Boston Boys [01] - A Life Without You (15 page)

“Adam, did you hear that?”

“Huh?” I look down into Eric’s beaming face. His nose and cheeks are rosy from the cold.

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“We’re going to that new gay club, Clash. Rick and the guys will be here in, like, five minutes to pick us up. You’ll have a blast.

Hey, maybe you can see if Jazz is ready to hook up again.” He grins and winks.

He keeps on chatting for the whole five minutes until a minivan pulls up and a bunch of colorful peacocks whistle and howl through the open windows while Rick gives me a calm wave from the front seat.

Jazz is most visible from the open door, looking all hot in purple, blue and black with his shaggy brown hair and turquoise eyes. We lock gazes for a couple of seconds before I look away.

I hate that I find this guy sexy. I feel like I’m cheating on Jesse just by looking.

“I’m heading back,” I say to Eric, who is already by the car.

“Fine. Go back and sulk. Should I check up on you later?”

“Nah, I’m going to sleep.”

Eric shrugs, waves, and jumps into the car. He joins in with Benji, Jazz, Cal-Al and Terry who are singing their heads off to a Justin Timberlake song as Rick pulls away.

The dorm is dark and cold. We haven’t been able to crank up the heat, so we just spend the nights under blankets in front of the TV whenever I can be bothered to go downstairs. I kind of do it just because I feel sorry for Eric, who complains that he’s so socially starved he’s plunging into depression. I know that’s not true because if I’m not around he just leaves for town to meet up with his friends or chats with Benji on the phone for hours.

I kick off my shoes and peel away my wet clothes. The moon shines through the snow-framed window and the room looks all neat and tidy. I have been working on the next semester’s reading material and finished proofreading all the articles I had saved up.

I even wrote one article on the need to add a better selection of fiction to the library. But I’ve had so much free time that I’ve cleaned the room twice – even Jesse’s side. The clothes he left behind are clean and pressed in his drawers. There’s only one item of clothing that I didn’t wash and that’s the t-shirt I sleep
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with. His scent is fading.

I take a long, long shower. The hot water feels good against my cold skin and I can’t bring myself to turn it off. Maybe I should just shower until I fall asleep, let it wash away all thoughts of Jesse.

I don’t even know how to react when we see each other again.

I think I’ve ruined whatever chance I had with him with my stupid,
stupid
words. But deep down I feel that he deserved it, because he keeps choosing her over me.

God, now that I’ve thought of Jesse again, my dick goes hard and I get flashbacks of our wonderful time in the shower. Was it really only two weeks ago?

With a growl I turn off the water. My body is covered in goose bumps while I dry myself off and put on a pair of black pajama pants and a warm grey t-shirt that I put on the bathroom heater this morning.

I don’t even bother to turn on the lights when I sit down on my bed. The clock on my phone says it’s twenty-eight minutes until midnight. Jesse hasn’t called.

I pull up my knees and push my forehead against them. The cold is starting to creep its way up my bare arms and under my shirt. It makes my nipples harden.

Jesse liked it when I played with his nipple in the shower.

Maybe I should explore that a little more next time. I’m going to discover all of his sensitive spots when we meet again.

If we meet again.

Why hasn’t he called?

I sigh through my nose. “Just get back already, Jesse,” I whisper and feel idiotic for talking to myself. Isn’t that one sign of insanity?

“If you insist,” Jesse replies.

I let out a cold chuckle. That’s great. Now I’m hearing his voice.

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“Adam?” Jesse’s voice says from the window.

I glance up and jump when I see the silhouette of his figure against the framed, moonlit sky. I peer to try to determine if he’s real or not.

“Jesse?” I ask, my voice a mixture of a curiosity and caution.

I stand up and walk to him. It really is him. Or I think it is.

His sandy blonde hair is tousled and his eyes gleam against the moonlight. He’s wearing a tailored black shirt with a stiff collar I have never seen before. Why would I imagine him in such a shirt?

I always imagine him in something I’ve seen him in…or mostly just naked. He looks so good in that shirt. He’s also wearing black slacks but his sexy feet are bare on the carpet.

“Adam,” Jesse repeats. His lips quiver slightly. “Are you okay?

You looked so down just now.”

“It really is you?” I ask, definitely sounding like a madman.

“What are you doing here? I thought you weren’t coming back for another two weeks. Did something happen?” My heart is hammering just at the sight of him and I have a huge lump in my throat. I curl my fingers into fists because I want to grab him, kiss him, push him down and fuck him. But I’m unsure of where I have him since yesterday.

It’s hard to decipher the look on Jesse’s face. His eyebrows are set, his eyes slightly narrowed and his mouth closed. Cautious?

Assessing?

“Nothing happened, I just told my family I had to use the next two weeks to study.”

The wind is picking up outside. Jesse breathes steadily in the otherwise silence.

“You came back to study?” I ask.

Jesse tears his mesmerizing eyes off me and looks out the window. “Well no, not exactly. Weren’t you going somewhere with Eric tonight?”

Eric again. Did he come back because of that?

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“Well?” he pursues when I don’t answer.

“I did go out, but I wasn’t in the mood to party, so I turned back about half way to town.”

A trace of shiver slithers down my spine just by looking at my lover. He looks better than ever in that shirt; he almost always wears sportswear, but Jesse all dressed up is breathtaking. The moonlight casts a blue hue on his face and lights up his hair.

When he turns to find my gaze again, his eyes look electrifying.

I close the little distance between us and take his hand. The touch of his soft skin makes my knees weak. As I lace my fingers through his, my other hand goes around his waist and finally, his expression softens and he looks unguarded.

“Jesse, there’s nothing going on between Eric and me. There never has been. I already have my heart set on someone else and Eric’s so much as said that he’d never go near me that way.” Jesse puts his free hand on my chest and slides it around my neck. A little smile plays on his lips. “Of course he wants you that way. He wouldn’t be gay if he didn’t. He never made a move this whole time?”

“No,” I whisper against his temple. “But if you didn’t come back to study, then why did you? Was Chirpy driving you nuts?” Jesse chuckles softly. “Yes, but that’s not why. I just…” his hold around my neck tightens and he presses his body against mine. “I missed you. So, you see, there’s no way Eric doesn’t find you attractive since you’re able to turn a straight guy half-gay so he’d rather be with you than his girlfriend.” My heart skips a beat. His words send sparks throughout my body so fast that my head reels. Jesse’s body is hot against mine.

Wherever it touches, it burns.

“I can’t turn a straight guy bi, Jesse,” I whisper against his cheek. “You had those tendencies before you met me.”

“Yeah, I know,” he says with a little smile in his voice.

I untangle our laced fingers and pull him closer and then we are locked in a ferocious kiss. Jesse’s hands clutch my shirt and A Life Without You
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I slide mine under his. I touch the muscular small of his back, which makes him shudder and moan. He presses his crotch against my thigh, a provocative move he’s never done before.

“I want you
so
badly,” I whisper against his parted lips. With his arms looped around my neck, he pulls me in for another kiss.

Our tongues meet half way and I feel like I’m floating out of my body, like in a dream. Soon Eric will come knocking on my door to wake me up from the ecstasy of being near Jesse.

I undo the top three buttons on his shirt and pull it over his head. My t-shirt evaporates just as quickly. I walk Jesse to my bed, still locked in each other’s arms, still kissing, licking, sucking, groping. I unbuckle his belt, undo his pants and then he’s standing half naked in front of me. The only item of clothing left on his body are the black silk boxers I gave him. It knocks all air out of my lungs to see him wear them; he never wears underwear, so he put them on just for me.

Jesse watches me take in his body and runs the tips of his fingers along my jaw. I look into his beautiful tawny eyes and sigh out a laugh, which he responds to with a small smile and a cute blush in his cheeks. Then, with a smirk on my lips, I slide my hands over the soft material and release a low growl before I push them down.

“Not fair,” he whispers playfully and yanks down my pants and boxers.

It feels so good to touch his skin. I want to take my time with him, but it’s taking all I’ve got not to ravish him in one bite, so I lay him down on the bed and nudge my body against his. I lick and kiss his neck all the way down to his collarbone. My hand finds his hard cock and I slide the skin up and down as I lick and suck his nipple, simply loving it when he cries out in moans. But it’s not enough for me. I lower myself and kiss his stomach, only to discover a very sensitive spot on the side of it, just above his hip. Jesse trembles every time I kiss there.

But what I’m really after, what I crave for right now is the stiff erection that’s begging to be sucked. Jesse gasps for air when I slide his cock into my mouth with a hungry groan.

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“Adam,” he moans and arches his back.

His precome leaves a sweet and salty taste in my mouth.

“Adam,” Jesse moans again. His hands fumble around in my hair. “Adam, wait.” But I’m not going to wait. I can’t. I’ve been waiting for two weeks and I can’t do it any longer. His body tenses up when I deep throat him. “No,” he says in between his panting. “Wait.”

I stroke his thigh with one hand and keep the other on his back.

He can come. We have all night. We have two weeks until school starts and then we have months before the end of semester. We have all the time in the world for this kind of pleasure.

Jesse weaves his fingers through my hair. A long, low groan vibrates in my throat as he pulls lightly.

“Adam,” Jesse calls out. His back is so arched that he’s almost sitting. Seeing how much he enjoys this has my dick screaming for release. His cock spurts thick liquid into my mouth and I suck and lick his cock clean. Jesse collapses on my bed.

I’m trembling so badly. I want him to touch me. I want him to grab my cock and give me the relieve I’ve been waiting for. I know he’ll do it because he always makes sure I come, too, but I have this twisted pleasure in torturing my body, to make it wait just a little bit longer for the orgasm.

A growl rumbles in my throat against his stomach.

“Adam,” Jesse whimpers in between his panting. “You shouldn’t have done that.”

I raise my head to look at him. His eyes are closed, lips half parted, eyebrows creased. His chest heaves and his heart drums against my palm. He liked it. He loved it. I’ve never seen him so into it before; not even that time in the shower.

I slide my body upwards and kiss all the sensitive spots I’ve discovered around his neck and shoulders. I do it to try to relax my erection a little, but with Jesse panting so close to my ear, it’s not working very well.

“It’s just –” He groans against my temple. His cock is already A Life Without You
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hardening again against my stomach. “Adam?”

“Mmm?” I moan as I press my lips against the skin just under his ear.

Jesse shudders. Another sensitive spot.

“I want to do it,” he whispers.

“Mh.” I suck on his earlobe. “Do what?” Jesse’s voice is low when he speaks. His hands are clamped on my shoulder blades. “I want to go all the way with you. I want to try it.”

I lift my head and gaze into his eyes for a moment. The determination on his face wavers a little. His eyes flicker over my face. There was no mistaking that for anything else than him wanting to fuck me.

“Me too,” I whisper and kiss him on the lips. I’m ready for this. I want this.

His hold on my body tightens. We spend a long time just kissing, diving deeper each time.

“I’m ready,” Jesse whispers against my lips.

I smile. He’s clearly been giving this some thought, which means that he’s envisioned it somehow. “Good,” I whisper. “Do you want me on my back or my stomach?”

“Mm?” Jesse says in our kiss. “No, I mean I want you to do me.”

Jesse alone makes me aroused to the point of eruption, but when he says stuff like that my mind plunges into overdrive. I rest my forehead against his body, right above his beating heart. I have to take a few calming breaths to keep myself from coming right there. I think about the pain that follows penetration and this seems to help. He doesn’t know what he’s asking. No matter if he’ll be able to get used to it, the first time almost always hurts.

“It’s probably better if you do me,” I say.

Jesse’s breathing has calmed a little. “But you find it painful.”

“That doesn’t mean I won’t let you do it. I want you to do it.

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I’ve been thinking about this, too.” I stifle Jesse’s protests with my mouth and roll him on top of me. Jesse moans in protest against my lips when I spread my legs.

He breaks free. “Ungh. No. I—What you did to me in the shower… I really liked that. It wasn’t painful at all.” I chuckle. “Jesse, there’s a big difference between a finger and a fully erect cock.”

“Yeah, I know that, especially since yours is very…” – his voice trails a little as he looks at my hard cock. For a moment I think he’s going to give in, but he gives his head a light shake. “It’s just that I haven’t been able to think about anything else since then...and truthfully, I’ve been thinking about this for weeks…” God, he’s trying to make me come with words, and it’s almost working. The pressure in my balls is so intense that thin threads of pleasure are swirling at the base of my cock. But I can’t come just yet, I have to hold it in a little longer.