A red tainted Silence (21 page)

But he kissed my thumb, shaking his head, reading my mind again. “That’s enough. Just the way you say my name, that’s enough for me.”

“Why did you leave the music store?” This was a crazy time to be talking about this, but I had to know.

“I freaked out. I’d messed up the audition and never heard from you. I’d hoped -- I’d hoped that I would hear from you.”

“Adam tore up your resume. I didn’t know where you were.”

“And you were sick, too, I know. Then I saw the flyer on a car, just as I was walking up to Harrison’s. And then there you were inside.” He shook his head. “I don’t know. Stupid, I guess, to react that way, but all I could do was stand there and watch you. So handsome, so talented. The expression on your face --”

“You could see my face?”

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“You closed your eyes. And then you played my song ... and I bolted.” He shook his head, pressing his lips together. “I clearly wasn’t thinking.”

“Andy told me where you were.”

“And then, there you were.” The look of wonder I’d seen at the bookstore suffused his face. “I couldn’t believe it. I’d been kicking myself for the past half-hour for being so stupid, but I had the flyer and fully intended to call you the next morning. But then I saw you in my audience. A beautiful golden vision looking at me, spilling your Coke for me, getting hard for me in a roomful of people, and I nearly did the fainting then. I knew then for sure you were the one I’d been waiting for. You were like an angel sitting there, drawing my words from me. I could see the music to my words in your eyes, Brandon. You had no instrument, but I could see the music in your eyes.”

My face heated, and I was grateful it was too dark for him to see. The way he had with words stunned me. He laughed, falling over me before pulling back and looking down at his boxers.

“I still have these things on?” he said, then popped out of the bed to yank them off.

He did it so fast I couldn’t see a thing, but then he lay on top of me, gently easing my legs apart so he could lie between them. He squirmed into position and laid his head on my chest. I was speechless, struck dumb by the sensations roiling through me -- Nicholas naked between my legs; Nick’s skin, still warm from his shower and tickly against my own; Nick’s hardened dick pressed against my own.

All talking ceased.

His mouth snared mine again as his hand reached between us, capturing both our shafts and pushing them together. I opened my legs wider, wrapping them around his hips and then sliding them down again, curling my toes. I couldn’t hold still. I moaned into his mouth as he stroked me, his hips grinding against me while I slowly pumped into his hand. I clutched his shoulders, digging my fingers into his skin. The pleasure-pain brought a soft cry from deep inside him, and he moved harder against me, his mouth crushing me with such driving need I felt swallowed whole.

There was nothing vulnerable or shy about this Nicholas. His mouth explored mine, then moved to plant kisses along my jaw line. He captured my earlobe in his teeth and softly growled in my ear, making me smile. He was the one in command of what was happening between us, and I succumbed to him willingly, all my earlier fears of not being good enough for him gone.

I smoothed my hands down his back and clutched his backside as he explored my chest with his tongue, his lips, his teeth. Tiny nips that made me cry out and arch beneath him. He was heavier than me, his weight pressing me down into the mattress. All pain from my head was forgotten as he rammed his hips into mine, his dick into mine, over and over again as the friction between us built up higher and higher, bringing us both to the edge of something that I had never really thought possible.

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I couldn’t hold on much longer, didn’t want to, wanted it to last forever. Wanted his weight on me forever, to feel his lips, the frantic kisses, the slick warmth of his body overtaking mine.

“Oh, God, Brandon,” he whispered.

“I’m close, I’m close,” I said as I clutched his back. I couldn’t believe this was happening. My dick was so hot against his that I felt on fire.

“Brandon!” he cried out and pulled his mouth to mine, smothering the cries he couldn’t stop as he came with a final, rippling surge. I reached down to his butt and held on as wave after wave ripped through him, and then I arched back with a gasp as my own explosion ricocheted through me.

“Look at me, Brandon, look at me.”

I did as he commanded, though his face was shadowed in the dark. My own was not.

“Beautiful, so beautiful,” he murmured.

Down, down, down we came, Nick’s face buried against my shoulder, his hand reaching for mine and clasping it tight. Our chests heaved from our efforts, and I pulled him tighter, kissing him on his damp forehead.

“You okay?” he asked, kissing my neck, my flushed shoulders.

“Yeah. I don’t feel anything. I feel everything.” He laughed softly into my shoulder at that, started to ease off, but I clutched him tight.

“I’m smooshing you,” he said.

“Smooshing? No, it feels good. You feel good.”

He pulled up and looked down at me then, grinding his hips against me. “Ready to go again?”

I smacked him on the butt. “Sure.” His eyes widened in surprise, and I laughed. “Just kidding. I don’t think I can move anymore.”

“Me, either.” He eased off me anyway, and I sighed at the loss of his body. I watched as he went into the bathroom, smiling in appreciation of his illuminated backside.

I couldn’t believe what had just happened. Nicholas Kilmain was mine. Or maybe, rather, I was his. And it was just the beginning, I knew -- there was so much I wanted to do with him. Be done to by him. More intimate things than what had already happened between us.

I wanted him inside me.

The thought made me shudder with desire. I wanted him. Oh, yeah, I wanted him again, at least in my mind. I don’t think my body could’ve handled another go round just yet.

Or my head, in which the pain was still making its presence known.

He came back with a towel in his hand.

“Stop right there.”

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He stopped, surprised at my command. “What’s wrong?” I grinned, my eyes drinking in the sight of him, naked in the moonlight. “Just looking.”

“Brandon,” he admonished, then returned to the bed and cleaned me up. “Is your head really okay?”

“Yeah. I don’t feel much pain now. At least, not that I can’t handle.”

“Good.” He tossed the towel aside and burrowed under the covers with me. I turned on my side facing away from him, sighing in stunned contentment as he curled against me and kissed me between the shoulder blades. He wrapped his arm around me, tucking his hand into mine.

“It’s already almost two. I should go back to my room.” I didn’t want him to go. Not yet anyway. “In a little while. I want to lie with you like this a little longer. I’ve waited for this for so long,” I said, then winced at my admission.

In answer he pulled himself closer to me, then kissed me on the back of my neck. “I’m not going anywhere, Brandon. I’m glad you waited for me, though.” I smiled into the darkness. “Me, too.”

That’s how my dad found us later that morning, fast asleep, naked and curled in each other’s arms.

* * * * *

“Earth to Brandon. Come in, Brandon.”

I looked up from my laptop to find Nicholas looking down at me. “What are you doing out of bed?” Mutt sat in the corner reading a newspaper. I glanced at the door. It was open, and Jeff leaned against the doorjamb with his hands in his pockets, seemingly lost in thought.

A man in a suit walked past the door and looked inside. One stern glance from Jeff, and the man hurried on.

“A guy’s gotta pee, you know. What’s with the goofy grin?” I closed my laptop and set it aside, then stood and pulled Nicholas to me while balanced on my good foot. I kissed him. “I was just writing about our first time.”

“The first time I took you in the butt?”

“Nicholas!” I said, pulling back and glancing frantically at Jeff. If he noticed, he didn’t let on. The guy was really good at ignoring certain things, which I appreciated. “No, not that time.”

Nicholas grinned. “Ah, the skull-banging incident, then.”

“Yeah. I still can’t believe that happened.”

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“I didn’t mean to scare you, you know.”

“I know. Need help?” I said, releasing him.

He shook his head and smirked. “No, I think I can handle this one on my own.” Nevertheless, I followed him on my crutches as he made his way slowly to the bathroom. As he entered, I stood outside and leaned against the door.

“I wish I knew what I was dreaming that set me off like that.”

“I’m sure it wasn’t about me,” he called through the door.

“No, that was earlier.”

I heard the flush, then the running of water as Nicholas washed his hands. Then the sound of teeth brushing. I peeked inside, and he turned to me and grinned, showing his teeth to me. “Nothing better,” he said.

“If you say so.”

“Believe me, after six weeks of no toothbrush, this is heaven.” He shuffled out of the bathroom. I couldn’t help but note the pallor of his skin as he returned to his bed. “But it also wears me out,” he admitted as he collapsed onto the bed. He pulled his legs up and laid one hand across his eyes. I sat in the chair next to him, crossing my cast-foot over the other. “You know something, Brandon? There’s something I never told you.”

“What’s that?”

“About that night.” He dropped his arm and looked at me, a sly grin on his face.

I tensed. “What about that night?”

His eyes sparkled with mischief. “I never told you -- I knew.”

“Knew what?” I said, feigning innocence.

“You wanked off right before I got there, didn’t you.” I crossed my arms over my chest, keenly aware of the twinkle in Mutt’s eye. “You’re telling me you’ve never wanked off?”

“Of course I have. But the point is, you did it that night and you didn’t know I knew.”

“I kinda suspected it, Nicholas. When you touched my butt and giggled.”

“I didn’t giggle. It was a good thing you were asleep -- wait, you weren’t asleep, were you?”

“Nope. Not then.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I was embarrassed.”

“You did wank off because of me, though, didn’t you?”

“Well, of course I did.”

“Good. Sure didn’t slow you down later, at least.” A Red-Tainted Silence

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“Can we talk about something else?” I glanced at Mutt, then at Jeff. He’d folded his arms across his chest and continued his blank-stare thing.

“You started this conversation, not me. I know what we can talk about.” I sat on the edge of his bed. “And what would that be?” He settled back against his pillows, his expression sobering. “What we’re going to do next. I want to leave here, Brandon. But I’m scared to go back home. I’m scared to go anywhere. What if he finds us? Whoever it is?”

I took a deep breath. This had been on my mind, too. Flying to California was out of the question. I didn’t want to go to his home in New York. I wanted to cocoon somewhere, somewhere safe, until he was stronger. But where? Whoever was behind all this would expect us to do something soon, go somewhere.

He would follow.

At the door, Jeff dropped his arms. “You can’t come in here,” he said.

“Who is it?” Nicholas asked.

A voice that I hadn’t heard in too long to believe said, “Hey, you big brute, I’m part of the family!”

“Tommy!” Nicholas cried. “Jeff, he’s okay! Tommy!” Our former bandmate entered the room, grinning sheepishly. He held a bunch of flowers in his hand. Looking around at the profusion of flowers already in Nick’s possession, he sighed. “Damn. Thought I was being original.”

“Get over here and give me a hug,” Nicholas crowed.

Tommy flicked his gaze at me and smiled tentatively. “Hey, Brandon,” he said, but then was swooped into Nick’s arms. He closed his eyes and hugged Nicholas tight, nearly whomping him on the head with the flowers. Tommy buried his face in Nick’s neck, grasped the back of his head in a fierce hug, then pulled back and kissed him on the cheek. “Damn you, Nicholas, it’s good to see you.” He wiped his face and laughed nervously. “Look at me, making a fool of myself.”

“I don’t care. It’s so good to see you. Why are you here?” Nicholas lay back in his bed, indicating Tommy should sit. I stood, taking his flowers and setting them on Nick’s tray.

“Thanks,” Tommy said to me, then looked away again.

“No problem.”

“I came to see you. What’dya think? Sam’s here, too. He’s parking the rental.”

“Sam, too?” Nick’s grin was miles wide. “I can’t believe it.”

“Well, we would’ve been here sooner, but the damn blizzard kept us in Denver for two days.”

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They fell into talking about this and that. I sat back and stayed out of the conversation, feeling my old unease start to surface. Nicholas glanced at me now and again, beaming at me in his happiness. I smiled back, though I felt more like I should just get up and leave.

When I’d quit the band, Tommy had been furious. We’d come to blows, he and I. His fierce loyalty to Nicholas wasn’t unknown to me, but I’d thought he of all people would understand. He had a girlfriend he’d had to leave behind to travel, and he’d missed her terribly.

But he hadn’t understood, seeing my quitting as a betrayal of Nicholas. Of course, it was, though the true reasons were never known to Tommy. Things had never been the same between us since. I know he probably wondered what the fuck I was doing, jacking around in Nick’s life again. I didn’t blame him, not really.

I wondered if he’d seen anything on the press conference yet.

“Hey, hey, look who’s here.”

I bit back a groan as Sam entered the room, holding a huge teddy bear. “Brandon!” he said, walking around to my side of Nick’s bed and shaking my hand. “Good to see you, man.

You look great.” He patted my cheek. “Put on some weight finally.”

“Good to see you, too, Samuel,” I said, standing. I pulled my crutches under my arm and moved aside. “Have a seat.”