A red tainted Silence (45 page)

I watched him hand the customer her change, and as she turned away to leave, he grabbed a Kleenex and blew his nose. No one else came up to him. He braced himself with one hand and stared at a stand full of necklaces hanging next to the cash register. He reached out with a finger and caressed one, a little boomerang.

How I envied that boomerang.

Another customer walked up, and he snatched his hand back, giving the customer his patented smile. But I wasn’t fooled -- he hurt, worse than me. Karen had been right about that.

He still wanted me; I knew it.

My heart leapt into my throat, pounding ferociously as my groin heated, ached, thrummed. I tried to calm myself; the rose’s stem nearly slipped from my fingers. I turned away -- I couldn’t look at him, had to fight to calm myself.

I sure as hell couldn’t go into Charlie’s with a woody. An almost hysterical burst of laughter escaped me. I slapped my hand over my mouth. The door opened behind me and I yelped, stepping aside with a heated face as two girls exited. They stopped talking and looked at me, grinning.

“Sorry,” I said, grabbing the door and holding it for them.

“Hey, there,” the shorter one said, giving me a look of appraisal not unlike Jon had. I was glad I’d worn the jacket, since my dick was making my trousers poke out. Her gaze fell on the rose. “Who’s the rose for?”

“I, uh ...” I stammered. “For my roommate.” I groaned. “I -- I mean -- my friend, he works here --”

The taller girl looked inside. “You mean Nicholas?” The shorter one scowled at me. “All the cute ones really are gay. Come on, Mel.” She sauntered off.

The taller girl grinned. “Don’t mind her. She just thought you were cute. And she’s got a crush on Nicholas.” She laughed. “Oh, well. Good luck. He looks like he could use something to smile about.”

“Um, thanks,” I said as she walked off.

I still held the door, so with no other choice, I went inside.

Nicholas had disappeared. Grateful, I walked over to the only empty section and turned my back to the register. From there I could see the back wall’s reflection in the windows. It A Red-Tainted Silence

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was getting darker outside, so that made it easier. I was getting more and more nervous for the moment he realized it was me, not Karen, who had come to get him.

Where was he?

I glanced at my watch -- almost six. I started to flip through the CDs, groaning to myself as I realized I’d landed in the country music section. I didn’t know shit about country.

I heard Nick’s voice behind me, talking to someone. I glanced up at the reflection and saw him discussing something earnestly with a man about my dad’s age.

Nicholas was shaking his head, looked upset again. He pushed his hair behind both ears, then crossed his arms over his stomach, shaking his head once more. The other man clapped him on the back and shoved him from behind the counter -- and I realized he’d pointed him my way.

Damn.

I looked down at the CD under my fingertips, my heart pounding in my chest. Licking my lips nervously, I glanced up at the window as Nicholas walked purposefully toward me, his expression neutral. And then he saw the reflection, too, and stopped. He shook himself, then, with slower steps, continued walking. I looked at him as he drew next to me, saw the disbelief and ... and ... dammit, the fear in his eyes. He noticed the rose in my hand and gasped, then recovered, his gaze flicking to the CD in my hand.

“You like country? I -- I didn’t know that.”

I took a stilling breath and set the CD down. “Not particularly. I just ...” I held out the rose. “I brought this for you.”

He glanced over his shoulder to see if his boss was watching, I guess. He wasn’t.

Nicholas took a step closer to me, then reached out and took the rose, being careful not to touch me. He brought it to his face, closed his eyes, and inhaled. I watched him, fascinated by the tiny flare of his nostrils. He had such a cute nose, I noticed. I’d only paid attention to his lips before, but now I realized I loved his nose.

A small smile quavered across his lips. “It’s lovely,” he whispered, not looking at me.

My heart ached. “Nicholas, I’m sorry.”

He looked up at me, his eyes brimming. With an embarrassed grin, he pulled a Kleenex out of his pocket and wiped his eyes. “Sorry. I’ve been kind of an emotional wreck today.”

“So have I.”

“Oh, Brandon, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about ... about me and Karen. I’ll tell you everything, if you’ll just give me a chance --”

“She already did.”

He gaped at me in surprise. I nodded, smiling down at him.

“Nicholas, you helping that customer?” Charlie called.

He sucked in his breath and hid the rose. “Yes, I am. I’ll be right there, Charlie.” 264

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“All right, then. It’s almost closing time.”

“Yes, sir.”

Nicholas drew closer to me and laid one hand on the rack of CDs. His shoulder brushed mine, making me squirm. “This is a nice one,” he said, holding one up. I reached for it blindly, my fingers covering his. He gasped, but I ignored him, trailing my fingers up his hand, marveling at the paleness of his skin beneath my own. I curled my fingers around his wrist and felt his racing pulse. It matched mine.

“I lost my temper. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“You had every right.”

“But I scared you. I -- I don’t want to scare you, Nicholas. Ever.” He smiled, pressing his shoulder against mine and tilting his head toward me. “Karen said I deserved it.”

“She’s a neat girl. I can see why you love her.” His eyes widened at that. “You don’t mind?”

I took the CD from him and held his hand in mine, rubbing my thumb back and forth across his smooth skin. “I mind. A lot. But I’ll handle it.” I shrugged. “Besides, I like her.”

“She likes you, too.”

“Will you get a divorce now?”

He nodded. “Yes. I wish I could marry you.”

Nicholas. “I just want you to come home. Please.” He looked up at me. “You want me to?”

“Of course I do.” I want you so bad.

“I’d like that. You look so beautiful, Brandon. When I first realized it was you, my heart stopped beating, I swear it.” He reached up and touched my hair with the rose. “I like it.”

“Sprout’s idea,” I said sheepishly.

“And the rest of it?” he said, touching my buffed nails and running his other hand down my chest.

“Yes. She and Amanda and Jonathan kinda pinned me down and said I’d never get you back looking like a slob.”

“Get me back,” he echoed softly. “Oh, Brandon, you didn’t lose me. I thought I’d lost you.”

I looked over his shoulder -- no one was watching us. Charlie had disappeared. I reached up and touched his face, stroking his lower lip with my thumb. He blinked, his eyes wide as if he couldn’t believe I was touching him like this.

“I want to kiss you, Nicholas. Can I?” Please.

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“Is anybody watching?” His eyes shone.

“No.”

“So then kiss me,” he demanded.

With another quick glance, I made sure none of the few customers left were paying attention -- and then I tilted my head down and kissed him. A small groan escaped me as my lips touched his. He wrapped his hand around my hip, pushing against me, chortling happily as our hard-ons met.

“Oh, yes,” he said, breaking away. “Oh, Brandon.”

“How long before you’re free?” I asked, unable -- and not wanting -- to keep the need from my voice. I wrapped my hand around the back of his neck under his hair and stroked his ear with my thumb. He leaned his face into my hand, then turned his head and kissed my wrist. Tiny shockwaves cartwheeled straight to my groin. He grinned at my reaction. I dropped my hand -- if he kissed me there again, I’d lose it.

“Just have to close.”

“Good. I’ve got Jon’s car, and he and Amanda are staying at her place tonight. She cooked us supper. Spinach lasagna.”

He smiled coyly at me, touching my sleeve, then sniffed the rose again. “A rose, you all spiffed up, a romantic dinner for two? All for me?”

“Yes. All for you,” I said softly.

The happiness in his eyes nearly undid me. I kissed him again, but this time I forgot to check. After a long moment, I heard a throat clear. I jerked back and looked behind Nicholas, wincing. His boss stood right behind him.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t --”

Nicholas whirled around. “Charlie! We ... I ...” But Charlie burst out laughing and clapped Nicholas on the back. “So this must be the one you’ve been moping over all day.”

Nicholas grinned sheepishly. “Uh, yeah. This is him. Brandon, this is my boss, Greg.

But everyone calls him Charlie. Don’t ask why.” He paused. “Even I don’t know why.” I looked at him and smiled shyly, embarrassed. Charlie stuck his hand out. I took it, relieved to see he really wasn’t angry.

“I’m sorry about that,” I said as he released me.

“Don’t worry about it. You boys kissed and made up now, I hope?” Nicholas looked at me expectantly, hopefully. “I -- I think so.”

“We’re working on it,” I said. “We’ve got some talking to do first,” I said, remembering Karen’s suggestion.

Nicholas blushed. “I know. Let me finish up here and we’ll go.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll close up tonight,” Charlie said.

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“Are you sure?”

“I don’t mind waiting,” I said.

The door chimed. I looked up. It took me a moment to react, and when I did, I was stunned. “Adam --”

“What?” Nicholas whirled around. “What’s he doing here?”

“Is there a problem?” Charlie said, frowning.

“No, no, Adam’s Brandon’s brother,” Nicholas said, heading for him. He still carried the rose.

Charlie glanced at me. “It was nice to meet you, Brandon.”

“Nice to meet you, too, sir.”

Charlie chuckled. “Just take care of that boy. He’s like a son to me,” he said, eyeing me.

He glanced at Adam and frowned.

“I will. Thanks.”

Charlie nodded, then walked off, leaving me alone. Nicholas was talking to Adam. I walked up to them.

“What are you doing here?” Adam said to me. He scowled as he took in the fact that I wasn’t looking like his scruffy little brother for a change.

“Surfing,” I said sarcastically. “I’m here to pick up Nicholas. What does it look like?” Adam snorted. His gaze flicked to the CD in my hand. “Always knew country music was for queers.”

Punching Adam would’ve felt damn good about then. But I did nothing, said nothing, at Nick’s warning look. Adam took a folder from under his arm and shoved it at Nicholas.

“Here. Learn these by Tuesday.”

Nicholas took the folder and opened it, flipping through the music. “Good songs. But there’s at least twenty here. That’s an awful lot to learn by Tuesday.”

“What, you can’t handle it?”

He looked squarely at Adam. “Of course I can. But I won’t sing this song.”

“Why the fuck not? It’s a popular song. People want to hear it.”

“I won’t sing it.”

“And I say you will.”

“I don’t sing songs about war. Especially not that one.” Adam threw his hands up. “Oh, my God. Of all the stupid -- You’re such a fucking queer boy, Nicholas. Afraid of what mommy will think? Does she know you’re a fag? What does she think about that?”

Nick’s face paled. “Leave my mom out of this. I’ll sing the other songs, but not that one.

If you don’t like it, find another singer.”

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“There’s plenty of songs. It won’t be missed, Adam. Just drop it.” Adam sneered at me. “Fine, defend your fuck buddy over your own brother.” Charlie looked up at that, and the last customer stared at us. But Adam was oblivious even as Nicholas blushed in anger and humiliation.

He reached for the rose, but Nicholas jerked it away. “Brandon give you that? Aw, how sweet.”

“Cut it out, Adam,” I warned.

“You girls make me sick.” Adam pushed past Nicholas and headed for the door, then turned around and pointed at Nicholas. “You’d better have every song perfect, or you’re out.” Then he left.

Charlie walked up to us. I put my arm around Nicholas; the three of us watched Adam as he high-fived some guy I didn’t recognize and got into his car and left.

“Are you sure you two are related?” Charlie asked.

I swallowed. “I wonder sometimes. You don’t have to sing anything you don’t want to, Nicholas.”

“I won’t sing that song.”

“You won’t have to. I promise.”

Charlie cleared his throat. “Well, I’ve got to help this last customer, then close up. See you Monday, Nicholas.”

“Okay, Charlie, thanks.”

I knew that a real problem had sprung up between my brother and Nicholas. Adam had backed down for now, but this would come up again. And again, Adam insisting Nicholas sing that one damn song until one of them exploded. Or worse.

Sometimes I hated my brother.

I refused to let him ruin our evening, though. I reached out and touched the flower’s petals. “Hey, forget about him, okay? Let’s go --” I stopped, unable to finish as I looked into Nick’s troubled eyes. “Nicholas?”

He smiled wanly at me. “I’m sorry. You were saying something?”

“Yes. I was saying let’s go home.”

“Home?”

I nodded, then grasped him by his shoulders and pulled him to me. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Charlie lock the front door after the last customer, then tiptoe past us and disappear into the back, leaving us alone.

I moved my hands from Nick’s shoulders to cradle his face. I leaned in to him, brushing my lips across his, tasting him, willing away the last of his frustrated anger. He sighed into my mouth and shook himself once, like a dog would. He sighed again, then melted against 268

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me, and I wrapped my hands around his waist. His tongue slid into my mouth, and I answered back his gentle questing with my own.

The world fell away from us. His arms reached around me -- he still held the rose and the folder -- and pulled me close. A soft sob escaped him, and I pulled back and kissed the single tear that glistened on his cheek.

“Don’t cry, Nicholas,” I whispered.