Bittersweet Hope (10 page)

He looked serious, and determined. He looked like he might be about to kiss me. Holy crap.

I waited, clinging to the thought. It must have been only seconds, but I felt suspended in time, the world passing through days and weeks with nobody noticing we were locked in an embrace by the catfish pond.

Finally, he ran his fingers through my hair. Then he loosened his hold on me. “We better get back inside before my mother wakes up and finds us out here. She’ll think I’m corrupting you or something.” He stepped back and looked out at the water.

Standing by myself again, I nodded. “Okay.”

He strode toward the house, taking the pathway two stones at a time.

What just happened? What
almost
happened? There had definitely been a moment between us, way stronger than the one in the truck at the beginning of the week. Caleb had to have felt it, too. So why the sudden brush off? It almost felt like I’d just been stood up. My head was cluttered, but it wouldn’t help to stand outside staring like an idiot. Looking up at the moon once more, I grudgingly turned and went into the house.

Chapter Thirteen

Craaaaack! BOOM!

Sounds of the storm exploding in the sky outside woke me up. Trees hit my window, and lightning flashed through the blinds so quick and strong it seemed as if it would come through the walls and grab me. My sheets twisted around my body as I tried to stumble out of bed, and I fell to the floor in an awkward pile of arms and legs and blankets.

It was still dark out, the sun hadn’t yet risen for the day. Not like it would be a sunny day anyway, from the looks of the monsoon raging outside. It sounded like noises were coming from downstairs, but it was covered by the whooshing of the wind and the pounding rain hitting the house. When I made it to the door to look, bright lights from below greeted me. Someone was banging around in the kitchen. Or either the storm was trying to come in.

I grabbed a pair of blue sweat pants and a t-shirt and swapped my pajamas for them. They seemed safer, especially after the sizzling way Caleb had held me before. Sparks popped in my ears at the memory. Closing my eyes, I willed myself not to think about him, and I headed downstairs.

Anna scrambled around, putting candles on every empty bit of counter space.
I looked through the doorway to the living room. They were set around in there, too. Lighters lined the island in the center of the kitchen.

“Anna?”

She looked up. Her usually perfect blonde hair stuck to the side of her head, her eyes make-up less and wide.

“We have to get these all out before we lose power. Come and help me.”

“How do you know the power will go out?” She was adorable. It was tough suppressing the giggle threatening to escape.

“Oh, she always freaks out when it storms. You’ll get used to it.”

A lazy grin stretched across Caleb’s face as he leaned against the banister and yawned, clad only in a pair of gray sweats. His muscular chest was tan and smooth. Automatically, my mouth went dry and my toes curled. I didn’t feel like I was breathing, which was silly. I had to be breathing. But all I could think about was how perfect it had felt with those strong arms around me, with his face so close to mine…

“Caleb, will you hush. I do not
freak out.” Anna stuck a hand on her hip. When she actually looked at Caleb for the first time she frowned. “Son. Go and put some clothes on, won’t you?” Her eyes rolled toward the top of the stairs.

He raised his eyebrows
. “I have clothes on.”

“Well go put
more
on.”

They held one another’s eyes for a second. Caleb wrinkled his forehead while his mother shifted her eyes to me and back to him.

Anna won. Caleb turned and walked up the stairs, grumbling. “Geez, I don’t know what the big deal is.” If his mother heard him, she didn’t let it show.

“Audrey, there are flash lights in the desk. Will you bring them in here? Now, where did I put the extra batteries?”

I did as she said while Anna mumbled to herself, flying around the kitchen in her gray bathrobe. She finally found some batteries and put them on the table with the rest of her supplies. Caleb came back downstairs and sat at the table, his hands cradling his perfect blonde head.

“You know, a person can’t sleep with you two making all this racket. It would have been nice to get a couple more hours in before I had to get up for school.”

“I don’t think you’re going to school today, honey.” Anna told him.

“Why?”

Just as the word left his mouth the lights blinked, and then the kitchen was encased in darkness.

“I told you the power would go out.” A lighter flicked and Anna’s face
was illuminated in the flame of the candle. She walked around the kitchen, the flames glowing in each jar once she passed them.

Panic stunted me. I had to go to school. How else would I see Sierra and Sadie? I
needed
to see them. Sadie needed to be watched like a hawk now that she was hanging out with little miss trouble. She might be completely ignoring me, but at least at school I could make sure she was okay. Being away for two days during the weekend drove me crazy enough.

Anna pressed a button on the small radio sitting at the table and the room filled with the voice of a local DJ. Thorne County was under tornado warnings, and several roads were already flooded. There were no injuries to report. All local schools would be closed for the day.

Irritation struck at my skin. Just great. So now I didn’t get to see my sisters, didn’t get to try and talk some sense into Sadie, and I was going to be closed up in the house with Caleb all day. I didn’t know what was worse. Maybe I could avoid him somehow. The last thing I needed was to say something stupid and let him know that I was tongue tied around him.

Anna handed us each a flashlight. “Why don’t you two go on back to bed? Maybe when you wake up later it will be a little lighter in here, and we can play a game or something.”

We nodded in unison and went toward the stairs. Once I reached my room, my tired body fell onto the mattress. It wasn’t like I would be able to sleep. Or at least, I thought I wouldn’t. Soon I drifted off, thinking of catfish ponds and moonlight.

...

“You are such a cheater!” I jutted my finger across the Monopoly board at Caleb. He stared at me, an innocent look on his face.

“Who me? I don’t cheat.”

“You most certainly did. I counted my money before I went to the bathroom, and now I’m missing hundreds.” My attention turned to Anna. “Did you leave the board?”

She bit her lip, looking from her wide eyed son to me. “Uh, maybe for a second? I only went to get some more water out of the cooler.”

“See! I knew you stole my money!” No matter how determined I was to be angry, as I pointed at Caleb laughter bubbled up in my throat and jumped out. He opened his mouth again, probably to protest, but he couldn’t contain his laughter any longer, and he fell over, clutching his stomach. Pretty soon all three of us were cracking up.

He pulled four fake yellow one hundred dollar bills from under the game board, directly in front of my seat. “Oh look. You must have pushed them under the board when you got up. Oops.”

My eyes narrowed at him but I still giggled. “Yeah. Uh-huh.” I snatched my money up and put it with the rest of my pile. “Just because you’re losing doesn’t mean you have to ruin
my
game.” I stuck my tongue out at him, and he winked at me. Shivers ran up and down my spine. His eyes crinkled at the side as he grinned, just like Anna’s. But on Caleb it didn’t look just cute. It was swoon-worthy.

I shook my head.
Stop, stop, stop
! I knew I might be blushing, imagining him kissing me, holding me, but I couldn’t get the images to leave my head. I willed my eyes to focus on the play money.

“You two are too much.” Anna said, pushing up from her place on the floor. She wore a wide smile. I knew she was happy that Caleb and I had been hanging out with her all day. First there was the game of charades in the afternoon, then we’d roasted hot dogs and marshmallows over the fire Caleb built in the chimney. Now a rousing game of good old Monopoly. It was one of the best days I’d ever had. It felt like…something a family would do, warm and cozy and loving. My insides were practically bursting with happiness. Guilt threatened to take it all away, as the thought of family brought Mama’s picture into my head, as well as Sadie’s and Sierra’s. I pushed them aside. I deserved to smile, needed it even. There was nothing I could do about any of that right now, so there was no sense in wallowing in misery. I could think about it later.

“Where are you going, Mom?” Caleb stretched on the floor in front of the fireplace. The flames behind him made shadows on his bare calves, mesmerizing me.

Anna glanced down at her watch. “It’s nearly midnight.” She gestured toward the windows, rain still running down in a tiny flood. The storm hadn’t stopped all day, and the power was still out. “I know you don’t have school tomorrow, either, but this old lady is tired. I’m headed to bed.”

“What about our game?” Caleb asked.

Anna shrugged. “Y’all finish it. Just split my money and properties or something. Night.”

We both said goodnight and she went toward her room. It completely sucked that school would be closed tomorrow, too. But the DJ had reported the school had some water damage, and even if the power came on tomorrow it would take a whole day to clean it up. Even though I’d been able to speak to Sierra on my cell phone a few hours earlier, it was tearing me up not to be able to see them. Not to mention not even knowing how Sadie was doing. My blood zapped just thinking about what Tori could be talking her into. I pushed it out of my mind. That was the only way to keep from falling into some kind of funk. I just couldn’t think about it. Again, it would have to be tomorrow’s problem. There wasn’t anything that could be done right now, anyway.

“Do you want to finish the game?” Caleb asked, snapping me out of my own head.

I lifted my shoulders. “It doesn’t matter. Do you?”

“We’ve been playing for about two hours now. I think I might be Monopoly’d out.”

I nodded. “Okay.”

We worked together to put the game up and he walked it over to the bookcase, then came and sat back down next to me in front of the fire. His eyes flashed toward the kitchen. There were no sounds coming from upstairs.

“Do you want to talk?” He asked. His eyes concentrated on the fire.

“Talk?”

“I heard you on the phone with your sister a while ago. You sounded upset that you wouldn’t be able to see them today.” He looked at me.

Part of me wanted to close off again, to withdraw into my own pain and shut him completely out. But that wouldn’t do any good. Last night
had convinced me I needed a friend, and if Caleb wanted to be that friend I should let him. The problem would be keeping it strictly at a friendship, when just being around him made my pulse go haywire. He wouldn’t want me, though. A guy like him couldn’t possibly like me. So, just friendship it would have to be.

It took me a second to find the right words. “I’m not worried about Sierra. She’s the one I talked to earlier. It’s my youngest sister that makes me nervous. She’s only fifteen. Her foster parents won’t even let her talk to us on the phone.” The words came easier than I’d expected.

“You’re the oldest?”

“Yeah. There’s only a year between each of us, though.”

“Your mama was busy.” Caleb grinned. He hadn’t meant it in a mean way. He couldn’t possibly know just how true that statement was.

“You’ve got that right.” The words were dry coming out of my mouth, and it felt like he picked up on it. Confusion and a twinge of humility crossed his face in a grimace.

“Is your youngest sister kind of wild or something? Is that why you’re worried?”

I sighed. “No. Not really. I mean, she’s been a little harder to deal with lately, but our life wasn’t exactly easy. But she’s never really been a trouble maker.”

“Then why the stress over her?” He pushed himself up from where he was leaning on the floor using his elbow. The move put him closer to me. So close that we were touching as we sat cross-legged in front of the warm fire. The bright orange flames sizzled and sparks popped out toward the stained glass screen covering it. My heart was doing the same thing, dancing with flames and popping in ten different directions.

“It’s the other foster kid in the house with her.” The words
foster kid
left a bitter taste on my tongue. “She’s trouble.”

“Who is she?”

I shook my head. “Her name is Tori. I don’t know what her last name is. She’s Sadie’s age, I think, so she must be a sophomore.”

Caleb watched the smoke billowing toward the chimney, his eyes taking on a faraway look. Suddenly he looked up at me.

“The girl who comes to school with all that make-up piled on her face? She wears a lot of black. And those hooker boots. She always has on those hooker boots.”

My insides tugged me in two different directions. Part of me wanted to laugh at Caleb’s description. The other part grimaced, thinking of how bad it was that he recognized who I was talking about, especially with so little information. And the term “hooker boots” made me instantly think of Mama. I winced, remembering how she used to dress before she’d walk down to the alley behind our apartment building.

“That sounds about right.” I told him. It was. There was no point in denying it.

He nodded. “I don’t know all that much about her. She doesn’t have like, a bad reputation with the guys around school, at least, not the ones I know. I do remember her getting caught out on the football field drinking and smoking after a game last fall, though. It was big news around school, because stuff like that doesn’t really happen at Thorne County. If we drink, we cover our tracks better.”

“Wonderful.” Sulkiness started at my feet and before long I was drowning in it. Just great.

Caleb bumped my shoulder with his. “Hey. Don’t worry. You said your sister was a pretty good kid. It would take more than some idiot like Tori to turn her evil.” He shook my shoulder and laughed. It was a valiant attempt to bring me out of my sour mood.