Bleeding Heart (8 page)

Scattered along the fringe of the stone patio floor were tables covered in a soft pink silk cloth with adorable, elegant white wooden chairs. Wrapped in a cascading tie around the back of the chair was white tool. Crystal vases had been centered on the table and lush bouquets of pink and white peonies had been artfully positioned.

Off to the side, I saw the altar, the seating, and the aisle. My heart sped as I took in the sight of the place where I would undoubtedly give myself to Calix. In a garden of abundant green, chairs that matched those around the tables had been positioned to face an altar of incomparable beauty. Pink and white peonies had been woven along the branch-like arch Calix would stand beneath, waiting for me. And over the aisle I would walk, hundreds of pink and white petals had been tossed over the green of the grass.

Standing here over the balcony, with every breath I took, I could smell the sweet freshness of the flowers below. There was no doubt in my mind that Calix had spent thousands upon thousands of dollars to create the magic in the garden below. It truly would be a dream wedding - but with no family to share the day with, if felt more like a burden.

Calix chose that moment to place his hands on the railing on either side of my body, caging me in his arms. He dipped his head to the side of mine and asked low, “Do you like it, love?”

“I,” I paused hesitantly. “It’s beautiful, Calix.”

He pulled in a breath, sensing my distress. “But?”

I turned in his arms, finding his body extremely close to mine. “But I wish my family could be here.” I looked up into his blue eyes that were fastened on my face in study. “I wish Amy could see the magic, the transformation,” I closed my eyes slowly before opening them. “She would fall in love with this, with you - to see this. And Jaylah, oh,” I covered my lips with a shaky hand. “She would be so romanticized. I swear to you she wouldn’t stop dancing, dreaming about a prince sweeping her off her feet beneath the twinkling lights shining alongside the stars. And my mom - she would cry. She would be so happy that one of her babies had found a man who wanted, and could, give something like this to her.”

A tear slid from the corner of my eye and Calix wiped it away with the pad of his thumb before catching the back of my neck in his palm. His voice was gruff. “But if they were here, if you had your family, would you still be so willing to go through with this day, love?”

“Yes.” There was no hesitation, regret, uncertainty or deceit in my reply. It was the honest truth - and it surprised me.

I wasn’t the only one who was surprised.

Calix hissed in a sharp breath as he stared down at me, and then his mouth was on mine. And my hands were around the back of his neck, in his hair, over his strong shoulders. His body was against mine. My back pressed into the railing as he kissed me, sliding his tongue between my lips - tasting me. There was so much heat in this kiss I felt it in my toes. Calix hadn’t kissed me with such abandon since the night on the dock. And I didn’t know it until now, but I missed it. I missed feeling his lips on mine. I missed feeling him against me. I just missed him. Despite all the discomfort he’d pushed me to accept, he’d given me so much more comfort than I ever could have expected. In Calix, I had something I didn’t understand, but I knew I needed. So, even if my family were here, I’d still marry him. Despite all he’d taken from me and all he’d done to me, I’d still marry him.

It was in that moment, I realized I was gone. The Nova I’d always known was gone - replaced by a woman head over heels in love with a dark, hauntingly beautiful man.

Calix pulled back then on a strangled growl and I moaned, “Please.” Pressing myself into him, I begged. “I need this now, Calix. Give me this - this illusion that I’m really yours and that this is beautiful and right.”

His arms tightened around me at my words and he spoke against my throat. “This is real love.” He vowed. “And. You. Are. Mine.”

I nodded, and he caught my mouth once again with his.

“Yes,” My word was a plea, a vow, and an acceptance of all that he was and all that we were. And I knew, that no matter what this future held for me, Calix and I were in some twisted way fated for this life, this path, and this moment. I knew, because in all that this moment was, it was beautiful and right. In all its darkness, it was light.

Chapter 7

After our kiss, Calix poured me a cup of coffee from the carafe before asking me if I’d prefer pancakes or blueberries for breakfast. Although I was feeling much better about the day ahead, I wasn’t entirely rid of the wedding jitters fluttering through my belly. I was in no part wanting to fill my fluttery belly with something so heavy as pancakes.

Knowing Calix would force something down my throat, I bypassed the argument and ate a bowl of blueberries and milk sweetened with a small spoon of brown sugar.

Finishing my breakfast, I settled back into the chair with my cup of coffee between my hands when I noticed Calix watching me intensely. Smiling, I cocked my head. “What?”

The muscle in his cheek twitched the way it sometimes did and I wondered what, if anything, was bothering him. “Did you mean it?”

“Mean what?” I asked.

“When you said you’d marry me today, either way. Were you being honest?”

I nodded, whispering, “Yes.”

“Why?”

He just had to ask a question I didn’t have an answer for. “I don’t know.”

“Try to explain.”

Looking down into my coffee, I sighed. “Despite everything you’ve done to me and taken from me, you’ve also given more to me than you’re aware.” I looked up to find his face was pale and his lips were parted. I shrugged. “I find comfort in you, Calix. I - I don’t know what else to say.”

For a long moment, he was silent. And then he spoke. “Would you like to see your wedding dress?”

My heart hitched. “I would.”

Calix stood and my heart raced in anticipation. His hand closed around mine, tugging me through the bedroom and into the closet. On the back wall of the massive closet, there was a white dress hanging. It was stunning and so not something I ever would have thought to even try on. The dress was a classic kind of chic with long sleeves of elegant sheer lace and a bodice of matching lace over soft solid white chiffon. The breast was a modest sweetheart cut and the lace of the bodice ended in angled dagger-like edges into the flowing chiffon of the skirt. It was stunning.

Forgetting to breathe, I asked without breath. “Did you choose this?”

“I did.” Calix confirmed. “Do you like it?”

“Yes.” But I didn’t release his hand or move closer to the dress. “It’s beautiful.”

“The back is my favorite.”

My eyes swung to his. “Why?”

Calix chuckled as he released my hand to move toward the dress, flipping it against the wall.

My breath caught.

The back of the dress - well, there was no back. The same lace as the sleeves ran along the side of the dress, dipping low before connecting in the place where the base of the small of my back would rest. It would completely leave my back exposed.

I loved the dress, but had I chosen for myself, I would have chosen a dress that was slightly more conservative. I had a sneaking suspicion Calix knew this.

Calix spoke into the silence. “I want to be able to touch your skin all day and all night long, love.” He glanced back at the dress. “This way I can.”

“Oh,” I replied in a small voice.

Calix frowned. “You don’t like it?”

“I do,” I paused. “But I’ve never really worn anything like it.”

“I know.” He said matter of fact. “But you’ll wear it for me today, love.”

Slowly, I nodded. “I will.”

The cobalt of his eyes turned dark as a bang sounded on the door of his bedroom and a female voice rang out. “Calix McKnight, you open this door right now!”

I frowned, stunned. “Is that Gabriella?”

Calix growled. “Yes.”

I watched him prowl from the room before shaking off the stunned sensation creeping through my body, to follow him. I saw Calix open the door of his bedroom and then I saw Gabriella sweep into the room in a soft purple gown. It really was lovely, and she looked lovely, but she also looked stern enough to make me wonder why she was here.

“We have two hours before Nova is expected to walk down the aisle, Calix. I’ve been waiting all morning to get my hands on her.” She plopped her fists onto her hips. “Now, get out.”

Calix raised a brow. “I was just showing her the dress. I can help her into it.”

Gabriella raised a brow right back at him. “You will not be helping her into that gown, Calix McKnight.”

“And why is that?”

I squeaked. “It’s bad luck.”

Calix swung his head to pin me with his eyes. “You believe in that crap?”

“I do.” I nodded. “It’s bad enough that you’ve seen the dress before the wedding day, but it would be twice as bad if you saw me in the dress - before the wedding.”

He rolled his eyes. “It’s myth.”

“It’s tradition!” Gabriella snapped, pointing to the door. “Out.”

Calix grinned. Shaking his head, he walked determinedly across the room to me. Looping his arm around my waist, he pulled me against his chest before dipping his head to whisper-growl in my ear. “Don’t encourage her, love.”

I giggled at the play in his tone and he kissed the tip of my nose.

Gabriella sighed heavily, audibly. “Calix. Out.”

“I’m going, grandma.” Calix huffed.

“Don’t you sigh at me, Calix!”

Calix disappeared into the closet only to reappear with a black leather bag. Obviously, he’d been expecting Gabriella to kick him out of his room this morning, as he was so readily prepared. “I’ll see you at the altar, love.” Calix smiled gently and I nodded, feeling uncertain and determined at the very same time.

“Kay,”

He stiffened. “You good?”

I could see in his eyes that if he thought I wasn’t good, he’d kick bad luck to the curb before kicking Gabriella out of his room. I didn’t want that. I might not be good, and without Calix next to me, I might start thinking of reasons why I shouldn’t marry him, but I also didn’t want to ruin any part of this day. The wedding would happen and although I wished I could have my family present, I had no desire not to make this day as perfect as it could be.

Slowly, I smiled and nodded. “I’m good.”

He released a breath I hadn’t even noticed he’d been holding. “Are you sure?”

“Calix!” Gabriella appeared beside me. “She’s fine. She’ll see you in under two hours. Get out.”

Calix didn’t remove his eyes from my face, so I said again. “I’m fine, Calix. Really.”

He nodded, moving from the room. And I instantly wished he were here with me again.

***

Gabriella ushered me into the bathroom, combing through my long hair. For a woman who I assumed had stylists at her beck and call, she really was very talented with hair, and I would later find out, makeup.

“How did you do this?” I marveled in the mirror at the elegant up-do she’d twisted my hair into after curling every strand to perfection. I was wearing my hair in a low bun, and although I rarely wore my hair up, I actually really liked it. Curls framed my face gently and a little pearled hairpiece had been placed above the bun where the veil would sit.

“I’ve always loved working with my hands. Beauty has always been an interest of mine.” She beamed at me in the mirror. “You’re a beautiful woman, sweetheart.”

I blushed. “Thank you.”

“You will make a beautiful bride for my grandson.”

My eyes dropped to the floor and my nervous fingers began knotting in my lap. “Um, it’s not,”

“Nova, dear,” She shook her head. “I know what Calix did to you was wrong. I know it is wrong, but I also see the way he looks at you.” Her eyes were pinned on me. I could feel them. “For him, this wedding is real.”

“I know.” I breathed. “I just, I’m so confused.”

Smiling softly, Gabriella placed a hand on my shoulder. “Sweetheart,” she sighed. “You’re falling in love with him.”

Dropping my face into my hands, I moaned. “This is so wrong.”

“No,” she pulled my hands from my face. “Love works in mysterious ways, there’s no way you don’t already know that. And don’t you mess up all my work!” She added the last part of a huff. “Let’s get you into that dress now, or we’re going to be late.” She chuckled to herself. “I can only imagine what that boy would do.”

“He’d lose his mind.” I replied quietly - more to myself than to her.

“Oh darling,” she laughed. “When it comes to you, that boy doesn’t even have a mind.”

“Um,”

She raised a brow. “You haven’t noticed?”

“I,”

“You’ll come to see soon enough that he can deny you nothing.”

“That’s not true.”

She spun around and she was no longer smiling. “Nova, Calix will give you anything you ask for. Anything you desire, within his power to provide you, he’ll see to it you possess. If you don’t believe me, test him.”

“I have.”

“Then the thing you are asking for is not within his power to provide. I can assure you that whatever it is he cannot give to you, is killing him.”

“But,”

“Come now.” She ushered me toward the dress with a hand firmly against the small of my back. “Let’s get you dressed.”

I watched as Gabriella plucked the gown from the hanger, marveling over this woman’s cheery attitude. I didn’t know how she could be so happy and supportive of a union she knew wasn’t entirely right.

I was marrying a man I barely knew. I didn’t know his age and I didn’t know his middle name. I didn’t really even know what he did for a living. I didn’t know a thing about him. But Gabriella was right about one thing - I was falling in love with Calix. And maybe it didn’t even matter how old he was, or what his middle name was, or even what he did for a living. If you loved someone, and truly loved them - then the little details didn’t matter, right?

“Gabriella?” I questioned softly.

Her brows pulled together as she snapped her head up. “I’ve told you repeatedly to call me Gabby or Grandma.”

“Gabby,” I breathed.

“What is it darling?”

“How old is Calix?”