Atonement (The Atonement Series) (13 page)

“No, you aren’t but at the same time, I’m not a dog and I’m not going to ‘sit’ just because you tell me to either,” I finally said, my eyes never wavering from his own.

Liam grabbed me by the back of my neck and brought me in for a kiss. It was soft, feathery, and light at first but the moment his tongue reached for mine through my open mouth, it became animalistic and bruising. His touch was electric, from the way his other hand trailed down the side of my little scarlet flared-hem bandage dress and gently touched my thigh to the way he controlled our kiss entirely.

When he pulled away and I could finally come up for air, a straggled breath I was barely aware of holding until now, he kissed my neck as his nimble fingers undid the clasp at the base of my neck before he unzipped the dress from the back. He pulled the sleeves of the dress down and my breasts were immediately bared to him as it wasn’t the kind of dress you could wear a bra with unless you wanted it on display.

His hands were immediately at my breasts, squeezing my nipples between his thumb and forefinger as he kissed me passionately, his tongue claiming my mouth as his own yet again.

I knew we’d both passed the point of no return and to be perfectly honest, I didn’t want him to stop or slow down. My sex throbbed clear from my swollen clit all the way to my aching womb which felt so empty at this moment and wanted to be full with a man,
this
man in particular.

Liam bent and sucked on my left nipple as he continued to squeeze the other, almost to the point of it being painful but it felt so pleasurable to have his warm mouth on my body, I lost all sense of time and control.

As he switched breasts and sucked on my right nipple while teasing with left one, still slick from his saliva, his other hand wandered underneath my dress, slid aside my matching scarlet thong and caressed the folds of sex before he allowed his middle finger to enter me and finger-fucked me in a slow teasing endeavor as his thumb seductively massaged my clit.

I stood there, almost shell-shocked by the pleasure and buried the feeling of impending guilt. It nagged and ate away at some part of me but I could deal with it tomorrow when I was stone cold sober.

He picked me up and took us to his bedroom where he stood me back up, slipped my dress with care from my body before he pushed me down on the bed. The same care he’d taken with my dress, he took with slipping off my shoes and setting them on the floor.

Liam kissed his way up my body and I closed my eyes and enjoyed the sensation and surrendered myself to the moment. Then he spread my legs and slipped my thong off. My whole body was bare to him, especially the moist, swollen sex between my legs which throbbed painfully and wanted, needed his touch so desperately, it was hard for me to control myself.

“Open your eyes,” he whispered and I finally did.

He stood before me and slipped out of his black dressy shirt before he slid off a pair of expensive black jeans. He wore no underwear and his cock jutted out painfully hard against his skin. He had absolutely no shame or compunction about sliding his fingers between my moist sex and using the lubricant to caress his cock with one of his hands.

“You want this?” he inquired out loud. “Tell me you want this.”

“I want this,” I repeated.

“You want what? I want to hear you say it. I want that beautiful mouth to exclaim she wants my cock.”

My eyes never left his as I whispered, “I want your cock.”

Liam pushed me further up on the bed and knelt down in front of my spread legs. “All in due time but first, I have been dying to taste that sweet cunt of yours.”

Ugh, I hated
that
word but I tried not to let it kill the moment.

His fingers spread my sex like a flower before his tongue traced my swollen clit. I gasped out loud as his whole mouth surrounded the swollen bud with warmth while his tongue flicked over the center with measured, teasing strokes which drove me nearly to the brink.

Liam slipped two fingers inside my soaking sex and began to slowly pleasure me from the inside out as he licked my clit. I thought I would lose it but once I began to see stars and a powerful orgasm flowed over me, I knew I would be okay, physically at least.

He crawled up my body and began to kiss me passionately and for one lost moment, I forgot about precaution because before I knew it, he’d entered me and thrust hard and rough against my body. I placed firm hands on his shoulders and ended our kiss.

“I’m not on birth control. We can’t bareback,” I lied smoothly.

“Oh, okay.” He immediately withdrew and reached over to his bureau where he grabbed a condom wrapper, sheathed his cock and spread my legs and thrust inside me again.

As he kissed me, I felt the difference but what ever he had sheathed himself with wasn’t a latex condom. I could still feel the warmth of his hardness buried inside of me and every time he thrust into me, it felt as if we were still barebacking yet we weren’t. I tried to lose myself in the moment, knowing he wouldn’t have put himself or me in any danger. Sex was great but it wasn’t worth dying over.

His lips trailed my neck before he stopped and stared into my eyes. “Where are you because you’re not here, and you certainly aren’t in the moment?”

“Yeah, I know, I’m sorry…what kind of condom are we using?” I wondered out loud.

“Lambskin. I’m allergic to latex and I get monthly HIV and STD tests. Should I be worried about you? To be honest, you don’t seem like the promiscuous type. How many sex partners have you had? One, maybe two?”

His flippant description of my sexual history was a bit humiliating. “You’re the second,” I whispered as I felt my face heat up.

“Listen, lambskin doesn’t protect against STDs but we’re both safe. You said you weren’t on anything and it will protect against pregnancy. As far as I am concerned, that is my only worry. I don’t make it a habit to bone my employees or random women and I trust you. Do you trust me?”

His sky blue eyes were so bright with lust and truth, I nodded before I could stop myself from doing anything different.

Liam nodded and flipped me over onto my stomach. “Do you like it rough? Is that what will make you pay attention to the here and now?”

“Yes,” I gasped.

He grabbed my hair as he entered me roughly from behind and fucked me hard and rough. I lost myself in the moment and it was exhilarating. Nothing existed outside of his hard thrusts and the way his cock felt inside me, opening me, commanding me to obey his every thrust and his need to get off along with my own.

When one of his hands snaked between my legs and began to caress my clit, I lost all sense of time and place. His breath, hot and heavy against my neck, drove me over the edge as he caressed me in a teasing way. He wasn’t trying to help me come in any way. The longer I held out, the more time he had to enjoy me and that was the point.

I lost count how many times he made me come that night or how many condoms we went through but it was more than three. As soon as I thought he was sated, he would be ready to go another round and as much as it embarrassed me to admit it, I felt the same way. I wasn’t ready for the night to end, not yet.

Around four in the morning, we were finally finished, physically and mentally exhausted. Liam liked to cuddle and he held me close in his arms, his lips kissing my neck and breathing my scent.

“No one can know this happened between us,” I finally said after a very long silence. “They will think you gave me the job because you were attracted to me and not because of my skills. Plus, the last thing I need is workplace gossip. It is going to be tough enough to be the new ‘girl’. I don’t need talk I’m just some whore who spreads her legs for the boss.”

Liam turned me toward him and kissed my nose. “It won’t get out because I am worried about employee gossip…it can’t get out because it would destroy Colin. He’s my brother and I know how he is. He likes you a lot and I couldn’t do that to him.”

My hands reached for his face and caressed the sides which were rough with new-growth though I could barely tell due to his fair hair. “So, protecting Colin is your highest priority? That makes me feel really good because I like him too but I couldn’t have done this with him so soon and not felt like a whore. I know it doesn’t matter I don’t have a lot of sexual partners but…I want him to take me seriously and if something happens between us, I want it to be special.”

“You mean not like this?” he inquired before he laughed out loud. “Don’t get me wrong, I think you are a great girl and if my brother wasn’t so crazy about you, I would definitely pursue you. Doesn’t matter I’ve had you many, many times tonight. I want you again. In my bed. Tomorrow night and the night after and the night after. But…I can’t do that to him. Colin’s suffered behind my selfish desires before and I won’t ever allow it to happen again. It isn’t fair to him because he’s truly a good person and he deserves to be happy.”

“And what about you? Do you not deserve happiness?”

Liam didn’t look at me as he lay on his stomach and stared at an atrocious Picasso he had hanging on his wall above his bed. “I don’t think I deserve happiness. I have always taken what I wanted whether it hurt someone or not. I have done anything I’ve desired and there are way too many hurt girlfriends I have left in my wake. I convince them they’re the one and they start having visions of us building a life together. Marriage, children, family time—until you, I have never met another woman I wanted to marry.

“Now that I know you’re not available, I will have to find someone else to feel this deeply for however I am betting it won’t happen. I’ll settle because it’s what I am good at. That’s not to say I won’t love her but I won’t be in love with her. Perhaps in the end, that is best. Being in love with someone is very dangerous and can cause all kinds trouble.”

I lay next to him on my back. Our arms brushed lightly and I could already feel the need inside me rise like an oncoming tide. “Perhaps you’re right. I have never been in love either although I can honestly say Drew is the closest I have ever come to loving anyone. He is a great guy and he’s going to make some woman very happy but it won’t be me.”

“Didn’t he move out here for you?”

“Yeah, he did. Right after the accident with my father. He abandoned his PhD and started working at the coffee shop and bar just like Colin. The guy is a genius and really good with computers but he’d rather waste his life on the sheer chance we might get back together. I feel horrible because I don’t want to mislead him. He’s my best friend and that is the way we should stay. We weren’t meant to be in a romantic relationship together,” I explained softly.

Liam threw his arm across my waist. “Why? He seems like a decent guy. Is it the whole bisexual thing?”

“No, not at all.” I looked his way and smiled. “Actually, I never had a problem with it because he never disrespected me and he never cheated on me—not that I know of though he was an outrageous flirt. We were a great couple. It just so happens he was my first love and as ridiculous as it sounds, I knew there was more out there in life I needed to discover. I could live a very happy life with Drew but then I would always wonder what I missed out on and why I was so afraid of living life?

“I didn’t ever want to have those feelings for him. I didn’t want to honestly think he’d kept me from living a very different life than the one we ended up with together. We needed to experience other people and see the world. It just wasn’t meant to be. At least not now, not at this time in our life.”

He curled underneath me. “Stay here, at least until the morning. You could shower and change back into your dress. I’ll take you back to Colin’s then.”

“And how do we convince your brother nothing happened between us if I do that?”

Liam smiled devilishly. “Leave that to me.”

I couldn’t resist his charm and I turned on to my side, away from him. He spooned me and somehow it felt okay and all right. I had to keep trying to convince myself we’d done nothing wrong. Neither of us were in a relationship at the moment so I hadn’t cheated and he hadn’t either. We were two adults of reasonable age who felt like having sex and were attracted to one another so we did.