Read Atonement (The Atonement Series) Online
Authors: Elle Chardou
Colin laughed out loud. “I’m sure you’re wishing I had told you my colossal secret when I had the chance.”
I set the glass down and closed my eyes. “No, I’m glad I stopped you because I don’t want to hear it. Don’t you think some secrets are worth keeping? I think what ever you wanted to tell me would just tear us apart so leave it alone, Colin. I don’t need the drama in my life. Baby, it’s best this way.”
“Maybe for you but what about me? What if I need to get some shit off my chest and I want you to understand what happened? I think we could both heal from the mess and perhaps the experience with be the catharsis that brings us closer together.”
“Okay. We’ll discuss it when we get back to Seattle, okay? Not now, not in this fucking tin can where there is no where for me to go, all right. Can it wait until then? You’ve waited all this time—I don’t see how waiting a little while longer will change anything.”
He smiled. “You’re right. Come here and cuddle in my arms. We have bigger issues to worry about, don’t we?”
“I think this is a situation that will work itself out.” I smiled back before I kissed his lips and surrendered within the warmth of his embrace. Before I knew it, I was asleep again.
Chapter Nineteen
I HAD NEVER
been happier than when we finally pulled up to the behemoth monstrosity also known as Fifteen Twenty-One. After he parked, he helped me upstairs and told me he would bring our luggage up to the condo. I lay back on his comfortable slate gray suede recliner chair with a matching ottoman as my Android began to play my sister’s ring tone of “Poker Face”.
I sighed and grabbed the phone. Did I really want to take this call? Did I have a choice?
“Hello?” I answered.
“Hey, sweetie! By your response I am assuming you’re back Stateside. You okay?”
“Yeah, everything is fine. I’m just jet-lagged and feel like run over dog shit. I can’t believe it is barely after six in the evening and raining when we left beautiful Parisian weather with perfect temps in the seventies.”
“Well you’ll adjust quick enough again. Besides, it’s hardly raining. It’s just enough to dirty up your car if you know what I mean.” Caitlyn paused dramatically before she inquired, “You and Colin weren’t planning on going anywhere tonight, were you?”
“No, I don’t think so. We went to a club last night and we both drank too much. Unfortunately, he was fine this morning our time while I felt like shit even then so I believe we are staying in for the night.”
Oh yeah, and I’m preggers, which kind of kills our nightlife for a while, or at least mine.
“Cool. Liam didn’t want me to say anything but he’s cooking for us all tonight. It should be ready in about an hour. Is that enough time to freshen up and make it up here to his condo?”
“Yeah, that works but I can’t drink so you can make sure he’s got some Evian or Pellegrino on tap?”
Caitlyn didn’t bother to ask why I couldn’t drink; she was much too intelligent to ask the inane question which, ironically, caused a pregnant pause. “I
thought
you were on the pill, Deirdre? Goddamn you, this is going to crush Mom you know.”
“I am on the pill and I never missed a fucking dose but either I keep getting packs from a defective batch or I’m just part of that two percent it fails. Who the fuck knows what happened but I’m pregnant and nothing is going to change that now.”
“Well, there is a chance you might miscarry—does he know? Did you tell him yet? I would go with you for moral support if you want to…you know…”
“Colin knows and if I did that he would murder me himself. He wants the baby and he wants me too—”
“This is just so typical of certain women. You know he’s going to think you did this to trap him. Why didn’t you make him wear a condom?” Caitlyn shouted.
“Why? Do you make Liam wear one?”
“I did…until our tests came back clean and then we stopped. Not that it would have mattered as he was using the Lamb skin kind and those are only good with preventing pregnancy, not sexually transmitted diseases.”
“Listen, I said we would be down so why are we still on the phone? I need some time for myself. I am very tired and frankly, I don’t need the lecture, Cait. I’m older than you and what ever happens is between Colin and I. I know he isn’t your favorite person but it really isn’t your choice so…”
“I wasn’t trying to talk you into anything. I was just saying I wouldn’t want him to think you did it on purpose. Have you explained it was an accident?”
“I didn’t have to,” I began softly. “He saw me popping my pills like candy every day like clockwork. He’s not stupid. Besides, he’s really happy because he thinks it’ll bring us closer together and I can’t say that isn’t true. I really love him and I don’t think this child is a mistake,” I explained in a quiet voice.
“Dad would have been happy at least. He always wanted to be a grandfather and just to think…he’s missing out on it. I don’t know what Mom will say but now that Dad isn’t around and she’s decided to date again, I think she feels young and vibrant again. A grandchild might put a damper on that feeling.”
“Well, she’ll just have to get over it, won’t she? We’ll talk more when we see you in about an hour.”
“Okay, see you soon.”
I pressed the End button just as Colin walked in with the last of our luggage. “Who was that? Caitlyn?”
“Yep.” I stood and walked over to him. “Liam is making dinner for us tonight and we are expected to show up in about an hour. I know we’re both jet-lagged but I thought it would be great to get it over with.”
“Get over
what
exactly?” he inquired, his crystal blue eyes bright with emotion. “You think the four of us having dinner is going to make Liam have a sudden lobotomy and forget he fucked you first? That isn’t going to happen. It’s going to be awkward as hell but we can deal with it. We’ve dealt with worse when we were in Europe so I guess it’s all right.”
I walked closer until we were inches apart. “Come on. We can shower together and you can scrub my back—I’ll scrub yours. Remember, we’re the ones who are in a relationship and the one night stand with Liam was just that. Don’t let him get to you like that, okay? I love you and you’re the only person I want to spend the rest of my life with. We’re going to have a child together and we will have to figure this out as we go along.
“Despite all my eccentricities, I seriously thought I would be married when I got pregnant and started a family. I didn’t think it would happen this way so you have to understand my point of view, okay? This is terribly awkward for me too. I’m willing to work at this if you are and it won’t happen again, I promise. Believe me, I know Caitlyn and she is good at wrapping men around her finger. Liam won’t dare look at me with the slightest hint of desire in his eyes if he wants to keep my sister happy.”
Colin led us to his personal bathroom, his left hand holding my right in a death grip. “Believe me, that isn’t what I am afraid of.”
DINNER AT LIAM’S
turned out to be not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. He chose to cook penne pasta with a rich garlic sauce piled with sautéed onions, jumbo shrimp and scallops. It was absolutely delicious and paired with an expensive Pinot Grigio, it was beyond sublime.
I drank only half a glass of Pinot Grigio and made it last throughout dinner though I mostly drank several glasses of Evian water. I might have achieved the lightest buzz known to man but Liam insisted we were all being overtly paranoid about the not-drinking and pregnancy.
“Are you kidding me, woman? Ma drank with both Colin and I the whole pregnancy. Not that she was an alcoholic but she wouldn’t miss the chance to have a glass of wine with dinner. Seriously, you should be fine,” Liam said when I tried to put my hand over the wine glass.
I merely glared at Caitlyn who avoided my gaze before she looked over with a slightly sheepish look and turned away again.
“So, looks like you two are really serious?” Liam began again as we began to eat dinner. “When’s the wedding?”
I stared over at Colin who seemed preoccupied and not in a good way before I responded, “We’re not sure yet.”
“Well, it’s definitely unconventional but not unheard of. Dad won’t be too upset. He’ll probably think Mom should have been around to see it happen. She really wanted grandchildren.”
“That’s what I was telling Deirdre about our father. He really looked forward to us starting a family and now that he isn’t here, this happens but I still think it is great news. You two make a beautiful couple and more than that, you look happy,” Caitlyn enthused before she dug into her plate of seafood penne.
“Well, we’re very happy.”
Liam chewed thoroughly before he swallowed. “Does this mean I will have to look for yet another HR manager? I really do want you to stay on at uConnect despite the pregnancy. You’re free to take advantage and take off as much time as you need following the birth of the baby but I do want you to work for the company.”
“Are you kidding me? Now that I am expecting baby, I really do need a full time job. Colin is going into business with Drew and they are opening the bar together but I want to carry my own weight. I’ve delayed not getting a job for too long and despite being a trust fund adult, I really do think I can make a significant contribution to the company,” I explained.
“That’s great—”
“Liam, we need to talk,” Colin interrupted as he stood. “We can use the balcony space but this can’t wait any longer.”
Liam’s blue eyes turned icy before he stood and followed his brother to the indoor balcony. They closed the door behind themselves and I immediately saw Colin light a cigarette.
“Speaking of, have you quit smoking?” Caitlyn inquired as she continued to eat.
“I haven’t had one all day. I only smoked occasionally on the European trip and I always planned to quit for good…again, once we got home so this is as good of time as any.”
I put my fork down and stared at my sister. “Sometimes I think you forget what the dynamics of our relationship are and I’m getting sick of it. I’m your older sister, not the other way around yet you seem to have very little respect for me and that is irksome to me. I am going to live my life however I want and that means you don’t always get an opinion, you got that?”