A Measure of Love (27 page)

“Things are good. The place is doing really well,” Riley offered, glancing surreptitiously at his father.

“That’s great, son,” Joan said. “Isn’t it, Park?”

Park grunted and sipped his juice. He looked so much better than he had when he’d first come out of the hospital. He had more color and appeared to have regained his broad shoulders. Riley was sure that it was only because Park could sit up properly now, but it was reassuring all the same.

“I’m taking Noah to the zoo tomorrow,” Riley said in an attempt to change the subject. “Just the two of us.” Riley had been shocked as all hell when Lexie said she’d leave them to spend the day together. He was nervous, but so damned excited.

Joan grinned, and Riley saw a small twitch at the corner of Park’s mouth. “That’s fantastic, Riley,” his mother cooed. “Maybe I can see him before you go? Lexie came over while you were in New York.”

Riley dipped his chin. Lexie had mentioned it on the phone but hadn’t gone into details. “And? You hear what you needed to?”

Joan tilted her head a little to the side. “Your father and I don’t need to hear anything, Riley, other than to know you’re all right.”

Riley sat back. “I’m okay. You know me. Everything slides right off.” It wasn’t the complete truth; he was still trying to clear his head and decide what he wanted to do in terms of the whole Lexie situation, but he didn’t want his parents worrying. “I’ll ask Lex about bringing Noah over.”

Joan clapped her hands. “This deserves something a little stronger than juice.”

“I can’t drink,” Park grumbled.

“That’s why you’ll be having a nonalcoholic drink,” Joan retorted before she stood and hurried into the house. Riley smiled after her, shaking his head. He looked back at his father, catching his eye.

“You could meet him, too, if you like.”

Park cleared his throat, looking toward the sky. “Okay.”

It was one word, but it was progress. “How’s the shop doing, Dad? They coping without you?” The question was meant to be in good humor, but it brought a frown to Park’s face.

“They’re fine,” he answered.

Before Riley could needle him further, Joan appeared with a tray of glasses filled with something that looked suspiciously like white wine. She handed them out and tapped the edge of her glass to theirs. “It’s good to have you back so regularly, Riley,” she said softly.

“Thanks, Mom,” he replied. He tapped his glass to Park’s. “Cheers, Dad.”

Park simply nodded and lifted his glass-holding hand minutely.

The following morning, Riley pulled up outside Lexie’s store with Noah’s presents wrapped in Batman paper. The bell above the door signaled his arrival and several heads turned in his direction.
Two women not five feet away from him smiled and fluttered their lashes, but his attention was drawn to the beautiful blonde behind the cash register, smiling at the customer in front of her as she placed her purchase in a box and then into a bag.

Riley approached slowly, watching Lexie as she worked, warmed by the happiness she exuded. It was obvious how much she reveled in what she did. He figured it should have bothered him how much seeing her again after a few days made his lungs feel clearer, but honestly, Riley was sick of thinking about it. There were some things that would never change, and he couldn’t simply forget how he’d felt about Lexie for so long. Christ, she was the mother of his son, which was, itself, just about the sexiest, most precious thing he could ever imagine. He watched her smile and chat with her customer, her face animated and beautiful, her lips, so soft and plump, stretching with each smile.

He leaned his hip against one of the glass cabinets and allowed his mind to wander, remembering the taste of her lips on his, the feel of her mouth, how she could practically bring him to his knees with one kiss. Did he miss kissing her? Of course. It had always been one of his favorite things, but he knew what one touch of her lips would do to him: he’d be lost all over again, and he couldn’t let that happen. Her blue eyes met his and, once she’d said her good-byes to her customers, Lexie walked around the counter toward him.

“Hey,” she murmured as she got closer.

“Hey.”

“It’s good to see you.”

“You too.”

“Noah’s waiting for you upstairs with Jaime,” she said, rubbing her hands down the front of the top she was wearing. “You’re free to go up and get him. Do you want me to show you?”

“I’ll manage.” He made his way to the back of the store, through the door, and up the stairs to the apartment above. He knocked
and waited, grinning when he heard Noah thumping about and calling for Jaime to open the door.

The door opened and Noah flung himself at Riley, who gave a whopping
oomph
when the small body connected with him. “You’re here!” Noah exclaimed as Riley picked him up.

“Of course, I said I would be.” Riley’s throat tightened when Noah wrapped his small arms around his neck.

“And we’re going to the zoo?”

“We sure are. Are you ready?”

“No!” Noah yelled, wriggling in Riley’s hold until Riley placed him back on the floor. “I needs my shoes.” He dodged Jaime, who was still standing with the door open, and disappeared into the apartment.

“Don’t forget your teddy, and put your shoes on the right feet!” she called after him. “He’s talked about nothing else,” she told Riley with a small smile. “He’s so excited.”

It was as if his heart grew three times bigger, like the fucking Grinch’s, at those words. Noah quickly reappeared, shoes on the correct feet and clutching a plush Chewbacca that Riley was suddenly a little jealous of. Noah took Riley’s hand and they made their way back down to the store. Lexie turned from adjusting the Post-its on the mirrored wall and grinned at them both. She bent down and opened her arms for Noah, who hugged her hard.

“Be good for Riley,” she told him, kissing his cheek. “Hold his hand, don’t get lost, and—”

“I’ll bes good, Mommy,” Noah insisted.

Lexie glanced up at Riley in a way that said “see how like you he is” before standing up and retrieving Noah’s car seat and a bag from behind the counter. “Have a great day,” she said as she passed them to him. “I’ve already put sunscreen on him, but there’s more in the bag and a change of clothes because you never know and—Will you be okay?”

Riley nodded. “We’ll be fine.”

Lexie blinked, appearing contrite. “Of course, sorry. I . . . Just call me if you . . . Just, have fun.”

“I’ll look after him, Lex.”

Lexie sighed. “I know you will.”

“Come on, Riley!” Noah called from his place by the store door.

“I’m coming, buddy.”

In the car, with the car seat fitted and Noah fastened into it, Riley gave him his presents. He’d never seen such enthusiasm as Noah applauded and laughed at the Spider-Man picture.

“I’ll put this picture on mys wall!” he cried as he simultaneously clung to his Empire State Building gift.

The little boy chattered about everything as Riley drove them to the zoo. Lexie was right; he was
very
smart. He took everything in and, despite his young age, had an opinion and comment about all of it. He was hysterical and more than a little adorable as he pointed out the park where they’d had ice cream and a building that turned out to be where he’d attended day care. He explained to Riley that he could count to twenty, and then demonstrated with only a couple of mistakes, as well as describing in detail how he was going to school at the end of summer because he was “a big boy.” Riley could have listened to him all day.

“Do you has kids?” Noah asked after a brief second of quiet.

Riley startled, curious as to where the question had come from. How the fuck was he supposed to answer that? “Um, I, well, it’s . . . why do you ask?”

Noah kicked his small feet up and down as he kept his stare out of the car window. “You coulds bring them to my mommy’s house. I coulds play with them.”

Riley’s chest squeezed. “Well, I was thinking that maybe you’d like to come to
my
mommy’s house and play for a little while later.”

Noah’s head snapped toward Riley. “I can?”

“Of course. After the zoo we’ll go. That sound good?”

Noah’s reply was simple; he threw his arms into the air and cheered.

Riley’s experience of the zoo with Noah was vastly different from when he’d visited the place before. Seeing the animals through the eyes of a four-year-old was fascinating and ignited a fervor within Riley that he hadn’t felt since before Joan had called to tell him about his father being in the hospital. Noah pointed to the lions and giraffes, trying his best to pronounce their names and asking Riley question after question:
Why are their necks long? Can I feed it? Will it eat me? Can I ride it?
He dragged Riley around, wanting to see everything, which Riley was happy to do, and shit got a little dicey only when Noah began jiggling, needing to go pee. Riley helped as much as Noah allowed him to and they both survived.

They ate ice cream, and Riley bought Noah a plush elephant and a blue kids’ T-shirt that had the face of a lion on it and read “I had a roaring good time.” Seeing the delight on Noah’s face was enough to convince Riley that he would spend the rest of his life doing what he could to keep his son happy. And it was the simple things that seemed to work the best, like when Riley carried him on his shoulders around the zoo, or when he lifted Noah carefully onto the railings and held him tightly so he could see the penguins better. Having Noah look up at him as though Riley was the best thing ever caused a buzz the likes of which Riley had never felt before.

“What a beautiful boy,” an older woman commented from Riley’s side as he watched Noah run around the kids’ play area.

Riley smiled. “Thank you.”

“Are you a single dad?”

Riley cocked an eyebrow, shocked by the stranger’s question. “No,” he answered as Noah ran toward him with a wide grin. “His mom is working today.”

“That’s so nice,” the woman replied, watching Noah laugh and
charge in circles around Riley. “Too many dads don’t make enough effort with their kids. I know my ex-husband never did with ours.”

Riley vowed on the spot to never be that way with Noah, or any other kids he had in the future. Noah would always come first, no matter what. As the day continued, Riley took picture after picture of his son on his cell phone, even sending Lexie a couple. His favorite was of Noah with the plush elephant in hand and chocolate ice cream all around his mouth. The sheer glee of the day could be seen on every inch of the small boy’s face, and Riley fell even further in love with him. There was no point in fighting it; Riley was a goner.

By the time Riley pulled up outside his parents’ house and unclipped and lifted Noah from his car seat, it was mid-afternoon.

“This is yours house?” Noah asked as they walked up the path holding hands.

“No. This is my mommy’s house,” Riley explained. Apparently, in all the zoo excitement, Noah had forgotten their plan. “Remember? We’re gonna hang here for a while.”

Noah smiled a little but held his elephant closer. Riley paused and crouched down, meeting Noah at eye level. “Your mommy said it would be okay.”

“Is Mommy heres?”

“No,” Riley answered, feeling that maybe this wasn’t the best idea. He certainly didn’t want Noah to feel anxious. “But my mommy is. She’s called Joan. My daddy is called Park.”

Noah tilted his head. “You has a daddy?”

Riley swallowed. “Yeah, man. They’re both really excited to meet you.”

Noah’s eyes enlarged. “They knows me coming?”

Riley nodded. “Sure.” He pulled him closer, loving the smell of him. “You okay?”

Noah dipped his chin. “They has toys?”

“I’m sure we could find something.”

The front door opening brought Riley standing to his full height.
He was surprised to see his father in the doorway and not his mom. “I thought I saw a car pull up,” Park commented. “Your mother’s just gone to the store to get some snacks.” His stare snapped from Riley to Noah, and Riley watched in amazement as the man’s eyes widened, then shimmered. “You must be Noah. I’m Park.”

Noah nodded. “Riley’s daddy.”

“That’s right.”

“Do yous have toys?”

Park smiled wide. It was the first time Riley had seen him smile since his return. “Why don’t you come in and have a look?”

Riley was surprised when Noah looked to him, seemingly seeking permission. “It’s okay, buddy. You can go.”

Noah didn’t release Riley’s hand. “You come?”

Riley smiled down at him. “Of course. Let’s go.”

Park stepped aside as Riley and Noah entered and closed the door behind them. “Go out the back. I’ll get some drinks.”

Riley stared at his father a beat. “Thanks, Dad.”

In the backyard, Riley chuckled when he saw that the mini trampoline, which had belonged to Seb, had been resurrected from the shed, as well as a small paddling pool that Riley had never seen, filled with water.

“Can I plays in that?” Noah asked excitedly, all but jumping on the spot.

“There aren’t any swim shorts in your bag.”

Noah snorted. “Mommy says I can swim in my undies,” he explained, kicking off his shoes and struggling to pull off his T-shirt.

Riley helped him and, once Noah was undressed, he watched as the little boy ran over to the small pool and clambered in. The water was at his ankles, and Noah immediately started kicking the water all over before picking up the small plastic cups in the pool and using them to pour water on himself. He was adorable.

“Your mother found that at Target.” Park’s voice came from Riley’s side. “She thought he’d like it. You boys always loved the water.”

Riley crossed his arms over his chest and smiled with his eyes still on his son. “Yeah. I remember.”

Park cleared his throat. “He’s your double, Riley.” He shook his head a little in wonder. “Standing here it’s like looking at you twenty-six years ago.”

Riley glanced over at his father, speechless. The tension that had clouded them for so long seemed to ease a bit. “He’s amazing, right?”

Park exhaled a laugh. “Yeah, he is.”

“Riley!” Noah called, his blond hair darkening under the water he’d poured over it. “Comes play!”