Borrowing Trouble (12 page)

It was too soon to know now, right? A couple months friendship had morphed into an unexpected affair with a man for the first time. Even if he realized he obviously had feelings like that for another man, didn’t mean he was strictly dickly all of a sudden.

Speaking of.

He went downstairs and found Bethany sitting on the sofa, going through her cell phone. She looked up at his entrance. “Hey, you. Sorry I ended up here so late. I can probably go to my folks’ house.” She tensed, probably expecting another rude comment like the one that’d slipped out of his mouth when she’d been making herself comfortable in his house earlier.

Not for the first time, he realized, the part of his life that included Bethany as a day-to-day part of his life—aside from as the mother of his children—appeared to well and truly have started feeling like a chapter almost closed. Maybe her being here, helping him come to that realization, hadn’t been a bad thing. He did have a flicker of sadness at the thought, but really, he knew what being happy felt like. And what they had, had never truly been that.

“No. You can crash in the guest room if you like.”

Her shoulders dropped a fraction, relieved and not disappointed, he hoped. “Thanks, Jay. I finished the dishes.”

“Thanks, Beths.” He smiled and walked around to take a seat on the sofa beside her. “How are you doing?”

“I’m well. A lot going on right now with work and such.” She eyed him. “You seem to be doing well. You seem different.” He tried his best to keep from tensing. Was he really that transparent? Or had he been more miserable than he’d known?

“I’m good. Work’s going well.” He tried for a neutral subject. Bethany looked out the corner of her eye and he knew he wasn’t getting off that easily.

“Are you seeing anybody?”

What the hell? Why was everyone so suspicious all of a sudden? Of course, he could just be feeling the pressure of being secretive for the first real time in his life. He didn’t like it one bit.

He also didn’t like lying. Especially to Bethany. Even if their relationship hadn’t been the best for them, he still cared for her. She’d been his friend for such a very long time.

“It’s complicated,” he answered. Her eyes snapped to his, but a smile crossed her face.

“That’s really good. Not the complicated. But that you’re seeing someone. If she can get you smiling like that, I should shake her hand.”

Jay grunted, a little surprised at her being so supportive. He wasn’t so egotistical as to think she still had thoughts of reconciling. Hell, they’d shared dating horror stories enough over the last couple years since their official separation. She’d even seen someone fairly seriously for a couple months.

“What about you?”

She shook her head. “Not so much. But, I’m thinking of making a move soon, so I haven’t really been looking. I want to talk to you about it, what it’ll mean for the kids, but I want to get my ducks in a row first.”

Jay frowned thoughtfully. “Oh-kay,” he drawled.

“I should know more come thanksgiving.”

“Well, that’s only three weeks from now. I suppose the suspense won’t kill me,” Jay teased. She cast him an unfathomable look, then shook her head and smiled fondly. 

              She patted his knee. “I’m going to head up to bed. I’ll do breakfast in the morning so you can sleep in, then I’ll head out and go see my parents before I head back to Atlanta.”

              “Sleep good, Beths,” he said as she stood to leave.

              “You too, Jay. And really. Whatever you’re doing, keep doing it. I hate...” She paused, closing her eyes, and sighed. “No would’ve, should’ve, could’ves. Just glad you’re happy.”

              “Are you?” he asked.

              “I think so,” she answered.

              And as she walked up the stairs, watching her back, he realized the chapter closed right then. He didn’t know what that meant for the next chapter any more than it had before, but this one was well and surely written, crossed, dotted, and the page had turned.

              He wasn’t surprised at all that his first thought was to call Landon and tell him this development. But to be fair to Landon, himself, and his kids—hell, even to Beths—he had to find the first words for that next chapter, or at least stop holding himself back. So, instead, he surprised himself and called the messenger service to make an appointment with the counselor. If it was time to really be New Jay, or at least the Real Jay, he’d have to do some things that may be a little uncomfortable to Old Jay.

Chapter 16

              Landon bounded into the office at the saw mill, a pep in his step. The day had qualified as one of his longest in a while, and his body teetered on the edge of exhaustion. He couldn’t give in, excited energy propelled him on. Ms. Lynne, thankfully, had already headed out for the night, since he was coming in later than usual. He signed his mileage log and dropped it in the bin with the rest.

              On his way in from his one and only haul for the day, his phone had trilled with two calls he’d been waiting for. He hadn’t expected one so soon, and hoped for the other for days. First, the reason he’d taken the morning off, a job proposal from a friend; second, he’d heard from Jay, privately, for the first time in the three days since he’d left Jay’s house upon his kids’ return.

He felt relief his dad also appeared to have gone for the evening. The only office still occupied was Jay’s. Landon knew he probably wagged from head to toe like a dog, but he hadn’t even managed to run into the man for more than five minutes in the office.

Jay looked up, beaming when he noticed Landon. Landon’s heart gave a pitter patter and he felt entirely too happy to bother with doubts or worries. The man was as obviously happy to see him, so he’d take it.

“Hey,” Jay said with a grin, standing up from his chair and coming around the other side of the desk. He paused to look behind Landon, who grabbed him and gave assurances they were alone. Jay reached behind him and slammed the door before their mouths came together. They didn’t kiss for long, but they definitely made it count, hot and hard.

“Dang, I missed this,” Jay said. Landon’s surprise at the statement didn’t have time to show before they were kissing again, tongues sliding into each other’s mouths. They grappled for one another, clinging almost. Landon’s cock grew instantly hard and ready.

Which is why he had to step back. “Well, we definitely can’t do this here,” Landon said, gasping.

“I know. I know.” Jay stepped back himself, straightening his flannel button-down. Landon let himself reach out to straighten Jay’s mussed hair where Landon had run his fingers through it. They smiled dopily at one another. “My kids are at their grandparents for church and dinner tonight.”

Landon felt his brow furrow. By Jay’s own admission, they’d not raised the kids in the church. Jay waved him off. “Some family fellowship thing. Beverly pulled some guilt card when Bethany was home, so the kids agreed to go with them for this shindig. There’s a hayride or something.”

“Wholesome,” Landon teased. Hayrides were a pretty standard fall activity, mostly by local churches during the Halloween season to keep kids from giving in to the wickedness of playing on the Devil’s Holiday.

“I have to see you,” Jay said, his voice husky and hopeful. Landon would sure take this over the self-recriminations he’d been waiting Jay to start with once his kids came home.

Landon didn’t let Jay dwell. “Mine or yours?”

“Yours, okay?”

“Hell, yes. Mine’s closer.” Landon winked. Also, he wouldn’t be watching over his shoulder for the kids to come home early, like last time.

“Meet you there?”

“Absolutely. Let me go get hitched to the trailer for the morning. See you in thirty?”

Jay nodded and quickly went back to whatever work he’d been focused on when Landon came in. Landon’s hard-on only wavered when he worked on connecting brake lights and locking the trailer in. The drive home, though, the final spurt of adrenaline from his good afternoon and thoughts of Jay coming over to be in his bed had Landon’s pants tented even as he unlocked his front door.

He made quick work of a shower, resisting the urge to stroke himself other than to build his need. He’d barely made it down the stairs in just a pair of old sweatpants when Jay knocked on the front door. Landon practically yanked the man in. Their mouths collided. Jay grunted and laughed into the kiss.

“You taste so good,” Landon said, then licked into Jay’s mouth again. His hand slid to Jay’s straining, denim encased erection. Jay hissed and slid his arms around Landon’s waist, dipping into the sweats to palm Landon’s ass.

Landon pulled Jay further into the house where they collapsed on the couch. “We should talk,” Jay said.

Landon pulled back. “Now?”

Jay laughed, and the sound sent thrills of joy through Landon. “I suppose it can wait.”

Landon’s head fell back as Jay dropped to the floor and yanked off Landon’s pants, sucking him in. “Motherfucker,” Landon yelped. Eager, horny Jay was a force to be reckoned with. Landon didn’t know what had come over the man, but he sure wouldn’t complain.

Jay sucked Landon inexpertly, but enthusiastically. Landon bucked up into his mouth as Jay fondled his balls and hummed. “Damn, Jay. I’m… I’m so fucking close.” And wasn’t that the damnedest thing. The man got him going like nobody else. Jay looked up through his lashes, full of mischief, then started using his free hand to stroke as he sucked. Landon’s incoherent babbling as he shot into Jay’s mouth would have been embarrassing were he capable of any kind of thought.

Jay suddenly was in Landon’s face, kissing him, letting Landon taste himself on Jay’s tongue. God, the taste of his cum in Jay’s mouth nearly got him hard again. The clanking of metal as Jay undid his belt and undid his fly pulled Landon from his stupor. They both laughed as Jay slipped clumsily, while they pushed his jeans down to free his cock and balls.

Landon grasped Jay’s cock and didn’t even have time to offer a blowjob before Jay howled, dropped his forehead to Landon’s, and was spurting over Landon’s bare cock and legs.

Their mouths met again, tongues tangling lazily and sweetly as their labored breathing began to settle.

“Fuck me, Landon.”

“Apparently, we didn’t make that consideration.”

Jay put his cheek to Landon’s and they lay catching their breath. “That was wild,” Jay said. “I swear you make me cum like a damn kid. I can’t even last five minutes with you.” Jay sounded mildly embarrassed by the fact.

“Fucking-A, Jay. That’s the best compliment ever. And in case you didn’t notice, I’m not a whole lot better off.”

Jay rolled off Landon with a contented sigh, tucking himself away before sitting down on the floor, leaning his back against the couch. Landon put himself to rights as well and swung his legs over the side of the couch, then went to grab each of them a water. Jay took his, casting a lazy grin Landon’s way.

“So, how are you?”

“Now he wants to talk, when I can’t breathe,” Jay said in his most put-upon tone.

Landon playfully nudged the back of Jay’s head with his elbow.

When Jay turned a look full of affection and warmth on Landon, he really had to contain himself. “I’m good. Real good.”

“What does that mean?” Landon asked.

“Just that I’m good.” Jay drank from his water before clearing his throat and turning bashfully away. “I, um, went to see that counselor we used. In Starkville. It’s been helpful. We talked on the phone earlier today before I called you, too.”

Well, the man was just full of surprises. “I’m glad you say it’s helpful.”

Jay turned toward Landon. “I just wanted to say thank you, because you’ve been really patient with me.”

“Oh.” Landon gave Jay a kiss on the temple, feeling a little silly, but happy Jay only ducked his head and hid a shy grin at the action. “Of course, Jay. This was never meant to be any pressure. It could be two guys who are convenient in this one horse town. Or whatever.”
Liar
.

Jay fell silent, like he didn’t know what to say to that any more than Landon.
Too soon. Don’t push.
Landon told himself. Hell, he hadn’t even told Mitch about their little affair, because he didn’t need anyone else to tell him how badly this could all turn out. But surely, Jay was coming out of his shell and making strides. Landon could give it a little more time.

“Jay, this isn’t something you have to prove to me. You just get right with you, okay. Figure out what to do for
you
for once, something you can live with for
you
and for your kids. Don’t think about me, or about Bethany, or what folks will think. It’s hard, being raised around here. But this is big.” Landon ran his fingers through Jay’s hair, lightly massaging his scalp, enjoying how Jay leaned into the touch.

“You’re too good to me, Landon.”

“I know,” he said. Jay reached up and gave him a gentle shove. They fell silent again. The afterglow was too nice, and the companionable moment was just that. There was no recrimination, and Landon meant it fully when he meant he was Jay’s friend here, as well as his lover. Even if his heart was in it deeper than he’d intended, Jay hadn’t asked any more than Landon could give, hadn’t played games with him. The mutual respect he felt, made all the difference to Landon. If they went their separate ways, or just ended up friends, he’d be very sad, but wouldn’t be bitter. Jay was no user, not telling Landon pretty words like some selfish prick.

Jay started randomly humming a song as Landon rubbed his scalp. It was amazing how quickly the sound of the man’s gentle, deep voice quieted Landon’s thoughts. The long day caught up with Landon, the calm of the moment settling in his bones, and with a smile, he drifted off to sleep on his couch.