Boston Boys [01] - A Life Without You (23 page)

I half-jog back around the house. Eric never went inside; he’s sitting against the wall just beyond the corner. He stands up and pats me on the back when I slow down.

“You did well,” he says as we push through the door and head back to his room.

“You’ve got this bad habit of eavesdropping, Eric,” I mumble and brush away more tears.

“I had to make sure you didn’t give in, didn’t I? Looked like a touch-and-go there for a minute.”

I throw myself on my bed, face down. I’m exhausted. “You
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were looking, too?”

I hear the snap-and-fissure of Eric opening a can of soda.

“You should take that test. You know Dr. Gale who came to check on you? I always go to him for speedy results. Jesse has proven himself capable of lying just by having you as a secret lover, so he may have lied about having sex with his girlfriend over the holidays. I wouldn’t put it past that girl to be a cheating bitch herself. I mean, she probably did it as soon as Jesse left for college because he wouldn’t touch her – him being closet-gay and all that.”

“He’s not closet-gay,” I muffle into my pillow. “Can we talk about something else?”

“Sure, what do you want to talk about?” Anything. Anything other than Jesse’s alluring scent as he leaned in, the burning sensation of his fingers on my skin, the captivating gaze of his eyes.

Eric’s mattress creaks a little when he sits down. That sound must be really annoying during sex. For a very brief moment I wonder if Eric used to use
my
bed for sex before I moved in, but decide not to linger on the thought.

“I suppose we can discuss that misplaced semicolon of yours in last month’s article. Or studying strategies. I mean, the exams start in one week. I’ve been too lenient with you so far, so I guess I should start cracking the whip.”

“Ugh,” I groan. “Anything but studying, and you’ve already smacked me over the head over that semicolon.” I raise my head and look at Eric. He’s leaning against the wall, shoes-off because he doesn’t want dirt on his bed. The sun lights up his platinum hair and sparkles in his sky-blue eyes. I can definitely see why guys would be attracted to him. He’s very handsome.

Speaking of…

“Let’s talk about Chester for a minute, shall we?” I push my body upwards and make myself comfortable. “I mean, come on,
Chester
? How on earth did that happen?” A Life Without You
181

“Okay, dude, you’re so not telling him that you know it’s him, okay?” Eric puts the can down on his bedside table and plays what sounds like early-day Britney Spears on his stereo.

“I have no reason to,” I say.

Eric sighs. “Okay. Well, word spread quickly that I was gay –”

“I bet you spread most of it yourself.”

“Do drag queens wear heels? Anyhow, Chester kept coming over to talk to me about random things and of course I saw through it after the third time. I invited him in and that was that.”

“Well yeah, but seriously. You keep dogging on me about Jesse and you’re fucking Chester?”

“What? He’s not ugly and his appetite is insatiable,” Eric purrs. “Oh, and it’s Chester fucking me. I’m the bottom, just to get our facts straight.”

“Yeah, but I would have expected someone different for you, you know, like someone with a
brain
.” Eric grimaces. “I don’t know. I’m not exactly looking for a life-partner. Just a college fling which makes Chester perfect. It’s so convenient not to have to go to town for a fuck. But now that there’ll be a gayrority with an official list of guys I might be able to pick someone else for next semester.”

“But seriously, your choice in men is horrendous.” Eric snorts a laugh. “We can’t all be shiny, pretty couples like you and Jesse.”

“Ah, so you finally admit that I’m sexier than you?”

“I’ve never said you weren’t.” Eric smirks and winks. “You’re just not my type or I’d have you on your back already.”

“Thought you said you were a bottom.”

Eric snorts. “There are ways to bottom on top, you know?

Like straddling?”

I place my hands in front of me. “Okay, okay, enough already.”

“Prude.”

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I toss a pillow at him with a soft smile.

“Why did he look like he wanted to bust my chops back there?”

“Noticed that, did you?” Eric stretches his hands over his head. “Well, he refuses to have sex with me while you’re staying here. We can’t do it in his room – Josh, you know – and he doesn’t want you to know he’s gay. And he’s being ridiculously jealous even though he knows I’ve slept with tons of guys. He said that he and I are through, but I can tell he still wants my ass. I don’t know, I guess I like to yank his kite a bit because I know that no matter what I say or do, he’ll always come running back.”

“But not while I’m here, right?” I should probably do Eric a favor and find another place to stay. The problem is that I like it here.

“Well, we did it a few times not long after your breakdown.

There are public bathrooms, thick woods out back, and a tight storage at the end of the hall, but it’s not the same because he’s really nervous when we’re in public – so nervous that this one time he couldn’t even get it up.”

Jesse was nervous about being close to me in public, too, which is why I’m surprised, now that I think about it, how he was able to stand outside and talk to me like that today. He even almost kissed me while anyone could have walked by.

“I may have gone a bit overboard earlier, though,” Eric mumbles and grabs his can of Sprite. “I guess I better go talk to him.”

I barely register it when he leaves.

§ § § §

I can’t believe I let Eric talk me into going to Clash tonight.

He said it was important before the real cramming starts. He’s wearing sparkly clothes while I’m wearing simple blue-jeans, a white t-shirt and a thin black jacket because Boston spring nights tend to be chilly.

Jesse’s pained face flashes through my mind the whole way A Life Without You
183

over to Clash. We met him on our way out when Eric was gushing about Clash, claiming it was the most happening gay club this side of Boston. He told me that all his friends would be there tonight: Terry, Jazz, Cal-Al, Benji, and Rick. Apparently Benji works there part-time bartending and Rick goes there whenever Benji’s working. Terry, Jazz, and Cal-Al just go there to man-hunt.

Jesse quietly watched us pass him and leave. I could tell he wanted to grab my arm and make me stay. I almost stopped at the door to convince him that I wasn’t going there to man-hunt, but it’s like I told him earlier, I have every right to see other men since he chose Chirpy over me. Then why the hell does the mere idea of another man feel so wrong?

Clash is a simple red-brick building that doesn’t look impressive on the outside. There are bouncers in black behind blue rope and a long line of men waiting to get in. Eric sails right past them and is greeted by ‘Stan the Doorman’, giving him a kiss on the cheek as an entry-and-cut-in-line fee. The men waiting in line grumble and complain, but stop when Eric turns to them and blows them a kiss. I see several check him out…and, to my dismay, check
me
out.

The club music was loud outside, but deafening once we get in. We push through a long hallway full of men, some making out, some chatting loudly, some just gazing at us with a predatory gleam in their eyes as we pass. The interior flashes with colors and fluorescents and there are caged men dancing in nothing but white shorts and bulky boots. It’s hard to see who’s who in the dimness, but Eric drags me through the crowd towards one of the bars where I can see little Benji working his tail off serving flirtatious men. Rick doesn’t even lift a brow at their advances. I guess the two of them are secure enough in their relationship for him not to worry.

Rick shakes hands with me when we reach him and pulls Eric into a brotherly hug. Benji ignores the other customers and pours us each a drink on the house with a huge grin on his cute little face. Eric brushes Rick’s thick red hair from his ear and shouts something. Rick pulls back a little and points towards a secluded
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table a few feet away. There I see Cal-Al looking positively radioactive in the fluorescents with a guy chatting over a drink and another guy with a dark, handsome face who I recognize as Terry sitting on the other side. Eric sails us through the half-naked, half-leathered bodies and crawls into Terry’s lap once we reach the table. Cal-Al and his man nod at me as a greeting and Terry barely manages to give me a smile before Eric straddles him and shoves his tongue down his throat. Looks like Eric’s talk with Chester didn’t end well. The two of them start making out and I have no idea what to do with myself. What surprises me a little is that Cal-Al and his guy don’t even flinch at Eric’s and Terry’s kissing and groping.

I don’t feel like sitting down with the two half fucking each other in public, so I turn around and watch the sweaty bodies dance to the thumping music. There are more than several guys watching me, but I fold my arms in front of my chest and try to look as unapproachable as I can. There is only one who isn’t intimidated by my stay-away aura—Jazz. He’s looking extremely sexy tonight in black leather pants and light blue wife beater, topped off with a spiky leather belt hanging on his narrow hips. A thin bracelet dangles from his arm and a turquoise rock, matching his brilliant eyes, hangs from his caramel colored neck.

His brown hair is neatly messed up, hanging into his eyes and past his ears. The way his hips move as he walks to me has my cock stirring.

He grabs my hand and leads me to the dance floor. It’s been weeks and weeks since I’ve had sex and I’m horny as hell just looking at him. I watch his toned arms flex as he pulls me through the crowd and his perky ass shift as he walks. His body’s so much like Jesse’s that for a minute I get a little confused. I’m put right when he turns to face me with a sexy smirk on his lips. He slides his arms over my shoulders and starts snaking his body against mine in a hot dance, his hips grinding, his back swaying. Jesse would never move like this, but when I put my forehead against Jazz’s temple I put that little detail aside and imagine it’s Jesse I’m dancing with. My hand presses into the small of his wriggling, muscled back, my other slides under his wife beater, tracing the A Life Without You
185

muscles that are so familiar to my fingers. My eyes are closed as I find his lips and although his tongue is thinner and more nimble, it’s not
that
different that this couldn’t be Jesse. We kiss, lick, suck, and bite each other. He moans into my mouth like Jesse does. His fingers claw the shirt on my back like Jesse’s fingers do. His firm crotch grinds against mine, his body shudders under my touch, his voice calls my name as I devour his neck, just like Jesse.

“Come with me to the bathroom,” he calls into my ear over the music as he wraps his body around mine, making it clear in all ways that he wants me.

I pull back for a moment and look into the turquoise eyes on his pretty face, which remind me that this
isn’t
Jesse. I trace my fingers along his slender jaw. When I don’t answer he pulls me with him, nimbly walking backwards through the flailing bodies.

I gaze at him the whole way, my mind working overtime as we approach the bathroom. I don’t know if I can fuck him. He’s sexy as hell, but as much as I wish it, he’s not Jesse.

The bathroom is full of guys. It’s clear that there’s stuff going on in some of the six closed stalls. Jazz pulls me into an empty one at the far end and commences kissing, tonguing, and nibbling. He sucks on my lower lip until I get back in the mood and groan, pushing my body against his. His black lashes are so long against his cheek where he kisses my lips with his eyes closed. His natural tanned skin is even and flawless. He doesn’t really look like Jesse when it’s just his face, even though both have slender jaws and dark skin. I pull back a little when Jesse’s pained face flashes through my mind for a second.

Jazz seems to sense my hesitation and plunges for another hot kiss while rustling with the belt on my pants. I push him away gently, ending with a soft, drawn-out kiss.

“I don’t think I can do this,” I whisper as he sits down on the toilet lid and yanks my jeans down.

“Please, just let me suck you,” he says, his voice hoarse with lust.

I look into his pretty eyes and see the same lust reflected there.

186 Erica Pike

The grunting and skin-smacking from the other booths reach me and although it’s grossing me out a little, it’s kind of a turn-on as well. My cock is hard in my boxer briefs and he slides his hand in to free it. With a few deep breaths I close my eyes. I followed him in here without a protest. I can’t just leave him hanging again. But what else does he expect from me?

Jazz pumps my glistening cock a few times before he brings it to his lips. His hot breath covers the tip and makes me gasp in anticipation. It’s been so long. But I’m brought out of it when the guy in the next booth yells out in pain.

“Relax you idiot, I can’t fuck you if you clench,” the guy with him growls.

I yank my cock away from Jazz’s lips and stuff it back into my briefs. My back bumps against the door and I feel like I’m about to hyperventilate. I nearly had sex with another guy. I feel like shit. I feel like a bigger shit when I see the disappointment on Jazz’s face. This is the second time he’s had his hopes up for a chance with me only to be turned down flat.

“I’m so sorry,” I say to him while I yank up my jeans and fumble with the buttons. “I’m so sorry.” Jazz sighs and rests his palms on his knees. “It’s alright, bro.

Still in love, huh?”

“Yeah,” I say and take a few breaths with my eyes closed before I look at him. “It’s a little complicated.”

“Well, let me know if you change your mind, okay? I really,
really
want you, you know?”

“Yeah,” I laugh under my breath. “You’ve made that clear. I swear, if I’d never met Jesse I would have fucked you that first time.”

“Glad to hear it’s not me,” he says and stands up.