A Mother's Guide to Raising Healthy Children--Naturally (8 page)

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Authors: Sue Frederick

Tags: #Health & Fitness, #Women's Health, #test

BOOK: A Mother's Guide to Raising Healthy Children--Naturally
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Page 38
Many parents today say they don't want to indoctrinate their children into a particular religion or form of spirituality. I disagree. Our culture indoctrinates children to focus on material possessions and to doubt the existence of anything beyond what they can see. The early years provide an opening for a child's natural spirituality to blossom. Their belief in God is so honest that it has helped many a parent reconnect with God. It is essential to nurture the awareness that we are sacred and that God exists; if you never believed as a child, it's a long, difficult road to finding God when you're older.
Share your beliefs with your child about why we are here and who we really are. If you don't believe in God, discuss that as well. Open the doors for their own explorations into spirit. You may learn something from them. Children are very much in touch with the divine. They can heal your spiritual pain by sharing their insights with you.
There are many ways of inspiring and fostering the divine in children. Here are the thoughts of a diverse group of people who have been successful in doing just that.
Jeffrey Bland, Ph.D., nutritional biochemist, CEO of HealthComm International, Gig Harbor, Washington. Now that my "children" are thirty, twenty-seven, and seventeen, from what they have told me, the biggest contribution they received in spiritual training as children was the time we shared, starting at about age seven for each of the boys, hiking together in wilderness areas. They have all commented that these experiences and the many discussions we had at night on the trail deeply imprinted a feeling of sacredness, spirituality, and a sense of something bigger than they were. I think my takeaway is: have experiences in nature with your child and celebrate the beauty of the world in which we live and the spirit we feel as part of it.
Lara Pizzorno, master's in divinity, researcher, health writer, and mother of one son. This is such a personal area, I'd guess loving parents have many different viewpoints about it. As Christ said, "My father's house has many mansions." Anyway, here's my take on it. Spirituality is perhaps the most individual and unique aspect of each of us. A child's spirituality is, in many senses, closer to a real understanding of the Absolute than an
 
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adult's, which has been layered over with the accretions of socialization, organized religion, and history, both personal and cultural. As Wordsworth put it in the poem "Intimations of Immortality," "Not in utter nakedness do we come from God who is our home, but trailing clouds of glory." For me, the first rule of the spiritual relationship I share with my son is to respect and value his spirit. His spiritual insights are often purer and more transcendent than mine are. He is not locked into what is, but is still able to freely envision what could be. It is my belief that fortunately, for the human race, our children are not little spiritual replicas of their parents, but fully fledged, autonomous beings. So what can a parent do to help nurture and protect a child's closeness to God? The exact actions depend upon what the parent is able to give and what the child is willing to receive. What I try to do is live my principles, integrate my faith into my daily actions, pray, be thankful for the many gifts with which we are showered every daythe beauty of nature, the love of my family, work I value, the fun of sharing our lives with pets, the joy of playing the piano or learning new thingsand to share this with my son. When I make choices of any consequence, they are always based on a spiritual foundation, and I try to explain how it is operative in my choice to my son. When I feel wonder or thankfulness or joy, I prayusually a silent prayer of thanks, but I share the fact that I am praying and why with my son. I try to go to church services at least every other week, and Galen often comes with me. When we are faced with difficulties or sadness, I try to think it through using my faith, and I try to share my thought process with my son. I also listen to his. And I try to answer his questions about spirit, life's meaning, God, to the best of my ability. I always preface anything I say with "This has been my experience,'' or "In my life, this has been proven true to me." And I always tell him he needs to test my insights and beliefs against his, keep what he finds to be true, and trust his own spirit and relationship with Godthat his understanding will deepen and expand as his life experiences and challenges provide him with the lessons he needs to learn. Finally, when I tuck him in at night, I always tell him to rest well and be at peace, that God loves him and so do I.
Janet Zand, L.Ac., O.M.D, N.D., author of
Smart Medicine for a Healthier Child.
My husband and I have two sons, Aubrey, who is on his way to college next year, and Michael, who is five. When Aubrey was very young,
 
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both his mother and father were staunch atheists. I met my stepson Aubrey when he was seven, and I was pleasantly surprised to learn that despite his parents' beliefs, he had developed into a young Taoist. At eighteen years old, he reads books about Eastern religion and through discussion with family has developed his own belief system with all the sophistication and subtlety of a person much older than his years. Like many five-year-old children, Michael has a passionate interest in God. He asks where God is, what He looks like, does He have friends, if you go to heaven will He be there, who else will you see, will there be angels, will he himself become an angel, is it a good idea to die so you can become a flying angel? Given that we have never formally discussed any of these concepts, it fascinates me that he has a grasp of this. I can only assume from all of this that children have innate spirituality. Perhaps it is the recentness of their experience with the Divine, their birth, I don't know. What is clear to me is that children do not need to be indoctrinated or coerced into spirituality. They naturally know it, feel it, live it. Generally, children simply need to be nurtured in the direction that they are already taking. As adults we can learn a lot about spirituality by witnessing our children.
Elizabeth Bertani, writer and consultant in the natural products industry for more than ten years. I raised my children to have a sense of spirituality and connection to God and the universe without belonging to a formal religion or following a guru or teacher. When my children were very young, we said the "Now I lay me down to sleep" prayer each night, and I talked to them about the protection of angels. Mostly we talked about the many ways one communicates with God, and that spirituality was based on the basic virtues of kindness, tolerance, and generosity. I tried to show by example that how one lives one's life is more important than a specific form. Each was free to choose a religious or spiritual practice, if so inclined. Experiencing each of my children as wonderful, caring adults and now as parents has assured me that each has a powerful sense of spirituality. I'm very pleased with their unique paths.
Jackie Roos, Florida public school teacher, Transcendental Meditation teacher, and mother of one. Basically, we feel we have nurtured Gillian's spirituality by first and foremost trying to be good examples to her. Children must see by their parents' behavior that they are actually living the
 
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universal principles of all the great religions: compassion, generosity, nonviolence in speech and action. Secondly, we believe meditation is the keystone of a spiritual life, and from the time she has been a toddler, she has seen us meditating consistently morning and evening. Other than this, the three of us have had many conversations about God and ways to live a spiritual life in the midst of this complicated world. Finally, we have exposed her to Hinduism, Buddhism, and Christianity. We have built what we hope is a firm foundation, and from this, when she is ready, we think she will choose a path that feels right for her.
Heidi Dorfmeister, Montessori preschool teacher for more than twenty-five years and founder/owner of a Minnesota Montessori school. My son Jake [nine] is very spiritual: he likes to pray, talk about God, read Bible stories. Mitch [twelve] is somewhat agnostic. He talks about God when he needs something. I have a couple of theories. One is that Mitch identifies with David, my husband, who is cynical toward religion. Jake identifies with me. Jake has a personality that is introspective and deeply sensitive. Mitch questions everything and rejects most everything. I think a child's spirituality comes from the parents' guidance. Jake shows a sensitivity and interest in things spiritual, so we talk more about it. I think you have to set an example of being a "good" person in words and deeds, deeds being the most important. It is definitely something that needs to be addressed. We seem to be having a spiritual crisis going on.
Laxmi (Faith Stone), meditation teacher at Shoshoni Yoga Retreat in Rollinsville, Colorado, wife of Swami Shambhavananda, and mother of a six-year-old. Living spiritually is, to me, not about following abstract esoteric ideals but about having practical forms of living love in your life. Two of my favorite verses are "God is Love" from the Bible and "Kindness is my religion" from the Dalai Lama of Tibet.
If I were to summarize the little things I do to encourage spirituality in my daughter, it would include the following items:
1.  
Live it yourself
A woman saint from India, Shree Maa, often tells children, "The mother is the first Guru, then the father." Parents are so very important to a young child. When young children see their parents practicing devotion, meditation, chanting, and mantra, and
 
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when they sense love and devotion for God in the parents, the love in their own hearts is easily kindled. Young children are so much closer to purity, love, and devotion. It seems to come naturally for them. At our ashram, we have the children help with the
arati
[singing and dancing in devotion to the gods]. The joy, simplicity, and sweetness in their
arati
is very moving for everyone. Sometimes Tara bubbles over with joy and starts doing a "fancy footwork" to her dancing; other times she will just stop and stare at Ganesh (the elephant-headed Hindu god, who removes obstacles on the spiritual path) or one of the other gods. Then she'll remember where she is and start dancing again.
2.  
Practice it every day, and read spiritual stories to children, including stories about saints.
With my daughter, I make spirituality a natural part of our day as well as an area of special emphasis. We meditate together daily and close every day with evening prayers and a chant of love to God. On a recent family outing to the beach, Tara and I made a Shiva
lingham
[statue] from the sand, did a mini
puja
[devotional ceremony] of saying "Om Namah Shivaya" and offering flowers. Then Tara gave the
lingham
a bath and he dissolved back into the sand. Tara said, "We made the biggest Shiva
lingham
in the world-well, at least it's the biggest one on the beach." Her dad started doing this with her when she was about four. Instead of making sand castles, they would make Shiva together (sometimes they make sand castles, too). We always read stories together before she goes to bed. Stories about the lives of Hindu and Buddhist gods and saints are some of our favorites. She loves to read about Baby Krishna and all the mischief he would get into. It seems reassuring to her that even Krishna, who was an incarnation of Vishnu, sometimes got into trouble. In addition, so many children's books are filled with tales of true friendship, loyalty, love, and kindness, which are all spiritual values. We are careful about what television shows she watches, and her dad, her auntie, or I usually sit with her when she watches a program or video. A parent can help a child pick out the good qualities in people and why they are admirable and, likewise, why we don't want to be like the nasty people. We avoid her exposure to violence of any kind, and, again, living this is very important. We don't hit, spank, or use physical violence against children. We

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