39 Weeks (42 page)

‘No’

‘But you said . . .’

‘Yes I know I said, but he isn’t.’

‘Then who is?’

‘A guy I met at . . well it doesn’t matter where I met him, he was just a onetime moment of madness, a mistake.’

‘A mistake? D
id you love him?’

‘No I didn’t love him, he was a twonk, a complete and utter arse.’

‘And he left you I suppose when he found out you were pregnant. Oh Judy you should have told me, I’d have understood, some men are just bastards like that. They lead you on and make you think they care and then as soon as there’s any consequences to face they run away terrified.’

‘No Mum it wasn’t like that, it wasn’t
at all
like that. I wasn’t going out with him, there wasn’t any leading on. The truth is . . . I was out and he chatted me up a bit . . and well I . . I was drunk, there I’ve said it. I was drunk and I thought what the hell and I slept with him.’

‘You slept with him, what the same night you met him?’

‘Yes
. I know it was a stupid thing to do, I mean I didn’t even know the guy, not really. I knew he was a twonk but I slept with him anyway. I regretted it almost straight away but it was too late by then. I never saw him again and I wouldn’t want to. And then I found out I was pregnant and . .’

‘Oh my G
od Judy, what were you thinking?
Do you often . . have you . .
do you always . .’

‘No of course I don’t. This was a onetime mistake. I don’t make a habit of sleeping with men I’ve only just met.’

‘Well that’s something I suppose. Have you told him about the baby?’

‘No.’

‘Don’t you think you should?’

‘No. He’s an arse and he wouldn’t care even if he knew.
’

‘So who exactly is
Rob and what does he think of all this, does he know?’

‘Yeah Mum I think he’s guessed that I’m pregnant.’

Mum gave me one of her scowls, but this time anyway I probably deserved it, I mean it was hardly the time for being flippant was it?

‘
Does Rob
know that the baby’s father was the result of you being drunk and sleeping with a man you’d only just met?’
Mum said slowly
emphasising
each and
every word.

‘Yes he knows.’

‘And?’

‘There
is
no
‘
and
’. I
t happens
,
I wouldn’t be the first woman to . .’

‘Yes, yes. But does he mind? Are you serious about him? Is he serious about you? How does he feel about you having another man’s baby?’

‘He doesn’t mind, he’s probably not thrilled about it being someone else’s, but he’s fine about the baby. And yes I am serious, I love him Mum, and I think he loves me, he said he loves me and . . but we’re not getting married or anything like that so don’t go spoiling things and asking him a load of stuff.’

‘Were you seeing him when you . .’

‘No I didn’t meet him until after I found out I was pregnant.’

‘This is all a bit of a shock. Why didn’t you tell me all this straight away instead of letting me go on and on about . . is that why you’ve been trying so hard to stop me meeting him?’

‘Yes. I’m sorry Mum. I only said Rob was the father and all that other stuff so you wouldn’t freak out at the thought of your single daughter being pregnant. I know how impor
tant
these things are to you.’

‘They’re not so important that you had to lie.’

‘I’m sorry I just . . I was still getting used to the idea of having a baby myself
and I couldn’t face the thought of one of your lectures, and I knew you’d go off on one if you knew the truth, so I said Rob was the father and that we were going to be together and . . and . .’

‘And when I met him, what we’re you going to say then?’

‘
Well I was going to tell you
after a few weeks that
we’d split up so I didn’t think you ever would meet him, but then
I started going out with him for real, and . . now you are going to have to meet him because I love him and I think, I hope, we are going to be together, so I . .’

‘So you had to tell me the truth before I said something . .’

‘Yes. I’m so sorry Mum, please don’t be angry wit
h me. I was just so stressed
, and I couldn’t face . . I already felt bad enough about getting pregnant, I just . .’

‘It’s alright I understand, I think.
But please don’t lie to me like that again will you?’

‘No well I hope I never have to, I’m not planning on ever getting mys
elf into this kind of mess
again.’

Mum put her arm round me and for that moment anyway she was my Mum again, my real Mum the one who’d loved me when I was little and wiped my tears when I was upset, and who’d spoiled me and made me laugh when things went wrong. I knew it was only temporary and that sooner or later she’d morph back into the ever critical harridan she’d become in my adult life
, but for now she was just my Mum.
 

I put the kettle on again for more tea as we’d le
t that first cup go cold with barely a sip. I
washed out our cups and resumed washing up last night’s dinner plates.
 
 

‘So when Rob was in Bangkok . .’

‘He never went to Bangkok. At the time I wasn’t even seeing him. I’d met him
once, but that was all, and
when you guessed that day that I was having a baby, I don’t know his name just popped in my head, and then I had to think of a reason why you couldn’t meet him and . . well I got a bit carried away.
But you won’t mention any of this to Rob will you? He doesn’t know that I lied or made up a story about Bangkok or any of it, he . . where is he anyway? He should h
ave been back by now. Maybe he saw
you arriving and is a bit nervous about meeting you.’

Mum made the tea, while I went downstairs to find Rob and tell him it was alright and he could come back upstairs and meet my Mum. But Marsha said he’d gone out.

I thought perhaps he’d just gone to the shop for something and would be back in a minute, but two hours later he still wasn’t back. Mum eventually got fed up with waiting and went home, and I was left wonde
ring what the hell had happened to him.

1
st
January
- Week 31 + Half A Day

I waited
getting more and more anxious with every passing minute
. I’d been back downstairs to ask Marsha where he’d gone, but she said she had no idea. I
’d
tried his mobile a hundred times but that was switched off. So where had he gone, and why hadn’t he told anyone, maybe something had happened and he’d been in an accident or something. My imagination went into overdrive.

It was seven o’clock before I heard the front door downstairs open and slam shut again. I waited for Rob to come upstairs, but he didn’t, so I went downstairs to find out what had happened.

Marsha let me in and pointed to the kitchen before disappearing to one of the children’s bedrooms, a
nd
I guessed it must be their bedtime. Rob was standing with his back to me and I watched for a moment without saying anything as he attempted to put a spoonful of coffee into a mug. There was spilled coffee granules everywhere, and he swayed slightly as he concentrated at this his third attempt. He was drunk, rip roaringly, couldn’t stand up straight
,
drunk.

Although I hadn’t spoken or made a sound he must have heard me come in, or sensed in some way that I was standing there in the doorway, and he swung round still with the spoonful of coffee in his hand that scattered all over the floor as he turned.
  

‘Judy.’ He said
none to coherently. ‘You wanna
coffee?’

‘What happened to you, where did you go?’ I said without moving.

‘Had to go out. You wanna
coffee or not?’

I walked towards him, crunching over the spilled coffee, and took the spoon out of his hand. ‘You sit down
, I’ll make the coffee.’ I said.

‘
Kay you make the coffee an
I’ll sit down. So how are you? How’s your Mum, she still here?’ He said sitting down, or should that be falling down onto the chair.

‘No she’s gone home. Why did you have to go out, where’ve you been all this time?’

‘Aah that’s for me to know, had to get away.’ Rob slurred tapping the side of his nose.

‘But why? I thought you were coming back upstairs.’

‘Yeah did that
, heard the
little talk
you had
with your mum, know all about it, everything. An then I went out
, needed to get away an think
.’

‘What did you hear exactly?’

‘Everything, heard all about everything. Gotta hand it to you Judy, you was good, had me
proper
fooled. Ha that’s it yo
u fooled me good cos I’m a fool
see, get it? Cos I’m a fool.’
Rob laughed hollowly.

‘Rob I don’
t know what you heard but I haven’t been trying to fool you about anything, I love you.’

‘Na don’t say it, can’t fool me anymore now, cos I know, I know what you’re up to.’
 
   

‘I’m not up to anything.’

‘
Oh y
es
, you and your mum been plotting away. Did the Chippendale gues
s it, is that why he took off? H
e
was
first choice
right? An then I come along. S
tupid Rob with his stupid
I’ll decorate your flat for you, bet you thought I was a prize sucker, second choice
an all that, but
what the hell, he’ll do. Is that what you thought?’

‘I
don’t know what you’re talking about
but you’ve got it all wrong.’

‘
Nope,
haven’t got anything wrong,
heard you, ‘it’s all I’ve dreamt about walking down the aisle,’ you said, ‘get someone to support me for the rest of my life’ you said. An I nearly fell for it, all of it
.
Stupid Rob an his stupid ideas.
’

‘It’s not like that, I was trying to explain to my mum . .’

‘Save it. All makes sense now, a
ll of it. I was gonna ask you
. . ha what a joke. Bet you and your mu
m thought you’d hit the jackpot. C
ourse I don’t have a job, that must have been a bit of a blow but under
the circumstances, I mean prob’
ly not too many blokes willing to take on a pregnant woman, but
beggars can’t be choosers and any port in a storm eh? So you
had to settle
for stupid Rob. Well
sorry love but you’re gonna
have to start again, bit of a setback I know
,
but I’m sure you’ll manage it. M
aybe it’s
still
not too late for the Chippendale.’

‘Rob you’ve got it all wrong, I . . .’

‘
Ok
ay need to sleep now an you need to go away. Better phone old Chippy
before he meets someone else, cos this boat has sailed Darling.’

‘Rob please listen to me I . .’
   

But it was too late, Rob had laid his head on his arm on the table and fallen sound asleep. I stood there for what felt like a lifetime and eventually turned away and went back upstairs.
 

2
nd
January – Week 31 + 1 Day

I made it into work this morning but I’ve no idea how. I hadn’t slept at all after Rob’s
drunken tirade. I didn’t know what to think, or do. Course when I’d got back upstairs last night it had all fallen into place. I must have been in the middle of arguing with Mum and right at the moment when I’d got all sarky about her pus
hing me to get married, that must have been when Rob had
come back upstairs. He’d stayed long enough to only hear half the conversation and put two and tw
o together to come up with five
and the half baked conclusion that
me and Mum were plotting to get me a husband, and little Ella a father, and were apparently being none too fussy about who it was either. He must have heard all th
at and stormed out, and that must have been
the door slamming Mum and I had heard.

I knocked on Marsha’s door early this morning, but Rob
was still
sleeping and I didn’t think it wou
ld be the best idea to wake him. B
etter to let him sleep it off and sober up, and then I’d explain everything. So that meant waiting until I got home.