39 Weeks (24 page)

At
half ten the doorbell went
, and I shouted through the door again to see who it was, expecting it to be Rob checking up on me, but it was Marsha so I let her in.

‘I had to see f
or myself that you were alright’ s
he said.

‘I’m fine
’ I lied.

‘Well I don’t know about fine.’ She said looking me over appraisingly and no
t coming to any positive conclusions
, reminding me of my mother. ‘And I thought you might need some help having a shower.’

‘Oh that would be great.’ I said ‘You sure you don’t mind?’

‘No course not, I don’t mind at all.’

It was Marsha who had the brainwave to tie a plastic carrier bag over my bandaged foot, and after that it was plain sailing. Wobbly plain sailing trying to wash myself while standing on one foot, but manageable. She sat on the loo waiting for me, right there in case I needed her, but thankfully I didn’t, although I did feel a lot better just knowing she was there, and a bit more confident that I’d be able to manage on my own next time.

‘So what have you done with the children?’ I asked while I soaped
standing flamingo-like
inside the shower and she sat waiting outside.

‘They’re at playgroup until twelve.’

‘And Rob?’

‘He’s too big for playgroup, I’m sure he’d enjoy it but it wouldn’t be fair on the other kids.’

‘I mea
n has he gone out?’

‘No he’s sitting downstairs feeling guilty, waiting in case you need anything.’

‘Oh.’

‘He really does feel bad you know about what happened.’

‘It was an accident.’
I said.

‘I know, and he knows as well but he still feels guilty about it, especially with you being pregnant. It’s a shame really Mac’s not here,
he’s always ribbing him about his driving and
he’d really enjoy seeing
Rob squirming.’

‘They don’t get on then?’

‘Oh no they get on fine, they sort of revert to being twelve whenever they’re together, it’s like having four children instead of two.’

Wait a minute, let me just rewind that a bit, what did Marsha
say? It’s a shame Mac’s not here, and they get on fine. They? . . But Mac and Rob are the same person aren’t they? I mean isn’t he? I mean . .
what did I mean? W
hat did she mean?

I finished my shower in record bre
aking time
, grabbed the towel she’d left hanging over the door, and turned the water off.

‘You okay in there?’
Marsha asked.

‘Yes.’ I said distractedly
still trying to puzzle it out
.

‘You sure?’

‘Did you just say Mac’s not here?’

‘Yes, no he’s not here, I told you he’s working away.’

‘Then Rob’s your . .’ I started to say as I opened the shower door to face her, but couldn’t quite get all the words out of my mouth to finish the sentence.

‘Rob’s my brother. Oh my God you thought Rob was Mac?’

‘But he bought up all that baby stuff and . . the photo in your living room . .’

‘Mac didn’t make it back when he said he was going to
,
he decided to
stay on
for two more
weeks so he could get the job finished early and then come home to stay for a couple of weeks before the next trip, so Rob bought the stuff up.’

‘But the photo? . . you said it’s Mac and my brother . .’

‘And you thought Rob was Mac, and Mac was my brother.’

‘Well yes.’

Marsha started laughing, but I couldn’t see anything funny at all. She was laughing so much she could hardly speak.

Then Rob came upstairs. Marsha had left the front door on the latch for some reason so he just walked right in and shouted through to the bathroom that
Mac had just been on the phone to say he was definitely coming back this Friday, and he’d phone again later this evening.

To my immense horror and mortification Marsha shouted back, ‘Okay Darling thanks.’ Killing herself laughing all over again.

‘What did you just say?’ Rob said laughing himself at the odd form of address Marsha had used, but realising
it was a joke of some sort,
no doubt
because he
could hear her chuckling away to herself.

‘I said thanks Darling.’

‘I thought that’s what you said . . um . . why?’

‘Judy thought you were Mac, that I was married to you.’

‘What?’

‘Hang on, we’ll be out in a minute.’
Marsha told him.

Ever felt like you wished the ground would open up and just swallow you whole
? Y
eah well that’s how I felt at that moment, big time, and the last thing I wanted to do was walk out to the living room, well hobble, still dripping and towel wrapped, to face Rob and what I now knew was his sister having a good old belly laugh at my expense.
But I had no choice, there was no way out, nowhere to run and hide. Like I could run anywhere anyway, but you know what I mean.

‘I can’t face him
’ I whispered. ‘Please don’t make me go out there.’

‘It’s alright Judy, he’ll just think it’s funny, don’t worry.’

‘But that’s exactly why I am worried. I feel so stupid.’

Only then did I remember him telling me he was staying with his sister, and how she had two children and it was all a bit overcrowded which was why he was looking for a place of his own.
My brain cells
had obviously decreased to the level of almost
being an endangered species.

‘Come on, it’ll be fine.’ Marsha said as she left the bathroom
,
and me on my own.

Fine! How can it be fine. It’s anything but fine. I tried desperately to remember what I’d said to him at the hospital. Had I said anything stupid, I’m sure I had, but was it plain stupid or really bats in the belfry stupid? I couldn’t remember. But it did explain why he’d looked so puzzled.
 

I could hear Marsha explaining to Rob, but he wasn’t laughing as much as I’d
thought he would
. Maybe he understood. Somehow I didn’t think my luck was that good. Maybe
he was angry. He could be angry, b
ut it was a genuine mistake, one that anyone could have made. Then I felt guilty for all the bad things I’d thought about him being a lying cheating arse. Then I felt stupid again.

There was no easy way out of this, so when Marsha shouted
for me to ‘c
ome out and meet my
brother’
still chuckling away to herself
,
I was left with no choice but to face him.

‘Hi. So you’re Marsha’s brother.’
I said as breezily as I could manage under the circumstances
and trying to make a joke of it
.

‘You thought I was married to Marsha?’ Rob said
almost
laughing, but the laughter didn’t quite reach his eyes as he stared at me intently.

‘Yes. Stupid eh?’

‘And all this time you thought I was . . and you thought when we met at Zee Zee’
s that I must have been . .’

‘I got it wrong okay, I’m sorry but it was a mistake anyone could have
made, I mean how was I to know?
’

‘At Zee Zee’s?’ Marsha said trying to keep up.

‘Yeah, I met Judy at Zee Zee’s before she moved in here.’

‘She wasn’t the one . .’ Marsha said thoughtfully.

‘No, no she wasn’t that one.’ Rob said cutting her off short before she could finish.

‘What one?’ I asked.

‘No one, no one at all, it was nothing.’ Rob said g
lancing quickly at Marsha
, to which Marsha raised an eyebrow, making me sure there was something going on.

‘Shall I make some tea?’ Marsha said
trying
a bit too hard
to change the subject.

‘No not for me I’ve got things . . um . . that I should be doing and Judy
should probably
. .’ Rob said unconvincingly making it obvious he just wanted to get away.

I was quite keen for him
to get away myself so I said ‘y
es and I should be getting dressed’.

He turned to go just as my Mother arrived, in fact they practically bumped straight
into one another. Great, just great. I could have crumpled to the floor and burst into tears right there on the spot.
Where was a big hole when you needed one?

12
th
October - Week 19 +
3
And A Half Days

Of all the times for my mother to pay me an impromptu visit she had to pick this one didn’
t she?
Her
unerring ability to unnerve me and catch me out whenever there wa
s anything to catch me out with
had cursed me for as long as I could remember, and she was certainly living up to that reputation today.

For a second or two we all just stood looking at each other, until my last few remaining brain cells took control.

‘Hi Mum, this is Marsha who lives downstairs
, and this is her brother. Um
Guys this is my mum.’ I said introducing everyone to each other
while
managing to avoid using Rob’s name
rather cleverly I thought
.

Then the fi
rst thing Rob said to her was ‘h
ello I’m Rob, pleased to meet you.’

How quickly do you think I could arrange to emigrate? Anywhere would do, just so long as it’s really quick and really far away from here.

‘So you’re Rob.’
She said smili
ng ingratiatingly
with that mad demonic gleam in her eye that switches on
whenever she’s on a mission. This one of course being to get her pregnant embarrassment of a daughter married off.

‘Actually Rob and Marsha were just leaving, weren’t you?’ I said looking at them both, pleading as hard as I could with my eyes for them to go along with me.

‘Oh surely you can stay for a while and have a cup of tea or coffee, can’t you?’ Mum said in her best imitation
upper class accent that really wasn’t fooling anyone.
How about Australia, or Canada, they’re both a long way away?

‘Sorry Mum but they really have to go, don’t you?’ I said practically getting down on my knees and begging them to please agree with me. ‘Maybe next time.’

Marsha caught on straight away,
of course
she didn’t know why I was so keen for them to leave and not get chatting to my mum,
I mean it could have just been that I had a really embarrassing mother, which I did, or something else altogether, which it was,
but she twigged it was what I wanted, what I desperately wanted, and started pushing Rob out the door.

Maybe out of sheer perverseness, or maybe because
he didn’t interpret my unspoken pleading, or just that
his man brain hadn’t quite caught up yet
, he lingered, or would have if Marsha hadn’t been so forceful. Anyway finally they both left.

As the front door closed,
I hoped
properly this time as I was getting pretty fed up with people just walking in whenever they felt like it, I turned to Mum and asked her what she was doing here
.

‘So that was your Rob was it?’ She said completely ignoring my question.

‘Yes that was Rob.’

‘He seems very nice.’ What she meant of course was he’s breathing, he’s got two legs, two arms, and hasn’t got two heads, he’ll do. ‘I take it you’ve told him?’

‘Yes Mum, he knows I’m pregnant. But what are you doing here?’

‘That’s good, what did he say? Was he pleased, shocked, what was his reaction? Shocked at first I expect, but is he pleased now he’s had a chance to get used to the idea
? When did he get back? Where was it you said he’d gone, somewhere abroad I know
,
but where exactly?’
 

‘Okay if this is going to be an interrogation is it alright if I get dressed first?’

‘Yes good idea, you get dressed and I’ll put the kettle on, just tell me where the kitchen is.’ She said chirruping happily at the prospect of hearing all the information I was about to impart. I pointed towards the kitchen and she nodded and said she’d find everything and not to worry.

Mm
,
not to worry, good joke Mum. Of course she meant not to worry about helping her find the tea things in my new kitchen that she
hadn’t seen before. She had no idea I was on the verge of having a breakdown at the very idea of the conversation we were about to have. I’d have to tell her the truth. I mean it had gone on long enough
this lie,
and he was living right downstairs for goodness sake, she could run into him anytime, especially if she was just going to drop in unannounced mid-week like this.