Breathe Again (13 page)

I could do this
, I kept chanting in my
head.
I
could do this
.

The villa was absolutely breathtaking.
Thank god Jackson really was the one who had left my name at the front desk of
the hotel; they immediately took me to where we were staying.

It wasn’t too terribly big, but we didn’t need much for the
just the two of us. It was a small Spanish-style house, with a full kitchen and
two bedrooms. Each bedroom had a huge bathroom, with a jet tub and vanity.
Terra cotta tiles covered the floors throughout the villa, and everything was
decorated in natural wood and bright colors. There was even a small patio in
the back, with a tall fence to keep prying eyes away. I eyed the lounge chairs
next to the hot tub, knowing exactly what I was going to do to keep myself busy
until Jackson got back.

Someone had brought my bag into the larger of the two
bedrooms, so I went in to unpack my things. I didn’t bring much, but I
definitely brought the new bathing suit I’d gotten the week before. My parents
had always insisted that we wear modest bathing suits back in Kansas, which
obviously meant no bikinis. I was still rebelling against their ways, which is
why I’d bought the tiny red bikini. It wasn’t like anyone other than Jackson
would see me anyway.

I put it on and then threw a sheer white cover-up over it.
Jackson had left his Ray-Ban aviator sunglasses in his car, so I stole those
too, and made my way to the kitchen to see what was stocked. It was pretty much
empty, except for a few bottles of white wine and some cheese and fruit. I
grabbed a bottle and a glass before heading outside.

The yard was mostly in the shade of a cabana, so I didn’t
really need to worry about putting on sunscreen. I was the type to burn
quickly, but I would move if the sun did. Even in the shade it was probably
ninety-five degrees outside. Usually I was miserable back at the loft, which
didn’t have air-conditioning, so I planned on taking full advantage of being
here.

I had a book to read, but I couldn’t really concentrate on
anything. My mind was too full of Sophia and those crazy women, and how strange
I felt being in a place like this. It was only a year ago that I’d thought I
would be spending the rest of my life in that little town, and I was okay with
it. Or so I thought. I had no doubt that being there wasn’t right for me now,
but was this life right for me?

I loved Jackson; I knew that without a doubt. He was far from
perfect, but then again, so was I. We were imperfectly perfect for each other,
I thought with a strained giggle. But there was so much more to it than that.
If it were just Jackson, I could do it. If it were just the two of us, and we
could live a quiet life without so much attention, I could do it. It wasn’t
just us, though. I would have to share him with the world. Could I really do
it?

By the time Jackson got back to the villa nearly two hours
later, I was still sitting on the chaise and the bottle of wine was almost half
gone. He surprised me when he came in and found me outside. I was too busy
inside my own head.

“Hey, baby,” he said, wrapping his arms around me from behind
the chaise. He kissed the top of my head and moved to sit down next to me. “I
missed you.”

I put down my book, which I wasn’t really reading. “I just
saw you a few hours ago.”

“Yeah, but if it were up to me, you’d be next to me all the
time.” He started kissing my neck and I closed my eyes, enjoying the feel of
his lips against me. “You look so incredibly sexy sitting there in almost
nothing.”

I turned to him and put my lips on his. He reacted
immediately and pulled me onto his lap. I was still wearing his sunglasses, and
my red bikini made me feel a lot more confident than I usually felt.

I ground my hips into him and heard him groan. It had to be
one of my favorite sounds in the world. I pushed him back onto the chaise so
that I could press my body against his.

“God, Mel, you’re fucking hot as hell. I don’t know that I
would have been able to stay on set if I’d known you were here, wearing that,”
he said breathlessly into my ear as I rubbed my chest against his and nibbled
on his ear. He was wearing far too many clothes for what I wanted to do to him,
and I began unbuttoning his shirt. I trailed kisses down his chest as I did, making
my way down from his neck to the V that dipped under his jeans. I could feel
his hardness through his pants and needed to get it free.

This was how I wanted him. I wanted him here, just for me. I
didn’t want all those other women in the world to think about doing it to him
and I didn’t want him to think about all those other women that would. I would
make him believe that I was the only one; the only one who could make him feel
this way.

He sprang free and I glanced up to see him watching me with
hooded eyes. I was between his legs and he was getting a good look at my
cleavage underneath the sheer cover-up I wore. I pulled it over my head and
slowly pulled the string to the top of my bikini so that I was bare on top. I
stared at him for a second before licking my lips.

“Oh god,” I heard him say, breathing hard. He had his eyes on
my breasts and I bent down to rub them against him. He moaned again, and I
couldn’t help smiling. I had him exactly where I wanted him.

I glanced over my shoulder, reassuring myself, again, that
the fence really was tall enough for me to do this, and dipped my head. He
hissed as soon as he felt my tongue and I let myself lick around his tip. I’d
tried pleasuring him with my mouth before, but it had taken me a few tries to
really figure out what he liked. Hearing him curse under his breath as I licked
and sucked him turned me on and made me want to keep going.

“Mel, god, I can’t last like this, and I want inside you,” he
whispered. I glanced up at him. His eyes were closed, and his head thrown back
against the chaise. I let myself lick him for a few more seconds, then kissed
his thighs and slowly made my way back up his stomach to his chest. When I
finally made it to his neck, I licked behind his ear.

“I want you inside me too,” I whispered, nipping lightly at
his earlobe. I pulled back and knelt on my knees between his legs. He just
watched me, his eyes filled with hunger. It was like he knew that I was meant
for him, that I was made for him. I bit my lip as I pulled the bottom of my bikini
down slowly, refusing to move my eyes from his. As soon as they got to my
knees, I moved my arms to his sides so I could support myself while I kicked
them off, and then got back on my knees. I wasn’t afraid to be naked in front
of him, not anymore, though being outside did make me a little nervous.

Apparently it didn’t bother Jackson at all, because he didn’t
hesitate before grabbing me and throwing me down on the chaise underneath him.
He ran his hand down my side, stopping at the curve of my breast, then down my
stomach and to my hip.

“I love you, Mellie,” he whispered into my ear, before
slipping inside me. I was already wet and ready, and he slid in easily. I
gasped and clutched his shoulders for support.

“I love you,” I said, as Jackson began rocking in and out of
me. It was the most delicious feeling in the world, being filled by this man.
It made me forget everything but us, the way we really were with each other.

We moved against each other for a long time, breathing
heavily and whispering to one another so those outside the wall wouldn’t hear
us. It was exciting and exhausting in the best way possible. Eventually, too
soon, I felt that now familiar clenching inside of me, and pulled Jackson even
closer as he came.

Jackson collapsed on top of me, but then moved to his side so
he could keep me in his arms. Our legs were tangled, our breathing heavy.

“What was that all about?” Jackson said between labored
breaths. I just snuggled under his chin, kissing his strong jawline. He smelled
amazing, just like always.

“I missed you too,” I said quietly.

We stayed quiet for a few moments, enjoying the feel of the
sun on our bare skin. I don’t know that I’d ever been naked outside before, but
it was definitely something I would do again, if I could.

“I’m sorry about earlier, at the lot,” he said eventually,
shifting me so he could look into my eyes. I shrugged and went to grab the
cover-up that I’d dropped next to the chaise. Jackson didn’t let me put it on,
though, instead forcing me to look at him. “Really, I’m sorry. I made sure they
have your name on the list permanently, so that won’t happen again. I promise.”

I nodded. “It’s fine, nothing to worry about, Jackson.”

Jackson almost growled. “It’s not fine. I went and found
Heather after you left, to ask what the hell happened. Apparently it just
slipped her mind. She’s pissing me off right now, and I’m about to fire her
ass.”

I looked up at him and knew my face was horrified. “You can’t
do that, Jackson. You’ve told me yourself that she makes you sane.”

“Yeah, well, she’s a pain in the ass these days. I don’t know
what’s gotten into her, but she’s arguing with me all the time. Keeps
complaining about random shit. I’m over it.”

I sighed and pulled myself from his grasp before putting the
cover-up back on. I didn’t bother with my bikini.

“Give her a little bit longer, Jackson. I haven’t even had a
chance to really meet her, and I know you’re making her do stuff for me too.
It’s not fair. I’m sure she doesn’t like having to make arrangements for me and
whatnot. That’s not her job.”

Jackson rubbed his face, which had tanned a bit since he was
filming so much outside. It was a good look on him, and made me want to take my
cover-up right back off.

“That shouldn’t matter. She works for me, and she shouldn’t
have a problem with you.”

“Well, just think of it from her perspective. I’d like to
meet her sometime, and not just in passing. She’s a big part of your life too.”

Jackson just grunted and got up from the chaise to head
inside, leaving me sitting alone. I sighed and got up too. I wasn’t sure what
we were doing for dinner, but I did need a shower after that
exercise
session.

The bathroom in the main bedroom was huge, even bigger than
the bathroom at Jackson’s apartment. There was both a Jacuzzi tub and a large
shower, with tiled walls and three showerheads. I turned on all three, taking
advantage of the fact that this was
supposed
to be a vacation. For me, at
least.

I was in the middle of washing my hair when Jackson stepped
in with me. It didn’t surprise me; he liked getting into the shower with me
when we were at his apartment.

“I’m sorry I left you out there,” he whispered into my ear,
wrapping his arms around my waist. The water beat down on both of us, and I
sighed. I still couldn’t believe this was my life sometimes.

“Don’t apologize, Jackson, it’s not your fault. We don’t need
to talk about her right now,” I said, moving my head so I could rinse the
shampoo out of my hair.

“Here, let me,” he said, and reached up to help. It felt
divine. I sighed when he started massaging the conditioner into my scalp, and
then he began washing me with the bar of soap provided by the hotel. I closed
my eyes, focusing on the feel of his large, strong hands as they made their way
up and down my body. His touch still made my stomach flutter, made me feel safe
and wanted. He was good at expressing his emotions with his touch.

Once he was done washing me, I did the same for him, though
he had to lean down for me to wash and condition his hair. I ran the same bar
of soap over his back and across his chest, down his stomach and to his thighs.
Every part of him was so strong and solid. He was a work of art. And he was all
mine.

When I began washing his hips, Jackson grabbed my hand. It
startled me, and made me drop the soap. His strong grip pulled me back up to
him, and he pressed his lips to mine. We’d had sex in the shower before, but
this felt different, much more erotic and intense. I was still full from when
we made love out on the patio, but knowing that I was about to get Jackson
again made me even wetter.

Jackson licked the water that was dripping down my neck,
making me buzz with anticipation and want. His hands moved from my wrists to my
hips and down to my butt, pulling me in to him. He was hard again, ready for
me. I grabbed his face, forcing his lips down to mine. I licked and sucked his
bottom lip before pushing my tongue into his mouth. He reacted immediately. He
grunted, and I felt myself being lifted up. I wrapped my legs around his waist,
and suddenly he was inside of me. He walked us over to the wall of the shower,
and I felt the cold tile against my back. We weren’t under the water anymore,
and if it weren’t for Jackson’s heat filling me, I would have been shivering.

For the second time in less than an hour, I felt myself reach
that edge, before falling over it completely. I didn’t try to resist; I knew
Jackson was waiting for me on the other side. I shattered, my body convulsing
around him.

“Oh god,” I screamed, not caring who heard us. Jackson
immediately lowered his mouth to mine, claiming me, and forcing me to scream
into his mouth instead. As soon as I did, I felt him pour himself into me
again, and shudder violently. He went on for a few seconds, groaning into my
mouth.

Eventually he pulled his mouth away and looked into my face
earnestly. He looked so concerned that it made me laugh.

“What?” he said, pulling away from the wall and wrapping his
arms back around me so I wouldn’t fall. I tried to disentangle myself from his
grasp, but he wouldn’t let me.

“Nothing,” I giggled. “I think you broke me.”

Jackson growled and stepped out of the shower. He still
didn’t put me down, and instead wrapped a towel around the both of us. He
grabbed another towel before heading into the bedroom.

He didn’t put me down until we were next to the bed. He set
me down carefully and wrapped one of the towels around his waist. I reached for
the other towel, but he held it out of my reach.