39 Weeks (27 page)

‘
No not painful
.’

‘
You look
worried, scared.’

‘Yeah I am a bit.’

‘Is everything alright with the baby?’

‘Yes . . it’s just routine but . . ‘ It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him.

‘But?’

‘It’s nothing, just me being stupid probably.’

‘I can wait with you if you’d like, I don’t have to just drop you off.’

‘No it’s fine, and I don’t know how long I’ll have to wait, last time it took
over
an hour.’

‘It’s okay, I don’t mind
, i
f you don’t mind . . I mean I’ll wait with you if you want me to, but if you’d rather I didn’t . .’

‘Are you sure? I really don’t want to
have to wait by myself
if I can help it
.’

‘No of course not. Come on then we’d better get going.’

‘Yes.’ I said without moving an inch.

‘Okay then.’
He said gesturing to the door.

‘Right.’ I said still not moving.

‘Judy?’
He looked
at me questioningly.

‘Okay I am worried, there’s a chance, a small tiny chance that I might be having twins.’

‘And you don’t want twins?’

‘God no are you mad, I’m scared to death at the thought of having a baby at all
,
never mind two of them.’

He sat down next to me on the couch and put his arm round me in a big brother way. ‘How small a chance?’

‘Um . .
not very
small
actually.’

‘And this scan will tell you one way or another is that it?’

‘Mm. The doctor says it’s probably not
,
but the scan will say definitely.’

‘Well let’s go and find out, shall we?’

‘But what if it is?’

‘Well we’ll worry about that if and when.’

‘Okay.’ I said
feeling a
bout ten years old and he
really
was my big brother.

He pulled me to my feet and helped me out the door
, still with his arm round me, which wasn’t easy given that I was st
ill using the crutch to walk every
where. He settled me in his car and we drove to the hospital while he tried hard to talk about the traffic, the weather, last night’s telly, anything really to take my min
d off where I was going and why,
b
ut it was more of a monologue as I didn’t join in at all, preoccupied as I was.

We found a pa
rking space and trekked, none too quickly with my peg-leg, to the main reception. At least I knew the way this time so we didn’t need to ask at the desk and I dutifully followed the blue line to the lift, then out of the lift along the corridor to the end to sit with all the other mums, and a few dads, in the waiting area.

‘We’ve really got to stop meeting like this.’ Rob joked as we
sat on the uncomfortable waiting chairs. ‘I think it’s about time we found a new place to hang out, don’t you?’

I smiled but couldn’t bring myself to laugh.

‘So where’s James? Not that I mind waiting with you, not at all, but shouldn’t he be the one . .’

‘James is not the father.’ I said distractedly.

‘Not.’

‘No.’

‘But he . . and you . .’

‘I never said he was the father, you just assumed.’

‘And you let me.’

‘Yes I suppose I did, but at the time I thought you were . . um . married and . .
anyway he’s not. So now I suppose you think I’m a complete tart and have got a whole string of men on the go.’

‘No I don’t think that at all, I’m just a bit surprised that’s all. So if James isn’t the father then who . . . ? Sorry it’s none of my business, and if you don’t want to tell me I . .’

‘James is just a friend, was a friend. The father is a twonk I met at Gill’s hen night. It was just the once and I never saw him again, never wanted to see him again, like I said he was a twonk, a complete and utter twonk of the first order. Getting pregnant was a mistake, a big mistake.’

‘I see.’

‘Do you, do you really, or are you just
more
convinced
than ever
now that I am a slag.’

‘I never said that.’

‘No you never said it
.’

‘I never thought it either. Why, a
re you?’

‘No I’m not. The twonk was a momentary Bocardi induced lapse in judgement, there hadn’t been anyone before him since I broke up with Alec
over a year ago
. And for the record there hasn’t been anyone since.’

‘So the twins thing is something in your family then?’

‘No, well not that I know of. I heard . . somewhere
. .
can’t remember where, that the twonk had a twin brother.’ Lord save me from myself and the lies that just keep coming
out of my mouth
no matter how hard I tried
to stop
them
.

‘So not only did you end up pregnant but now it might be . . blimey.’

‘Yeah.’

We sat in silence while Rob digested all this information, and I went back to worrying again.

‘What did you mean when you said James was a friend
as in used to be, have you fallen out with him?’

‘God you really want your money’s worth don’t you? Are you always this nosey?’

‘Sorry I’m just interested.’

I looked at him, trying to weigh up what his game was. Was he just interested, was he just making conversation to take my mind off everything, or was he being
way too
nos
ey?

‘You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.’ He said.

‘Okay, he helped me out one night when my car ran out of petrol, and then he helped me out again when I moved. He’s a friend. He wanted it to be more
but I didn’t. There satisfied now you know everything.’

‘Yes . . well no. If he’
s just a friend why does he get so . .
you know . .
every time he sees me, and why does he behave like you and him are . .’

‘Like I said he wanted it to be more. I guess he thought you were
the
competition, stupid eh?’

‘Ha yeah stupid.’ He said avoiding looking directly at me
, too embarrassed to make eye contact I guess
. ‘And now you’re not friends
anymore
?’
he said looking at me again.

‘No.’

‘Because you dumped him.
’

‘I didn’t dump him, I didn’t have him in the first place to be able to dump. He wanted us to be more than friends and I didn’t so I stopped seeing him. Simple as that. Can we talk about something else now?’

‘Yes
of course. But you’re not seeing him anymore?’

‘Arghh.’

‘Sorry, sorry just checking.
Right
talk about
something else
. .
um . . so have you decided how you’re going to redecorate your flat yet?’

‘Cream, I’m going to have it all cream, very pale almost white
, simple, clean, and not peach
.’ I said matter of factly, still recovering from the onslaught of all those questions, but relieved we were finally off the subject of my love life, or lack of it.

‘Sounds good, I can help if you like?’

‘It’s okay I’ll manage.’

‘What with a broken foot? I can’t see you going up and down ladders with your crutch somehow, can you? Not to mention while you’re pregnant.’

‘I didn’t say it would be easy, I said I’d manage, and my foot won’t be broken forever will it?’

‘No I think I should help, I mean it’s the least . . ‘

‘If you say it’s the least you can do I might have to hit you, you’ve got to stop saying that.’

‘Well it is, but I’ll try and stop
saying it if it annoys you so
much.’

‘Good.’

‘So shall we go and pick up some paint when we leave here?’

‘Um no, I don’t think so.’

‘Why not?’

‘Well for one thing I have to be back at work, and for another I haven’t said I want your help.’

‘Okay how about this, we get the paint, then I drop you off at work, and I’ll go home and get started on things. How does that sound?’

‘Sounds like you’re not listening to me.’

‘I am listening but you’re being very stubborn, are you always this stubborn?’

‘I . . it’s not that I don’t appreciate you offering, and with it being the least you can do and all
, but how can I put this . . thanks but
no thanks,
I can manage.’

‘You can’t, and I’m doing it.’

I glared at him hard, and he glared right back. I did want his help, well I wanted someone’s help he was quite right about that, I probably couldn’t manage on my own, but I didn’t want him hanging around my flat all the time it was awkward enough just sitting in his car twice a day. But
I was too tired and too stressed to argue anymore.

‘Okay.’ I said deflated.

‘Was that okay thanks, or
okay if you have to?’

‘
Bit of both if you want the truth
.’

We didn’t have to wait as long as the last time I
’d
had a scan, and before too much more time passed
a nurse wandered through the waiting area calling my name. I sat
frozen to the spot. The moment had come. I would finally after all these w
eeks find out for definite if the baby
was going to be one
baby
or two. You don’t suppose it could be more do you? I mean if you had the gene, or more accurat
ely Matt the twonk had the gene
for multiple births
,
that it meant exactly that, multiple. What if there were three or six like that
family
. . um . .
the
Walton
’s wasn’t it
who had six girls. Oh God.

‘It’s time to go.’ Rob said. ‘They’ve just called your name.’

No
. P
eople only had six babies when they were on some sort of fertility treatment, I was getting
just a little bit schizoid now, of course it wasn’t six. For one thing I’d be like the side of a house wouldn’t I?

‘Judy Parker?’ The nurse called again.

‘Judy it’s time.’ Rob said.

But it could be two, it could easily be two. Two feeds every three or four hours, two lots of nappy’s, two labours one right after the other. I can’t do this, I just can’t. I di
dn’t even want to have one baby, I definitely didn’t want to have two.

Rob was trying to pull me to my feet and I hadn’t even noticed. Then the nurse who’d been calling my name came over and asked was I coming or not, and did I know that I was holding everyone up.

‘I can’t do this.’ I shouted far too loud.

‘It’
s alright Judy, you can do this, you have to. Y
ou need to know.’ Rob said trying to calm me down.

‘No I don’t
.’

‘Is it your foot, is that what the matter is? Well I’m sure your husband will help you.’ The nurse said trying desperately to heave me out of the seat.

‘Husband?’ I said bewildered. ‘Oh he’s not . .’

‘Sorry your partner then.’ She said still pulling on my arm.

‘Look’ Rob said to the nurse
conspiratorially
. ‘Why don’t you see the next person on your list and come back to Judy after they’ve been in. I’ll talk to her it’s just nerves, she’s a bit worried, I’m sure she’ll be fine.’

‘Hmph.’ The nurse snorted totally put out by havin
g her little schedule thrown
out
of kilter. Then she marched off calling the name of her next victim.

‘Judy you have to do this, do you want to have to go on worrying right up to
the last minute
?’

‘No’ I whispered.

‘No exactly, then you have to have this scan. And it might be good news
, you might be worrying for nothing,
but you won’t know if you don’t go in there and find out, will you?’

‘No’ I said contritely.

‘So when the nurse comes back in a minute, you’re going to get up and walk in there aren’t you, and then you’re going to get on t
he bed and let them . . scan
, right?’