before, because I had, probably even more than that. But now that we were definitely back together, now that I just might be forced into going home, the whole idea seemed to take on a life of its own, filled with this overwhelming urgency (well, to me anyway, since it’s not like he was even aware of it).

Besides, I really, really like him. And even though I used to think I really, really liked Levi, now I realize I was wrong. Because my liking Levi had everything to do with Levi the Image and nothing to do with Levi the Person. I mean, I barely even knew him as a person, and what little I did know, well, I really wasn’t all that crazy about. But with Yannis everything is different. We have things in common, we laugh at the same jokes, and we can carry on a conversation just as easily as we can make out.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that Yannis is also like my good friend. And in light of all that, buying a pack of condoms just seemed like the right thing to do.

So the day after Petros’s funeral, I got up early, went into town, and purchased a three-pack at the local pharmacy. And I have to admit that the whole entire time my heart was racing, my face was burning, and it was almost as embarrassing as the time I had to buy tampons from this kid in my ninth-grade biology class who was working the register at CVS. But then I reminded myself how I’m not exactly from here, which also meant that the anonymous woman with the furry upper lip who was ringing up my three-pack probably assumed I was just another slutty tourist who she wouldn’t think twice about after I left. And even though she did glance from the box to me while raising her eyebrows, I just rolled my eyes and brushed it off, positive I had nothing to worry about.

And the second I walked out of that store, with the small brown bag clutched tightly in my fist, the contraband condoms secured in my possession, the specifics of just
HOW
and
WHEN
I would actually go about using them became pretty much all I could think about.

Seriously, it’s like every morning I wake up, I can’t help but think:

Will today be the day I sleep with Yannis?

And since time is seriously running out, I was starting to think that today was probably as good a day as any.

Though it’s not like I’d planned to do it right there on the beach.

Yet, wouldn’t you know it, just as I was really getting into kissing him back, I accidentally kicked my bag with my foot, which made the whole thing tip over, which made all the contents spill across the sand. And it’s not like I even would’ve stopped kissing him long enough to notice, except that when Yannis came up for air, he also started to clean up the mess.

And when he came to the small, silver packet, he looked at me, and said, “So you really did buy condoms. I thought they were making a joke.”

“What?” I gasped, sitting up so fast an entire constellation of stars swirled before my eyes, watching, in complete mortification, as the little packet, my most embarrassing purchase ever, dangled from the tips of his fingers.

“Christos told me,” he said, the condoms swinging back and forth in a rush of silver, as though I was being hypnotized. “But I think it was Georgos who told him. But actually, it all started with Katerina, Maria’s aunt. She’s the one who owns the pharmacy.”

“Your
LITTLE BROTHER
told you I bought condoms?” I asked, going straight to the most horrifying on the
LIST OF PEOPLE WHO KNOW I BOUGHT CONDOMS,
as I frantically tried to wrap my mind around how this could possibly ever have happened. I mean, wasn’t there some kind of law against this? Wasn’t there some kind of
INTERNATIONAL PROPHYLACTIC PURCHASING PRIVACY ACT?
And if not,
WHY
not? “And who’s Georgos? Do you mean
YOUR COUSIN
Georgos? And is that the Maria I’m thinking of?” My eyes were bulging, my palms sweating, my heart racing, my mind spinning, watching as Yannis just nodded, clearly amused.

“You mean the
WHOLE TOWN,
no, scratch that, you mean the
WHOLE ISLAND,
knows I bought condoms?” I yelped, clearly on the verge of hysteria.

He nodded again. “And now the entire beach too,” he added, laughing and glancing around at all the surrounding gawkers.

“Oh my God, this is
NOT HAPPENING!
It’s too horrible!” I buried my face in my hands, unable to look at him, unable to look at anyone, possibly ever again.

But he just laughed. “That’s Tinos,” he said. “You sure you still want to live here?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked, lifting my head and peering at him, my eyes searching his face, wondering where this was leading. Did he not want me to stay? Had he changed his mind—about me, about us? And if so, was it because I’m the kind of girl who buys condoms?

“Colby,” he said, dropping the stupid, silver package and cupping my face in his hands. “Things are different here. It’s not like what you’re used to back home. The island is small, everyone knows each other, and people like to talk.”

“I’ll say.” I rolled my eyes, wondering how I’d ever face those nasty gossips again, not to mention his brother and cousin, and so on.

“Think of it like high school. Or at least the way you described American high school to me. Only here, high school is not so—contained to one place. High school is where you live, all of the time, and there’s no escaping it. Ask your aunt Tally, she’ll tell you.”

“Tally knows I bought condoms too?” I said, thinking how it just seemed to get worse and worse, wondering if the list would ever end.

But he just laughed. “Probably. But what I meant to say was, she knows just how small this place can be. Why don’t you ask her about it sometime? You two never really talk, do you?”

And the moment he said it, I felt kind of angry. I mean, who was he to act like he knew something about Tally that I didn’t? I’m the one who just spent nearly three months living with her. But just as I was about to defend myself, and let him know how we happen to talk all the time, I realized he was right. We didn’t talk much at all. And when I really stopped and thought about it, I actually knew very little about her. Of course, I knew her likes and dislikes, was fully indoctrinated in all of her wacky beliefs, but I guess I didn’t really know all that much about her personal history. I didn’t really know much about
HER.
So in the end, I just looked at him and shrugged. But little did I know it was about to get worse.

Because then he looked at me and said, “And Colby, I want you to know that you don’t have to do this.”