Boston Boys [01] - A Life Without You (13 page)

“Yeah, but that’s the thing. He probably would have been welcome even though he left. I realized later that he must have been so grossed out by either what they did to Zeke or the whole gay thing that he didn’t want any part of it. Mind you, I’m gonna have some serious talk with dad once I get back. Seriously. He goes all bananas when he learns I’m gay, but he’s hosting events like these in his college days? That’s so not fair.”

“Fair? That was rape, Eric. Pure and simple. Why didn’t Zeke go to the police?”

Eric pulls the boxes open with a shrug and starts munching.

He’s wrong. It wasn’t because Jesse was homophobic. He was turned on by what was on the screens, but first and foremost outraged by Zeke’s treatment. No wonder he feels like he has to protect the kid from mobs.

“Wait, what happened to Zeke?”

Eric swallows a mouthful of rice and washes it down with Sprite. “After the third level of humiliation – whatever it was – he was told that they didn’t accept gays in their fraternity and turned him away.”

“But he’s not gay,” I more state than ask, with tendrils of horror still tingling under my skin.

“I know. It was just an excuse to get rid of him. They also got rid of those other no’s saying that they were gay too since they got off while being sucked by a guy. Still, it’s just as good that I walked out when I did, because I would have raised cold hell if they’d have told me that to my face.”

I pick at my food, but I can’t bring myself to eat it. Instead I swallow repeatedly as I think about what Eric just told me. “God, I feel like barfing my guts out. Seriously, that guy should sue.”

“Hmm,” Eric says and points his chopsticks at me. “You know, that’s not a bad idea. We could try to get everyone who’s
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ever gone through that to make it public, so that there’ll be this huge investigation and they’ll have to close down the fraternity. I like your way of thinking.”

The rest of the evening wasn’t so bad. Eric can be fun to be around when he isn’t whacking me over the head with a book.

He’s like a different person when there’s no studying involved. A little flamboyant for my taste, but fun.

“No, seriously, who would you fuck if every male actor on earth was available to you? George Clooney? Gerard Butler?” We’re back in the living room in front of the TV. I made Eric flip past the sappy Christmas movies and we found some splatter movie in the spirit of the holidays. The three-seater is best for TV watching, so we’re sharing a couch, both with our feet on the middle cushion, backs pressed against opposite armrests.

I dive my hand into the huge bowl of microwave popcorn.

“No way.”

“Then who? And you can’t say David Boreanaz because he’s mine,” Eric says.

“Dude, you’re so messed up. There isn’t anyone, okay? They all pale in comparison to Jesse.”

“Oh come on, lighten up a little. But since pretty boys like Jesse and Jazz seems to be your type, maybe early-day Brad Pitt?

Titanic-Leo? Taylor Kitsch?”

I shake my head with a grimace. “Well, if Jesse’s life was put on the line, I suppose I could live with doing Taylor Kitsch.” Eric nudges my knee. “There ya go!”

I rub my forehead with the back of my hand. “I can’t believe I’m having a girl talk with you.”

“What? It’s fuuuuun,” Eric says, accentuating his gay voice that makes my eyes roll.

“Though I’m not sure Taylor Kitsch would accept being a bottom,” I add after a moment of watching a guy’s head getting chopped off on TV.

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Eric laughs. “Then you bottom.”

“I don’t bottom.”

“Seriously? You wouldn’t even do it for him?”

“Seriously, I would only do it for one guy.”

“Ugh, Jesse.” Eric sighs. “But seriously, you don’t know what you’re missing.”

“You’re a bottom?” I run my eyes from Eric’s rhinestone pants to his manicured nails. “What am I saying, of course you are.”

Eric smirks. “But you’d let Jesse do you?”

“If I ever got the chance, yes, I’d endure it.”

“Well, hotness, maybe you just haven’t done it often enough.

It hurt for me at first but then I adjusted and now I can’t get enough of it.”

“No, I tried that but it always hurt like hell.” I fold my arms over my chest. “But since you can’t get enough of it, then why aren’t you seeing anyone now? Do you do it yourself or something?”

Eric winks. “Who says I’m not seeing anyone.”

“Well, I haven’t seen you with anyone besides your fuck buddies.”

“Ah, have you been worrying about me lacking intimate sex?”

“No,” I say and edge back in my seat because Eric just inched a little closer.

“Well don’t worry, hotcakes. I get all the sex I want whenever I want. There’s this guy on campus who fucks me on a regular basis.” Eric stretches his legs between mine. He’s so short that the tips of his toes barely reach the third cushion I’m sitting on.

“Though he’s away now and since I’m only sharing a house with His Grumpiness, who will revert to a virgin if he keeps on lusting after his roommate because it’s never gonna happen,” he says, stating the last words loudly, “I won’t get any unless I leave the campus.”

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He hasn’t moved closer, but he’s looking at me funny.

“I hope you’re not suggesting that we fuck, because
that
’s never gonna happen,” I say.

A wry smile plays on Eric’s lips. “I wouldn’t kick your sexy ass out of my bed if I’d just picked you up in a bar, but unfortunately for you I already know you too well. I want my men a little more cheerful and a lot less emo. You and I just aren’t compatible, so yeah, it’s never gonna happen.”

“Emo? I’m not emo.” I stretch my hand down towards the floor and pick up my fourth bottle of beer.

“Oh yes you are. You’re the villain Emoman who leaves a brooding trail everywhere he goes, killing cute little rabbits and homeless kittens with a mere glare. Dogs freak out when they see you and kids run and hide so that the evil Emoman won’t get them.”

I chuckle once with a shake of my head and watch TV for a while, though I’ve completely lost the thread…not that there was a thread to begin with.

“There’s one thing that still puzzles me, though,” Eric says.

“Only one thing?”

“Oh shush, you.” He nudges my shin with his toes. “I mean about the object of your obsession. I always thought that the homophobia was the reason why he hates my guts, but now I have no idea why.”

“Jesse hates your guts?” I say with all the doubt I can muster.

Seriously, Jesse doesn’t hate anyone. “When did he say that?”

“He hasn’t said it, exactly, but he conveys it perfectly with those cute little glares of his.”

“Jesse? Glare? You gotta be confusing him with someone else. Jesse only ever glares at me.”

“Nope, I’m telling you. I get a good-morning glare from him every day. The fact that I haven’t received my daily dose of glares from him for a whole week now has thrown my whole existence off balance.”

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Jesse was concerned that Eric and I would be the only ones in the dorm over the holidays. A short laugh escapes my lips. He really is jealous of Eric? I mean, I know he hates the idea of me with other guys, but honestly, just because we’re both gay…and spend a lot of time studying together…and sometimes chat in the hallways … Well good. It’s good that he gets a taste of jealousy for once. Maybe he’ll appreciate what I have to go through every time Chirpy calls.

It’s around midnight when I go back to my room and open the only present I got this year. It’s from Jesse – a gay novel he must have heard Eric and me talk about some weeks ago.

It must have been hard for Jesse to find it because it’s been out of stock for months. That means he probably ordered it online somewhere and I can’t imagine it being easy for him to do that either. But he did it. For me.

I gave him silk boxers and smile when I wonder how he’s going to explain that to his family.

After a lot of beers last night, Eric managed to coax me to go to Christmas lunch at Rick and Benji’s. Eric’s friend Calvin, or Cal-Al as he’s called, picked us up in his blue beat up Toyota.

I was startled when I looked into his pale blue, red-tainted eyes framed by jet-black eyeliner and mascara. His powder-white face was stark contrast with his black lipstick and black-colored eyebrows. The long, deep blue hair was lose around his face, reaching down his back and every time he swept it away I saw a row of piercings in each ear. I’m guessing that ‘Cal-Al’ is short for ‘Calvin the Albino.’ With a broad chest and muscled biceps, Cal-Al makes gothic/punk-rock look cool.

Heavy metal blasted from his stereo, louder in the back because there were added speakers there. It’s a good thing Eric let me sit in the front because I had a bitch of a headache from last night’s beer binging.

Correction. I
still
have a bitch of a headache from last night’s beer binging.

After a mouthwatering meal, Benji and Eric are chattering and giggling like girls at the table opposite me while Rick and Cal-Al argue about cars. Jazz is fiddling with the stereo in the living room, switching between music that pretty much sounds all the same to me. He ends up settling on cheery Christmas music with drums, bells, and whatnot. I rub my temples with closed eyes as I try to block out the noise.

I felt more than a little awkward when Jazz walked in after we arrived. He looked all hot and sexy in black leather pants and burgundy button-down shirt that’s nothing short of breathtaking with his dark complexion. He shot me a wink before greeting the others with tight hugs. I didn’t know what to do, so I twiddled with the corner of Benji’s red tablecloth and watched with great interest as Rick planted a big plate of turkey in front of us.

“Okay guys, let’s head for the living room,” Benji calls.

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Scraping sounds fill the dining room as we stand up and move to a bigger room with a black carpet and red sofas. I firmly plant myself in a single-seater while Benji sits in the loveseat and Eric, Jazz and Cal-Al all snuggle up against each other on the three-seater. My heart lurches just a little when Cal-Al leans to whisper something in Jazz’s ear and plants a soft kiss on his neck when Jazz starts snickering.

“Are you okay, Adam?” Benji asks. Apparently I was staring and now all eyes are on me.

“Ah, yeah,” I say, clearing my throat. Jazz casts me a smile that stirs my God damn groin. I quickly avert my eyes to Cal-Al. “Did you break up with that other guy?”

Like that’s any of my business!
It’s not like I’m gonna snatch up Jazz for myself or anything. I don’t even feel jealous. Well maybe just a little…

I just hate how he reminds me of Jesse. That’s the man I want snuggling against me.

“What other guy?” Cal-Al answers in his deep voice.

“The one at the dorm party.”

Cal-Al’s forehead creases until Eric pipes up, “You mean Terry?”

Recognition washes over Cal-Al’s face and he gives me a broad smile. “We’re not a couple, we just get together sometimes.”

“Fuck buddies,” Eric clarifies, as if I couldn’t figure it out myself.

I look from Eric to Jazz to Jazz’s hands that are now linked with Cal-Al’s.

“Is there a fuck-buddy system in Boston that I don’t know about? Is it really that common?” I try to link it in my head. Eric and Jazz are fuck buddies; Jazz and Cal-Al are fuck buddies; and Cal-Al and Terry are fuck buddies. That just sounds messed up to me.

“Honey, it’s that common all over the world,” Benji says with a laugh while Rick juggles multiple bowls and plates of snacks to A Life Without You
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put on the coffee table. “The reason you’re seeing it a lot here is because, well, we in this group along with Terry have pretty much been together at one time or another.” I raise my eyebrows. “And you can stay friends after that?” Rick returns with a couple of beer buckets and hauls them onto the table, picking up a few to pass around. I twist the top off mine and take a long swig, slowly feeling the headache fading.

“I’m not talking relationship-together together,” Benji says, casting Rick a sweet smile as he plops himself down next to his boyfriend. Their bodies automatically meld together when Rick places a muscular arm around Benji’s little shoulders. “I’m saying that we’ve more or less all been fuck buddies. Those three and Terry still are, but Rick and I are exclusive.” Is that what Jesse and I are? Occasional fuck buddies?

“Too bad Terry had that family thing,” says Eric and reaches for a cracker. “I wanted to tell him about my gayrority idea.” Benji rolls his eyes. “Oh Lord, you still on about that?”

“Yeah, bitch, I am,” says Eric, perching himself on the edge of the sofa. “There’s no GLBTQ program at school, which is just ridiculous, and I think it would be a great idea to have a house where gay men could shack up and support each other.”

“He means shack up and fuck each other,” Benji clarifies with a shake of his head.

“No, Benji, I’m serious,” says Eric, tossing a black cushion at Benji. “It’s important in the national battle of gay rights.”

“You told me that you guys would end up in orgies,” says Benji, giving Eric a condescending look.

“I was joking, you dope.”

“I didn’t know you’d become such a lobbyist,” says Rick and takes a big slurp of beer around an amused smile.

“Oh put a cock in it, Red,” Eric shoots back and looks to me for help.

This is the first time I’ve heard of this though he regularly
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bitches about the lack of GLBTQ support in school.

“It’s a good idea,” I say, watching Eric’s smile spread on his heart-shaped face.

“It’s a
great
idea,” Eric continues. “I mean, there are sororities and fraternities – both houses with no real purposes other than to act all high and mighty and put others down, so why not a gayrority that has the noble purpose of building inside and outside respect for gays? We would be visible and that’s the only way to get accepted – to get people used to us until it doesn’t bother them anymore. The gayrority would support guys who are coming out and the members would help them learn to live with their gayness. And okay, so maybe we’d all end up in the occasional orgy, but c’est la vie of a gay man.”