Cruel Summer (12 page)

August 7

Leave it to me to take a monumentally great thing and mess it up in such a hugely colossal way that there’s just no fixing it. I mean, just when I was starting to be really happy, just when I was starting to think that my life was so great it was almost too good to be true—
WHAM!
I make sure that it isn’t.

I mean, let’s face it, I can barely handle one guy, much less two, so none of this should come as any kind of surprise to anyone, especially me. I guess I’ve just never been the kind of girl who can string ’em along and leave ’em begging for more, like Amanda, and practically everyone else in my cool new group (well, maybe I should’ve written FORMER cool new group instead, since, at the moment, I’m not exactly part of it anymore, and they haven’t exactly given me any indication of missing me, much less remembering me).

Anyway, I guess I’m just too serious, too dorky, too nervous, too big of a geek, too honest—except when I lie. Because every time I try to lie about something, the lie somehow manages to get so out of control, expanding and growing so big it practically takes on a life of its own, a life that eventually sets out to destroy my very own.

I guess that’s what Tally and Tassos refer to as
karma
.

Getting what you give.

So anyway, last night, when Yannis picked me up, he was acting all cute and sly and mysterious about where we were going. And even though I kept trying to guess, he just kept shaking his head, saying, “You’ll see.”

So when we finally ended up at what basically seemed to be a big construction site, I climbed off the back of his Vespa, took one look around and said, “Okay, I give up.”

But he just laughed, grabbed my hand, and tried to lead me inside. And when I hesitated by the front door, he kissed me on the cheek and said, “Relax, it belongs to my family, I just want to show you around.” Then he proceeded to give me a tour of the hotel he’s been working on all summer, but that probably won’t be completely finished until sometime this winter. And by the way he was smiling and pointing out all the little details, all of the things that were either his idea or that he’d personally worked on or built by himself, it was obvious he was really excited about showing it to me.

But no matter how proud he was, no matter how anxious he was for me to share in his excitement, I just couldn’t match it.

I was too busy staring at his sandals.

Yup, the same exact sandals that I never even noticed until Amanda made that nasty comment about them in her e-mail.

But now that she had, all I could do was gaze at his feet and think—
What the heck are you doing, Colby?

And even though I knew I was being
SHALLOW.

SOOO INCREDIBLY SHALLOW.

I just couldn’t help it.

Though I wish that were all, I wish I could say it stopped there, because unfortunately, it gets worse.

Because suddenly, the very same accent that, just yesterday, I found so adorable and sexy, started to grate on my nerves. And I found myself cringing every time he uttered something from his version of the cool American phrase book.

Stuff like:

Relax, it’s no problem.

Or:
Slow down, it’s no worries
.

Even his own language started to bug me, like when he, for the one millionth time, referred to me as:
Koukla Mou
.

It’s like, practically overnight, with just one stupid, bitchy e-mail from Amanda, I started questioning everything about him, about
US!
Like I’d completely lost the ability to see anything as I once had. Like I literally went from thinking I might really, really, really like him, to not even responding when he told me he loved me.

That’s right, he told me he loved me.

After we’d concluded the tour of the lobby, the reception, the kitchen, the bar, the gym, and a few of the other rooms and suites, he led me out to the pool area, that he just happened to have all set up with chairs and blankets and candles and music and food and drinks and flowers. And it should’ve been really romantic, because it
WAS
really romantic, except for the fact that the whole entire time all I could do was continue to stare at his shoes, cringe at his accent, and think:

What the heck are you doing, Colby? Summer will soon be over. August 31 is just around the corner. Levi will be here tomorrow. And now you have to make a choice.

You can either:

But what I also haven’t mentioned until now, is that earlier in the day, when I was getting ready to leave the café, I saw Yannis standing by the harbor, right there in the fish market, talking to Maria. And even though they weren’t doing anything other than just talking, seeing them together like that still managed to make my stomach go all queasy and weird, almost like someone had kicked it—really, really hard, right in the center of my gut.

And just after I thought:
Why is he in town, talking to Maria, when just last night he said he’d be working all day?

I thought:
Why does it even matter?
YOU
don’t live here. And this is nothing more than a fun, summer fling to keep you from dying of boredom! Soon you’ll be going home and you’ll never even see him again. And if Yannis wants to be with Maria—what’s it to you? You just need to focus on yourself and get your priorities straight! You’ve had your fun, and now it’s time to make a quick exit, get the heck out before you start believing you feel stuff that’s not even real!

But still, even though I knew all that to be true, it’s not like it stopped the horrible pang in my gut, my shortness of breath, or the hectic beating of my heart, as I watched Maria lean in and kiss Yannis, once on each cheek.

So after Yannis lit all the candles and turned on the music, he pulled me into his arms, brushed his lips against my hair, and whispered,
“S’agapo,”
so softly I almost didn’t hear it.

Except that I did hear it.

I just pretended I didn’t.

And instead of responding, I just grabbed us each a Coke and started pouring them into some glasses. And for the rest of the night I just went through the motions, playing the part of a girl who was enjoying a fun, romantic, lighthearted date.

But all the while, deep down inside, I was thinking about which ferry I should catch
tomorrow
(now technically today), which would get me to Mykonos in time to see Levi.

And even though it may sound horrible, shallow, stupid, and disgusting.

In the end, I was only trying to be practical.

Because the fact is, Yannis doesn’t go to Harbor High, but Levi does. And I never should’ve let things go this far to begin with.

August 7

To: Levi501

From: ColbyCat

Re: Mykonos!

Hey Levi,

I’m going to catch the 1:00 ferry, so I’ll meet U @ the dock when you get in.

C U soon—

Colby

Circle in the Sand

August 7

Just stopping in for a quick hello because in just a few hours I’ll be headed
HERE!

Yup, that’s a picture of
MYKONOS!!!

And I can hardly wait to see it for myself, since I’ve been dying to go there this whole, entire time!

Anyway, a very good friend of mine from home is visiting there, so I’m planning to hop on the ferry and go visit. So hopefully I will have lots of photos to share with you tomorrow! (Or the next day—since I’m really not sure when I’ll be getting back!)

So—

Kalo Takseethee
to me!

(That’s phonetic Greek for
Bon Voyage!
)

Colby

Circle in the Sand

Blog Comments:

Anonymous said:

What’s in Mykonos?

ColbyCat said:

Windmills, so they tell me.

Anonymous said:

What else?

ColbyCat said:

A world-famous pelican!

Anonymous said:

And?

ColbyCat said:

Wild nightlife?

Anonymous said:

Which are you most looking forward to? The windmills, the world-famous pelican, or the wild nightlife?

ColbyCat said:

Is this a test?

Anonymous said:

No, just a question.

ColbyCat said:

Then I’ll tell you when I get back. Though mostly I’m going to visit my friend.

Anonymous said:

Which friend?

ColbyCat said:

Tell me who you are and I’ll tell you who he is. Deal?

Anonymous said:

No deal.

ColbyCat said:

Your choice.