Always and Forever (82 page)

I figured Carla would be gone a long time, the queue to get
served was crazy and the booth we were sat in had now been taken by someone
else. Chris seemed nice enough and I didn’t mind dancing with him so long as he
kept his hands to himself.

Beyonce’s ‘Grown Woman’ was the next track and I managed to
get so lost in the music, I didn’t even notice he had pressed his athletic body
against my back. He gently placed his hands on my hips and brushed my hair over
to the other side of my neck. It was such an intimate thing to do; I froze and
didn’t know what to do. I glanced over to the bar and saw Jake with Melissa, he
was whispering something in her ear and making her laugh, she playfully slapped
him on the chest and that’s when I decided to give him a taste of his own
medicine.

“Don’t you mind dancing to such a feminist tune?” I asked
Chris, looking back over my shoulder, allowing his hands to stay on my hips and
his chest against my back.

“What do you mean?” He asked, raising his eyebrows in
confusion.

“Well, it’s Beyonce and she’s singing about what it’s like
to be a grown woman.” I laughed, moving my hips in time to the music.

“I like dancing with you and that’s all that matters.” He
whispered huskily.

I was starting to think I’d taken things too far and I was
just about to make an excuse to go to the bathroom when I realised that Chris
wasn’t stood behind me anymore. I whirled around just in time to see my new
dance partner go hurtling through the crowd before he landed flat on his face.
Jake was on top of him before he even had a chance to defend himself. Jake’s
fists pummelled against his face with a ferocious intensity, the blinding,
uncontrollable rage I thought I would never see again had reared its ugly head
and I was powerless to stop it.

There were a lot of people screaming and a massive crowd of
people pushed me out of the way to get a closer look at the fight taking place
right in front of them. The guys were either jeering Jake or cheering him on,
some people got out their mobile phones so they could video the brutality and
show it to their friends later. It was sickening and I couldn’t understand why
no one was trying to do a thing to stop it.

I clawed my way through the crowd, getting trampled on and
crushed in the process. I tried screaming his name but it was pointless,
nothing could be heard over the sound of the music and the vitriolic chants of
the audience who got to witness the fight. Someone eventually switched off the
music and that’s when I heard Jake’s voice.

 “She’s
mine
! You don’t fucking touch her! You
don’t even look at what’s mine, do you understand?”

“Jake, stop it!” I screamed, forcing my way to the front.

I came face to face with Carla when I got there and she
also looked distraught, begging Jake to let the guy go.

“You fucking son of a bitch! She’s mine!” Jake roared,
pounding his fists against his face, over and over and over again.

It was clear to me he had lost his mind; he was behaving
like an animal. There was so much animosity and venom in his eyes; it hurt me
to see him using his unbelievable strength against someone who could not defend
himself against him.

“Jake, we were just dancing!” I clung onto his arm and
begged him to understand. I needed him to end his vicious and merciless
onslaught before it was too late.

“Do you understand?” Jake growled, grabbing the front of
his shirt and shouting in his face.

Chris was beaten, bleeding and swollen but he somehow
managed to nod his head. I think he knew it was the only way he could stop the
murderous, nonsensical attack against him and wanted to preserve his life over
his pride.

“I understand.” He murmured softly.

“I’ll tear off your fingers if you so much as touch her
again.” Jake threatened, his eyes glimmering with hatred and disgust.

I exhaled with relief when he finally stood up and released
the hold he had on Chris. He spun around to face me and grabbed my wrist,
tugging me behind him as he stalked over towards Carla. He told her to follow
us and the three of us made our way through the parting crowd towards the exit.
Everyone was staring at us and I could feel myself turning red with shame and
embarrassment.  

Jake reached for his phone as soon as we stepped outside,
pulling me back towards him when I made my way to go inside to our flat.

“What are you doing? I want to go upstairs.” I complained,
trying to free my hand from his grasp.

“You’re not going anywhere. I’m about to phone a taxi and
then we’re going to take Carla home. Once we’ve dropped her off, we’ll come
right back here and we’re going to talk about what the fuck just happened.” He
narrowed his eyes at me, fixing me with on of his penetrating stares.

It made me shift uncomfortably and I couldn’t even bring
myself to look at Carla. We were both in big trouble and I figured the best
thing to do was stay quiet. The taxi didn’t take long to turn up and Carla got
in the front whilst Jake and I sat in the back. No one spoke the whole way
there and I was actually grateful when Carla got out of the car, I was hoping
that Jake would say something to me once we were left alone. It turned out I
couldn’t have been more wrong, the awkward silence became more intense and I
was dreading the inevitable confrontation that would take place as soon as we
got back home.

I felt like I was about to be scolded and the only time he
spoke to me was when I was getting out of the taxi. I twisted my ankle as I
stepped onto the ground and I would have fallen if Jake hadn’t reached out to
steady me.

“Damn heels.” I muttered, rubbing my ankle.

“You need to be careful in those things.” He said darkly,
unlocking the front door.

I thought the argument would start as soon as we got back.
Instead, he took me by surprise and sat down on the sofa. I watched him rub his
forehead, trying to relieve some of the tension. I remained by the doorway,
wringing my hands together as I considered the best way to deal with what had
just happened.

“Jake, you have to say something.” I begged him, desperate
to bring an end to the overwhelming silence.

“Bethany, never again do I want to see what I saw earlier
on tonight. I cannot witness that again, not ever.” He slowly raised his head,
locking those devastating eyes of his upon my own.

I gently sunk my teeth into my bottom lip. I had no idea
where to start or what I was supposed to say. So many thoughts were whirling
around inside my head; I didn’t know which one to pick first and which one to
save for last.

“I feel the same way. I never want to see you with that
bitch ever again!” I yelled, pointing my finger at him from across the room.

The only image in my head was of Jake and Melissa together.
I remembered every time she touched him, smiled at him or laughed at something
he said and it was driving me insane. I felt sick with pure, unadulterated
jealousy and as far as I was concerned, Jake had a lot of explaining to do.

“What bitch? Who are you talking about?”

He leapt up from the sofa and was standing in front of me
within seconds. He pushed me back against the door, making me feel like I was
imprisoned. His arms were on either side of my body, the door behind was right
my back and then there was Jake, right in front of me. I was completely trapped
and I knew I couldn’t escape him.

“Melissa.” I snarled, trying to shove his strong and
muscular body away from me.

Jake frowned at me, it looked like he had no idea what I
was talking about and this made me even angrier. I had been torturing myself
all night with the thought of them together and he was acting like he didn’t
even know who she was.

“Why would you mention her? She’s not important; she’s just
some girl I work with. She means absolutely nothing to me.” He said firmly, securing
his mesmerising gaze upon me.

“It looked like you know her pretty well, Jake. I watched
the two of you flirting all night!” I cried, hurling myself against him an
attempt to make him move.

“I was
not
flirting with her! I don’t know what you
think you saw or what you’re even talking about.”

“I saw her touch you, I saw her whisper something in your
ear and stroke your arm as she walked past you. I saw it all and it didn’t look
like you were complaining!” I tried to slap him, I tried to sneak underneath
his arm but he anticipated my movement and lowered it, boxing me in and keeping
me still.

“Didn’t you see how small the bar area is? You can’t even
squeeze past the other person without moving them out the way. That’s all it
was, Bethany. I swear.”

“The two of you looked very cosy and intimate together. It
seemed like you were familiar with one another and I want to know how long
you’ve known her for.” I demanded, folding my arms across my chest.

A part of me knew I was behaving like a stubborn child; the
other half didn’t give a damn. I wanted answers and I wouldn’t stop until I
heard every single one.

“I’ve know her for years. She’s been working at the bar for
a long time, long before I even started.” He explained wearily, closing his
eyes as he took a step back from me.

“Have you slept with her?”

“What?” Jake’s mouth fell open and his face turned white.

“Have you slept with her?” I already knew the answer but I
repeated my question, trying to keep my face cold and devoid of any emotion.

“Bethany, that’s… that doesn’t matter now. I’m with you,
only you. God, all I want is you; don’t you know that by now?” Jake raked his
fingers through his hair, imploring me to listen to him, to hear what he was
saying and understand his meaning.

“Have. You. Slept. With. Her?” I repeated my question for a
third time, torturing myself and Jake in the process.

“Don’t make me answer that.” He begged me, lowering his
gaze to the floor.

“Just tell me!” I grabbed a fistful of his shirt, consumed by
the rage that was threatening to burst out of my head any second.

“Yes! Is that what you wanted to hear? Yes, I fucked her.
It was a long time ago and that’s exactly what it was, a fuck and nothing more
than that.”

My mouth fell open, my whole body began to tremble and I
curled my fists, overwhelmed and consumed by the powerful urge I had to hurt
him. He said yes. He just confessed to having sex with her, the same girl who
was all over him downstairs, the same girl who touched him, brushed by him and flirted
with him all night.

“You’ve slept with her?” I whispered in disbelief.

“Yes but it was a long time ago and it meant nothing.”

“How long?”

 “A couple of years ago.”

“I knew it.” I sobbed, covering my face with my hands.

“Bethany, please let me explain.” Jake pleaded with me,
trying to prise my fingers from my face.

“I think you just did.” I mumbled furiously, crossing over
to the other side of the room. I didn’t want him anywhere near me and wanted
him to know it.

“Baby, we’ve already been through this so many times. Sex
before you never meant anything to me. None of it mattered and Melissa
certainly doesn’t.”

“Sex always means something, Jake.”

“No. It doesn’t. The only time it has ever meant anything
to me is when I’ve been with
you
.” He emphasised this by following me
across the room, pushing me against the kitchen unit and pressing himself
against me.

“Why should I believe you? You never told me you were
working with someone you once slept with, you kept it to yourself and that’s
equivalent to lying to me!”

“Sweetheart, I did not lie to you. I didn’t mention
anything about Melissa to you because I honestly didn’t think it was worth
mentioning. She means nothing to me. We talk because we work together and I’ve
known her for a long time but that’s all there is to it. She knows all about
you, Bethany. She knows I live with my girlfriend now and she knows how crazy I
am in love with you. I talk about you all the time.”

His lips were just centimetres away from my own and I tried
so hard to resist the incredible urge I had to reach up and kiss him.  I
wanted to believe everything he was saying but I just couldn’t shake the
despairing bitterness that came from envy. There’s a thin line between love and
hate and I don’t think I realised just how thin that line can be.