A Death in Canaan (16 page)

M:

Ham and cheese. Can you eat that?

P:

Yep.

M:

Cupcakes.

P:

Thank you very much.

M:

What's happening?

P:

Oh, I'm messed up.

M:

You're messed up?

P:

But it's getting all together and I'm just seeing why everything happened.

M:

What do you mean, why everything happened?

P:

Well, I mean, the way I was brought up.

M:

Why, what happened?

P:

Well, it turned out I did it.

M:

You killed your mother? How did you do that?

P:

Well, we haven't really gotten into it. We've been digging and digging and digging and Lieutenant … what's his name?

M:

Shay.

P:

Shay. I keep thinking … from some TV show. Want half of this, Jim?

M:

No. I've already ate downstairs. Why did you do it?

P:

The whole situation was that I flew off the handle. We must of had an argument 'cause everything showed up on the polygraph. So, ah, the reason behind it was the way I'd been brought up. I never had the love that I should have had. The basics. You know what I mean?

M:

Yeah.

P:

And that's what it all built up to.

M:

And it terminated in this, killing your mother?

P:

Mm-hm.

M:

What did you argue over?

P:

We're still trying to take it apart. But there's a time lapse in there. And we finally found a blank spot I couldn't remember and that's when we got into it.

M:

What was the argument?

P:

It had something to do with the car.

M:

The Corvette?

P:

Mm. To have traded it in, most likely. I'm not positive. I'm really gonna have to think this one out. I want to go back down to the house. Just to be in the surroundings of the place, you know, maybe it will give me a little push.

M:

Why you did it?

P:

Right. I feel terrible about it, of course.

M:

Well, it's an awful shock.

P:

I know. You knew me, and you wouldn't expect me to do something like that.

M:

In other words you blew up, and you lost control. Is that what you're saying?

P:

Something just snapped with all the tension and everything, you know. I mean not having this and always having her on my back and always calling up for me, and always saying you can't use the car, you can't use the car and everything's my fault when it starts breaking down, and I always pick out duds for cars, and stuff like that. And everything builds up. And saying I make bad deals when I swap things for something. Trading in something. It all built up and it finally broke last night.

M:

Well, just what happened?

P:

Well, I remember using—I say it's the straight razor that I used and I slashed my mother's throat with it. And that came in out of nowhere. And I remember, I think, jumping up and down on her. I'm pretty sure.

M:

You say a straight razor. You mean a straight razor like a barber uses when he shaves your hair?

P:

Yes. I know, what did I have one of those for? Model airplanes. My mom picked it up from Mario in Canaan.

M:

I never even knew that you built them. I thought you were a fisherman.

P:

Oh, I'm a Jack-of-all-trades, master of none. I do a little bit of everything. Models, old cars, records, music. Music is my big thing though. Like music?

M:

What did you do, do it as soon as you came home from the Youth Center?

P:

When I looked at the bed she was in bed, and when I looked down she was on the floor. And in between those two things was a lapse of time. That's what we're digging into.

M:

Did you cut her throat?

P:

That's right. I can remember it, yes.

M:

What did you do with the razor?

P:

I don't know. I think I threw it. And if I'd thrown it, there were only two places that I would have thrown it that I'd know. One would be behind the gas station and the other would be over that red barn by the house.

M:

The gas station across the street?

P:

Yes. If I used the razor. That's something that pops into my head.

M:

Did she scream or anything?

P:

I don't remember.

M:

Well, I knew you were having trouble with your car but didn't know that you were thinking—you mentioned quite awhile back that you were thinking about trading it in for a van or wagon …

P:

A Vega wagon or something.

M:

Plus the fact that she calls up the Madows and Belignis and all over looking for you.

P:

I never got any real affection from her. I never knew what it was really like to grow up normally.

M:

So in other words, even though you loved her there was a conflict there between you.

P:

Yeah. That's something I didn't realize. Something you never had you don't miss.

M:

Well, you got a problem. Something's wrong.

P:

Something's wrong.

M:

Have you ever fought with her before?

P:

We've had arguments. I threw a flashlight at her once, underhand, just quick loss of temper and hit her in the shin.

M:

Did you get any blood or anything on you when you cut her?

P:

That's what I don't understand. There's nothing on me. I'm still wearing the same clothes. I can't understand that.

M:

Well, they look like new pants. Are they?

P:

No, they've been through the washing machine, once.

S:

All right. It's getting late. You're tired, we're tired. We're going to reduce what you said to writing. We're gonna try to cover what you told us. How you came home, how you came in the house and you said, “Ma, are you there?” and the fact that you had words, and you're not sure what they were about, but it was something about a car. Now, did she come after you, do you recall?

P:

I don't recall.

S:

But you recall cutting her throat with a straight razor?

P:

It's hard to say. I think I recall doing it. I mean, I imagine myself doing it. It's coming out of the back of my head. But I'm not absolutely positive of anything.

S:

Peter, you spent an hour here talking about trust and you said to us repeatedly that you were responsible for your mother's death. Now the last hour you said this emphatically at least two-dozen times. You told us a half-dozen times that you cut your mother with a straight razor.

P:

I said I thought I did.

S:

No, you said you did. You didn't say you thought you did, you said you did. OK. Now, all I want to do now is reduce this to writing.

M:

Look, Pete, it doesn't make that much difference whether you say it orally or whether it's reduced to writing. It's just a question of logistics for us.

P:

Well, I'm still not positive that I did it.

M:

You just told me that you did it.

P:

I told you that I've been drilled so much that it seems like I did it. And the chances are that I did do it. That's what it's boiling down to. But, I'm not positive.

S:

Get it down on paper, Jim, and we'll go from there. You know, Peter, obviously what you're doing is playing headgames. You said here for the last two hours—at least two-dozen times—that you are responsible for your mother's—for what happened to your mother.

P:

Yeah, I know I said it. But, everyone is saying that everything shows that I did do it.

S:

Here you go playing headgames again. I told you that we got you locked into the house at a time between nine-thirty and ten minutes to ten and I told you that we got your mother on the phone with the doctor at nine-thirty. So, when your mother died you were in the house. We can prove this.

P:

I already said that when she died I was in the house.

S:

All right. So, if she died when you were in the house and there were only the two of you there, somebody is responsible for the other's death. The other is you, Pete.

P:

Wait a minute. My original statement, when I walked in the house, she was already lying …

S:

You made a statement to the effect that she was in bed, she got out and advanced on you and that you …

P:

I said I was not sure that she advanced on me.

S:

You didn't say may have, Pete. You're playing headgames again.

P:

No, I'm not. I know what I said there. I said I wasn't sure if she advanced on me or whether we just argued or what. Or whether she came after me with something or what.

M:

Is there a report in here to write this down on?

S:

Yeah, in the drawer.

P:

I don't know what to do, Jim. I'm still not positive any of that happened. The only things I'm positive about are when I walked in and I saw her on the floor. My original statement was the only thing I was positive about …

M:

Well, this is what I'm going to do. I'm going to take a statement and you tell me just what you just told me here a few minutes ago.

P:

Now wait a second. Can this be used against me now? The statement?

M:

Oh, yes.

P:

Then why should I say something that I'm not sure of if it can be used against me?

M:

Well, this is what I'm saying. I'll take the statement. You give it to me and I'll write it up.

P:

Mm. In the statement, can we say that I'm not sure of …

M:

Yeah, whatever you tell me I'll put onto here.

P:

The whole statement that I make, I'm not sure of.

M:

This will be included in here.

P:

OK. But the entire statement that I make, I'm not sure of.

M:

Now you're eighteen, right?

P:

Mm-hm. Will I stay at the barracks again tonight?

M:

I don't really know. All right. Today's Saturday …

P:

Twenty-ninth.

M:

No, this is Thursday evening when this happened …

P:

Friday evening.

M:

That's the Methodist Church, right?

P:

Mm-hm.

M:

Now, what time did you leave the meeting?

P:

I think around nine-thirty or nine-thirty-five.

M:

Returned home, right?

P:

Mm-hm. I dropped off John Sochocki first.

M:

OK, you arrived home. What time was that?

P:

Around nine-fifty to nine-fifty-five. You know, Jim, after what I said, I honestly don't think I did this.

M:

This is something you're going to have to make up your mind about.

P:

I really don't think I did it. Because as I remember, when I turned around after seeing her both times, the clock hadn't moved.

M:

What clock hadn't moved?

P:

'Cause the first thing I did was look at the clock when I came in. And when I turned back around after I saw her on the floor it was still the same time.

M:

Well, what time did the clock say when you first looked at it?

P:

It was either ten of or five of. Either one or the other.

M:

Well, it can't be one or the other.

S:

How you doing, Jim?

P:

I'd say five of ten.

M:

Well let me get this now. You arrived at your house about nine-fifty to nine-fifty-five. Take it from there. What happened?

P:

Well, I shut off the car, and I jiggled the headlight.… No matter what that test says in there, something I just remembered is after I found my mom on the floor I looked at the clock again, and it hadn't moved.

M:

You shut off the car. Then what?

P:

Then I went inside and the first thing I do is yell, “Hey, mom, I'm home,” and I looked at the clock.

M:

Which door did you go in?

P:

The front door.

M:

And you yelled what?

P:

“Hey, mom, I'm home,” or something to that effect.

M:

All right. Go on.

P:

There was no answer, so I looked in and saw her by the bed.

M:

To the left or to the right?

P:

To the right. Can you stop for a second after you finish with this line?

M:

Go ahead, say whatever you want to say.

P:

Everything that I've been saying, it's almost like I'm making it up. I'm not sure about it.

S:

Now look. Now listen. You've been playing headgames with us now for too long a period. Now, I told you once before when you and I were talking here that we have definitely established that you were in that house when your mother was killed. OK, now look. There are many things that we can do to make this thing a very difficult process for you. You realize that?

P:

Yes.

S:

All right. Now, I've tried very hard to be understanding and I've tried very hard to get across to you that we're not out to hurt you. We're out to treat you as a decent human being. But, I've been fooling around here for a lot of hours with you and I'm getting tired. I don't want you to treat me like some kind of a jerk.

P:

I'm not.

S:

Now, you sit there and you tell me that you're responsible for your mother's death and you say it twelve or fifteen times. I tried to treat you like a human being. I tried to be understanding, but it seems you've had such a rough upbringing that you reject every offer that we've made to be kind to you. Now you're trying to treat us like muck. I've been out of bed—I missed two days sleep. And I just can't fool around with you forever. Now you said here fifteen times in the last two hours that you were responsible for your mother's death, that you cut her throat with a razor, that you threw the razor either over the barn or over the gas station yard. You've indicated that you jumped on your mother's legs and that you jumped on her. These remarks, although they were solicited from you, were reported back very accurate and very astute comments on what actually happened there.

P:

Right.

S:

OK. Now, I don't want you to play any more headgames with us. And if you want to play this way we'll take you and we'll lock you up and treat you like an animal. Now, you're eighteen years old, I realize you've had a hell of a rough time in your life but sooner or later you're going to have to face this. You're going to face life and you're going to have to face what you've done. And I think it's about time that you sat up in that chair and you faced us like a man and you realize that trying to talk to two state policemen like they're two goddamn idiots, it's not gonna work. Now, you are here because you are responsible for the death of your mother. I am not sitting in judgment of you. I am not saying it was right or wrong. It is a death that we must investigate.

P:

Mm-hm. I understand that.

S:

Then let's stop the nonsense and let's get going here. Our design is not to hurt you. Our design is to help you. We know what your life has been like. We know what your mother's reputation is. We know a lot more than you give us credit for. I'm not even saying that you were wrong doing what you did. But, you've got to take hold of yourself and you've got to get yourself some help. OK?

P:

Right.

S:

Now, let's get the problem solved. I don't want to see you in prison. That's not what I get paid for. I don't get paid by the number of people I put in jail. Neither does he. And neither does Sergeant Kelly or Sergeant Schneider. Or anybody on our whole state police department. Now somebody is dead. You are responsible, we know. We can prove it with extrinsic evidence. Now we're telling you that we are offering you our hand, take it. Do I make sense to you?

P:

You say you can prove it?

S:

Yes, we can prove it.

P:

Wait a minute.

S:

Just a minute, Peter. I told you that I'm not going to play headgames.

P:

I'm not.

S:

When two people are in a room and there's a third person outside that witnesses those two people in a room, and one is dead and the police should establish that death occurred at a certain time and the third party puts the second party in the room, the second party is responsible for murder. That's common sense.

P:

Right.

S:

That's rules of evidence. Now, your mother called the doctor at nine-thirty. You called the hospital at ten minutes of ten. We can place your mother's death in that fifteen-minute period. That means you and her were there alone. Now, if you think you can beat that you're crazy. And, if you're going to act like a hardened criminal, John Dillinger, try to beat the police, you're nuts. So just sit there like a man and understand that you're not gonna go to the gas chamber or you're not gonna go to life imprisonment. You're going to be treated. You're going to be put into a hospital where you get care. Why? Because you have to.

P:

Am I going to be put in a hospital?

S:

Yes, you are. Now, let's stop the headgames and maneuvering here. I'm not going to give you the details of the murder. You know the details and so do I. I'm telling you if you cooperate with us, stop kidding around with us, fooling around with us, we will do right by you. And that's no kidding and that's no con job to get you to give a statement. That's just plain simple truth. Now shall we proceed?

P:

Mm-hm. I looked to the right into the bedroom. OK. First I thought I saw my mother in bed and then I saw her on the floor.

M:

Which bed was she in?

P:

Top bunk.

M:

What was she doing on the floor?

P:

What do you mean what was she doing there? That was the double take. Right there.

S:

Pete …

M:

Look, Pete, let me explain something to you. What the lieutenant is telling—I don't know what he knows. He knows a hell of a lot more than I do because he's in charge of this investigation.

P:

Right.

M:

He told me that you were responsible for her death.

P:

Right.

M:

What the lieutenant is trying to tell you, you will be charged. This is a formality. You'll be charged with murder. But there's extenuating circumstances here. The only one that can give us the answer to these questions is you, yourself.

P:

Mm-hm.

M:

We have enough from what he tells me and from what he says here, apparently, to prove you guilty of murder in the state of Connecticut.

P:

Mm-hm.

M:

But if there's a problem here, something is wrong. You're going to have to go see a psychiatrist. You may have to spend time in a hospital. In fact, it's a good possibility that you will spend time in a hospital. It may be a week, it may be a month, it may be three months. But there's no sense, if you are responsible for her death, sitting here telling us you don't know what's going on.

S:

Now there's no such thing as a double take. There's no double take. You're not a camera. You're a human being.

P:

But, what I mean by double take is I looked once and I thought I saw her in bed and I looked again and saw her on the floor.

S:

No, you looked once and you saw her in bed. You have good eyesight. You're not a camera. You don't double take. This is a maneuver.

P:

What I mean is, in between the time that I saw her in bed and on the floor, it seemed like a split second. So it was a blackout in my memory there. That's what I've been trying to draw all these facts from, all these things about the razor and stuff. They're coming back. Now, the man in there who gave me the thing on the polygraph told me that after I had done what I done, that I was ashamed of it and what I was doing was I was rejecting it from my memory. And that's what I wanted to explain about that in the statement.

S:

Do you remember cutting your mother's throat?

P:

I remember going like that by my mother's throat. That's one of the things that came back.