Confessions (17 page)

“Trinette?”

I didn't recognize the voice. “Who is this?”

“This is Kenyon,” he said with a chuckle that made my skin crawl.

“Kenyon?” What the hell was he doing calling me? “Whassup?”

“Trinette, can you please tell Nikki I need to talk to her?”

I looked down at the clock on my desk. It was barely nine o'clock in the morning. “About what?”

“None of your business!” he yelled into the phone. Then he apologized and started stuttering before I could cuss his ass out. “I-I'm sorry for yelling. I-I just need to talk to her…. It's important.”

“Well, I'm sorry. She and her
husband
are outta town, spending some time alone.”

“Do you know where she went?” It was sad how pitiful he sounded.

“Nope. And if I did I wouldn't tell you. Nikki's
married,
Kenyon, and you need to get that in your head. She's
m-a-r-r-i-e-d.
”

“Trinette, I know that she's
married,
but my baby and I are good for each other and you know we are. Don't you? Don't you know we're good together?” He sounded desperate for me to agree with him.

“She's happier with her husband.” Crazy fool. “I thought you went to church every Sunday.”

“I do.”

“Then you know all about the Ten Commandments and wanting your neighbor's wife, or however it goes.” Hell, my ass has been sinning for years.

“I don't care what anyone says, I know the Lord put us together. I just know it.”

Okay, this mothafucka had not only flown over but had the nerve to land on the damn cuckoo's nest. I hung up on his ass. Nikki can listen to that shit, because I was not. What I am going to do is have a long talk with Jay about his boy, because something definitely was wrong with him.

“Trinette, you're wanted in the conference room,” Claudette called from the front desk.

Oh, shit! This is it! I got all excited and rushed into the ladies' room to freshen up. Last week I had interviewed in front of a board of five for Yolanda's position. I answered every question that came my way with confidence and sophistication. Those members were impressed with my knowledge and dedication to the organization. I can be ghetto, but trust and believe, Ms. Netta knows when to turn that shit off and play the game, and last week I played it well.

While I powdered myself I thought about the chances of my being offered the director's position. One hundred percent. At the end of the interview I was told it was going to be at least six weeks before they made a decision, and possibly a second interview, but apparently they knew a good thing when they saw it. I freshened my lipstick and tried to think of my acceptance. The best way would be to act as if I had no idea when I knew all along that job was mine.

With my purse under my arm, I sashayed to the conference room, knocked once, put on a smile and entered. The second I stepped in, I stopped when I saw who was sitting at the table with Yolanda. There weren't any board members. The only other person in the room was Cimon.

Yolanda signaled me over to the table. “Trinette, come on in and take a seat.”

Cimon rolled her eyes at me. I gave her my infamous smirk that dripped with confidence about who I am and what I do as I took a seat.

“Cimon came in to see me about you suspending her case, and since you're her case manager, I felt it was only fair you sat in on the meeting.”

“I agree.” That bitch thought she was going to be able to go behind my back and dog me.

Rolling her eyes, Cimon replied, “Well, like I told her, I can't feed my kids without my stamps.”

Yolanda glanced briefly at her file as she spoke. “Yes, I understand, but there are a few flags in your file.”

“What kinda flags?”

No, this bitch ain't sitting here acting like she had no idea what we've been talking about. Uh-uh, she wasn't about to make me look bad. “As I told you,
Cimon,
I needed to see proof of income to cover your car note.”

“My daddy pays it,” she replied with a smirk I was tempted to slap from her face.

“And that's fine. We just need to know that.” Yolanda hand wrote a couple of notes in her case file. “Please understand, we're not here to point the finger. We provide a service. Getting benefits is not a privilege.”

“Nor is it a way of life,” I added, making sure that hood rat knew my director had my back. “That's why we have programs in place for job training, which so far you don't seem the least bit interested in.”

She pouted her lips with attitude. “Am I gonna get my food stamps or what?”

Yolanda nodded. “I'll reinstate you for three months.”

Cimon turned and gave me a smug look. “I would also like a new worker.”

Yolanda's eyes traveled nervously from Cimon to me and back to Cimon. “Everyone has a heavy caseload.”

Cimon sucked her teeth. “I think working with her is a conflict of my interest.”

“Why's that?” Yolanda's brow rose.

“'Cause she's screwing my daddy.”

It took everything I had to keep a straight face. How in the hell had she found that out? Yolanda looked confused and at a loss for words. So I decided to help her out. “Sleeping with your daddy? I have no idea who your father is.”

“Everyone knows my daddy. Simon Clark a.k.a. Smooth.” She said his name like he was a celebrity or some shit instead of a brotha with a limp dick.

“Sure, I've heard of him,” I explained smoothly and shrugged like it was no big deal.

“Well, I don't want her handling my case.” She blew out a long breath.

I got ready to speak, but Yolanda held up a hand, halting any further discussion. “Fine. I'll reassign you, but the same rules apply.” She rose, marking the end of our meeting, and headed out the conference room. I watched that hood rat get up and I cringed. Her low-rider jeans were so low, I could see the crack of her ass. Cimon glared in my direction as she headed to the door.

“What the hell you looking at?” I asked. I might have class and style, but I'm from Englewood Park and I would go toe-to-toe with her ass.

She stopped and propped a hand at her bony waist. “You just make sure you stay away from my daddy,” she warned.

“Or what?”

A sinister smile curled her lips. “Or you'll be sorry.”

Rising, I sashayed over in her direction, until I was standing a few feet away. “Little girl, I don't scare that easy. So unless you want to lose your food stamps for real for real, I advise you to get outta my face.”

Cowardly, she backed away, then started laughing. At least she had sense enough to turn on her heel and leave. As I watched her move down the hall, I wondered if she was the one who had left that message on my windshield.

I spent a lovely week in Las Vegas with my husband, then kissed him good-bye and watched him board his plane, heading back to join his unit in Iraq. I cried most of the flight home. It had been two days and I was missing him like crazy and counting the days until his return.

To help pass the time, I buried myself in my work at the bookstore. It had been a considerably long day and I couldn't wait to get home and take a hot bubble bath and relax before Donovan called me around nine.

I pulled into the driveway, then moved up the porch and put the key in the lock. The second I opened the door, Rudy came to greet me. What in the world? He was supposed to be in the kennel. I grabbed an umbrella from the closet close to the door and carried it through the house, as I followed the smell of pork chops into the kitchen. I stepped cautiously into the room and found Kenyon standing at the stove with a spatula in his hand. As soon as he spotted me, he gave me a warm, welcoming smile.

“Hey, baby. Dinner will be ready as soon as the potatoes are done.”

I looked at Kenyon as if he was crazy. “How the hell you get in here?”

“I used my key,” he replied with a shrug. “When I drove by the bookstore and saw you were still there, I thought maybe you'd be getting in late and I wanted to make sure my baby had a good hot meal after a long day.” He was smiling and looking like his cooking in
my
kitchen was the most natural thing in the world.

I couldn't believe this shit. “Kenyon, we're not together anymore.”

“Sweetheart, listen.” He paused and took a deep breath. “I know you're confused, but I'm here for you…. That's never gonna change. Soooo…why don't you run upstairs? A bubble bath is waiting for you.” He walked over and had the nerve to try to kiss me. I jumped away from him.

“I want you to leave
now
!”

“No, you don't,” he said, then turned and moved back to the stove. “I'm not finished cooking yet.” Rudy ran over to Kenyon and jumped on his leg. “See? Rudy wants me here.”

I was so mad, I could hardly speak. “I don't care what Rudy wants. I want you outta here!”

At first he looked surprised by my behavior, then Kenyon dropped the spatula and came over and put his hands on my shoulders. “Baby, why are you acting like this?”

I jerked away from his touch. “Quit calling me baby! I'm not your baby!”

Holding up his hands in surrender, he replied, “Okay, okay. I'm sorry. It's gonna take me a while to get used to calling you Nikki.”

“Rudy, come over here,” I called, but my dog didn't budge. “I said come here!” He still didn't move. I rolled my eyes at Kenyon. “Listen…I've already told you Donovan and I are saving our marriage.”

He turned his nose up. “I don't know why you're wasting your time when you know it's not gonna work. You love me.”

“I
love
my husband.” Talking to him was like speaking to a brick wall.

Kenyon shook his head. “But you love me too.”

It took everything I had to control my voice when what I wanted to do was scream at the top of my lungs. “Kenyon, I care about you, but what we had is nothing like my relationship with Donovan. We've been together most of my life. That means more to me than our two-month relationship.”

He moved toward me. “Where was he when Big Mama died? Huh? I was here by your side doing everything I could to support you. You opened up your home and your family to me, and now you wanna take it all away.”

I couldn't believe it. He looked as if he was seconds away from crying. What was even worse was I actually felt sorry for him. “I really appreciate everything you've done for me, and I'll never forget it, but my husband will be home soon and we plan to make our marriage work.”

Moving closer, he forced a weak smile. “I understand, but in the meantime until he gets back, I wanna be with you. We're good together. I don't wanna make love to any woman but you.”

Why did he have to bring up sex? True, our connection was powerful and explosive, and nothing like I have experienced with any other man. But with him whining, the last thing in the world I would want was for him to touch me. “I'm not gonna ask you again to get outta my house. If I do, I'm calling the police.”

“Baby, why? You know I would never do anything to hurt you. All I want is the best for you.”

I propped a hand to my hip. “Then leave me alone so my husband and I can work out our marriage.”

His smile was sad as he shook his head. “I can't do that, because I love you too, and I already know it isn't gonna work between the two of you. You and I talked about everything together, things you couldn't talk to him about…and our sex life is wonderful. We fit perfectly together and you know it.”

Did he realize his begging was such a turnoff? “All I know is you better get out my house. I don't care how things were between us. That's the past. Our relationship is over.” From the puzzled look on his face, I could see talking to him was a big waste of time. He was totally clueless.

“Let's just sit down and eat, and when we're done if you still want me to leave I will.”

“I don't want your food!”

He flinched at the tone of my voice. “Nikki, I haven't done anything to you. I was there for you when you wanted me. I haven't tried to do anything but love you. So why do you suddenly hate me so much?”

“I don't hate you,” I cried defensively.

“Then why do you act like you do? I've done nothing but love you.”

I just stood there unsure what to say. He was right. I didn't have a reason to hate him. He was the victim here, and instead I was acting like I was. It never dawned on me how he was feeling. “I'm sorry. I really don't hate you, Kenyon. I hope when the dust settles we can at least be friends.”

Grinning slightly, he replied, “Well…how about we start with you having a seat and eating? Woman, I slaved over that hot stove for you,” he teased.

Kenyon looked so pitiful and the food looked so good. I released a heavy sigh, then went ahead and slipped off my jacket and took a seat at the kitchen table. My desire for a bath would have to wait until after he'd gone. As soon as I was seated, his smile returned. Probably because I let his needy ass have his way.

Kenyon reached inside my refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of wine, then reached for a corkscrew. “I bought your favorite. I was at the store and I said, ‘My baby has had a hard day at work. Let me get her a bottle of wine.'”

I released a heavy sigh. I hate when he talks to himself like that. The sooner I get this over with the better. The second he filled my glass, I brought it to my lips. The way I was feeling, I'd have the rest of that bottle finished in no time.

“Baby, how was your day?”

My eyes rolled in the direction of his smiling face. “My
name
is Nikki, and my day was long and eventful like every Tuesday.”

“I'm sorry to hear that.” Reaching inside the cabinet over the sink, he removed two plates and stepped over to the stove. “If you want I can give you a massage after your bath.”

I shut my eyes to keep from screaming. I saw why he hadn't had a woman, because who in their right mind would want him? “No, I'll be fine. After I eat I'll take a bath and relax.”

“But I already ran your water,” he insisted. “Go ahead and take your bath, then we can eat. I'll wait.”

See…this is what I got for feeling sorry for him. “No! The only reason why I'm not putting you out is because you cooked. So, let's just eat.”

“Okay…okay.” He carried over the plates and took a seat across from me. I looked down at the food and had to admit it looked as good as it smelled. “I spoke to my sister Paulette today. She told me to tell you hello.”

“Next time you speak to her, tell her I said hello.” I hated to say it, but I was going to miss his family more than I was going to miss him.

Kenyon tried talking with his mouth full. “She planning a surprise birthday party for my oldest sister next month and she wanted to invite you.”

I shot him a hard look.

“Baby, please, just think about it. You know how my family feels about you, and Paulette would like to have you there.”

I shook my head. “I can't.”

He stared at me for a moment before he finally spoke. “Just…just think about it, okay? I'm not going without you.”

I took a bite of my pork chop. It was pretty good. “Why not? That's
your
family.”

“But I can't show up without you. They've never been there for me like you have. I'm serious. My sister's more interested in you being there than me.”

I finished eating relatively in silence while he rattled on and on about his day at the office. He was an insurance agent and a natural-born salesman. As soon as I was finished, I carried my plate over to the sink.

Kenyon sprung from his chair. “Let me have that. Go on and take your bath while I clean the kitchen,” he insisted.

I shook my head. This dude just didn't know when to quit. I guess that's why he works in sales. “Don't worry about it. I appreciate you cooking.”

“You know my mama raised me better than that. I believe in cleaning up my mess.” He was too damn persistent.

Suddenly I felt a migraine coming on. “No, I don't want you to clean up. I just want you to go.”

“Why are you treating me like this? I thought we were enjoying dinner as two friends.”

I'd had more than enough. I held out my hand. “Give me my key.”

He reluctantly reached inside his pocket and handed it to me. “Will you call me later?”

“Kenyon, I'm not promising you anything.” Raw hurt glittered in his eyes, but there was no way in hell I was feeling sorry for him.

“Well, I'll…uh…I'll just wait and maybe I'll hear from you later.”

I walked to the front door and held it open. “Good-bye, Kenyon.”

He stepped out onto the porch, then turned around. “If you call and I'm in the shower, just leave a message and I'll call you right back.”

I shut the door in Kenyon's face. He'd be waiting a long time for that call.