A red tainted Silence (40 page)

“Thank you, Brandon. I’ll never take it out, I promise. I’ll get you another one, okay?”

“Okay. I’d like that.”

“How about a diamond?”

I chuckled against his chest. “Another hoop would be fine.”

“Oh, all right,” he muttered in disappointment. “What about an emerald? To match your eyes --”

“My eyes aren’t that green, Nicholas. No.”

“Fine, fine. A gold hoop, to match the one you gave to me.”

“Perfect.” I pressed my lips against his neck and suckled him in a spot only a turtleneck could hide. He tilted his head to the side and continued stroking my back, his fingers dipping around my butt and rimming me with his fingers, making me gasp against his neck. He didn’t stop. I thrust gently against him as I made my mark on him, losing myself for long minutes in the intimacy we were creating.

“You know something? I never thought I’d do this with you again, Brandon.” His breath came in small gasps; his heart pounded in his chest. I worried this was too much for him.

I pulled away from his neck and kissed him. “I know. Me, either.”

“It feels good, doesn’t it?” I heard the faint hint of worry in his voice, feeling a bit of sadness. Did he still doubt, even just a little, how I felt about him?

“Yes, yes, Nicholas, it feels good,” I whispered, kissing the hollow of his throat. He hissed as I scooted back on him, trailing kisses down his chest. He groaned, seizing me by the arms when my mouth sought and found one of his nipples.

I stroked it with my tongue until it hardened again, biting it gently, then following with another soothing lick. Not to be neglectful, I tended to his other one as well, making him flinch. I chuckled to myself as he sank his fingers into my bare shoulders.

“God, Brandon,” he said. “That feels so good. I love it when you --” He gasped as I attacked his nipple again. “Brandon! You know I like that?”

“Of course I know you like it, silly.”

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Nicholas arched his back beneath me, exposing his scarred side to the dim light. I kissed it, so damn sad that the perfection of his body was marred. Not that I cared -- no scar could change how I wanted him.

But I was keenly aware of just how fragile he was, despite the wanton way he squirmed beneath me, the way he whimpered as I took him in my hand. Thinking about how much time had passed since we were together like this last, and how different it was now, how preciously submissive he was, I just about cried.

“Brandon,” he ground out as I captured his mouth with mine, not wanting him to see suspicious tears. I pushed my way between his legs again, grinding my dick into his groin, an incredible thrill filling me as he pulled his legs up and, with a mock snarl, pushed the covers off and wrapped his legs around my waist.

His hands reached down to my backside as he pulled his legs up higher. I knew what he wanted. “I’m ready.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Brandon, wait. We don’t have any condoms,” he said in horror.

I froze. We stared at each other. “Fuck,” I said, closing my eyes in defeat.

“They tested us when we got here. We’re both negative.” A shudder ran though me. “Nicholas, it’s not right --”

“But it’ll be okay. This is you and me. Let’s do it. Please,” he added softly.

Logic warred with desire -- I’d had so many partners over the last year, I’d lost count.

But not in the last three months. But did that really matter? Was that enough time to be sure?

I didn’t want to take chances, not yet. Not with Nicholas.

“No. I don’t think it’s a good idea, Nick.”

“But ... but I want you. I want you inside me. I can’t wait any longer --” Then the door opened slightly. I yelped, grabbing the covers over us as a hand -- and thank heavens that’s all -- slid inside the doorway. Mutt’s hand. A hand that held a condom packet. I looked at Nicholas. Now he was grinning.

“Better than a Scout, our Mutt.”

Mutt chuckled from the other side of the door. “I’m here to serve in any way I can, Mr.

Kilmain.”

Heat seared my cheeks. I laid my head on Nick’s chest, but he burst out laughing.

“Bring it on in, Mutt.”

“Nicholas!” I said, yanking my head up. Heat burned my face.

Nicholas patted my cheek. “If he heard that, then he’s obviously heard every word we’ve said. Haven’t you, Mutt?”

“Your secrets are safe with me, Mr. Kilmain.”

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“See? Told you, Brandon. He’s the perfect bodyguard. Come on in, Mutt. We’re decent.

Sort of.”

I groaned in disbelief as Mutt stepped in, his gaze more or less averted from the sight of me lying quite cozily beneath the covers on top of Nicholas (guess that told him who the condom was for), far enough to toss the condom toward Nicholas. He caught it and expertly ripped the package open with his teeth. Mutt sidled out and closed the door again.

“Thanks, Mutt,” Nicholas called out.

“Welcome.”

I glared at Nicholas. “Dammit, Nicholas, he can hear everything!” I whispered hotly.

“Much less what he just saw --”

“He won’t tell anyone what’s going on.” He snickered. “Not that they don’t already know. Will you, Mutt?” he called out again.

“No need to worry, Mr. Kilmain.”

“Ah, heck, call me Nicholas.”

Another chuckle. “No need to worry, Nicholas.”

I started to protest. This was nuts. We’d be in our own place tomorrow. Then we could do whatever we wanted to, as long as we wanted to, and with no audience.

“Nicholas, I don’t think --”

My words died at the pleading look in his eyes, the flush of his cheeks. Dammit, I knew how it excited him, touched on that wild exhibitionistic side of his. After all, I was no stranger to his penchant for fucking in the most public places possible without getting caught (not that he cared on the few occasions when he did get caught). From a bathroom in a museum, to next to a room full of reporters waiting to interview us (did they wonder, any of them, why sometimes Nicholas came in so breathless yet higher than a kite, me so subdued, plain worn out by my lover and his frantic coupling, barely able to walk, much less talk?), to a subway station, an open park, in a theatre, even backstage right before a show. Or a break during.

Oh, yeah, how he’d loved that.

“Please, Brandon. I need you.”

I rested my forehead on his chest. Could I do this? Knowing that everyone -- the nurses, Mutt, Jeff, who knew who else -- knew what we were doing now, and that Mutt would hear everything? No way he’d step away from that door, and I didn’t want him to, of course, even though Nicholas could be quite, um, vocal, as I recalled.

I looked at Nicholas, at the hope in his eyes.

“What the hell,” I muttered.

“Yeah!” he said. He pressed the condom into my hand.

“Try to keep it down, though, at least a little?” 234

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“I promise I’ll try --”

I stretched up and brushed my lips across his, my excitement mounting as I crushed against him, plunging my tongue into his mouth. He gasped, then clasped my face with both hands, kissing me quickly, savagely, and desperately.

“Brandon,” he moaned as I covered his face with more kisses, loving the harshness of his cheeks on my lips -- I wanted to feel him hours later, everywhere and everyway that I could.

I pushed myself up again and put the condom on.

He watched, a smile on his face. “Perfect fit.”

“Yeah, right.” I wiggled my hips, making my dick bounce and making him laugh, then lay between his legs again.

“Go for it, Brandon. I’m ready.”

“Are you sure?”

He nodded. “Good to go. No prep necessary. Not for me, anyway.”

“Look at me, Nicholas,” I said. Our gazes locked. I started to moisten my fingers, but he grabbed me and guided them into his mouth. I moaned, startling us both as he sucked on my fingers, his tongue stroking them until they were good and wet. He released me with a smile.

I gave him a look that made him grin widely. Then I reached down and stroked the wetness he’d given me onto my dick. Eyes still locked with his, I entered him with my fingers. He gasped at the abrupt invasion, biting his lip as I pushed inside him.

“Now. I want you, Brandon. I’m ready.”

I pulled my fingers out and guided myself to his opening, not taking my eyes off his. I couldn’t believe how calm he was now -- it was all I could do not to immediately plunge into him. I trembled with the effort of holding back, my heart pounded in my chest, and despite the cold in the room, sweat moistened my skin.

I’m not a very patient man at times, and this was just about killing me.

But I would be patient. He’d never been anything else with me -- not after that first time -- always uncomplaining, making sure I was prepared, ready to accept him. He’d told me once he didn’t need the time I did to be ready, but until now I’d not tested his assertion.

“Are you ready?” At his nod, I pushed my dick into him a little ways, pausing as he gasped. Hot, so hot and tight inside. I groaned with the effort of holding back, closing my eyes to the incredible pressure as he squeezed me, then slowly relaxed.

“Tell me when --”

“Go on,” he said.

I did so, pushing harder into him, holding his legs up as I, using all the patience I could find within me, ever so slowly thrust my way in. He clutched at my shoulders; I paused, A Red-Tainted Silence

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catching my breath, searching his face to make sure he was okay. He was a little pale, his skin a little damp, as was mine, but he smiled.

“Deeper,” he said, clutching my butt now, pulling me tighter into him. He cried out.

“Can’t ...” He groaned, loud, excited, words bursting from him. “Brandon! Oh, God, yes, that feels so good, baby. Don’t stop!”

Mutt surely heard that.

And probably every nurse on the floor.

Ah, hell.

I smoothed his hair back from his face as I pushed myself in as far as I could. I couldn’t believe how incredible it felt, being inside Nicholas. Being on top of him. So hot and tight and slick, him totally open to me, so vulnerable, so strange, and so beautiful. And vocal. It excited me, I realized. I made him cry out like that.

Incredible.

I thrust into him, being as gentle as I could, but then I heard his breath catch. I stopped. “You okay?” I asked.

“Hurts a little, but I’m fine.”

I searched his face. He’d paled, his breath coming in too-quick gasps. “No, you’re not.”

“I’m fine --”

“No, Nicholas. I won’t risk hurting you. I’ll do it from behind.” He opened his mouth to protest, but slowly nodded. That was one promise we’d made to each other, after the first time he took me, that we never broke -- if one of us was hurting, we’d stop. I pulled out, then gently turned him over onto his stomach, shifting in the narrow bed to give him room. He looked over his shoulder at me as, my hand on his hip, I positioned myself behind him and threaded my bottom arm underneath his head.

“I’ve got a big butt, don’t I?” he said. “Big head, big butt, compared to you.” I rolled my eyes at him. Talk about random “It’s all perfect. You’re perfect. Hush now,” I admonished when he opened his mouth to say something else. His butt was perfect, to me.

“Big dick, too.”

I laughed and smacked him on said big butt. “I said hush. You talk too much.” I pulled his leg up, found his opening again with my fingers, making him gasp, and then pushed my dick in. He reared his head back against my shoulder, panting with the effort of accepting my invasion into his body, but taking me in one steady push.

“Brandon, I’m not sure -- I can’t --”

“Shh, try to relax,” I whispered.

I held still, kissing his neck, then stroked his side in encouragement. I sought and found one of his hands, curling my fingers into his. He pressed his face against my arm, 236

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taking deep breaths to calm himself, but just as I feared he couldn’t take it this way either and I’d have to pull out again, he began to move against me.

I arched my hips into his backside, pushing in that slow, deliberate rhythm we’d found countless times in the past. But never, ever, had it been so sweet, because this was the first time I’d ever done it like this with Nicholas.

I liked it. A lot.

I covered his dick with my hand, my fingers grazing over his leaking head and swirling around the moisture. Then I gripped him firmly, stroking him into my pace. He groaned into the pillow, shuddering at my touch, but not losing his rhythm. We moved slowly like that for an eternity, yet for far too short of a time.

“I don’t want this ever to end,” I said.

“I don’t ... either. Brandon?”

I chuckled. “Yes?”

“Should’ve done this ...” He sighed, closed his eyes. “... long ago.” He gasped, his eyes shooting open. “Oh, no, not yet,” he whispered. “Damn.” And then he came in my hand, his inner muscles contracting on me so hard I had no choice but to join him. I buried my face against his damp neck, shuddering as the last convulsive waves rolled through us both. I released him, then stroked my hand, sticky with his seed, up his chest and pulled him tighter against my own. I couldn’t move for a moment, didn’t want to, ever, but slowly awareness came back to me when Nicholas shivered and I realized my arm was trying to go to sleep.

With a sigh I eased out of him. He didn’t move, just clutched his pillow and pulled it under his head when I slipped my arm out from beneath him. I disposed of the condom, vowing soon, real soon, we’d do it raw, and I’d fall asleep inside him. I smiled to myself. I reached for the covers and pulled them over him, kissing him tenderly on the shoulder, making him smile.

I pulled back. He looked at me, eyes wide. “Where you going?”

“Just want to grab a towel. Be right back, ’kay? You hungry?” He nodded. “Starved.”

“I imagine. I’ll see what we can do about that. Mutt?” I called out, earning a giggle from Nicholas.

From the other side of the door, “Yes, Mr. Ashwood?”

“Just Brandon’s fine. Do you think you could get someone to bring us something to eat?” I looked at Nicholas expectantly.