Bleeding Heart (9 page)

Her eyes widened. “He’s nearing twenty-nine.”

Oh - he’s a bit older than me.
Like, an entire seven years older than me.
Was it normal for women to marry men who were seven years older than them? Did age really even matter.

“What is his middle name?” I asked quietly and Gabriella’s lips pursed tightly.

“His full name is Calix Keaton McKnight.”

“Keaton,” I whispered. “That’s nice.”

Her eyes turned sad. “Yes,” she touched her fingertips to her lips. “Keaton was his father’s name.”

“Oh,” my heart stuttered. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, Nova.”

My eyes misted. “It is my father’s fault.”

She sighed. “Children pay for their parent’s sins. It’s sad but true.” She shook her head. “But there ain’t a damn thing you can do about it, so there certainly is no use in crying, now, is there?”

“I,” I stuttered. “I suppose not.”

“Come over here and get into this dress.” She glanced down at the material in her hands. “You’re going to be a beautiful bride.”

***

My heart was pounding as I stood with Gabriella behind the patio doors. Through the swaying curtains, I could see Calix standing still at the altar. His eyes were on the door, but I knew he couldn’t see me. His expression was one of astounding confidence, but I had a feeling it was more a mask than anything else. This man, the man I was marrying - my captor - was a man of many masks. I had a feeling, however, that I was finding a way to see past the show he so often put on for those around him. And I knew now, as he waited for me to appear, that he was nervous.

I was surprised to find myself aching to calm his every worry.

“Are you ready?” Gabriella asked gently.

Music played a soft melody in the background and the sun was high in the sky. It was beautiful. Today would be a beautiful day. And I vowed, standing here watching the man I was moments away from giving my life to, that I would be happy today. Today, I would put aside all the pains of the past couple weeks and I would just smile, laugh and lose myself in a beautiful man’s arms.

Yes, I was ready.

I smiled softly. “I’m ready.”

She leaned in to kiss my cheek, handing me the stunning bouquet of gentle pink and white peonies. “I’ll find my seat and then the music will change and you can start walking to him, okay?” She squeezed my hand with hers and I nodded, feeling my throat tighten with emotions I didn’t understand.

I felt afraid, nervous, anxious and worried - and I wanted nothing more than to find myself in Calix’s arms where I was certain I would find a safe calm.

Gabriella walked away and I leaned into the wall, suddenly afraid my knees wouldn’t hold me upright a moment longer. Pulling in measured breaths, I tried to count out loud to calm myself when I heard the music change. It was time.

Oh my - it was
time
. Straightening from the wall, I fanned my face desperately, trying to rid myself of my anxiety without success. Finally, I shoved my face into my bouquet and breathed in the sweet, calming scent of the peonies. They were a comfort that reminded me of home - of my mom and her arms around me - and now, of Calix and the future I had with this man. Just like he’d taken my love of macaroons and used them to win my affections, he’d used peonies.

The scent of the flowers calmed me in a way I knew would aid in holding my frail heart together until I was standing in Calix’s presence, hopefully with his arms around me - his lips on mine. I needed to feel his strength, because today, right now, I simply didn’t possess even an ounce. I’d used my quota to get myself here - to this moment.

Taking a step forward, I felt my feet carry me through the white curtains and toward Calix. My eyes locked with his blues and I saw something in the deeps of his eyes that I knew I would never forget. If I lived to a hundred and ninety, I knew that I would forever carry with me the image of him now. He was handsome, his ebony hair was tousled and his suit was a deep, rich black that made him look both dangerous and enticing.

As I moved through the aisle, my eyes didn’t once stray from Calix. In his eyes, I found the courage to move forward. Locked in his gaze, I saw hope and relief and - although I didn’t understand it, I could have sworn I saw forgiveness.

Chapter 8

I’d never lived a night more elegant than this night. From the moment we’d said our, I do’s, the champagne had flowed. People laughed, danced, snapped photos that had long since stopped making me nervous, while engaging both Calix and I in flighty conversation. No one had asked the dreaded questions about my family - it was almost as though the people in attendance knew not to step on Calix’s toes.

The way the guests acted in Calix’s presence told volumes about the level of respect he had gained in the world of business. No one dared to question him and no one dared to question him about me. Instead, everyone prompted the conversation towards congratulating us, inquiring about our honeymoon, to which Calix shook his head with laughing eyes and replied. “The location of our honeymoon is still a surprise to Nova.”

The wives of the men invited oohed and awed over the elegance of the décor, the richness of the food, and the price of the champagne served. Apparently, everything had been done without sparing an expense. I assured, when I received a compliment, that I had done nothing for this day. Gabriella had put all her time and attention into making this day the dream that it was, and she deserved the credit.

The sky had turned dark an hour ago and Calix was spinning me in his arms beneath the twinkling net of lights. In his arms was exactly where I had been since I’d vowed to be his in sickness and in health, in rich or for poor. My chest was pressed tight against his as his hand drifted over the exposed flesh of my back. I shivered.

He dipped his head low, speaking in deep tones into my ear. “Seeing you walk toward me today, in this dress, knowing I’d be able to put my hands on you, dance with you, and kiss you all night, took my breath away, love.”

Oh, if he kept talking to me like this...

I tried to hide my smile in his chest, but he caught my chin, tipping my head back. His eyes honed in on my lips and I knew he saw it. When he smiled, my heart fluttered.

He spoke again. “So beautiful. So mine.”

His words hit me hard. Before, I hadn’t really been his - but now - now I was his completely. I was his wife. I was his to cherish, to protect, to provide for, and to love until death do us part. Would he do all that was required of him in this union?

When I spoke, my voice was so soft and quiet. I knew he’d hardly heard my reply. “Yes, Calix. I’m yours.”

He tightened his arm around my waist, pressing his hand flat against the small of my back. His other was still holding my chin, only now the pad of his thumb was moving slowly over my bottom lip. “I’m a lucky man.”

My heart was racing, pounding against the cage of my heart so hard, I wondered if he felt it against his chest. “Calix,”

“Love,” his voice was hoarse, and then he dipped his head and pressed his lips against mine. Throughout the night, Calix had kissed me, held me, danced with me and spoken such soft words to me, that I felt almost drunk off him. It could be the ever-constant supply of champagne I’d been sipping on throughout the night, however, that made me feel all warm and fuzzy. But I was almost certain it was Calix.

There was just something about the man - something my body responded to - my entity understood and my soul craved. I didn’t know what it was, but I had never - not a moment in my life, been happier than I was in this moment - in Calix’s arms.

His lips on mine weren’t filled with a need that urged the kiss to push deep, instead, there was a gentle slowness that I treasured. It took no thought or encouragement for me to open my mouth to his tongues exploration, and it wasn’t long before I felt my own tongue pressing against his, tasting him, feeling him, and breathing him.

I could have kissed him all night, losing myself in him, but we were interrupted when Neil tapped Calix on the shoulder. A low sound came from deep within Calix as he pulled back to look at Neil.

“It’s time for you to get ready to leave, sir.”

Calix nodded, the haze in his blue eyes clearing. “Thank you, Neil.” Calix moved his hand to mine, linking his fingers through mine and I felt my heart lurch. We were ready to say our goodbyes.

I allowed Calix to guide me through the mass of people who were still moving over the dance floor and drinking champagne, to Gabriella who watched us through eyes that were a warm blue, like Calix’s had been most of today. She opened her arms to me and I found myself wrapped tight. “You have fun, sweet girl.” She spoke into my shoulder.

“Thank you for everything today, Gabri - Gabby.”

She beamed. “You both have a lovely time.” Her eyes glittered as they found Calix. “And stay safe.”

“We’ll be fine, grandma.” Calix assured, settling his hand on the bare flesh of my back. “We will see you in one month.”

My eyes popped open wide. “A month?”

Gabriella smiled. “It’s a honeymoon, dear.”

Calix only chuckled as I sputtered, wondering how long one needed their honeymoon to be. “Come, Nova. If we don’t hurry we’ll be late.”

“Oh,” I mumbled, waving to Gabriella as Calix guided me firmly away. Once we’d walked through the open door of the patio, and Calix had led me through the halls to his bedroom, I asked. “Are we really going away for an entire month?”

“Yes.”

“But,”

“Love,” Calix warned in low tones. “We’re going for a month, and you will enjoy yourself.” He added at my disbelieving look. “I promise.”

“Alright,” I said slowly, folding my arms over my chest. I didn’t know what to do now. I knew there was no way I would be getting myself out of this dress - but I also knew I had to change. I couldn’t exactly board a flight in a wedding dress, not to mention the fact that if I did, the flight would be punishingly painful.

I shifted on the balls of my feet before kicking off my heels. Oh, that felt so
good
. I moaned and Calix’s eyes widened as a cocky grin quirked the corner of his lips.

“Feet hurt?” He asked huskily.

“Oh,” I nodded. “You have no idea.”

He smiled. “Come here, Nova.” My heart raced as I closed the space between us. His eyes roamed over my body and he sighed. “I should have allowed more time between leaving the party and having to leave the house. I could stare at you in this dress forever.”

I blushed. “I like the dress, but I’d really like to get out of it now.”

“You would?” He raised a brow.

I nodded. “Yes.”

“Turn around.”

I did as he commanded, feeling his hands move over the smooth skin of my back. His knuckles trailed down the length of my spine, before he leaned in to kiss the back of my neck. My breath caught and I held my body tight against the heat that poured through my bloodstream.

His breathy words affected me - making my skin tingle. “You’re so beautiful.” I felt his hands at the base of my dress, pulling open the delicate buttons over my rear, exposing more of me to him. With the dress open, I felt Calix’s hands move to my shoulders where they dipped beneath the lace of my arms, to remove the dress from my body entirely. When the white material pooled on the floor, I stepped from the dress wearing only my white lace panties.

Turning around to face him, I saw his eyes were hot. I had never in my life felt so beautiful. Every time I had this thought, Calix somehow worked to best it. And he never failed. The way his eyes roamed over me so warmly, with a desire so thick I felt it in the air, was fantastical.

“I want to touch you.” He said gruffly as he shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his pants. This confused me. If he wanted to touch me, why wasn’t he touching me?

“Why,” I stuttered, blushing hotly as I tried to control the nervous sounds of my breathing. “Why aren’t you?”

His eyes flashed. “If I touch you now, I won’t be able to stop myself from taking you, Nova. And I don’t want to take you yet.”

“Oh,” My voice was small.

“When I take you,” He stepped closer to me and my breathing came in so hard and fast, I was practically panting. “I want to take you slow. I want to have all night, not the lesser half of an hour.”

Again, I said. “Oh.”

The corner of his lip lifted and I noted the absence of reprimand for my reply. “Go change, love.”

“What should I wear?”

“Whatever you want.” His eyes on my face were warm.

“But,”

“Love,” Calix stopped me. “We have nearly twenty-four hours of traveling ahead of us.” I felt my eyes grow unbearably wide. “Wear something you’re comfortable in.”

“Kay,” I squeaked.

Then, I turned on shaking knees to walk to the bathroom. I stood in the closet for almost five minutes, just staring at the mass of clothing hanging from the hangers. I was still in only my white lace panties, feeling a little shell-shocked, I think, as I thought of the twenty-four hours ahead of us - and then the month ahead of that.

So many things would change in this month. I knew, that when we returned, I wouldn’t be the same girl I am now. I wouldn’t be a girl anymore - I’d be a woman. I knew this deep in the marrow of my bones. Calix planned to make love to me - or fuck me - or whatever he called it. He had told me this repeatedly, and I’d even asked him to do it. I knew that when we were alone, and he had all night, he’d do the deed. And then I would be changed. But now that I was thinking of this, chewing over it in my mind, I couldn’t help but feel a little intimidated about the time in my near future that I would face.

I have twenty-four hours of travel time where people will surround us, I reminded myself. I have twenty-four hours of travel time where I could mull over this, find a way to not only accept it, but also feel good about it, and I would be fine. I could do this. This would be good.

Crap, I was losing my mind.

“Nova.” Calix spoke my name from behind me and I whirled around, covering my breasts with my hands. At this, his eyes narrowed and he took a step forward. “Shy again, love?”